Alright. You know what i fucking hate? GIRLS! Okay not really. I love girls. But i hate the way they can fuck you up in the head sometimes. Maybe it’s just my bad luck but after being in 10 unsuccessful relationships so far (of which 3 i consider to be ‘serious’ ones i.e ones that lasted longer than 12 months; not necessarily me fucking them), and only 2 out of all 10 ending without the girl either:
a) cheating on me. fucking cunts.
b) lying to me about something/everything. goddamn bitches.
c) playing me like a videogame. stupid whores.
So that’s only 2 relationships ending on good terms. Of which i will never badmouth because i was never wronged. (in those cases, they were mutual breakups)
But let’s take a look at those 3 serious ones. Which happened to be with my 2nd, 8th and 10th exs. Lasting 15, 14 and 14 months, respectively (i think i have this curse where none of my relationships will ever last over 15 months). Only ONE of those didn’t end up with a) b) or c) happening. And that was with my 8th.
2nd and 10th? CHEATED ON ME.
I didn’t even see it coming with my 2nd. 15 months into the relationship, she drops this bomb on me about how her dad wants her to study overseas in England. And that she’d be leaving in like, fucking a week later or something. So i’m all sad and shit and i’m like “omg this sucks i can’t ever call her or see her again boo hoo”. And so she leaves right. And i’m like “WAHHHH. oh well i must be strong” and no phone calls from her anymore. Cry cry. And then guess what. Two weeks later, she supposedly comes back from England (to get more of her stuff she says) and gives me a call. I’m like “OMG what are you doing back??” and all happy and shit and then she tells me that her parents want her to get engaged with this guy and that it’d been arranged to be that way since they were kids or some shit and i’m like “…oh”
=(((((((((((
And so i’m like all sad and crap and as she’s telling me all this, she’s like fucking all COMPOSED and stuff. Not even in the slightest bit unhappy or whatever. Fuck. I didn’t even notice it at first because i was too fucked up by the news but upon further reflection after a coupla days or so, i figured something was definitely not right. And to make a long story short, after like two weeks, i’d found out from a mutual friend of ours that all that time, she’d been motherfucking cheating on me with this other fag. Holy shit i mean fuck, making up an elaborate story about going to fucking England and all that arranged marriage shit and not just telling me straight up that she’s seeing some other guy? Why you gotta do that? Is honesty dead??
Which brings me to my last ex (cunt no. 10). I’ll admit that i had some good times with her but all that has gone down the fucking shitter upon realizing that what we had never was what she wanted. But that’s too long a story to elaborate on so i’ll just skip to the fucked up (on her part) parts. So like last year, she just graduated from High School right, and is about to start her first year of college, so i’m all like being “Okay college is gonna be different. You’re probably gonna have all these fucking guys trying to get into you pants and shit. Try to have a piece of you. It’s going to happen. It always happens. Guys are fucking assholes like that”. And i’m like fucking all warning her about all that college guys shit so that hopefully she won’t FUCKING CHEAT ON ME WITH ANY OF THEM (which she NOT SURPRISINGLY did but we’ll get to that in a moment). So then like 2 months go by and i start hearing about this new guy she’s friends with and how they’re always going out together to have fucking coffee and shit and going to stupid gay shows together and crap. And i’m like ‘OMG RED FLAG’ and i tell her that the dude probably likes her and that he’s going to make a move on her. And she all like “Oh no. Pffft. We’re just friends! Nothing going on. He doesn’t even like me!”
And so i’m like all still suspicious and shit and all cautious and all the while FUCKING HATING THIS PRICK KNOWING that he WILL try something. And my fucking girlfriend gets MAD at me for not trusting her and suspecting that something’s going on between the two of them. She gets mad at me for not trusting her!!! Now keep this in mind okay. Her getting mad and pissed off at me for my lack of trust.
Okay so cut to like….fucking 5 months later or something. 3 fucking days before our 1st year anniversary. And guess what she tells me.
She confesses to me that she cheated on me with that fucktard she was always out with.
