WHY TITANIC IS SO FUCKING AWESOME, NO JOKE

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From ReelThoughts:

One question I occasionally get (and sometimes ignore) is how long I think it will be before a movie knocks Titanic off the perch of all-time domestic box office champion ($600 million). My answer: perhaps never. Titanic was, in box office terms, a “perfect storm.” It had the nostalgia element, so it appealed to older viewers. It was a serious drama, so it appealed to adults. It featured cool special effects and a sinking ship, so it appealed to teenage boys. And it had Leonardo DiCaprio, so it appealed to teenage girls (who saw it time after time after time). I can’t think of another movie that reached so many different demographics. Romance, adventure, nudity, death, disaster, cutting edge special effects – Cameron’s film had something for everyone.

FACT.

Oh and let’s not forget the titties in this PG 13 movie. Best PG 13 fap scene of 1997! BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!! No joke.

34 thoughts on “WHY TITANIC IS SO FUCKING AWESOME, NO JOKE”

  1. first-YEAH

    how they rate box office success dumb. It should be by the amount of tickets sold, because the price of movies will always continue to rise. Soon $20 bucks will seem cheap for a flick.

    And for ticket sales, Titanic is like 3rd i believe.

    #1 | Comment by Mr_Junky — April 1, 2006 @ 11:17 am

  2. tru.dat

    the ship breaking in two and sinking….friggin’ awesome.

    and kate wisnslet’s titties were nice too.

    #2 | Comment by postaldude057 — April 1, 2006 @ 11:18 am

  3. THIRD POST!!1

    “how they rate box office success dumb. It should be by the amount of tickets sold, because the price of movies will always continue to rise.”

    Absolutely. *also agrees with #2*

    #3 | Comment by game kid — April 1, 2006 @ 11:42 am

  4. i think that attitude is exactly why james cameron has been so reluctant to make more movies. so maybe you should shut up

    #4 | Comment by guy — April 1, 2006 @ 11:57 am

  5. A few days ago on Bang Bus there was a girl who looked EXACTLY like Leonard DiCaprio (face wise)

    I fapped to her…

    Does that mean if I saw Leo I’d get a woody? Maybe he’d like that…

    #5 | Comment by Zahid — April 1, 2006 @ 12:03 pm

  6. Worst movie ever made. The old classic Titanic films are far better.

    #6 | Comment by Grammaton_Cleric — April 1, 2006 @ 12:54 pm

  7. All-time domestic champ?Not entirely true: when adjusted for inflation, Titanic is only 6th (behind Gone With the Wind, Star Wars, Sound of Music, ET, and Ten Commandments, but ahead of Jaws).

    Comparing $600 million in today’s dollars to 1930’s dollars (or even 1970’s dollars) doesn’t make sense.

    Also, Titanic sux!!!

    #7 | Comment by zemus — April 1, 2006 @ 2:03 pm

  8. #7 – Hell, adjusted for inflation, even The Ten Commandments beat that fagay Titanic.

    #8 | Comment by Bill Clay — April 1, 2006 @ 2:49 pm

  9. #7-8, old movies were also rereleased time and time again. And on the other hand, the US population was much smaller back in the day.

    #9 | Comment by guy — April 1, 2006 @ 3:24 pm

  10. i prefer what a girl wants, fap fap fap…

    #10 | Comment by bum bum — April 1, 2006 @ 7:17 pm

  11. Maximum Overdrive was better.

    #11 | Comment by JustSumDude — April 1, 2006 @ 7:33 pm

  12. Kate’s boobies are incredible but she has always been hot. I recall fapping to her back when she was first in Heavenly Creatures, playing such a naughty, murderous schoolgirl.

    Where are some new pics of Mackie? The Mack in a bikini? The Mack doin coke with her hottie friends? Come on, Justin! Get with it, man!!!

