True story

OMG so i was sleeping right, and i was dreaming about Ben Stiller and that wife of his who was in those Brady Bunch movies (and i think in Zoolander too. can’t remember her name but i’d like to see her naked. yup) and then i started getting this horrible horrible pain. Then i was like subconsciously thinking in my dream “omg not again”. So i wake up from my dream and stumble out of my room. The pain started getting worse so i sat down. I started breaking out into a cold sweat and i felt like i was about to pass out and die! But strangely enough, my stupid dream was still going on! So all the while, i had fucking Ben Stiller and his wife running around in my thoughts! So then i’m like, “Fuck you Ben Stiller and your wife! I’m dying here!”. The pain was getting worse so i assumed a crash position and hoped for the worse. I waited and waited and nothing. So i waited some more and i could feel my entire body sweating. I was sweating in places i didn’t even know i could even sweat in. Then it happened. “plonk plonk plonk splosh” And then it happened again a few more times after several intervals. And then the pain subsided. So then i washed my asshole, wiped it up with some TP, flushed the toilet and went back to sleep. The end.

45 thoughts on “True story

  1. THAT’S A REPOST YOU CHEAP BASTARD!

    #1 | Comment by radish01001 — March 7, 2004 @ 4:13 pm

  2. no it’s not! i cant help it that it happened again! (but this time with ben stiller and his wife)

    #2 | Comment by Justin — March 7, 2004 @ 4:17 pm

  3. Justin I think somethings wrong with your intestins!

    #3 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — March 7, 2004 @ 4:22 pm

  4. his wife’s name is Christine Taylor.

    #4 | Comment by GuyManDude — March 7, 2004 @ 4:29 pm

  5. I’m more worried about the ‘Ben Stiller and his wife’ dream. WTF?!

    #5 | Comment by Jus' Sayin' — March 7, 2004 @ 4:29 pm

  6. Justin you are one funny mofo Rick James will be honored to hang out with you anyday…..bitch =>

    #6 | Comment by Rick James — March 7, 2004 @ 4:30 pm

  7. Yeah justin stop trying to post old news about your toiletry habbits! Atleast post new news about them, gawd…

    #7 | Comment by Dom — March 7, 2004 @ 4:39 pm

  8. you have problems…too many to count

    #8 | Comment by ryan — March 7, 2004 @ 5:09 pm

  9. how can shitting feels like dying?

    #9 | Comment by dammit — March 7, 2004 @ 5:44 pm

  10. dude, you are action packed with issues

    #10 | Comment by steals from movies — March 7, 2004 @ 5:47 pm

  11. Somebody bid on this at the last second, please? I’ll love you forever…do whatever you say….I’ll suck your diiiiick! Come on, it’d be so funny…fucking gay ass Justin. Nyahahahahhahaa!

    #11 | Comment by Bubba — March 7, 2004 @ 5:56 pm

  12. I had some bowel problems last night too Justin, I must have spent at least 45 minutes on the toilet. Maybe we both ate some bad food like mad cow or stank pussy…

    #12 | Comment by Dex — March 7, 2004 @ 6:02 pm

  13. Speaking of true stories, The Sopranos 5th season is on tonight. I know what I’m doing later on. Finally, something to do on Sunday night! Usually the first episode is really good. I ve got all the seasons so far. These are must haves for guys, like Darkman, Scarface, Animal House, etc.

    #13 | Comment by Alejandro — March 7, 2004 @ 6:55 pm

  14. 1st comment.

    #14 | Comment by DarckkorioN — March 7, 2004 @ 8:46 pm

  15. O_O

    2nd comment. Nyahaha.

    #15 | Comment by thefelinepunk — March 7, 2004 @ 8:57 pm

  16. I’m Rick James BITCH!

    #16 | Comment by Monkey — March 7, 2004 @ 9:52 pm

  17. stupid bligs! stealing my bid!

    >=(

    #17 | Comment by Justin — March 7, 2004 @ 10:08 pm

  18. Hahahahhahahahahhahaha! Holy shit, Bligs is my hero. Never let go Justin…never let go…

    #18 | Comment by Bubba — March 7, 2004 @ 10:11 pm

  19. what the fuck am I going to do with a Titanic laserdisc…I’ve never even seen that stupid movie!

    #19 | Comment by bligityblah — March 7, 2004 @ 10:13 pm

  20. my heart will go on….