WHAT A GREAT ANNIVERSARY PRESENT HONEY!! THANK YOU! <3 I FUCKING KNEW IT! I even fucking called it out! I KNEW something was up at that time. Her always going out with him and her always talking about him and actually even fucking telling me that she ‘enjoys his company’ (YEAH I BET THAT WASN’T ALL THAT YOU ENJOY). Holy fuck seriously. Not even taking into account the past 6 or so ‘not so serious’ relationships i’d been in prior, i just fucking KNEW that somehow, i couldn’t fully trust the girl to fucking be loyal and faithful. But like a fucking stupidhead that i was, i trusted her anyways. And look what that got me. Sure, it’s not like we were fucking married or anything but it sure as hell doesn’t dull the pain of being cheated on by someone you gave your trust to.
And it wasn’t just a one time thing too. So her fucking lame excuse of it being a ‘moment of weakness’ is fucking bullshit. She got with him like twice. Hell, maybe even three times for all i know. Yeah, don’t give me that nobody’s perfect crap. There’s been many a time where even i start looking at other girls. BUT NOT TO THE POINT OF ME ACTUALLY LUSTING AFTER THEM AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT SO THAT I CAN GET INTO THEIR PANTS ALL WHILE ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. For the record, i’ve never cheated on any of my ex’s.
You know, chatlogs are a wonderful thing for calling out liars.
About a year before, we had this convo about cheaters.
psykotik2k: you dont seem like the type to cheat on guys
EXNO.10: u know
EXNO.10: my great grandmother cheated on her husband
EXNO.10: so did my grandmother
EXNO.10: AND my mom
psykotik2k: oh
EXNO.10: lol, just a little FYI
EXNO.10: but, no, I’m not like that
SHYEAH RIGHT. How fucking naive was i!?
But you see, for all my blaming them and calling them names and shit and publicly insulting them etc etc, i actually blame MYSELF for how all those relationships turned out to be in the end. And that’s the fucked up part. For all i know, i’m probably why they resorted to cheating on me, lying to me and playing me for a fool.
Maybe i AM boring. Maybe i’m NOT good boyfriend material. Maybe i’m just NOT good enough. Maybe i just suck.
Or maybe it’s them who are the ones that suck. Maybe they’re the bad ones. But nobody will ever know the truth. Hell, i don’t even know the truth and i doubt any one of you who are thinking “okay yeah, it’s his/her fault that things never worked out”. It’s so fucked up.
But that’s not the point. The point is that for the past 5 months or so since i got back to Brunei, i’ve been seeing this wonderful new girl and we’re already pretty deep into the relationship. Of course, we all know that i’m bound to go back to Michigan in January. And that would mean us being apart. And because i’ve been so fucked up in the head by all my past relationships, i’ve become cynical of ever being in one that WON’T end up with a) b) or c) happening again. Because fucking look at it. 8 out of fucking 10 times it’s a) b) or c). And it fucking sucks! When lord when??? When’s it going to be my time??
I’m so fucked up in the head right now when it comes to relationships. Makes me just want BANG BANG BANG.
But i’m not that kinda guy so i’d never do that.
So it comes down to me having serious problems trusting girls and believing that they won’t a) b) or c) me. Or even d) e) or f)-ing me up with whatever reasons/excuses they come up with. How hard is it to find someone with the same mentality as me? Someone that’s happy enough to just be with ONE person? Sure not all relationships are perfect and you can’t expect to be with just one person and stay with that one person your whole life in this day and age but there’s gotta be at least ONE person who at least, ISN’T a lying cheating playing cunt. Right? Well so far i haven’t found anyone who isn’t either one of those things.
I find it amazing when i hear of couples being in relationships that’ve been going on for more than 3 or 4 years. And not even married couples at that.
I generally don’t get back together with my ex’s once we’ve broken up. Hell, some of them i don’t even speak to anymore after we break up. But with my 10th cunt of a lying cheating ex, i actually forgave her for cheating on me that first time.
Oh yes. You read that right. That first time.
If i could turn back time i’d’ve just fucking dumped her stupid weak ass the day she told me. 1st year anniversary be damned. But no, i forgave her and stayed with her.
