THE TRUE BOOB

13 05 2014

This post is about The True Boob.

Credit to Bobos? who posted the Lacey Shabear True Boob analysis in the comments of the last post. That True Boob writeup is truly the greatest piece of investigative journalism i have ever read.

What is The True Boob?

Our mission statement: The motivation of the boobologist is to know what they look like. If we say we love boobs, we must love the boob, not the bra. A chest covered in rigid material that shapes the shirt over top is an illusion. And just as eternal life sells religion, cleavage is the trojan horse of a deceptive bustline. Don’t be fooled, no matter how sweet its nectar may look. It’s always better to know the truth. Let’s go and discover the true boob together.

The True Boob speaks to me. Because i love boobs.

As you know, Shabear is in my top 10 of people i want to bang. Despite the conclusion of the article which pretty much says that the Shabear pics from her Maxim spread are full of push up bra/possibly photoshop LIES, Shabear still remains in my top ten regardless.

I almost feel conflicted about someday being able to see her bare boobs, like how we did with Scarlett Johansson, to ultimately be disappointed if they didn’t live up to the imagination. Oh God that would be the worst.

I’d probably still fap, but DAMN, i don’t want to be disappointed! Like, i’ve only fapped twice to the Scar Jo pics! Twice! Now that’s how you measure disappointment.

Anyhow, great analysis of Shabear boobs. Wish there were more of that.

Wait what? There’s more?!

Why yes!

It isn’t just a once off thing and there’s actually a series of these True Boob investigative pieces! Huzzah! Only 4 at the moment but i’m pretty sure there’ll be more in the future, HOPEFULLY.

So far, there’s a True Boob on Jessica Alba (EURGHHH… Angelbaby would like this though)

There’s one on Katy Perry (OH YEAH BONER)

And one on Lindsay Lohan (……)

The Lohan one is pretty depressing when you start thinking about how awesomely booby she was 10 years ago way back in 2004 (which this very website seems to be stuck in). Lohan in 2014? Man, what a waste.

That said, i still fapped to her in that stupid movie she did where she got her boobs out.

This is a pretty accurate depiction of that fap.

You can keep checking back here for more True Boobs.


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7 responses to “THE TRUE BOOB”

    13 05 2014
  • 1.  eyeH8pnutz (12:53:58) :

    Huzzah!

  • 13 05 2014
  • 2.  the block obama (23:23:18) :

    so much to say here…

    True Boobs wins in my book,

    I have a theory about breasts. The best tits in the world, are the real ones that are in your face to the touch right now at that moment. Any woman who is nice enough to let you see her tits, touch her tits, squeeze her tits, suck her tits maybe even cum on her tits, has the best tits in the world.

    Fuck it is ScarJo’s nudies were anti climactic. Id still worship every inch of her body and ask her to piss on my face just to see where it came from.

    Lindsay will always be my #1 ginger. No matter what color her hair, or what secret bra shes wearing, she still has freckles and tit meat. Period. Glorious, freckled titty meat.

  • 14 05 2014
  • 3.  Pirho (07:15:36) :

    I had a feeling Justin was gonna post after I saw the Shabear on his wall.

  • 28 05 2014
  • 4.  Mawh (23:30:45) :

    Just 3 comments… it’s so hard watching the slow occasional death gurgles from this site. I miss the old days terribly, but it also just won’t die.

  • 31 05 2014
  • 5.  cobalt (12:19:49) :

    The best tits in the world, are the real ones that are in your face to the touch right now at that moment. Any woman who is nice enough to let you see her tits, touch her tits, squeeze her tits, suck her tits maybe even cum on her tits, has the best tits in the world.

    I’ve always suspected there to be a lot of truth in this. A hot woman can have really average, or even ugly tits, and naturally a large factor in a woman’s decision to go topless is how good her tits look.

    There are some celebs who have so much to gain and so little to lose by going topless that the fact they never do is curious. I’m not saying they don’t have perfectly good personal/moral reasons for not doing so – it just makes you wonder.

  • 31 05 2014
  • 6.  the block obama (12:37:54) :

    I dont envy women and their bodies from the standpoint of “body image” and “self consciousness”. I know a woman with breasts that are amazing, when in a bra. Cleavage for days. when the bra comes off, they fall to mid torso, and when she lays down, they disappear into her arm pits. However, she does have pretty badass nipples.

  • 22 08 2014
  • 7.  philzosity (21:58:52) :

    Good posting, not sure how I never commented until NOW since I read this back when it first was put up… I have a feeling if she ever does go nude for realsies that I will not be disappointed. I was not let down by ScarJo either…they are both beautiful women and I will never let a “only 2 fap” rate my feelings xD

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