The Horrifying Truth

Alright, Gentlemen. Now that I have your attention:

I have finally found ammunition with which to back up the thing I’ve been telling you cats over and over again: sure, these women that you’re always oggling at are gorgeous young waifs with large, supple breasts and – for the sake of my own ego I’m going to assume – very tiny brains and no personality. And especially no talent. Yeah.

Anywho, I’ve been saying over and over again: YES, Avril is pretty, but she has an image consultant. We all could look like that with image consultants, personal trainers, nutritionists, ect. on our side. And really, have you ever met a woman that looked that gorgeous up close? In person? No? I’ll tell you why. Because they don’t exist. Without someone to feed them, dress them, tell them what to do, and doctor their photos, they look just like… well… someone you know.

It sucks that I can’t find a date or get laid because you all want women that look like the one above. It blows monkeys. With spoons.

The proof is in the pudding, Gentlemen of FUBAR. See what your gorgeous women look like up close.

90 thoughts on “The Horrifying Truth

  1. I’ll lay you any day of the week!! Airbrushing or not!

    The bellybutton close up was a little much for me. I’ll lay you if your belly button in more attractive than that. Oh, and the greasy face. Not so good.

    #1 | Comment by embus — September 11, 2003 @ 1:48 pm

  2. *blinks* So fucking what, dude? You’re always on about OMG AVRIL IS UGLY W/O MAKEUP OMG IT’S NOT FAIR SOME PEOPLE HAVE MAKEUP ARTISTS AND AND AND AND…STUFF! *whine whine whine*

    You’re more like a yappy little dog than a cat, for all your cutesy posturing.

    Get over it.

    #2 | Comment by thess — September 11, 2003 @ 1:54 pm

  3. nooooooooooo….i am saddened and depressed. someone comfort me with their hot dog.

    #3 | Comment by randomperson — September 11, 2003 @ 1:55 pm

  4. I still wanna hump Avril Lavigne…

    #4 | Comment by Bubba — September 11, 2003 @ 1:58 pm

  5. Thess –

    It’s obvious that your is coming from a person who has never had ANY misgivings about how they look and is always, in every way, confident about how she looks. I bet you never even get jealous of anyone.

    Seriously, after hearing, "Oh, yeah, [ insert famous chicks name here ] is so hot, I’d totally love to do her" – from people who’ve never even met her or know what she’s like – over and over again, I just get sick of it.

    And "cutesy posturing?" Please. At least I don’t try to bring myself off as some sort of bad-ass that has to attack everyone all the time. Tch. Let someone have their opinion for once.

    Guys –

    Be enlightened.

    #5 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 11, 2003 @ 2:01 pm

  6. Bitch bitch bitch, bitch bitch. Bitch bitch.
    Bitch? Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

    Bitch! Bitch bitch, bitch cat bitch bitch.

    Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitch.


    #6 | Comment by Kingolf — September 11, 2003 @ 2:04 pm

  7. While it is true that no chick is ever that hot all the time I’ve seen many women I’d consider to be 9’s or 10’s up close. Sadly they are either married to my friends or they stick me solidly in the Hitchcockian "friend zone". That being said, I’d make it with both of those pictures. As Dante said: "Insert somewhere close, preferably moist, thrust, repeat."

    #7 | Comment by bligityblah — September 11, 2003 @ 2:16 pm

  8. Do you see how you just contradicted yourself? Jesus Christ, girl, think about what you’re saying.

    First you whine and bitch about how you get soooooooooooooooooo sick of men daring to make comments about their desire for someone they’ve never met (because the only people you should ever even joke about or fantasize about fuckign are people that you know!) then you follow it with "Let someone have their opinion."

    If you were so hip on the idea of letting people have their own opinion, you wouldn’t continually harp on OMG SHE TOTALLY WEARS A LOT OF MAKEUP HOW CAN YOU THINK SHE’S CUTE OMG?! – It’s their OPINION that these women are attractive. It’s an opinion formed after doctored images are fed to them, yes, but it’s still their opinion.

    "Please" on the calling you out about your posturing? Right. I’d go find an exact quote, but I think this covers it:


    Sure, I have self-image problems. Most females do, because of how women are portrayed in the media. I personally don’t agree with magazine editors need to airbrush every picture of a woman into a paradigm of sexuality that "normal" women will never even begin to approach…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to whine about it every other time I put my fingers on a keyboard.

    Tch. Let the boys have their opinion for once.

    #8 | Comment by thess — September 11, 2003 @ 2:19 pm

  9. Yay! Here we go:

    I have never, ever said, "There is no way I will allow you to oggle these women." There are times when, in a good mood, I will join in playfully. I have never condemned anyone here for liking Avril’s looks. I have just voiced, and loudly, that I don’t like her, or the way she looks. I back up my opinion. I don’t care if any minds are changed or not: I posted this because I found something relevant to back up my end of the arguement. Bubba still wants to fuck Avril. Cool. Whatever. The boys are having their opinion.