Only to find out that 2 months later, she’d fallen in love with this other prick. Fucking sending him e-mails with him giving fucking lovey dovey replies TO MY GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME, MAKING HER FUCKING START LIKING HIM AND WISHING HE WAS BONING HER STUPID CUNT. Holy crap how did i not see that coming? Oh wait. I DID.
Because see, prior to us breaking up, she was spending quite some time being in contact with this prick. Hell, even to the point of her talking to me ABOUT HIM. Holy mother of fuck. I think i’m probably fucking psychic or some shit.
Shit man. The next time something like that even remotely happens to me again, that’s it. No more waiting. Because it’s ALWAYS going to turn out the same. I’ll just dump the girl’s ass right there and then before she even cheats on me. Yeah. It’ll be like fucking Minority Report.
Goddamn. This so sucks. Now it’s like i can’t ever trust girls anymore.
I think i’m going to end up being like Umgawa.
Wow. The most I ever learned about you at once.
And you’ve had some harsh relationship endings dude.
Women suck.
#1 | Comment by smash — November 9, 2003 @ 3:24 am
i know exactly what you are going thru, ive been dating this girl for just under a year and a half. despite the normal tiny problems in our relationship it has been PERFECT. until recently of course. she became a senior in highschool, and its been one big 180 degree turn around. partying, hanging w/ other guys not realizing they only want one thing, cheating w/ them, lying to me, doing things shes never done before. she is an awesome girl. she just needs to get out of her "party" phase and i know she’ll be fine again. but of course i have to wait. she keeps insisting on me not leaving her cause she’s sorry and she loves me and all that jazz, so i keep giving her more chances cause i love her just as much. but if it keeps up much longer shes gonna have to hit the road
#2 | Comment by fromagex — November 9, 2003 @ 3:37 am
Hah, you seem like one unlucky guy. Luckily, I can’t relate to how you’re feeling right now.
I say you stab the next girl that cheats on you.
Oh come on, please?
#3 | Comment by ASL — November 9, 2003 @ 3:53 am
all women are lying whores.
#4 | Comment by aaron — November 9, 2003 @ 3:59 am
dude, i know how you feel man..i’ve had only 3 relationships but they were deep ones.. at least for me they were.. but they all ended the same way.. i was cheated on and left for someone else.. so yeah, it sucks..
#5 | Comment by chris — November 9, 2003 @ 4:01 am
Maybe if you see the end coming, knock them up before its over to give them something to remember you by
#6 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — November 9, 2003 @ 4:32 am
Justin, I promise you will find a woman who won’t do this to you. I think it’s a maturity-level issue. You are probably more mature than the females you have dated.
I hope the one you’re currently with is worthy.
You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I have often said (to other people when talking about you), "Justin’s a good guy". And I say that because I believe you to be a sincere, honest person.
And this wasn’t bitchy or sarcastic enough for the comment section at fubar…. but…. there it is.
#7 | Comment by Amy — November 9, 2003 @ 8:36 am
Having read this I was left wondering, what happened with the good girls? The 2 that ended mutually, respectfully, and maturely. Not to try to sound like a therapist or anything, but when patterns happen there’s probably a reason for it other than bad luck. Maybe these other mutual breakups could’ve turned into great relationships, but you pushed them away for whatever reason. Anyway, just curious.
#8 | Comment by Jables — November 9, 2003 @ 9:06 am
They’re all bitches. You can’t make a hoe a housewife, but you can make a housewifre a hoe.
#9 | Comment by tyler — November 9, 2003 @ 10:12 am
bitches, whatcha going do!
