Back from vacation in the great out doors. I hate airlines. The worst thing about going to visit one’s grandparents is that when you first get there they cook you this great big meal, but the rest of the week all you get is leftovers. Damn was I glad to eat a hamburger when I got home. I hate airlines. Small towns suck too. Their idea of going to the “mall” turns out to actually be the largest gathering of rednecks and hillbillies in what may have once been a flea market but is now just a social gathering to determine if a whole set of teeth can be formed by the community. I hate airlines.
I hate airlines. I did manage to accidentally place my vacation right at the beginning of deer season though. So grandpa though it would be great if I was a redneck for a day and try my luck with a 12 gauge armed against antlers. So besides for having to get up before dawn, sit in 12 inches of snow for hours on end, not smoking, and not moving…. I decided that it might be fun. I hate airlines. Well, apparently Bambi had other plans. Although not equipped with antlers, this particular deer thought it would be quite interesting if it scared the ever-living shit out of a city boy by walking up behind him when he is not aloud to move to look around and has three hats over his ears to try and stay warm. Say, within five feet. Anyone want some deer jerky?
Have I mentioned that I hate airlines. Not only can planes not fly with ice on them, for which they obviously don’t account for the fact that it might snow when temperatures drop below freezing point, but they take an hour and a half to “de-ice” the plane. Ok, so now you have to use your credit card to try and use the onboard plane to call your ride and tell them you will be late. But better then that, occasionally the airlines find it funny to put your luggage on the wrong plane. Not just one piece either, they keep all of them together. I had six pieces. So when the conveyor belt stops and thirty people are asking where the hell their luggage is, the highly trained airline employees “don’t know”. Three hours later another plain arrived with my luggage on it. No wonder US Air is going bankrupt. Sorry if I was assy to anyone last night when I got back, but now you see why. At least Bambi is dead, next year maybe Thumper.
How was your vacation Justin? Hopefully you didn’t fly.
Welcome back. 🙂
#1 | Comment by thess — December 3, 2002 @ 10:39 pm
Ha ha, you killed Bambi, and I got his mother, wo-Hoo!
Ah am ah redneck.
Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk
I AM SOUTH GEORGIA
oh, fucking hell…
#2 | Comment by Seriously — December 3, 2002 @ 10:43 pm
6 pieces of luggage?! is that including the whole damn deer and it’s christmas tree?
#3 | Comment by eve — December 3, 2002 @ 11:10 pm
He just wanted to make sure he had the proper ensemle for any occasion.
#4 | Comment by thess — December 3, 2002 @ 11:17 pm
Only fags carry more than one piece of luggage…two pieces tops. Fag.
#5 | Comment by Unknown — December 3, 2002 @ 11:35 pm
Who said he went alone?
#6 | Comment by Seriously — December 3, 2002 @ 11:39 pm
Who says you can’t build a better mouse trap….got ya!
#7 | Comment by Unknown — December 4, 2002 @ 1:08 am
The best mouse trap was the one the Tom used to try and catch Jerry with.
Best ever.
#8 | Comment by dugas of eenodol — December 4, 2002 @ 3:41 am
damn you really took it to that deer…
i dont like american airlines…we went to america last christmas and those damn custom dudes took my boucy balls offa me…little tiny bouncy balls…what the hell are they going to do…
gah
#9 | Comment by Froy — December 4, 2002 @ 4:09 am
Jamlink-
I successfully killed bambi this year too! Although mine was with a Winchester 300 Mag rifle and it was a button buck. My step father also got the largest of five does.
Yay!
I make an AWESOME deer stew…can’t wait to get the meat back from the butcher…
Yum!
#10 | Comment by smash — December 4, 2002 @ 5:15 am
I for one, will never be "a redneck for a day." Unless you count using plastic forks, paper plates, and watchin’ wrastlin’ all the time redneckish… :\
"I make an AWESOME deer stew"
Nasta, what does deer taste like? Don’t say chicken you lame-asses, I got your chicken swingin’.
#11 | Comment by Bubba — December 4, 2002 @ 9:44 am
"6 pieces of luggage?! is that including the whole damn deer and it’s christmas tree?"
That shit’s fucking funny, and I don’t know why. A deer and its christmas tree, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I snicker everytime I see it.
#12 | Comment by Seriously — December 4, 2002 @ 10:32 am
that’s awful! I hope a rabid deer family devours your entrails next time you visit. Sick bastard. poor bambi…. 🙁
#13 | Comment by bambi killers suck — December 4, 2002 @ 12:00 pm
you spelled hate wrong in the beginning of the 2nd paragraph
#14 | Comment by xenophile — December 4, 2002 @ 12:17 pm
I love the sight of death… Bambis cold, lifeles eyes are beautiful.
#15 | Comment by Quijotes_Leprous — December 4, 2002 @ 12:34 pm
Thank you for not being an "Unknown" moron Seriously. Remember about reading the archives Moron. If you had you would realize 2 things:
1) I am married and therefore the chances of me being a fag are very low.
2) If I was a fag, I might be a cross dresser and would need twice as many clothes. Plus more clothes cause I am going from 90 degrees to 20 degrees.
I love it when some retard tries to be funny and makes a complete ass of himself.
Fixed it xeno, thanks.
#16 | Comment by Jamlink — December 4, 2002 @ 12:40 pm
blah
#17 | Comment by bligityblah — December 4, 2002 @ 12:52 pm
aw. R.I.P deer.. 🙁
#18 | Comment by Susan — December 4, 2002 @ 1:20 pm
Trying to be deep just won’t make it so —
#19 | Comment by raceman — December 4, 2002 @ 1:25 pm
Next time give your ride the number of your flight, then they can check the time it will arrive over the phone or internet. Most airlines have an 800 number you can call for an update on arrival times.
Also, sorry about your bad experience hunting Jamlink, that deer got what it deserved for sneaking up on you. Geez, like the damn deer think they own the forest now or something. When I imagine that in the future our world might contain forests where deer can go prancing about any way they like, potentially frightening city boys… well, its enough to make a grown man cry for his grandchildren.
#20 | Comment by Airline Apologist — December 4, 2002 @ 1:26 pm
bambi killers suck-
In my area the deer have their revenge. There is a risk of getting a TB infected deer.
Bubba-
Deer tastes like a very lean beef. According to nutritionists it has half the fatty shit than lean beef. If you dont do anything with it it tastes very gamey. If you dress it in stew, marinade, or other creative stuff, it is the tenderest meat you can enjoy!
#21 | Comment by smash — December 4, 2002 @ 3:19 pm
Jamlink…this is a link from my site. I keep it under the guise of "Bestiality", just so I can keep track of all the sickos out there.
http://www.treefort.org/~rgrogan/web/bambi.htm
#22 | Comment by embus — December 4, 2002 @ 5:27 pm