In an effort to educate you readers, I have come up with a glossary of terms below and their corresponding definitions. This is a college level course however involving a sexually explicit nature, so anyone underage or that takes offense easily should skip straight to the comments section.
Fellatio: Latin meaning, “to suck”. More often referred to as the oral stimulation of the penis
Cunnilingus: Latin meaning, “act of licking”. More often referred to as the oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris.
Heterosexual: Relating to sexual intercourse between individuals of the opposite sex.
Homosexual: Relating to sexual intercourse between individuals of the same sex.
Lesbian: Relating to sexual intercourse between females of the same sex.
Tossing the Salad: Latin meaning, “to eat shit”. More often referred to as the oral stimulation of the rectum.
Snow Balling: Usually in a heterosexual relationship, after the female partner finishes performing fellatio on the male partner to the point of ejaculation, she will store hold his semen in her mouth. Then she will move to kiss the male partner, re-depositing the semen in his mouth. Usually this act is a surprise to the male partner.
Felching: Usually in a homosexual relationship, when the two partners are engaged in anal sex and the first partner ejaculates inside the other’s rectum. The ejaculating partner will then suck the semen back out of the other partner’s ass, I mean rectum. This process usually involves a straw to assist in the process.
Dirty Sanchez: In a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, when the two partners are engaged in anal sex and the male (giving) partner discovers left over feces on his penis. The process is when the male partner uses his penis to draw a mustache on the female (receiving, also known as bitch) partner’s face using the female partner’s feces.
Eiffel Tower (also referred to as finger cuffs): Involving two males and one female where one male is having sex with the female in a doggy style position and she if performing fellatio on the other partner. The process is when the two male partners “high five” over the top of the female. Finger cuffs reference relates to Chinese finger cuffs.
Rusty Trombone: Usually in a homosexual relationship, when one male is tossing the salad of his partner while reaching around and masturbating his partner at the same time.
Lucky Pierre: The center partner in a three way homosexual relationship in which one partner is giving, the receiver is also giving, and the third partner is only receiving.
Hot Lunch: In a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, when the female partner is lying on her back and the male partner is sitting on the females chest while she performs fellatio on him. The process is when the male partner shits, I mean defecates on the female partner’s chest.
Cold Lunch: In a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, when the male partner is intoxicated and is standing up while the female partner is on her knees or some other crouching position performing fellatio on him. The process is when the male partner pukes, I mean regurgitates on the female partner’s head.
Angry Dragon: Usually in a heterosexual relationship, after the female partner finishes performing fellatio on the male partner to the point of ejaculation. The process is when the male partner grabs the female partner by her throat, forcing her to breathe his ejaculation up and out her nose. Also works when the male partner punches the female partner in the forehead.
Pirates Treasure: In a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, when the two partners are engaged in anal sex and the male (giving) partner discovers left over feces on his penis. The process is when the male partner cries out “AAARRRGGGHHH!!!” upon his discovery.
Screwnicorn: Usually in a lesbian relationship, in which one partner straps on a false penis (dildo) to her chin in order to perform cunnilingus while using the false penis (dildo) to penetrate her partner at the same time.
Houdini: Usually in a heterosexual relationship, when the male partner is about to ejaculate while having intercourse with his partner in a doggy style position. The process is when the male partner removes his penis from the female partner’s vagina and then spits (using his mouth or a mayonnaise packet) in the middle of her back. When the female partner turns around to look at the male, he then ejaculates in her face causing surprise.
Abraham Lincoln: Usually in a heterosexual relationship, when the male partner is about to ejaculate while having intercourse with his partner in a doggy style position. The process is when the male partner punches the female in the back of her head knocking her out. He then turns the female over on her back and ejaculates on her chin. The male partner will then shave his pubic hair off and use this with his ejaculation as glue to form a false beard on the female partner.
woah. this is even better than thess talking about her roomates..could fubar possibly be greater?
#1 | Comment by diet justin — October 28, 2002 @ 1:06 am
Regarding the term "cunnilingus", I prefer to use it only on my telephone’s answering machine. I mean, it sounds like some sort of hoity-toity thing you might do at a business meeting. Actually, out here in Hollywood, you might. Anyway, the example of my answering machine is as follows:
"Hi, you’ve reached Ben Affleck. I can’t come to the phone right now, as I’m currently engaged in cunnilingus, but if you’ll leave your name and number…"
I tell ya, those telemarketers NEVER call back again.
#2 | Comment by Ben Affleck — October 28, 2002 @ 1:08 am
all I wanna know is: Who takes the time to make up names for all that stuff?
#3 | Comment by Amy — October 28, 2002 @ 1:28 am
Har har, that’s some funny shit, I mean feces.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"
#4 | Comment by Bubba — October 28, 2002 @ 2:11 am
you forgot one…
Jelly Donut: In a heterosexual or male homosexual relationship, when a male ejaculates onto his partner’s face then quickly jabbing his/her nose causing it to bleed.