#10 | Comment by M54 — November 9, 2003 @ 10:37 am
girls ARE kinda skanky now, huh…
#11 | Comment by TheOtherAmy — November 9, 2003 @ 10:40 am
Stick to beating off…that will never end in heartbreak. Like Dr. Ruth says…"Love de penis, it’s de best part of aaaaannnnny relationship…"
#12 | Comment by pangwinking — November 9, 2003 @ 10:40 am
i have had around 5 or 6 releationships, and they all sucked. none of them lasted over 2 weeks cause i guess i have to high standards and they realize they are with a fucktard. But seriously i’m not a fucktard i wanna be with a girl who wants to be with me just as much as i wanna be with her. But i guess thats to much to ask. ive learned girls are bitches and nothing more maybe by wanting a relationship where everything goes well *besides the little arguments* im asking to much but im not a fucktard when will these girls realize this?
#13 | Comment by Wraith — November 9, 2003 @ 10:49 am
Hmmm. Here’s my advice. Pick better chicks. I know it sounds lame, but think about it, after 10+ its most likely, that for some reason or another you’re attracted to these type of chicks.
Just my lame thoughts on the matter.
#14 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — November 9, 2003 @ 11:05 am
oh dont get me wrong, i always try to pick the ‘nice’ girls, never the ‘bad’ ones (who would want to be with a whore anyway? unless if you’re just in it for the BANG BANG BANG). but that’s also where the problem lies. they always SEEM ‘nice’ at first. then somewhere along the line it all goes to fucking hell and they become the devil. i just wanna find a girl that, for once, just stays an angel from the very beginning. and make that motherfucking relationship work like it’s never worked before!
#15 | Comment by Justin — November 9, 2003 @ 11:26 am
for some reason, some people like leaving comments to my AIM screenname instead of the site. silly rabbits.
"im so fucking with you on the girl, I lose trust with every slut that I meet at college, they suck at life so much. An even worse insult to injury is that probably my closest ‘girl-friend’, who I slept with beggining of this semester b/c we had ‘feelings’ for each other…..but we knew we shouldnt be together…..yeah that deal, has slept with 3 guys in the last 24 hours. What a whore…..and one was this afternoon while her roommate and another guy were taking a nap in the room. GIRLS SUCK."
amy –
omg you talk about me to other people? stalker! but no seriously, actually maybe i’m the one who isn’t mature enough in the relationship. but then again maybe it IS them. see that’s the fucked up part. now i just automatically start laying the blame on myself thinking that it’s my fault when things don’t work out. although i know that it most likely isn’t (i mean, hell, it wasn’t me doing all the cheating in the first place! how can i be blamed??) but it always come back to me thinking that i’m somehow ‘not good enough’ for the girl, for her to even be able to do what she does to me. whatever it may be. i’m thinking like, "if i were ‘better’ she wouldn’t do that", ya know? sure, nobody’s perfect and i sure as heck don’t claim to be because i definitely am not, but at least i don’t cheat on people! and now as a result of being in shitty relationships, it’s like i almost EXPECT things to end badly and i’m now having a very hard time ‘giving it another chance’ because deep down, i just ‘know’ i’m going to get a) b) or c)-ed again in the end. i just don’t want to waste my time and energy trying to make something that’s potentially going to be doomed anyway, work. or at least that’s how i see things going. of course there’s also the offchance that things might work out. but then i’d probably still be worrying about whether i’m going to get ABCed anyway! i dont want to have to worry about that! argh!! *head explodes ala scanners*
jables –
the two that ended without incident ended because (generally) i) things weren’t working out anymore (she realized it and i agreed. no drama. this was with ex no. 8) and ii) because her dad didn’t want her to have a boyfriend just yet (this was with my 4th. i sorta talked to her mom sometimes and i guess i had to respect her parents wishes? so that breakup ended alright. no real drama). of course, the thing is that i almost NEVER speak/stay in touch with any of my exs (just some dumb thing that i do for mostly good reasons i guess) so it’s doubtful i’ll ever see or talk to them again. if at all.
although i have been talking to my very first ex again after practically 11 years of near silence (i posted about her some two weeks ago). i guess she’s the only exception.
#16 | Comment by Justin — November 9, 2003 @ 12:06 pm
… omg you really did it.. I wasn’t serious when i suggested for you to write something about depression…
#17 | Comment by Raze — November 9, 2003 @ 12:20 pm
actually i’d been meaning to post about this for quite a while now. hee. just figured it was right about time i did.
