Yes! I’ve seen em all! And this is what i think!
The Scorpion King
Starring: The Rock, Michael Clarke Duncan
Hulk Hogan, eat your heart out! Brendan Fraser, Schmendan Schmaser! Not since Rowdy Roddy Piper has a professional wrestler made such a seamless transition from the squared circle to the big screen. Bring your hankies, ladies; The Rock will make you swoon. And don’t fret guy, guys; The Scorpion King is a non-stop roller coaster ride. Just buckle up and enjoy!!! Screw governor, The Rock for president!!!
Rave-O-Meter: Eleven stars
Spider-Man
Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst
Director Sam Raimi does it again. The edge of your seat will be completely worn out by the end of this pulse-pounding, nail biting masterpiece. Kirsten Dunst has never been as brilliant. Tobey Maguire is an absolute revelation. I only wish i have more thumbs.
Rave-O-Meter: Twenty nine stars
Star Wars Episode II – Attack Of The Clones
Starring: Hayden Christiansen, Natalie Portman
Brilliant!!! Episode II is a popcorn movie with heart, soul and a funny bone. George Lucas not only knows what an audience wants, he gives it to them in spades. There isn’t a superlative possible (trust me, i searched my thesaurus for days) that does this film justice. Do whatever it takes to see Episode II immediately. Stand in line for tickets now if need be. You won’t be disappointed!!!
Rave-O-Meter: Fifty three stars
Scooby-Doo
Starring Freddie Prinze, Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard
The chemistry between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar bristles. After seeing Scooby-Doo, it’s easy to see how this young couple bucks the pressures of Hollywood and keeps on keepin’ on. Matthew Lillard might as well be a feather that constantly tickles your feet. He made me laugh so hard i need to consult a physician. And two weeks later, i’m still on medication!!!
Rave-O-Meter: Six hundred and eight stars
Minority Report
Starring: Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep
After seeing Minority Report, i can say with absolute certainty that Tom Cruise is NOT gay. Never before has a leading man been so gosh-darn masculine. Cruise sizzles! I absolutely loved him in this movie… in a heterosexual way, of course.
Rave-O-Meter: Forty-thousand stars
-spidey gets 54 stars due to miss dunst-
#1 | Comment by beng — May 10, 2002 @ 3:27 am
I don’t believe that this would actually be Justin making these reviews to give spiderman only 29 stars while giving Scoobydoo 608 stars and Minority report 40,000 stars. Not with the money shot involving Kiki in it.
#2 | Comment by koleah — May 10, 2002 @ 6:05 am
go to http://www.movie-mistakes.com and you will know why that movie scores so low!
#3 | Comment by Jason Poh — May 10, 2002 @ 6:47 am
It’s not Justin…tis gotta be someone else.
The money shot itself deserved 40,000 stars.
#4 | Comment by John Wooooo — May 10, 2002 @ 11:18 am
How exactly have you seen Episode before it’s worldwide release date of May 16th.
Oh and it’s not actually finished until May 14th!
#5 | Comment by Moserrat De'Olivier — May 10, 2002 @ 1:31 pm
It’s still not finished.
So he must have got an unfinished version. Plus why would you want to watch it on a shitty computer when you can just wait!
#6 | Comment by Monserrat De'Olivier — May 11, 2002 @ 8:04 am
where do you go to download these ah things.?
#7 | Comment by looking — May 11, 2002 @ 8:58 am
no, it’s the full version. also, wouldn’t you want to watch it before the majority of the population does?
you can download it if you have a program such as morpheous, or grokster, etc…
#8 | Comment by saint — May 11, 2002 @ 11:06 am
there’s this thing, where you can download things. and this thing sometimes has things that shouldn’t be out, but are. for example; ‘episode II’. think before commenting, makes you look half-way smart.
#9 | Comment by saint — May 11, 2002 @ 12:26 pm
Wouldn’t that mean that the special effects won’t be complete?
#10 | Comment by Milk — May 11, 2002 @ 3:40 pm
what the fuck is wrong with all of you fucks?
#11 | Comment by dude,whoaaaa — May 12, 2002 @ 4:36 pm
This post somehow appeared in the archives. On a different day I mean.
#12 | Comment by James — October 20, 2002 @ 12:11 pm
This post somehow appeared in the archives. On a different day I mean.
#13 | Comment by James — October 20, 2002 @ 12:14 pm
This post somehow appeared in the archives. On a different day I mean.
#14 | Comment by James — October 20, 2002 @ 12:17 pm