    IF I decide today I’ll be cute and tomorrow I won’t and I’ll get into a bitch session, that’s my business. I have the right to be immature and stupid any time I want to. Frankly, I don’t see how it even has much to do with this arguement, Thess.

    I’m pretty sure you don’t like me. Every time I somehow announce my presence anywhere on FUBAR I’m constantly met with "Jesus, bitch, quit your fucking whining, we’re trying to enjoy our site here" or something. If this is about you just not liking me, let’s keep it at that, okay? I don’t go off on you every time you say something.

    #9 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 11, 2003 @ 2:33 pm

  10. This is almost as good as a drunken cat fight…is there anyway you girls can work in hair pulling and nipple slips?

    #10 | Comment by bligityblah — September 11, 2003 @ 2:35 pm

  11. Ooh, nuzzle my nose indeed. Thess gains some points back in my book for recognizing.

    Hey, you made me stop fantasizing about Avril for a good 2 minutes as well! Jolly good! I don’t know who to give credit to; Thess wrote it, but she was acting like Punkycat…

    Oh well, back to wondering what Avril’s nipples look like.

    Hmm, glad I refreshed before I commented. punky gets points for referring to me as well. Reee!!!! Alright now, everybody wins!

    Oh, and I believe Thess would say something more on the line of "Jesus H. Christ, wah wah wah, quit your bitching already." Something like that. I know for sure it would be Jesus H. Christ though…

    Good point Bligs! I give you points for making good points! What good are my points? Fuck if I know, just enjoy them while they last!

    #11 | Comment by Bubba — September 11, 2003 @ 2:41 pm

  12. I thought this site was for entertainment and the comment section was for comments… not catfights and arguments and fanboys sticking up for their preferred female personality.

    That site with the digital imaging was scary… what was more scary is how *I* and everyone else looked after they doctored our senior photos… I still dont know anyone in my yearbook 🙂


    #12 | Comment by Jimmy K — September 11, 2003 @ 2:50 pm

  13. whered you get those pics of my mom!?

    #13 | Comment by radish01001 — September 11, 2003 @ 2:53 pm

  14. Jimmy, I couldn’t agree with you more. I just have a severe problem with always wanting to have the last word. Or something.

    #14 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 11, 2003 @ 2:54 pm

  15. stop it.

    #15 | Comment by radish01001 — September 11, 2003 @ 2:59 pm

  16. Jimmy — I’m currently working on trying to turn the focus of this entire site onto ME.

    But it’s a slow process.

    Bubba still dominates. (That’s probably because he thought of the point system… I need to get me a gimmick.)

    #16 | Comment by Amy — September 11, 2003 @ 3:00 pm

  17. Holy shit, I rule, points for Amy! Enough points and I’ll let you give me naked pictures of yourself! Or not…

    #17 | Comment by Bubba — September 11, 2003 @ 3:26 pm

  18. I’d just like to say that what thefelinepunk is talking about is a two way street. Perhaps she can’t get a date, because she is "oogling" over the sort of beach-dwelling iron man with abs of steel and a butt thats like a rock? If standards are lowered to what is a "realistic" level, then I’m sure your quest for finding a date would become significantly easier. Sure, Avril has a dietician, physician, dresser, etc, but then again, so do most men in hollywood, that the women can be as guitly of drooling over then we of the women!

    Now, I can’t point the accusing finger at thefelinepunk, but I can point the finger at girls who I know, they arn’t anything beautiful, and most, moreso then others are plain, but yet they constantly bitch and whine about how they can’t find a date that is drop dead gorgous and a gym buff. There are far more plain people then there are good looking, so maybe what needs to happen is that everyone needs to start looking for someone, who may carry the odd love-handle or bodily quirk, as there are more of them, and thus more range, and better chances of getting a date.

    I’m nothing beautiful, hell I admit, I’m a fat bastard, with no real eye-pleasing characteristics, and I can’t score a date, for the same reason! Not four days ago, I was talking to a girl on the net, and from when she didn’t see my picture till when she did, her opinion and way of speaking to me totally changed, she even said: "I can see you don’t have much luck with the women, and its not because of your personality"

    Ok I’ve typed too much now, if anyone wants to argue this with me, feel free to get in contact with me… all the details are on my site. ( )

    #18 | Comment by Dom — September 11, 2003 @ 3:58 pm

  19. Dom’s got a point.

    However, I assure you I do not oggle big, burly gym-buffs. They really aren’t my type. I prefer a pale computer-nerd that likes d&d, guitars, and action figures.