“mmm donut”
#18 | Comment by Justin — November 9, 2003 @ 12:35 pm
Do yu no what i hate? I hate gurls. My ex left me with a fucking one-year-old son. I’m stuck taking care of him for two days out of MY week, aka my social time. What a dead-beat mother she is.
AIMsn = f14tomct
#19 | Comment by Jon — November 9, 2003 @ 12:43 pm
I’m not sure whether or not to resent that, but right now I’m just trying to deal with my all-too-recent discovery that I’m deathly afraid of women’s panties.
Yes, you read that right. The reason why I’ve been single all these years has nothing at all to do with my often poor and always misguided choices for potential girlfriends, but that my bad taste in women is simply a symptom of this phobia that has crippled my sex life. And, no, finding a girl who always goes commando won’t help, either, because I think that’s kinda weird and it would just disturb me even more than the whole panties-thing.
There’s more to it than that, but I’m not going to put it all up here. … So, Justin, you need not worry about becoming anything like me… oh, you mean the fact that I don’t trust girls. Oh. Shit. Yeah, you’ll probably end up like me.
#20 | Comment by Umgawa — November 9, 2003 @ 2:17 pm
What sexcrazedweasel said is what I was trying to say in chat to you. Maybe it is the girls you are picking. You are picking ‘nice’ girls. But perhaps you are picking nice girls who are bitches.
I don’t know if what I am saying can be explained better. But perhaps you are picking bad choices because these are teh kinds of women you are drawn to, or even whatever you mean by ‘nice’ you are failing to notice this other trait about them.
#21 | Comment by smash — November 9, 2003 @ 2:23 pm
Posting certain pictures might make you feel better. (Petty vindication and all, but whatever.)
You’re too good for all of them, anyhow.
#22 | Comment by thess — November 9, 2003 @ 3:57 pm
Hmmm… beaver shots of gf’s 1-10. Oh yea. NOW you’re talking…
…wait. Agreeing with Thess…?! Someone check for penguins in hell.
#23 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — November 9, 2003 @ 4:02 pm
Run and hide, Armageddon is coming.
#24 | Comment by thess — November 9, 2003 @ 4:15 pm
HAHAHA. Dude, i feel your pain. I used to be like you, all trusting and shit. But after getting burned far too many times to count, now i’m just in it for the BANGBANGBANG. Although i’m probably gonna move away from that type of behavior and try to find a nice to settle down with one day. But for now, it’s all about the bitches and hoes and the BANGBANGBANG.
#25 | Comment by Pump — November 9, 2003 @ 8:36 pm
You’re too young yet for something to stick. You should assume all girls will fuck you over, so keep one eye open and enjoy the time spent and sex had. If you find you can trust them after all, then you’re good to go. If not, move on.
HOly shit!!! Thess is spouting born again crap.
#26 | Comment by grud — November 9, 2003 @ 9:48 pm
thess lives!
btw, update your site woman.
#27 | Comment by Justin — November 9, 2003 @ 10:30 pm
Don’t need to, now that you’ve posted something other than pore-porn. 😀
#28 | Comment by thess — November 10, 2003 @ 1:53 am
We seem to have a similar problem. The cause of mine is that I seem to have bad taste in women, if you find that all of your girlfriends have similar qualities, maybe you should do something silly and meet up with someone you’re not sure you like.
I don’t know if that makes since. Listening to advice from me, I mean.
#29 | Comment by Seriously — November 10, 2003 @ 2:40 am
Girls are not the only half of the human race that are lying, cheating cunts. And I can guarantee you that.
#30 | Comment by eve — November 10, 2003 @ 4:41 am
no comment.
#31 | Comment by quantum yield — November 10, 2003 @ 8:48 am
I like men
#32 | Comment by Diggingholes — November 10, 2003 @ 3:05 pm
OMG!!! IT’S EVE!!!!
OMG!!! IT’S THESS!!!
ON THE SAME PAGE!!!
#33 | Comment by grud — November 10, 2003 @ 10:28 pm