For about a whole month now, i’ve been pondering on this one thought.
I don’t exactly know how to put this thought into the form of a sentence but i’ll give you a fairly hypothetical scenario that’s based on two individuals. Now, hypothetically speaking right, let’s just say that there are these two guys. They’ve been best friends since like forever sorta. And funnily enough, they both have websites! And you, as a fairly innocent fly on the wall, have access to view both websites and you pretty much have an idea (not a good idea… but AN idea) of the dynamic friendship between these two guys.
Keep in mind that you don’t know these two guys yourself. Nor have you ever even met them much less spoken to them both. And all you really know about them are from what they post up on their respective websites. And usually, it’s detailed enough to paint a clear picture as to what these two guys have going on in their lives.
So we have these two ultimately flawed guys right.. one of them being rather ‘the victim’ and the other ‘the antagonist’, to put it broadly. But they’re still best friends.
The victim describes his best friend as someone who:
ditches him constantly
is the most selfish person he’s ever met in his entire life
nobody likes because he’s an ass to the victim’s other friends
tries to out do the victim constantly. no way that the victim can look better than him or have some sort of material posession that he doesn’t
makes every single situation about HIM. for instance when the victim was doing bad in school, it’s was all about him and how he felt and how he had no one to hang out with so the victim had to go to school
even when they have problems, he will just turn it around on the victim, and make the victim feel more like shit
if the victim has a girlfriend (or a girl the victim likes/likes the victim) he will cockblock the situation so the girl with either want him (by flirting with them), or they will hate him immensely and vice versa. then he will tell the victim what a ‘loser’ the victim has picked and that she’s ugly anyway and what was i thinking? so basically she tries to make the victim ashamed of whoever the victim is with.
when he’s in a bad mood he takes out all his problems on other people
he talks shit behind everyones back, including the victims (but the victim does it too sometimes), but denies it (whereas the victim admits it)
he has the lowest self esteem ever which he makes up for by making it seem like he’s insanely confident and flaunts himself everywhere and wants every girl to want him
he uses everyone in her life (all his friends), lies to them and then expects the victim to clean up his mess when he’s done with them
he is a terrible to his girlfriend, he treats her like a bad puppy
he makes a point of disliking people that the victim is friends with for the sake of making the victim upset and trying to get the victim to ditch them
he calls the victim up every once in a while to tell the victim what a loser the victim is and how the victim will never amount to anything
the victim tells him everything and sometimes he will embarass the victim in front of people based on information the victim has told him which the victim wanted to be kept confidential. then he gets mad at the victim for making a big deal out of it
he can criticize and tear the victim apart, but if the victim says one bad thing about him to his face he flips out and causees this whole big scene where they don’t talk for like a week
he is immature, hence them always fighting
BUT. In spite of all that the victim ALSO thinks of his best friend as:
the victim’s best friend for four years
someone who will always be there for the victim, no matter what, if he’s upset the victim can call him up at 3 in the morning and just cry
someone who does stuff in the victim’s best interest, even though it’s not really his place
someone who is rude to the victim because he cares and has trouble dealing with stuff emotionally so it comes out as anger
he is the single reason why the victim has made it this far, (apparently the victim is a self proclaimed fuck up?)
he assumes the role of the victim’s parent because the victim’s dad is a deadbeat, and while not always the best, at least he gets more (positive) results out of the victim than anyone else
he’s gotten the victim through a lot of scary and upsetting situations
when he and the victim are together, it’s awesome, they have so much fun
they know each other so well that they know exactly what the other is thinking
they finish each other’s sentences
they like the same things (no matter how weird/chessy they might be)
he has in the past gone out of his way to make sure the victim is happy
he defends the victim to other people, especially when the victim is being really flakey
the victim loves him like a brother
he can be amazingly caring and warm and completely forget about himself
he is the only person the victim feels the victim could tell absolutely anything to
Now if it sounds like these two guys are fags or really feminine, well, just think of it this way: if you’re a guy think of this guy as your best friend. You can take away all the faggy overtones if you want. And if you’re a girl, then you probably know how it can be sometimes with another girl.
But regardless of gender and sexual preference, the real issue here is the friendship. And being a fly on the wall, i really really have a hard time justifiying whether this was a good friendship or not. And i’m sure the victim has at one point or another, thought the same way too. But realizing that it really isn’t my place, or anyone’s place really, i can’t really say anything to the victim because it’s not like i really know them or know what they’ve both been through. As i said, i’m just a fly on the wall. Watching from this (world wide) web i’m so caught up in.
Makes you think right? Made me think at least.
Related
They should get it over with and fuck already.
That’ll solve matters.
#1 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — December 10, 2003 @ 9:04 am
what he said!
#2 | Comment by dammit — December 10, 2003 @ 9:05 am
I have a theory about things, that I will impart on anyone that can follow my long work day logic.
I think feelings TOWARD someone bear the same intensity whether they are positive or negative in nature. For example a husband and wife can love each other immeasurable (positive) but knowledge of an affair can make the same intense feelings negative (hate).
my point being, the bullets above are all based on the experiences being positive or negative, but the intensity is still there. And anything THAT intense is a good frienship.
As people mature, hopefully they learn to stop worrying about who is right and wrong, and learn to just move on being friends.
My best friends and I fight. We’ve even hit points where we’ve stopped talking. My two best (male) friends I both went through a period where I did not talk to them (separately) for over 2 years. Due to stupid immaturity. Yet, our friendships survived. And there’s probably not a thing I would do for either one of them.
The only time a friendship is ‘bad’ is if the friendship results in either one becoming a ‘worse’ person. Everything else is growth and experience.
#3 | Comment by smash — December 10, 2003 @ 9:09 am
You’ll only make things worse by getting involved. They will end up hating each other, at least temporarily, and then hating you for making them see that they hate each other, forever.
#4 | Comment by bligityblah — December 10, 2003 @ 9:12 am
hmmm… good points made by all…
…FOR ME TO PEWP ON!
Only the strongest man love is going to fix this twisted little wreck.
#5 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — December 10, 2003 @ 9:14 am
hehe. man love.
#6 | Comment by Justin — December 10, 2003 @ 9:15 am
Oh yeah…those two guys sound like chicks too.
#7 | Comment by bligityblah — December 10, 2003 @ 9:16 am
maybe if they beat the crap out of eachother… that will surely work
i had this huge fight with my best girl friend about two years ago and we didn’t talk eachother for like 5 months or so… we survived it anyway … now if i could just fuck with her =)
#8 | Comment by vhw — December 10, 2003 @ 11:33 am
WTF?
#9 | Comment by stacia — December 10, 2003 @ 1:31 pm
Weasel what is it with your "man love" fetish? You sick sick bastard.
Down with censorship!
#10 | Comment by bligityblah — December 10, 2003 @ 1:46 pm
I heartily endorse this idea and/or product.
#11 | Comment by zant — December 10, 2003 @ 2:25 pm