#5 | Comment by the other me — October 28, 2002 @ 2:43 am
i think i saw this glossary of terms somewhere before… hmmm… refreshing though.
however, not my type of topic to share with chicks i just met… i mean,
"hi, i’m beng, so have you heard of an abraham lincoln?"
"no, what’s that?"
"well, its… etc… etc…"
*slap*
#6 | Comment by beng — October 28, 2002 @ 3:04 am
that is all the confirmation i need. you, jamlink, are one sick dude. diss me all you want. nothing can change that fact now.
#7 | Comment by john — October 28, 2002 @ 3:24 am
Jamlink-
Way to go from serial killers to dirty sanchez.
Beng-
It could be a good conversation starter that might get you some…
"Hi, I’m beng, have you heard of an abraham lincoln"
"no, what’s that?"
"I’ll show you!" …
#8 | Comment by smash — October 28, 2002 @ 4:55 am
Umm, Jamlink Dont Post ever again.
Justin you are mad if u let this idiot post again.
#9 | Comment by visentinel — October 28, 2002 @ 5:20 am
Haha, good stuff, dude. Only one grievance though…you left out the infamous Donkey Punch instead using the best elements of it when you made up the "Abraham Lincoln" :(.
#10 | Comment by willie — October 28, 2002 @ 7:15 am
hahaha, that was great…..you rock!
#11 | Comment by meg — October 28, 2002 @ 7:19 am
Heheheheheheh…enlightening, I had never before heard of the angry dragon, I must tell all my friends…but you forgot red velvet cake, tra-lala-la-laaaa…
#12 | Comment by Peter the Freshman — October 28, 2002 @ 7:59 am
This explains why my mother got so red, when i asked her wtf "cunnilingus" meant.
#13 | Comment by Kingolf — October 28, 2002 @ 8:02 am
That was … all the information I never needed to know. It makes me ill to think people do some of that stuff. Although – the majority of it was only degrading to women (oh, how very, very uncommon.) Semen and feces, the play tools of today’s modern sex relationship.
#14 | Comment by eve — October 28, 2002 @ 8:31 am
Oh, and I was surprised there wasn’t something about finger painting with women’s menstrual blood. Hmm, "Bloody Picasso?" Heh.
#15 | Comment by eve — October 28, 2002 @ 8:32 am
Jamlink….you are by far the most interesting single serving friend I have ever met 😉 On a more sane note, that was the most informative post I have read in awhile, and by far got the most laughs out of me (still receiving some odd looks from fellow students in the computer lab). Please, by all means continue posting, this is some great shit…er, feces!
#16 | Comment by J — October 28, 2002 @ 9:01 am
Bucking Bronco: Usually in a heterosexual relationship, while having intercourse with his partner in a doggy style position, when the male (giver) reaches around front and grabs female’s (receiver) tits (b00bies, breasts) while at the same time calling out a different girl,s name. Male holds on for as long as he can.
#17 | Comment by b00bies — October 28, 2002 @ 10:05 am
i just read the whole thing, eww, thats sick, I only read the first few this morning, "Hot Lunch" I thk i may vomit, thanks for the nausia….bla
#18 | Comment by meg — October 28, 2002 @ 10:15 am
Getting off by getting barfed on is sometimes referred to as a Roman Shower. Pass the feather and a showercap please.
#19 | Comment by raceman — October 28, 2002 @ 10:24 am
A slight change on the bucking bronco is the Cowboy. Cowboy: Girl is on top. Guy calls girl different name and grabs her arms pulling downward while she tries to pull away.
Bukkake: Usually a heterosexual act, originated from Japanese ‘school girl’ videos. Receiver is on knees surrounded by two or three (or more) men. Men all hand release onto face of receiver who is waiting.
Cleavland Steamer:
#20 | Comment by Bobo — October 28, 2002 @ 11:04 am
*sigh*
#21 | Comment by POOonSHOE — October 28, 2002 @ 12:35 pm
lovely…
#22 | Comment by me — October 28, 2002 @ 1:11 pm
http://www.blogwars.com/article.php?sid=72
#23 | Comment by thess — October 28, 2002 @ 2:09 pm
har. <3
#24 | Comment by suzi — October 28, 2002 @ 2:25 pm
Tony Danza!
#25 | Comment by Peter the Freshman — October 28, 2002 @ 2:36 pm
Thanks for stealing the post. You got it from http://www.getoffended.com glossary of perversion.
#26 | Comment by John — October 28, 2002 @ 4:17 pm
OMG! @ Snow Balling!
Snow Balling = the suq =O
#27 | Comment by mike — October 28, 2002 @ 5:54 pm
fuckin gross its funny nevertheless. i reckon the abraham lincoln style is hilarious
#28 | Comment by mary — October 28, 2002 @ 9:01 pm
http://theheretic.net/nocturnal (eve) is strangeinaniceway, I mean she´s wonderin about modern sex practices and invents the most disgusting one herself. nevertheless all you can ever think of has already happened somewhere. that’s the way it is and the world keeps turnin
#29 | Comment by ringpinger — October 29, 2002 @ 7:00 am