Jessica Chobot

Jessica fucking Chobot. What a joke. I hate this girl with a passion. A BURNING passion. I cannot stand her. I can’t stand her FACE. I can’t stand her WRITING. I can’t stand her LAST NAME. What kind of a name is Chobot anyway? Eat shit Jessica CHOBOT. Eat shit and DIE!!!!!

OOOOOOHH JUST THINKING ABOUT HER MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. OMG I HATE HATE HATE JESSICA CHOBOT. I only bring her up because a) i’ve been meaning to but i couldn’t control my anger enough before to write anything more than just FUCK YOU JESSICA CHOBOT 300 times at the time b) a reader mentioned her in an AIM conversation yesterday. He didn’t even have to say her stupid name. A fucking ‘JC’ was enough to tip me off to who it was. He was like “JC ownz”. No, FUCK JC AND HER STUPID PSP. Then we got into a debate about how i think the DS is kicking the fucking PSP’s ass in Japan and about how i think Jessica Chobot is a stupid fucking ugly whore.

So who the fuck is this JESSICA CHOBOT? You know that slore that licked that PSP and somehow got famous for fucking nothing? Yeah, that’s Jessica Chobot. Who the fuck gets famous for fucking licking a fucking PSP? If i stuck a PSP up my butt and e-mailed fucking Kotaku about it would that make me famous? Bullshit! That’s what it is! I never thought much of her when i first saw her licking that stupid fucking PSP. Then she somehow got on fucking Attack of the Show and even then i still didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t until IGN interviewed her did i realize how much i should have been hating her all this time. When she fucking dissed Reggie and Nintendo the way she did in that IGN interview, that just totally set me off. Who the fuck does she think she is??? I hope Reggie fucking kicks her ass and takes her name. And i’m SO glad to know that i’m not the only one who hates the stupid cunt.

That first reader e-mail… fucking says it all. SALUTE to you Mr. Gray. Tell it like it is!!!!!!

And fuck you Jessica Chobot! You’re not even hot! Whoever fucking thinks you are is GAY!!!!!!

Dream woman my ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NINTENDO RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE JESSICA CHOBOT HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

56 thoughts on “Jessica Chobot

  1. Does it make me gay if I would hit it?

    #1 | Comment by brend0n — June 18, 2005 @ 7:52 am

  2. JESSICA CHOBOT CAN GO LICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!

    #2 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 7:57 am

  3. Chobot > She-Bear

    #3 | Comment by Nerima — June 18, 2005 @ 8:28 am

  4. You sound like a MAC fanatic. I have a DS and PSP and both are useless.

    #4 | Comment by Mr_SaMSA — June 18, 2005 @ 8:32 am

  5. What kind of girl gets famous for lickinh a PSP? Probably the same type of girl who gets famous for doing a “pepsi wiggle”.

    #5 | Comment by heineken — June 18, 2005 @ 8:42 am

  6. haha lickinh

    #6 | Comment by heineken — June 18, 2005 @ 8:42 am

  7. YEAH NINTENDO!

    #7 | Comment by dab5ph — June 18, 2005 @ 8:57 am

  8. Such anger Justin. Damn that rap music!

    #8 | Comment by Fandango — June 18, 2005 @ 9:04 am

  9. I licked a guy once.

    #9 | Comment by Observant — June 18, 2005 @ 9:07 am

  10. Are they saying she’s hot, or hot for being a gamer?

    I think that PSP thing is a total piece of crap. If Nintendo could get off their ass and put out some good games for the DS I think I would get one. But, I think I’d rather replay Half-Life 2 or KOTOR 25 times before I would play another Mario game, or a Mario game that I had already played before.

    #10 | Comment by wonderyak — June 18, 2005 @ 9:24 am

  11. JC is HOT! Hating her because she prefers the PSP and she’s getting some attention is just silly and even gay. Envy?

    #11 | Comment by kiko — June 18, 2005 @ 9:42 am

  12. Wait a minute…

    did justin just say he was going to stick a PSP up his butt?

    #12 | Comment by Ruprecht Jones — June 18, 2005 @ 9:49 am

  13. #5, a crack so obvious i even rejected using it as a joke in the post because it’s so obvious

    #12, hating her because she has no respect for nintendo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just read that first reader email in the IGN mailbag. what a dumb bitch!!!!!!!!!!!

    #7, YEAH NINTENDO!!!!!!

    #13 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 10:56 am

  14. and for the lazy, here’s that first email:

    Dear Jeff,
    As it is my daily habit to check up on the several internet sources, for my daily intake of information on all things technological, I found that your ign.com website provided me with the most fair and balanced view on the industry of video games. Today, several users of a certain internet forum directed me to this article.

