Jessica Alba

The only way they can improve on this picture is if Jessica was totally naked with only the flower petals covering her naughty bits ala American Beauty.

And even then she’d still make my penis SAD. That’s how much i don’t like Jessica Alba.

Says Jessica Alba:

SEXIEST FANTASY “Me in the Oval Office, in a suit, surrounded by male aides, smiling sweetly at the camera, knowing i rule everybody. I’m all about female empowerment”

SEXIEST MOMENT “When a man looks at you like he can’t get enough of you. When you can tell he wants to take a bite out of you because you’re so yummy. When he kisses you and you know what it feels like to be desired. When no one else matters”

BOXERS OR BUFF? “In the buff. There’s no such thing as an ideal body; that’s just sillness. It just has to be a body i want. I’ve never been into guys who work out three hours a day. It looks ridiculous, and they’re usually lacking upstairs.”

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING OR LAST THING A NIGHT? “First thing in the morning, which for me is around 11. There’s something nice about starting the day with a little loving from your man”

Shut up Jessica Alba.

15 thoughts on “Jessica Alba

  1. *sigh* i think im in love

    #1 | Comment by JERMZ — August 22, 2005 @ 3:19 pm

  2. First post!*

    (*second post)

    #2 | Comment by JustSumDude — August 22, 2005 @ 3:22 pm

  3. Alba is hot, and Justin has 16 pages of her pics, hot.

    #3 | Comment by lswalker — August 22, 2005 @ 8:15 pm

  4. Ms. Alba is a supernova of hotness. Woe to those who do not bow to her hotness.

    #4 | Comment by Dairy — August 22, 2005 @ 8:26 pm

  5. Justin faps to J. Alba with his off hand so he can pretend it isn’t really him doing it.*

    *this totally and completely happened

    #5 | Comment by AngelBaby — August 22, 2005 @ 9:46 pm

  6. Unfortunately, I can totally picture that.

    #6 | Comment by Elder Young — August 22, 2005 @ 11:52 pm

  7. She’s hot and all, but that is one lame “sexiest fantasy.” Fantasy – yes; sexy – no.

    #7 | Comment by EndlessMike — August 23, 2005 @ 12:21 am

  8. she is overstaying her i’m a hot chick visit.. you can’t JUST be a hot chick.. if you’re JUST hot.. then you HAVE to strip.. if you’re hot AND can act then you get away with no nudity.. but if your whole id is tied into being hot.. and you cannot act.. cannot even ACT HOT in movies.. then you must go away.. or create a sex tape.. something to destroy the terrible reputation of hot girl that cannot act and doesnt do nudity..

    what a waste…

    #8 | Comment by yawn — August 23, 2005 @ 2:24 am

  9. alba + no nudity = worthless

    #9 | Comment by kiko — August 23, 2005 @ 5:15 am

  10. alba + nudity = boner

    #10 | Comment by turtle — August 23, 2005 @ 8:36 am

  11. The Alba needn’t strip to use those full lips. Alba is The One.

    #11 | Comment by fubarvet — August 23, 2005 @ 9:15 am

  12. Don’t ever tell my goddess to shut up!! If you really want to stop her from talking just put something in her mouth. (ie. your sad penis)

    Jessica Alba > All Other Women

    #12 | Comment by Mel — August 23, 2005 @ 10:13 am

  13. Her hotness factor is decimated by her small brain. I’ve heard better ‘fantasies’ in the latrine at camp.

    #13 | Comment by Socially Unacceptale — August 28, 2005 @ 1:07 am

  14. i bet you have #13

    #14 | Comment by AngelBaby — August 28, 2005 @ 1:18 am

  15. ok to mr. webmaster justin

    if you did not see my other comment


    get a damn life

    you are a pedophile

    transformer porn should be illegal in america

    that shawl of lindsay lohans you bought off of ebay-thats just plain creepy and wierd as hell

    oh yeah,
    you saying that youd do ryan evans and chris reynolds if you were gay

    i believe you also said:

    You would too. Admit it you faggot.

    no. no. no.

    i believe it is you guilty of being a faggot for even posting that at 2 am on a site tagged “omg masturbatory heaven”

    by the way,

    you said about jessica alba:

    “This girl still makes my penis sad.

    I don’t know why you all like her so much. I see nothing special about her.

    PS: You are all fags.”

    then why do you keep posting about her?

    jessica alba is hot as hell. end of story.

    and i see 1 post about the goddess jessica simpson.

    you’re going to hell just for that.

    and nice pint font on your site. fag.

    titanic is not that great of a movie.


    you probly have never kissed a girl since you are so critical of the opposite sex.

    and why is my comment coming up if i need to be registered? dumbass.

    stop whacking off to pics of dakota fanning. I know you do. you sick little leprechaun.

    try smoking ganja. it’ll broaden your horizon.

    and finally and most importantly,

    get laid.


    #15 | Comment by jojo the indian circus boy — July 13, 2006 @ 2:02 pm

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