    Not that I haven’t been known to oggle famous guys. I’m sure someone here will tell you about the time we women had an arguement over whether or not Brad Pitt was sexy some time back. I argued that he was. Although, I gotta say I like Brad Pitt circa "Fight Club" more than anything else. I know Brad’s got a nice body because he has a personal trainer. I also know he’s about as tall as I am (5" 4 1/2′), maybe taller, and directors use camera tricks to make him look taller.

    #19 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 11, 2003 @ 4:06 pm

  20. Haha, what is it with movie stars and being short. It must be like a prerequisitte in actor-school. I’m 6’0-6’0.5

    #20 | Comment by Dom — September 11, 2003 @ 4:27 pm

  21. Felinepunk-

    To answer your first question: Yes I have met a woman that attractive in person up close. I work with her everyday. I have never met another woman in real life that has come close to her physical good looks. She is also a rival to any of the hollywood celebrities.

    And here’s the funny thing, she has the same self image problems EVERY woman has. Exactly like Thess said.

    My point is, Thess is right. All woman need and take an edge whenever they can with makeup or whatever else does the trick. Would you prefer that the entire female population did nothing to better themselves so that YOU have more a chance with men? Should we socialize dating?

    #21 | Comment by smash — September 11, 2003 @ 5:34 pm

  22. Even if you think those pictures make the portrayed women look terrible, that is why the lights traditionally go off.

    There is no revelation here, women do the same thing.

    These are all points that were made before I got here. I am redundant and extraneous-ous.

    But, as for entertainment, with all these "con-tree-verse-iall" posts, I is enjoyin meself thoroughly.

    #22 | Comment by Seriously — September 11, 2003 @ 9:46 pm

  23. I have never, ever said, "There is no way I will allow you to oggle these women."

    But you’ve managed to bitch, whine, and turn a rather unpleasant shade of green a rather excessive amount. OH MY GOD THERE ARE WOMEN THAT MEN CONSIDER MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN SOMEONE LIKE YOU. Jesus, stop the presses. Well, it must not be that they have good bodies. It must not be that they are naturally attractive. Airbrushing can only do so much, honey; there has to be something to start with, and whether you like it or not, many of these women are still more wildly attractive than you and I will ever be.

    There are times when, in a good mood, I will join in playfully.

    How utterly gracious of you.

    I posted this because I found something relevant to back up my end of the arguement.

    You found a pretty woman made prettier through some digital editing to back up your stance that you are better than women in magazines because they wear makeup. Yes, of course.

    Admit that you’re so jealous of these women and the attention paid to them that you can barely see straight, admit that you can’t handle it, and it might be a bit more understandable.

    You have every right to pretend that you are a cute little kitten online, any time you want to, of course. How could I even begin to take away from you the one thing you you think you have going for you to get the attention you crave taking away from those YUCKY supermodels, singers, and actresses?

    Just be aware that it’s absolutely fucking retarded.

    Now go ahead, and do your little OMG YOU SUCK BCS U ARE WRONG AND I LOVE BRAD PITT post, so you can go ahead and try to get your last word in.

    #23 | Comment by thess — September 11, 2003 @ 10:05 pm

  24. Oh stop already Thess!!!

    It’s a good post, can’t you disagree without being obnoxious.
    You are doing your little rebuttal thing and it’s all logical and thought-provoking, but, why am I reading it and saying to myself

    What a bitch!

    #24 | Comment by Discommode — September 11, 2003 @ 10:13 pm

  25. Darn it – I was just about to give kudos to thess for making her point earlier and not playing this "last word" game. Ah well.

    Maybe someone can airbrush THAT out of women…

    #25 | Comment by Stink — September 11, 2003 @ 10:22 pm

  26. *giggles like a schoolgirl*

    #26 | Comment by Seriously — September 11, 2003 @ 10:26 pm

  27. There’s always shit going down around here.

    #27 | Comment by Dugas of eenodol — September 11, 2003 @ 10:49 pm

  28. Jeez… fighting, arguing, bitching, complaining… this doesn’t sound like a webpage but more like a soap opera.

    I want to say to Feline, I have seen very beautiful women on tv or a magazine and said "wow. she is hot." but it ends there. I do pretty well in real life, and have dated beautiful women by any standards, and, of course, normal ones who are not as hot as the so called "hot" ones. And to see the opposite, has anyone ever seen Cameron Diaz without makeup? Scary.

    What does it is personality, yes looks are a part of it for everybody (it is the motivation to get you over there), but, you go up and talk to someone and after about 10-15 words you size up the other half of the picture, that is where the conscious decision is to persue a relationship or say "nice to meet you" and leave it at that.