    Telling me that this was a “h0t a$$ ch1ck” which promptly made me respond with a (WHOA!) off!” reply. Seeing that the article was from IGN, I knew that there would be no doubt some information that I could glean from that web page. Unfortunately I read these lines:
    “Until then, start saving for that engagement ring, because this is the woman you’re going to want to marry.” followed by a rather provoking picture of a woman scantily clad in a bikini who has no doubt past her prime of youth and vigor.

    I immediately threw the Trail Mix energy bar, which I was eating, in the trash and opened up my e-mail account knowing that the foul taste from those few lines would only be satisfied with my own right to express my complaint over this article which seems to be promoting the writer’s obvious taste in “over-the-hill” women that are no doubt harboring several infectious diseases within their (THAT). But I was surprised to find that what I saw was only the tip of the iceberg. I kept reading and found out that this “Jessica” seems to be lacking any mental fortitude to carry-on an intelligent conversation if she had ever gotten into a disfiguring car accident. With such great quotes as:

    “SquareEnix, I got to see their movie, that little movie preview thing that they have, and that was just awesome, I mean… Oh my gosh, so cool. I literally, just couldn’t talk after the thing was done. It was just so kick-ass.” (When asked about the highlights of E3)
    Though she didn’t really say much as to what see saw, she makes perfect sense to those whose vocabulary is limited to words like ‘cool’, ‘awesome’, and ‘kick-ass’. I’m guessing that the best event in her life would be described as: “Oh my gosh! So awesomely cool that it kicked ass!” But the intelligence of her comments kept plummeting: (When asked about what she tought of Reggie Fils-Aime)

    “Well, you know (NO! We don’t know that’s why we asked your opinion!), I don’t know all that much about him, because I’m not really into following Nintendo to such a degree, but, how do I put it? He was like an infomercial dude. I mean that’s kind of the feeling I got from it. ”

    Followed by another unbiased view of a gaming company:
    “Yeah, he’s an infomercial guy. I mean, don’t sell me Nintendo’s bullsh*t, because their display at—I mean I don’t know what PlayStation and Xbox [had] because I’m not cool enough to sneak into theirs—but, that little GameBoy Micro? What a piece of crap. Talk about Ikea junk. The first you say… you don’t say, “This isn’t any new technology, we just gave it a different faceplate and made it smaller.” That’s so stupid. ”

    The idiocy of those two statements is only beaten out by the next comment of the writer, “You’re passionate about this. I like it.” Whose obvious attitude is so apparent that he is no longer interested in talking and wants to have a retarded baby with Jessica. But Jessica should know better than to voice her retarded opinion because every time she opens her mouth (Y’KNOW) flies out:

    “…the whole downloading all games into the Revolution. We all know that we can mod our Xboxes and do that anyway.”

    Is IGN now supporting illegal activities? Are they recommending its readers to go against copyright infringement laws and download illegal ROMs? But the writer doesn’t seem to notice because he is still flirting with her:

    “You’re going to be a total celebrity, by the way…No, you will. Our readers will love you totally.”

    As I was reading this, I was expecting the interviewer to then ask her to meet him in his van for a few “personal celebrity photo shoots”. But I guess he didn’t realize that their interview had transformed itself into two ‘one-sided’ conversations where Jessica seems interested in bashing Nintendo yet praising it’s games while Mr. Carle is hopelessly trying to get her to sleep with him.

    The fact that she is refusing his advances made me think that she is probably the mother of some mutated 12 year old infant that she kept at the hotel, and this facade of being “cool” and knowing some stuff about games is just how she is going through her mid-life crisis in her thirties, trying to be with the cool kid crowd, buying into whatever the goons on MTV and G4 (the two main reasons I cancelled my cable service) tell her to, and at the same time getting her deformed son to love her more than his father who chose to take the Dreamcast instead of him.

    What’s this! Jessica is no longer talking about Nintendo?

    “IGN: Do you play Xbox Live at all?”

    JC: Not Live. I don’t like doing any of the live things through the systems. I prefer PC for my online stuff. The only PC stuff that I play is World of Warcraft and Guild Wars. I tried the beta for Matrix, just didn’t care for it. It wasn’t all that great.”

    Okay, so she doesn’t play Playstation Live, GameCube Live, or Xbox Live, just a couple of MMORPGs, I mean she even said it herself, “The only PC stuff that I play is World of Warcraft and Guild Wars”.

    “IGN: You play everything, huh?

    JC: I try to cover all the bases.”

    Other than the fact that Chris wants to congratulate her more in the janitor’s closet, he praised her on the fact that she is playing every single type of game, “The only PC stuff that I play is World of Warcraft and Guild Wars”, no online shooters, no online strategy games. Yet she agrees with him… After reading those lines I screamed “(OW!) This!” and promptly went to writing this message.