    #12 | Comment by YourBlueRoom — April 1, 2006 @ 9:10 pm

  13. You guys are missing the point on the post. Its an April Fools joke. Its gotta be.

    #13 | Comment by Bman — April 1, 2006 @ 9:51 pm

  14. awwww snap magus it back and he’s not leavin this time…. anywayz, aside from message in a bottle and that movie where robin williams goes to heaven titanic had to be one of the saddest movies ever… fuckin celine dion and her sad ass shit… anywayz big ups to the titties

    #14 | Comment by Magus — April 1, 2006 @ 9:51 pm

  15. Serious drama? If by that you mean “most cliché plot ever”

    It’s Lady and the Tramp. On a boat. That sinks.

    #15 | Comment by Jaquio — April 2, 2006 @ 12:08 am

  16. youve got to be joking

    #16 | Comment by Dex — April 2, 2006 @ 2:29 am

  17. I wound love to fuck rose.

    #17 | Comment by Bob Barker — April 2, 2006 @ 2:40 am

  18. Correction: AIDS

    #18 | Comment by AngelBaby — April 2, 2006 @ 2:53 am

  19. Kate’s boobies were the only good thing about that movie.

    FACT!

    #19 | Comment by Jessica Chobot Sucks — April 2, 2006 @ 2:59 am

  20. april fools haha

    #20 | Comment by jupiterssj4 — April 2, 2006 @ 4:08 am

  21. *agrees with #19*

    #21 | Comment by kiko — April 2, 2006 @ 4:27 am

  22. #7,8 & 9 – Also more people went to the older films, because TV wasn’t a common fixture in people’s homes in the 1930’s-1960’s, so if people wanted to watch something, they had to go out to a movie. So it’s not really fair to compare tickets sold and the adjustment for inflation on films that were the ONLY choice. If we didn’t have TV today, I’m sure movie attendance would be a lot higher than it is now.

    Also, Kate’s boobs are great in the film, and whether this is an April Fools Day thing or not, at least, it’s something to talk about here.

    #22 | Comment by council24 — April 2, 2006 @ 4:51 am

  23. *agrees with #21 who agrees with #19*

    #23 | Comment by El Payo — April 2, 2006 @ 6:20 am

  24. Justin has made it clear several times in the past that he loves Titanic, so this is obviously not an April Fool’s Day joke. I consider it my all time favorite one-off movie (no sequels…not part of a series). My favorite movie that’s part of a series? The Matrix. How’s that for eclectic tastes?

    #24 | Comment by MK Ultra — April 2, 2006 @ 9:26 am

  25. About as eclectic (and hip) as catsup.

    #25 | Comment by YourBlueRoom — April 2, 2006 @ 9:31 am

  26. desu

    #26 | Comment by Dex — April 2, 2006 @ 10:44 am

  27. #25, it’s ketchup. Silly American spelling.

    #27 | Comment by LeisureSuitL — April 2, 2006 @ 11:02 am

  28. #22 – “Also more people went to the older films, because TV wasn’t a common fixture in people’s homes in the 1930’s-1960’s, so if people wanted to watch something, they had to go out to a movie.”

    #2 Star Wars 1977 adjusted – $ 1.1 BILLION
    #4 E.T. 1982 adjusted – $ .9 BILLION

    Titanic=pwnt

    #28 | Comment by Bill Clay — April 2, 2006 @ 2:06 pm

  29. I think I may be the only person in the world who’s never even 1 second of Titanic. I intend to keep it that way too!! Why bother?
    so yeah…. TITANIX SUX ROFL

    #29 | Comment by sosomuchfun — April 2, 2006 @ 2:23 pm

  30. The first tits I ever saw *Tear*

    #30 | Comment by RegPed — April 2, 2006 @ 5:15 pm

  31. I watched the tit scene when it first came out on dvd, but haven’t seen anything else…why would I want too?

    #31 | Comment by philip_funderburk — April 2, 2006 @ 11:43 pm

  32. Titanic = ass crap
    but
    Tits = only reason to watch

    #32 | Comment by J — April 5, 2006 @ 12:28 pm

  33. Hey look on the bright side, at least di caprio dies at the end. It’s like some sort of beatiful dream…

    #33 | Comment by SavageParrot — April 5, 2006 @ 4:26 pm

  34. pwnt

    #34 | Comment by AngelBaby — April 6, 2006 @ 10:51 pm

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