    If you all believe that looks are what stop you from beginning a relationship *ahem* dom *ahem* I’d like to remind you some people that are, or have been, married:

    Roseanne Barr
    Corky from "Life Goes On"
    Flava Flav from "Public Enemy"
    Jermaine Dupree is with Janet Jackson…
    That Ugly Country Guy who married Julia Roberts
    David Copperfield and Supermodel???

    And… Pauly Shore… a guy who looks like a muppet turned human, is a ladies man. If we live on an earth where this is possible, nobody should go around thinking they can’t find SOMEONE, its just sometimes you have to take the first step.

    Just look at Sigfried and Roy… how hard is it to find a homosexual lion tamer… and one homosexual lion tamer found another. You think its hard meeting someone??? Well, they did it, and if you can’t you may be looking in the wrong places.

    Good Luck


    Oh, and by the way, not that it’s anything to me, but the personal attacks on each other is petty. I mean, to make fun of someone because of their online name? Check your email address, or your yahoo id, have you never used anything other than your real name? Honestly. Who. Cares.

    Entertainment. Do you really need to argue on a site named "OMG Masturbatory Heaven"


    #28 | Comment by Jimmy Knuckles — September 11, 2003 @ 11:58 pm

  29. thess. as usual you’re using this site to vent the uber-bitch part of you, that you surely hide in *real life*. i’d tell you to shut up if i didn’t think it would just fuel more posts from you.

    feline. i for one get your post. you’ve made a good point. gentlemen if you don’t think you’re influenced by the bevy of airbrushed beauties you see everyday, then i think you aren’t being quite honest with yourselves. i think in more ways than one the media portrays a *perfect* image of life, and as such paints the portrait we all should strive for. consciously or more importantly subconsciously. i’m sure the more enlightend individuals here realize that most ads/commercials/music videos are manipulated to enhance reality (afterall, they are pushing product. ie, the cottage cheese being blured/airbrushed out of beyonce knowles back thighs in the "crazy" video). however, i don’t think the male populace at large does. i’m sure some of you will call me simple minded for admitting the sway i think the media holds over us. so be it. i’d call it introspective honesty.

    #29 | Comment by limpweed — September 12, 2003 @ 1:32 am

  30. Thou shall now quit bitching, both of you ladies have good points meaning Thess and "The Feline Punk" but all of my faters creations are beautiful in my eyes. Now quit fighting or I shall cast you both in to hell…

    #30 | Comment by Jesus Christ — September 12, 2003 @ 1:36 am

  31. Feline, I am totally pissed at you.

    There is no pudding discussion going on in here?!? You bring up the pudding, I hang around for a day, but where is the creamy goodness? Nowhere, I tell you. You can’t just hold a steak in front of the hungry dog and rip it away! Evil. Unadulterated brimstone-and-fire Evil.

    #31 | Comment by embus — September 12, 2003 @ 1:41 am

  32. Ah, my left ass cheek and nutty fell asleep without me. Nyahahha, fools! I’m going to put shit on their hands, then tickle their noses, and see if they sploosh the poo all over their faces! Gyahahahhaa! Eh, they just woke up. Oh well.

    I want pudding…

    #32 | Comment by Bubba — September 12, 2003 @ 1:58 am

  33. Limpweed is the zen master with the comment, but I totally didn’t want to know they airbrushed Beyonce Knowles’ thighs.

    I love Beyonce, I love her big, nasty, gelatinous ass.
    I love her Jamaican patty coloured complexion
    I love her, I love her.
    I love you Beyonce.

    uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-uh-uh-oh.
    That woman is so damn perfect!!!!

    #33 | Comment by Discommode — September 12, 2003 @ 2:06 am

  34. I kinda feel bad I kinda called Thess a bitch.

    Sorry Thess.

    #34 | Comment by Discommode — September 12, 2003 @ 2:07 am

  35. I need to mow the grass. I’m gonna do that later today. I need gas though. Two gallon can. Have to mix it with 2 cycle oil. Lawnboy’s rule.

    #35 | Comment by grud — September 12, 2003 @ 2:15 am

  36. Fucking aye Disco….you’re so pink.

    "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-uh-uh-oh.
    That woman is so damn perfect!!!!"

    That’s funny though. Hee hee.

    #36 | Comment by Bubba — September 12, 2003 @ 2:16 am

  37. I love thess.

    #37 | Comment by pottedmeat — September 12, 2003 @ 3:51 am

  38. You would.

    #38 | Comment by SecretSanta — September 12, 2003 @ 4:12 am

  39. I’ll read the comments later, I swear!

    #39 | Comment by Holy Crap — September 12, 2003 @ 4:38 am


    is another one at the same site…

    #40 | Comment by limpweed — September 12, 2003 @ 5:38 am

  41. Some days I like what’s in the comment section more than what’s on the main page.

    #41 | Comment by Mr Blonde — September 12, 2003 @ 6:51 am

  42. So Susan, how’s that T-shirt coming along?

    #42 | Comment by Seriously — September 12, 2003 @ 9:26 am

  43. eh, these comments are too long to read.

