Jesus is Magic!

Mmm. Sarah Silverman. I think i first noticed her in There’s Something About Mary back in ’98. Didn’t know who she was at the time but i remember seeing her in the end credits singing along to the Build Me Up Buttercup song along with the rest of the cast. I think she played one of Cameron Diaz’s friends in the movie. Small role. But she looked cute and caught my eye. Haven’t really seen her much on TV these days (not since Greg the Bunny and all that whole controversy about that chink joke she made on Conan) but it seems like she has a new show or DVD or tour or something. Jesus is Magic (trailer here). And sure enough, it’s got lots of that trademark ‘crossing the line’ humor that she’s (in)famous for. Love it.

Speaking of comediennes, i think Ellen DeGeneres is doing a show on campus (WMU) tomorrow. For free! I think. But if that’s the case, i think i might go. I don’t remember seeing anything about any entry fees or whatever when i saw the fliers a coupla days ago. The last stand up show i went to was to Janeane Garofalo’s. Before she became all super political.

Speaking of politics and crossing the line, what about that Terri Schiavo eh? And what about all those crazy Christians who’re fighting for Terri’s right to live by sending death threats to the politicians who rejected the legal appeals to keep her alive? Oh the irony. And those people that got arrested for trying to bring her water? HAHAHA. Just let her die and rest in peace! She’s freakin’ braindead! And she’s been so for 15 years! There’s no hope of her recovering! It’s time to pull the plug feeding tube on this story! Surely there must be more important news to cover. Like the Michael Jackson trial for example.

So how much longer till she bites the big one? There’s probably a betting pool for this somewhere. I say 5 more days.

52 thoughts on “Jesus is Magic!

  1. Terri Lives!

    #1 | Comment by smash — March 27, 2005 @ 10:56 am

  2. I think its so retarded that so much is being made of the Schaivo thing. They started it last year and there was a lot of buzz about it, then I thought it went away for good. Now, this incident may end up costing several people their jobs.

    Having a stake in this is political capital for sure. Leave it to the politicians… when people think there is a problem, and no one is doing anything about it – and there are voters involved – you can count on the politicians to stir up the pot.

    #2 | Comment by Wonderyak — March 27, 2005 @ 11:26 am

  3. Silverman > Garofalo > Terri Schiavo > Ellen

    Is Silverman still dating Jimmy Kimmel??

    #3 | Comment by rick — March 27, 2005 @ 12:51 pm

  4. Silverman once said she’d never date a man with a small penis, so that alienated me.

    btw Justin you go to Western? I went to Central! We’re sworn enemies!

    #4 | Comment by nerima — March 27, 2005 @ 1:43 pm

  5. I find it fascinating that last week, as their last ditch effort, one of the Schindler’s attorney’s say that Terri said “I want to live”…when in all actuality she said “Ahhhhh….wahhhhhh…”. How can that be consrtued as “I want to live”?! If she were able to speak and think clearly why do they jump to the conclusion that she wants to live? Maybe she was happy to know that they were finally letting go and she was saying “I want to die”.

    Sara h Silverman dated Jimmy Kimmel? Huh. Who knew. The last I ever read about Kimmel was that he had some weird condition that gave him really bad headaches after having an orgasm.

    #5 | Comment by puzzlehead — March 27, 2005 @ 2:18 pm

  6. The trouble is now I can see both sides of the issue.

    I still believe Ms. Schaivo should be allowed to die, but it’s pretty damn nasty to have to thirst to death.

    Physician Assisted Suicide pwns ur muthas

    #6 | Comment by Seriously — March 27, 2005 @ 4:44 pm

  7. I just saw Smash’s link.

    I am speechless, except for all the laughing I’m trying to choke down.

    I sound like: HHHHnnnhhhnnnhhhhhhh

    hhhnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhnnhhh hhhhn hhhhnnnnnhh



    #7 | Comment by Seriously — March 27, 2005 @ 4:52 pm

  8. Seriously, Justin actually linked it in his post as well. I lose at clicking his links (call it ‘experience’ of knowing better than clicking his stuff).

    Yes, Jimmy Kimmell dated Sarah Silverman (I thought they were still an item, Rick?) He also dumped Teresa Strasser (worked together on Win Ben Stein’s Money). That makes it two hot jewish women I wanna nail that Jimmy Kimmell’s soiled with his penis. The bastard.

    #8 | Comment by smash — March 27, 2005 @ 5:02 pm

  9. Sarah Silverman has always struck me as the “much too hot to be so dirty” type, but I think it’s her appeal. And ‘Jesus is Magic’ was/is her Broadway show and the trailer’s for a film they’re making off it with music videos, live footage and vignettes.

    #9 | Comment by ninbw — March 27, 2005 @ 5:12 pm

  10. There are many more important things in the world for me to care about more than the f’in braindead case. I am so sick of hearing about it.

    #10 | Comment by Ryan — March 27, 2005 @ 5:24 pm

  11. the pope is gonna die before terri… wanna bet?