    #20 | Comment by Justin — March 7, 2004 @ 10:34 pm

  21. Fag.

    #21 | Comment by Dex — March 7, 2004 @ 11:00 pm

  22. justin, are you sure the "plonk plonk plonk splosh" wasn’t the sound of your balls falling down?

    just kidding 😉

    #22 | Comment by vhw — March 7, 2004 @ 11:11 pm

  23. woo hoo, 23rd comment!

    #23 | Comment by vhw — March 7, 2004 @ 11:11 pm

  24. sumbuddy is hurTING for content…

    #24 | Comment by lizzi — March 7, 2004 @ 11:19 pm

  25. my hurting provides content!

    #25 | Comment by Justin — March 7, 2004 @ 11:28 pm

  26. shes a hottie thats for sure,

    Starsky and Hutch kicks ass. go watch it

    #26 | Comment by jack_black4_prez — March 7, 2004 @ 11:30 pm

  27. Is Ben Stiller’s wife the one that was Melody on Hey Dude (Nickolodeon)? She was hot back before I even had hair on my balls!!!

    #27 | Comment by BMitt — March 8, 2004 @ 1:14 am

  28. omg BMitt, you’re totally right.

    She was the lifeguard and hell yeah she was hot back then too..

    unF unF!

    #28 | Comment by radish01001 — March 8, 2004 @ 1:48 am

  29. Not as hot or sexy as Bubba!

    #29 | Comment by Bubba's Biggest Fun — March 8, 2004 @ 1:50 am

  30. Charlie Murphy….
    I’m Rick James Bitch
    I’m Rick James Bitch, enjoy yourself

    I wish I had more hands, so could give those titties four thumbs down
    Charlie Murphy..
    Darkness everyone….
    What did the five fingers say to the face?

    enjoy…

    #30 | Comment by (b)Beer(b) — March 8, 2004 @ 11:39 am

  31. This is just too damn funny to pass up…
    Don’t ride your bike

    Click first
    Click second

    #31 | Comment by (b)Beer(b) — March 8, 2004 @ 11:59 am

  32. This post is weird……….

    #32 | Comment by Becca — March 8, 2004 @ 12:29 pm

  33. plonk plonk plonk splosh? LOL!

    what did you shit man?

    #33 | Comment by farid. — March 8, 2004 @ 12:47 pm

  34. actually it was kinda half liquidy

    i don’t really know how to put the sound into words

    #34 | Comment by Justin — March 8, 2004 @ 1:17 pm

  35. those dave chappelle clips are hilarious! i cant find the one about prince..

    "he know where he got that shirt, it damn sho wasn’t the men’s department!"

    LOL!

    #35 | Comment by dato — March 8, 2004 @ 2:30 pm

  36. I like the fact that Prince beat the shit out of them in basketball wearing a blouse. Dave Chappelle is one funny motherfucker. Anybody know if that really is Eddie Murphy’s brother?

    #36 | Comment by KB — March 8, 2004 @ 5:30 pm

  37. Of course charlie is eddie murphy’s brother. Me and darkness go back a long time, can’t you tell by their faces and their voices. I remember the days when me and charlie murphy would get high and have sex with a lot of white women. As far as the prince shit goes that mother fucker stole my shirt!!

    #37 | Comment by Rick James — March 8, 2004 @ 5:37 pm

  38. It’s really his brother…

    I don’t know this for a fact, but he talks just like Eddie, looks fucking exactly like Eddie, that’s enough to convince me.

    #38 | Comment by pangwinking — March 8, 2004 @ 5:39 pm

  39. Lovely Justin. Lovely.

    #39 | Comment by kinkiekitten — March 8, 2004 @ 5:55 pm

  40. Shit!!

    Literally!!! I wanna get a Justin Hot Karl Special. Pang swears by them!!!!

    #40 | Comment by embus — March 8, 2004 @ 9:37 pm

  41. Yes I do…

    #41 | Comment by pangwinking — March 8, 2004 @ 9:54 pm

  42. I hope a "Hot Karl" isn’t code for "gay sex"!

    #42 | Comment by bligityblah — March 8, 2004 @ 10:13 pm

  43. That maybe was "sploosh"

    #43 | Comment by justin's neighbor — March 8, 2004 @ 10:43 pm

  44. hey guys, kei is shut down, i think he might be in trouble by the message you get when you go to his page. justin got kei in trouble by bitching about caseySCAM!!! bastard!!!!!!!

    #44 | Comment by informer — March 9, 2004 @ 7:57 pm

  45. nah, that’s happened before. he probably ran out of bandwidth or something

    #45 | Comment by Dan — March 10, 2004 @ 6:56 am

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