    #43 | Comment by gabdabary — September 12, 2003 @ 10:07 am

  44. Wow. that is the most writing I’ve done all year. And, before anyone says I’m looking for an argument by posting that and saying "Why argue on a page called omg masturbatory heaven" I did not post to start an argument, just to comment in the comment section… if you want an argument it will be one sided, I’m already on to the next webpage.


    #44 | Comment by Jimmy Knuckles — September 12, 2003 @ 12:02 pm

  45. Response to original article & most of the ensuing arguments –

    "Hi, I don’t care. Thanks."

    #45 | Comment by kenlaan — September 12, 2003 @ 12:10 pm

  46. Booo! I want Justin! He makes me laugh, you do not.

    #46 | Comment by WhoaMan — September 12, 2003 @ 12:11 pm

  47. Feline, although I see your point I think it’s been a little over played. Women in the media, they all seem ideal. I have looked at women in magazines/TV/movies, etc, and have thought "yeah, I’d like to look like her." The only point I see that the media provides is to a) make money, b) provide entertainment. Of course they’re airbrushed, consulted, fed by professionals and trained by exercise dogs. You know why? Because they are paid to look exceptionally good. How many average looking female actors have made it really, really big without being something extraordinary or having the rich family/media connections backing them? I can’t name more than a couple. The media has nothing to do with a great heart or morals, it’s about money, power, and beauty.

    And I still believe that only adolescents really are affected by the "ideal woman" image broadcasted by the media because they aren’t mentally strong enough to understand that they are their own person and there will be a number of people who will appreciate them for their brains and souls rather than their implants and air-brushed greasy skin.

    I personally don’t care what women in the media look like because I know they are paid to look that way by companies that want consumer money.

    You can be beautiful and fuckable without being lipoed, air-brushed and have 10 people who tell you how to look, act and sing.

    #47 | Comment by eve — September 12, 2003 @ 12:20 pm

  48. "It sucks that I can’t find a date or get laid because you all want women that look like the one above. It blows monkeys. With spoons."

    i say this with total confidence: that is not the reason why you cannot get laid or a date.

    … it’s your lack of self confidence… and i’m not just talking about your image. you seem to lack confidence and purpose with anything you present. your constant need for validation will get annoying… just like it has on this site.

    #48 | Comment by lizzie — September 12, 2003 @ 12:47 pm

  49. I honestly didn’t want it to come down to this, Thess, but I cannot and will not stand for you publicly insulting my character.

    "But you’ve managed to bitch, whine, and turn a rather unpleasant shade of green a rather excessive amount."

    If you don’t like what I have to say, then fucking ignore it. Don’t start fights with me.
    I don’t like it. God fucking damn.


    I love how you try to make me seem like some arrogant bitch, when I think it’s pretty obvious that’s the last thing I am. I am not JEALOUS, god dammit. As people like Limpweed and Eve can see, I was trying to make a point on the effect that the media plays in men’s lives. There is no way any woman – not just me – can live up to such high standards. I never said that lady was not pretty to begin with. The real statement is that she was already beautiful without the airbrushing, and yet because of those "touch ups" she seemed less beautiful. My point is that that is total bullshit, and you can’t say you don’t agree with that.

    "’There are times when, in a good mood, I will join in playfully.’

    How utterly gracious of you."

    How fucking petty. Attack my fucking character, then. Like I’m such a terrible fucking person. Gotta make everything personal. Jesus.

    "You found a pretty woman made prettier through some digital editing to back up your stance that you are better than women in magazines because they wear makeup. Yes, of course."

    And here, you go on to make it seem like somewhere, hidden deep within the post, I said I was better than that woman and that I looked prettier. IF you really think I’m that arrogant, then the best advice I can give you is that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.
    Never ONCE in all of this did I attack your character. I haven’t said, "Thess is a bad person" or anything of that nature. Is this how you defend your opinion? By attacking your opponent? You must have never been in Debate Club.

    "You have every right to pretend that you are a cute little kitten online, any time you want to, of course. How could I even begin to take away from you the one thing you you think you have going for you to get the attention you crave taking away from those YUCKY supermodels, singers, and actresses?

    Just be aware that it’s absolutely fucking retarded."

    You know what’s absolutely fucking retarded? Acting like a know-it-all drama queen. "Don’t mess with Thess, she’s a bad-ass." The reason people never argue with you is because they don’t want to deal with your crap. This kind of an arguement is total bullshit, and obviously you consider me some kind of a threat or you’d fucking ignore my ass. If you disagree with my point, use a counterpoint such as "I disagree with you because _____." Don’t fucking insult me. That’s fucking retarded.