    #11 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — March 27, 2005 @ 6:06 pm

  12. Justin is going to hell. 😡

    Terri is already in a living hell.

    Justin + Terri =

    #12 | Comment by Alias — March 27, 2005 @ 7:03 pm

  13. Is it bad that I laughed at the Terri live journal?

    #13 | Comment by thesuit — March 27, 2005 @ 8:19 pm

  14. oh shush. at least it’s not as bad as this terri schiavo fan fiction!

    ‘Heh, she’s certainly livelier than my wife is’, he [ Tom Delay] thought to himself bitterly. He cast his eyes over at the faintly stirring Terri, who was staring at the ceiling with those lovely dark eyes and drooling quietly to herself.

    too bad the original page is dead though.

    but then there’s always this:

    She winked as she asked for a different kind of feeding tube. Happy to oblige, my zipper made a familiar sound that made Terri’s face light up with joy. Spreading her drool liberally on my chest, I gazed upon her heaving breasts and as there was no longer a feeding tube that would hinder the removal of her shirt, it was haphazardly flung in the nearest empty chair facing us.

    I guided her hands to my beanbags of love, where her intermittent squeezing didn’t bother me too much. Laying completely on her now, I pressed her flesh balloons together where a meek gurgling of delight escaped from her lips. My cockmeat was straining against her panties now, as her back arched slightly in preperation for the Senate pigeonholing I was about to give her.

    “NnnNNUGH!” she cried out as my living will entered hers. Her shaking hands tussled my hair like Michael J Fox, the bedpan underneath quivering with our indomitable thrusts. Her breathing skipped a beat, as beads of sticky sweat appeared on brow. Deftly turning her on her back, my hands grabbed her supple sides. She could live for another couple weeks, I’d imagine.

    After what felt like many hours riding the short bus, my climax was building up like a court case. I left incriminating evidence everywhere. The verdict was in, out, in. Our passionate tryst had drawn to a close, much like the curtains. I waved a tearful goodbye as the wails reverberated throughout the white corridors.

    I needed a glass of water after that, one that would never be forgotten. I took a sip, and said goodnight one last time.

    #14 | Comment by Justin — March 27, 2005 @ 8:39 pm

  15. oh…my…god…

    #15 | Comment by ryan — March 27, 2005 @ 8:41 pm

  16. double fucking post because

    that’s f.u.b.a.r.

    #16 | Comment by ryan — March 27, 2005 @ 8:43 pm

  17. The only thing that would have made that better would have been if it started out as a Penthouse Forum letter: “I never thought this would happen to me but…”

    #17 | Comment by puzzlehead — March 27, 2005 @ 8:50 pm

  18. remember, for more crossing the line humor; wonder showzen! on mtv! tonight!

    #18 | Comment by Justin — March 27, 2005 @ 8:58 pm

  19. shit I should look up that time. I cant work this digital cable box for shit though.

    #19 | Comment by Alias — March 27, 2005 @ 9:20 pm


    Funniest comments ever. OMGROFL!

    #20 | Comment by Aunt Jemima — March 27, 2005 @ 9:31 pm

  21. Thursday evening. That sounds about right.

    #21 | Comment by RDog — March 27, 2005 @ 9:58 pm

  22. The best (worst) part of the Terry Schiavo fan fiction was when Tom Delay made the 8 year-old girl join in. Let’s just say that this was part of it, “Get your face in there or Jesus will be sad.”

    There’s also a Firefox extension so you can see Terry’s current status. There’s finally a good use for the status bar.

    #22 | Comment by Elder Young — March 27, 2005 @ 11:18 pm

  23. Accept Jesus into your life. I want a plate of spaghetti with a thousand meatballs. I will climb the meatballs into heaven.

    Its all for Jesus. Funny not funny.

    #23 | Comment by Alias — March 27, 2005 @ 11:27 pm


    #24 | Comment by Justin — March 27, 2005 @ 11:33 pm

  25. “remember, for more crossing the line humor; wonder showzen! on mtv! tonight!”~Justin

    I still can’t believe a parent let their kid pretend to eat god.

    #25 | Comment by DMB — March 28, 2005 @ 12:01 am

  26. (warning)

    dark meat is yummy!

    #26 | Comment by Justin — March 28, 2005 @ 12:11 am

  27. You get Ellen, we get Dane Cook. Sonoma State owns.

    #27 | Comment by Observant — March 28, 2005 @ 1:32 am

  28. Last year, the local college got Henry Rollins. That was badass.

    And the Terri Schiavo fan fiction thing was the most horrible/funny thing I’ve ever read.

    #28 | Comment by eyeslastglance — March 28, 2005 @ 1:48 am

  29. Well when they did tests on her, she still had partial brain function… She is just in a coma… I bet she woud never come out of it, but I dissagree why they are killing her… Because her scumbag husband wants money!

