“And how would sir like his hair today?”
“Well i’ll have short on top, short at the sides… and let’s just leave it long at the back please”
“ARRRGGGHHHHH!”
The number one sin in The Hairdresser’s Commandments, the mullet is indeed the Devil’s Haircut. The preferred head snip of trailer park trash and fans of the WWE, hot rods and most species of death metal, in the real world the mullet is not only a thing of oily ghastliness, it’s stylistic suicide.
In the movies however, the mullet is the preferred cut of the bulging action hero. The rugged and dependably short hair on top JUXTAPOSED with a roguish shoulder length sprinkle SPRAYING from the back, there’s nothing more INVIGORATING than watching the mane of a mullet BILLOWING MAJESTICALLY in the wind as its owner LEGS IT down the middle of a busy AMERICAN ROAD FOR CARS. Or something.
Mullets: they’re hairy catshit.
And so, as the former Mullet King Mel Gibson made a shocking reappearance in 1998’s Lethal Weapon 4 sans mullet, favoring instead a boring and frankly unfunny crop cut, here’s fubars own personal celebration of the dumbest hair phenomenon since the pubic rat tail.
BRING ON YE MULLETS!
 Kurt Russell Escape From Mullet (1996) |  Christopher Lambert HighMullet (1986) |
 Eddie Murphy Mullet In Brooklyn (1995) |  Michael Douglas Mullet Rain (1989) |
 Kevin Costner Mulletworld (1995) |  Kevin Costner Again Robin Hood: Prince Of Mullets (1991) |
 Mel Gibson Lethal Mullet (1987) |  Jean-Claude Van Damme Hard Mullet (1996) |
 Kiefer Sutherland The Lost Mullets (1987) |  Nicholas Cage Con Mullet (1997) |
Steve Guttenberg
Don’t Tell Her It’s Mullet (1990)
You shameless, undignified oily locked straggly old rock tramp.
aren’t they having a show on tv this fall about a family w/mullets? maybe im just crazy…
#1 | Comment by liz — August 31, 2003 @ 3:03 am
Suddenly, being Danish doesn’t seem such a bad thing.
#2 | Comment by Kingolf — August 31, 2003 @ 3:06 am
So much white trash… it’s hurting my eyes. Especially the black guy. He’s the white trashiest of them all.
#3 | Comment by WhoaMan — August 31, 2003 @ 4:06 am
the show is going to be called the mullets. the world is about to end i think.
#4 | Comment by gabdabary — August 31, 2003 @ 5:04 am
didnt MacGiver (sp?) have one, u know the pussy who never settled anything with a gun always his brain?
#5 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — August 31, 2003 @ 5:06 am
Kevin costner would still look gay without his mullet.
#6 | Comment by ASL? — August 31, 2003 @ 6:02 am
This coming from Mullet-Man himself…
There is a difference from a mullet and slicked back long hair foolio; half of those aren’t even real mullets. =P
#7 | Comment by Bubba — August 31, 2003 @ 7:45 am
yeah, but the other half of them are doozies, business up front and party in the back.
#8 | Comment by gabdabary — August 31, 2003 @ 8:01 am
ASL what do you mean "would"?
#9 | Comment by bligityblah — August 31, 2003 @ 9:18 am
it’s ok bubba ray. your mullet secret is safe with me. gyahahaha.
silly man. that’s why there’s a mulletometer! some of them are merely just mulletish! and not none more mullet!
speaking of which, i saw a man with a mullet a few weeks ago. i didn’t think anybody would have that haircut in brunei. mullets are taking over the world one country at a time.
#10 | Comment by Justin — August 31, 2003 @ 9:22 am
didnt our very own justin had a mullet like a year ago???
i’ll search the archive 😉
#11 | Comment by vhw — August 31, 2003 @ 9:31 am
Yeah, Justin is Mullet-Man. He has no powers, just a mullet…
#12 | Comment by Bubba — August 31, 2003 @ 9:34 am
i did not have a mullet! don’t believe suzi’s lies!
she’s from alabama and everybody there has a mullet. poor girl. now everytime she sees a boy, she sees mullets.
"i see mullet people"
#13 | Comment by Justin — August 31, 2003 @ 9:39 am
"speaking of which, i saw a man with a mullet a few weeks ago."
Is that the last time you looked in the mirror?
#14 | Comment by Bubba — August 31, 2003 @ 9:42 am
i am going to choke you with my mullet bubba
#15 | Comment by Justin — August 31, 2003 @ 9:45 am
all these pictures are mullets. i have proof to back it up!
#16 | Comment by Justin — August 31, 2003 @ 11:11 am
show me the mullet =D
well… show us all 😉
#17 | Comment by vhw — August 31, 2003 @ 11:40 am
Justin had a mullet, but he doesn’t realize it. Just like he doesn’t realize Nickie Cage doesn’t have a mullet there; also, Christopher Lambert is nowhere close to a mullet. Justin is wrong…wrong…wrong….WRONG. Stupid l00by Mulletman doesn’t know anything!
#18 | Comment by Bubba — August 31, 2003 @ 11:57 am
what about chicks with mullets?
#19 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — August 31, 2003 @ 12:00 pm
okay shut up. it was a reverse mullet. party up front, business in the back. ahahahaha.
bubba dont make me cut a paste all the proof i had and prove you wrong over and over again on the site! you are wrong! i am right! i win!
lambert, costner, van damme and cage all had mullets in those movies!
#20 | Comment by Justin — August 31, 2003 @ 12:18 pm
lol all i can say is THAnK GOD the mullets went out of style!!!
#21 | Comment by faten — August 31, 2003 @ 12:20 pm
sorry bubba, long slick-backed hair is a mullet by default
#22 | Comment by bligityblah — August 31, 2003 @ 12:27 pm
"sorry bubba, long slick-backed hair is a mullet by default
Posted by bligityblah – 12:27pm August 31, 2003"
No! Short in front, long in back. Them’s the rules, fools. Slicked back long hair is not a mullet. "Ooh, I have a mullet! Wait…hold on….now I don’t! I just had it slicked back, hee hee hee!" Not a mullet…
#23 | Comment by Bubba — August 31, 2003 @ 12:36 pm
Mullets are out of style? When were mullets IN style?
#24 | Comment by The DeAdLy SuPeRMaN — August 31, 2003 @ 12:55 pm
Aww c’mon… mulllets rock. All those buff action stars seem to like it. Colin probably had a mullet. I mean… who wouldn’t wanna be up in those ranks… with Steve Guttenburg!?
#25 | Comment by bleh — August 31, 2003 @ 1:45 pm