    *waves arms* HEY EVERYONE! My name is LYNDSE. I’m a 21 year old convienience store clerk from Temperance, MI. I’m 5" 4 1/2′ tall, I have auburn, shoulder-length hair and green eyes. I’m smart and funny, I love myself, and for the most part I love the way I look. My main confidence issue is about my weight, because I weigh 250 lbs., and it’s not because of how I look, it’s because of my health. I also have made an active effort to become more healthy.

    OKAY? Are you happy? Do any of you think any less of me? If you do, piss off. If not, thanks.

    "Now go ahead, and do your little OMG YOU SUCK BCS U ARE WRONG AND I LOVE BRAD PITT post, so you can go ahead and try to get your last word in."

    I can’t even think of one time I’ve ever typed that way or acted like that, but I like how you use that kind of language to demean me and make me seem stupid. I guess you’ll go for any kind of ammo you can get. Way to be petty.

    Honestly, we should probably like eachother a lot more. Judging from the things you’ve accused me of being, you and I have an awful lot in common. If you make another pass at me and say hurtful things about me, I am going to let it slide. Obviously if the only kind of argument you can dig up is personal insults, I shouldn’t even honor it with an answer. This is rediculous.

    (how’s that for immature, insecure, stupid, and arrogant?)

    Oh, and Embus, sorry about the pudding.

    #49 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 12, 2003 @ 1:31 pm

  50. felinepunk::

    "It sucks that I can’t find a date or get laid because you all want women that look like the one above. It blows monkeys. With spoons."

    If you had left out that paragraph(?) I’d be okay with what you had to say. I understand your opinion, but any point you had hoped to make is lost with the above statement.

    I could sit here and write about how everyone is attracted to ‘pretty’, although the definition of ‘pretty’ varies from person to person. I could go on all sorts of diatribes about your post, but I won’t. Why? Because i lost my train of thought while browsing the links i found. If i still care to explain i’ll try again tomorrow.

    sorry if any of those sites have popups, you should be using a browser like Safari or Firebird so you don’t have to worry about them, yo!

    #50 | Comment by bill — September 12, 2003 @ 2:29 pm

  51. Lyndse —

    I weigh half of what you do, and I maintain this by skipping breakfast and lunch and sustaining myself on large doses of caffeine and nicotine.

    So, yeah, you’re probably healthier than I am.

    As far as self-image… that’s a whole other can of worms.

    (And I really liked what Eve said.)

    #51 | Comment by Amy — September 12, 2003 @ 2:35 pm

  52. Publicly insulting your character? This is the INTERNET. This is FUBAR, for Christ’s sake; nothing that 99% of the people on here have to say about anything means a good goddamn or should even be considered as having validity towards any real point. Including me, I have no illusions that I get anywhere or prove a point with any of this. I’ve said it before–I incite. I bitch about things. That’s all. (Granted, I don’t bitch about not having my own personal makeup artists, and try to cover it up with pseudo-feminism, but whatever.)

    Did I really take myself so seriously as all that (in regards to considering myself some sort of "badass, that is), I would have huffed off to pout about the personal attacks lobbed MY way a long time ago and never come back. (See: Meg.)

    No one here that I’ve noticed holds back on arguing with me or insulting me any more than I hold back on them, nor should they; you see something you don’t like, something that you consider stupid or wrong, and you comment on it. IT’S THE INTERNET. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. Not everyone will like you and agree with you. Sorry.

    So take your own advice, since you’re more inclined than I am to follow it, and if YOU don’t like what I have to say, then ignore it. If you can’t, if you don’t–then don’t whine at me to.

    By the way, your obesity (and I BEG you to understand that I do not say that with any intent of insult, trust me) has no part in any of this–considering the hell I’ve seen my younger sister, who is, at 15 years old, almost 220 lbs. and 5’7, go through at the hands of her peers and how hard it’s been for her to deal with it–I would shy away from using that sort of thing against or about you. Kids are fucking cruel about that shit, and I want no part of THAT. I wish you luck in your efforts to become more healthy; if you’re anything like my sister, it’s a constant struggle to not only lose any amount of weight, but after years of habit, keep it off. It’s easy to give up or cheat a little, sometimes.

    Your cat fixation is an entirely different story. (Seriously, wtf.)

    #52 | Comment by thess — September 12, 2003 @ 2:44 pm

  53. I don’t have a cat fixation!

    #53 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 12, 2003 @ 2:50 pm

  54. *grins*


    #54 | Comment by thess — September 12, 2003 @ 2:51 pm

  55. I totally do not.

    Any cat-inspired-ness is a direct result of responding to cat-inspired comments. Justin, for one, calls me "silly kitty" all the time (seriously, wtf right there…).