    #29 | Comment by Registeredpedophile — March 28, 2005 @ 3:02 am

  30. Yeah, she has “partial brain function,” in the sense that the brain stem is a part of the brain. She has NO higher brain function, as most of her cerebrum has been liquified, replaced by cerebrospinal fluid. She is NOT simply in a coma, she is a vegetable…a condition from which she will NEVER recover.

    One question I wish someone would pose to all these “Christians” crying that she should be allowed to “live”: She’s effectively brain dead, yet if one believes in a soul, then as long as she is kept biologically alive, her soul is trapped here on earth. It would seem to me that a true Christian, concerned with the well-being of her eternal soul, would actually argue that she be allowed to retire peacefully. as the body is only a transitory shell according to their beliefs. So what is served by artifically prolonging her stay on the earthly plane of existence?

    #30 | Comment by AngelBaby — March 28, 2005 @ 3:21 am

  31. Actually I believe the argument is something along the lines of being created in God’s image and therefore desiring to live so as not to disrespect (not the correct term but whatever) God, nor the gift of life from God.

    Not that I would really know but it sounds viable.

    #31 | Comment by Observant — March 28, 2005 @ 3:57 am

  32. Ironic as it is, I was just watching School of Rock last night.. Sarah Silverman plays Mike White (the real Ned Shneebly)’s girlfriend.

    Justin is a stalker.

    #32 | Comment by dex — March 28, 2005 @ 4:13 am

  33. actually dane cook is coming too. but not for free!

    #33 | Comment by Justin — March 28, 2005 @ 5:10 am

  34. oh and uhh….

    #34 | Comment by Justin — March 28, 2005 @ 5:18 am

  35. and come on now, even that complete nutjob the ultimate warrior wants her dead!

    #35 | Comment by Justin — March 28, 2005 @ 5:22 am

  36. I wonder what the Ultimate Warrior’s opinion is regarding steroid use in baseball.

    #36 | Comment by JustSumDude — March 28, 2005 @ 6:24 am

  37. The Ultimate Warrior was excused from the Michael Jackson jury.

    #37 | Comment by dex — March 28, 2005 @ 7:21 am

  38. Michler’s brains have been liquified for years, Angelbaby, but I don’t want anyone pulling the plug on him, yet.

    #38 | Comment by smash — March 28, 2005 @ 8:00 am

  39. At which end did they insert Michler’s plug?

    #39 | Comment by Steampunk — March 28, 2005 @ 10:23 am

  40. nengggngguh AHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAA unnnnghgn

    #40 | Comment by michler — March 28, 2005 @ 10:27 am

  41. I think Michler’s saying “French toast please” but it might also say ‘in both ends’. We need Dex to better translate.

    #41 | Comment by smash — March 28, 2005 @ 10:31 am

  42. french toast please

    #42 | Comment by dex — March 28, 2005 @ 10:35 am

  43. When they took her off life support she still lived… And she is to this minute off life suport… So she has a will to live. They are starving her to death.. And Why should she be starved to death? why kill an innocent person? If she has enough brain function to live without life suport, then maybe she can recover… Thats why the religous groups are pissed… Because they believe in mericles.

    #43 | Comment by Registeredpedophile — March 28, 2005 @ 11:17 pm

  44. she DOESN’T have brain function, Registeredpedophile. Her brain is carbon-based goop at this point in time. Her body stopped producing the chemicals necessary in the brain to engage cognitive thinking. Read up on it. An amoeba now has more ‘high level’ thinking.

    It’s shitty and it sucks and its terrible…but you have to assume she SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY and her wishes should be respected. Not to mention, if you want to talk religion, why would you leave her soul trapped in a broken lump of cellular tissue?

    (90% of my comment is paraphrasing Angelbabe’s).

    #44 | Comment by smash — March 28, 2005 @ 11:32 pm

  45. I’m going to take Angelbabe off life support.

    #45 | Comment by dex — March 29, 2005 @ 1:36 am

  46. The only tube Dex has ever had in him is “tube steak.”

    And he doesn’t like it when the fellas pull that out prematurely either… ; )

    #46 | Comment by AngelBaby — March 29, 2005 @ 3:48 am

  47. Angelbaby,

    Wanna make out?

    #47 | Comment by smash — March 29, 2005 @ 10:49 pm

  48. Oh, okay…

    #48 | Comment by AngelBaby — March 30, 2005 @ 1:37 am

  49. me first

    #49 | Comment by Justin — March 30, 2005 @ 1:41 am

  50. I’m not making out with you! WTF! Gross.

    #50 | Comment by Smash — March 30, 2005 @ 8:56 am

  51. Hey, Just wanted to give you a heads up. Terri Just Passed. I for one, am glad. Being in the medical feild. That is no way to live. That’s my take. I’d rather die than be a vegatable.

    #51 | Comment by Alejandro — March 31, 2005 @ 11:14 am

  52. I concur with Alejandro.

    #52 | Comment by AngelBaby — March 31, 2005 @ 11:37 am

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