    #55 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 12, 2003 @ 2:53 pm

  56. nothing a little *penis* wouldn’t fix at this point… …then again, thess might not give it back.

    you know, bill is pretty much on the money. the last comment is most likely what is getting everyone pissed off. personally i just gloss over it, since I assume it is meant as a statement of frustration, rather than an argument for ugly pills for the rest of humanity.

    thess. what’s wrong with her handle. there seems to be a bevy of winners to pick from if you’re really that picky. "PacManJesus", " Dugas of eenodol", "kingolf", "umgawa", "jadefox", just to name a few, last but not least my own "limpweed" included.

    "thess" isn’t terribly interesting, funny or original. hell, its not even your real first name. yet, i wouldn’t want to know you under any other. its you, and it works. cut the girl some slack. you want to take your frustrations out
    on someone, pick on me. i won’t mind.

    #56 | Comment by limpweed — September 12, 2003 @ 3:21 pm

  57. Is it safe to say that World War 3 has ended now, or has the first battle simply ended?

    #57 | Comment by Dom — September 12, 2003 @ 3:37 pm

  58. Oh, hell. We get into these spats all the time.

    Maybe she’s my nemesis. >^-^<

    #58 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 12, 2003 @ 3:44 pm

  59. I’m afraid my vacation is going to get fucked up by the hurricane. That sucks.

    #59 | Comment by grud — September 12, 2003 @ 6:37 pm

  60. Awww…the fight went out of all the women here.

    I’ll try a last-ditch effort to rekindle some shit…

    Felinepunk – you do have a cat obsession. I remember well in the forums you introduced yourself that way when people were asking about you. You described yourself as a cat. I also remember Thess riding you there about it.

    #60 | Comment by smash — September 12, 2003 @ 6:45 pm

  61. Petty, petty shit. One girl personally attacking another on a webpage of "masturbatory heaven"

    and the guys that chime in and do the same, towards any girl, is a fucking retard.

    Yes, it is the internet, but you don’t think it could hurt? I think it is obvious someone was. Words alone can hurt, I don’t remember how many girls when I was younger were hurt by fewer than that longwinded speech.

    In two different posts in the same week there have been multiple girls fighting in the comments section… how fucking petty… I think more than a couple of you need to grow up. And to the guys that "come to the rescue" of their favorite girls by talking about her "opponent"… go out and get laid, it’s much healthier than dreaming of a girl on the internet.

    Entertainment Webpage or Childish Playground ?

    Used to be the first one, comment section quickly became the second. Petty.


    #61 | Comment by Jimmy K — September 12, 2003 @ 9:28 pm

  62. Sometimes I sit in my sad, sad little world and wish people would flame and rag on me, but I’m just so perfect and likeable that no one can think of anything.


    #62 | Comment by Serioulsy — September 12, 2003 @ 11:23 pm

  63. I like it, where’d you c/p that from?

    #63 | Comment by thess — September 13, 2003 @ 1:19 am

  64. That means a lot to me, thanks man.

    #64 | Comment by Seriously — September 13, 2003 @ 2:20 am

  65. I’m all teary eyed. That was beautiful man! **sniffle**

    #65 | Comment by grud — September 13, 2003 @ 2:29 am

  66. Thess —

    It appears to be from the latter half of The Ultimate Flame.

    #66 | Comment by Amy — September 13, 2003 @ 5:20 am

  67. What is this post about? I don’t feel like reading, somebody sum it up for me.

    #67 | Comment by pangwinking — September 13, 2003 @ 7:45 am

  68. lol – cutting and pasting insults. if that isn’t the ultimate insult in itself…

    #68 | Comment by limpweed — September 13, 2003 @ 7:45 am

  69. pang, as you can see in the picture above, it’s about a woman made entirely out of clay.

    #69 | Comment by Amy — September 13, 2003 @ 7:54 am

  70. JK –

    Find the clue bag and use it. If you knew your FUBAR history, and obviously you don’t, you wouldn’t sound so fey.

    #70 | Comment by raceman — September 13, 2003 @ 9:11 am

  71. Whats great about all of this, is no one has brought up the fact that altering images go both ways, maybe these chicks looked good before they were edited, to make them look bad so men would be shocked and then think maybe the should settle for that chick with the lazy eye, cause there are no real model quality chicks. But I know girls who look as good if not better then the "non-doctored" photos. So basically this has changed nothing for me personally.


    Now if only I could get some girl any girls attention. *tear*

    Although I think the chick with the lazy eye might have been looking my way… although I couldn’t really tell, you know… with the lazy eye.

    #71 | Comment by James — September 13, 2003 @ 11:16 am

  72. And if my theory on the pictures is right, then some fat and ugly chicks probably just played a very uber joke on the world.

    #72 | Comment by James — September 13, 2003 @ 11:19 am

  73. God damn…clay chicks, where can I get me one of those?

    #73 | Comment by pangwinking — September 13, 2003 @ 12:24 pm

  74. Seriously –

    This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After his, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel.

    The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn’t really say
    anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been "right".

    Sort of like parking in a handicap space.

    I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a high demand on you.

    You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,
    unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally a total Asswipe.

    Die slowly and rot in hell, you bastard.

    #74 | Comment by embus — September 13, 2003 @ 12:59 pm

  75. Those clay chicks are sold here in dallas for around $6k. They are freaky looking…I hear they are making dudes now too so you might be in luck pang.

    #75 | Comment by bligityblah — September 13, 2003 @ 1:00 pm


    nice voice

    #76 | Comment by beng — September 13, 2003 @ 1:18 pm

  77. you are just jealous that we aren’t shooting loads onto pictures of your face.

    wannabe slut.

    #77 | Comment by scentless — September 13, 2003 @ 1:24 pm

  78. Your name is scentless, but you surely stink.

    #78 | Comment by Seriously — September 13, 2003 @ 10:26 pm

  79. "you are just jealous that we aren’t shooting loads onto pictures of your face.

    wannabe slut."

    now isn’t THAT intelligent poetry in the making?

    #79 | Comment by eve — September 13, 2003 @ 10:48 pm

  80. This topic is no longer worthy of discussion. In fact, it’s quite boring…much like me.
    Shut up.

    #80 | Comment by radish01001 — September 14, 2003 @ 4:26 am

  81. im late in coming as usual. silly schoolwork ><. "And here's the funny thing, she has the same self image problems EVERY woman has." omg omg omg that was posted by smash. and guess what. i agree with smash. weee. i've for one have completely experienced such a situation. also like smash. i know of a gal who, i for one, find more beautiful then any other. and that's in person as well. funny thing is, is that she has the same self image problems that smash mentioned. i mean. she's an incredibly attractive person who if anything is TOO thin [not that i'd ever say that to her face. she'd probably dump me on the spot]. and as for the whole intelligence thing [and this isn't to start anything. i'm just pointing it out], i met her while taking a global politics class at columbia university. and she likes cursive [best band ever. but that's just me. liking them just happens to be a requirement of mine. lol]. so. you know. being beautiful doesn't necessarily mean a drop in intelligence and lack of personality. although i do recognize the fact that it is sometimes true. *pardon my excessive use of punctuation. i think with pauses. so i type them out*

    #81 | Comment by connect n0w — September 14, 2003 @ 5:13 am

  82. I wonder whatever happened to that guy Justin that used to post here.

    #82 | Comment by Keli — September 14, 2003 @ 6:07 am

  83. Connect n0w.

    Glad someone agreed with me, but you are freaking me out with the ‘smash’ ‘smash’ ‘smash’ all in your post.

    I don’t actually read what anyone has to say, I just scan for my name. 🙂

    #83 | Comment by smash — September 14, 2003 @ 7:58 am

  84. lol. sry. i just thought it’d amuse you since you talked about how you’re really only here to have people agree with you. lol. didn’t mean to scare you…or did i? dun dun dun. jk jk.

    #84 | Comment by connect n0w — September 14, 2003 @ 10:33 am

  85. "you are just jealous that we aren’t shooting loads onto pictures of your face.

    wannabe slut."

    You’re just upset that you have nothing better to do than jack off to internet porn. I’d call you a wannabe loser, but hey, who wants to be one. And you already are one. So nyeh.


    #85 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 14, 2003 @ 5:16 pm

  86. …jerk.

    #86 | Comment by thefelinepunk — September 14, 2003 @ 5:23 pm

  87. Internet porn is Great.

    #87 | Comment by Opfrion — September 15, 2003 @ 1:49 am

  88. I also jack off to a great game as well… say homeworld 2, when its released 2 days from now. I’m gonna be spoogin’ all over myself, my blinds, the little recycling bin they give all of us Dorm livin’ rejects, my expensive textbooks… badda boom. Guess that makes me twice the wannabe loser that scentless is… yay. Life is good. Gooey Good.

    #88 | Comment by Opfrion — September 15, 2003 @ 1:52 am

  89. This topic is so queer.
    I hope my homophobic remark helps you understand how painfully bad I need to see a new post on the goddamned site.

    #89 | Comment by radish01001 — September 15, 2003 @ 2:56 am

  90. *yawn*

    #90 | Comment by siti — September 22, 2003 @ 12:38 pm

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