    And yes, I do have an “engagement ring” for Jessica, except it comes in the shape of a .45 bullet to her right temple (We’ll take that as an expression of anger and not an actual threat).

    I demand that for the sake of IGN’s and their reader’s own health you take down the Jessica Chobot article as well as DON’T post the following article where you’ll just make fools of yourselves as well. I also would like to hear an apology from Chris Carle expressing his regret over such a pathetic piece of journalism.

    I will keep watching to see if my demands are met, and if you print out the next article on your site you WILL receive another letter of complaint from me.

    – Gray

    #14 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 10:56 am

  15. I actually read the e-mail. Still I don’t understand why hate a hot chick because she dislikes and “disrespects” Nintendo. Unless Nintendo is secretly sponsoring this site.

    Btw, I was #11. How about some Chobot pics?

    #15 | Comment by kiko — June 18, 2005 @ 11:23 am

  16. hmm… I might actually like it if she licked my ass. thats not all the licking that would go on with her and I. hmm….

    #16 | Comment by brend0n — June 18, 2005 @ 11:32 am

  17. NO CHOBOT PICS EVER. I WILL NEVER POST ANY OF HER PICS ON THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #11 IS A PSP FANBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #17 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 11:33 am

  18. #14 typed too mean words :ph34r:

    #18 | Comment by thesuit — June 18, 2005 @ 11:34 am

  19. zombie belch: her last name is chobot, i thought she was a neo pet of some sort.

    if she were a neopet, i’d let her DIE!!!!!!

    #19 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 11:48 am

  20. Obvious like a fox!

    #20 | Comment by heineken — June 18, 2005 @ 12:06 pm

  21. Like a Grey Fox?

    (24)

    P.S. Nintendo is a video gaming innovator. Sony is a gaming imitator. Nintendo is quality. Sony is quantity. I’d rather own a couple of really great games than own fifty pieces of shit.

    Nintendo 4 Lyfe bitches.

    #21 | Comment by JustSumDude — June 18, 2005 @ 2:04 pm

  22. SEGA!

    #22 | Comment by Nerima — June 18, 2005 @ 3:09 pm

  23. I do have to agree with the GBMicro being shit. Nintendo is pulling an Apple, with their gayass Ipod Mini. If I wanted a screen the size of my thumb, I’d just play shitty games on a cell phone.

    #23 | Comment by ninbw — June 18, 2005 @ 3:51 pm

  24. Chobot is dirty. She has dirty fun pillows and for that she must suffer.

    Get those delicious funbags away from my PSP.

    RUINER!!!!!!!!

    #24 | Comment by Crackpot Live — June 18, 2005 @ 6:02 pm

  25. #21. it’s true! i actually own more than 50 pieces of sony shit!

    and i own about 10 or so QUALITY nintendo masterpieces!

    RECOGNIZE!!!!!!!!!!!

    #25 | Comment by Justin — June 18, 2005 @ 7:12 pm

  26. #25. holla atcha boy!!!!!

    #26 | Comment by JustSumDude — June 18, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  27. Vectrex > everything else, bitches!

    #27 | Comment by devnull — June 18, 2005 @ 10:09 pm

  28. Intellivision in the HOUSE!

    #28 | Comment by Nerima — June 19, 2005 @ 12:49 am

  29. You know, there is something quite wrong with you.

    #29 | Comment by bligityblah — June 19, 2005 @ 1:24 am

  30. I never saw that ad you are talking about. I can’t even buy a psp here yet..

    #30 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — June 19, 2005 @ 1:43 am

  31. #17 I don’t even own a PSP but I recognize Miss Chobot’s hotness. Why can’t a Nintendo fanboy love a PSP fangirl? This site will be a better place with Chobot pics bringing happiness to ours penises.

    #31 | Comment by kiko — June 19, 2005 @ 1:50 am

  32. Some letter-writer on IGN referred to Chobot as “aging.” I don’t get that.

    #32 | Comment by Nerima — June 19, 2005 @ 3:01 am

  33. I nailed Chobot last night, just like I nailed Trish.

    Justin, it was good. She did lick my ass. I liked it. I guess I am gay now.

    #33 | Comment by brend0n — June 19, 2005 @ 3:11 am

  34. #32. It’s because she looks to be in her 30s. I do not know for sure if she is in her 30s, but I’m willing to bet that she is. Old chicks that think they’re ‘hip’ are creepy. Date my mom plz!

    Only fanboys bash Nintendo. This means she’s really a boy, and that makes him a faggot like Dex.

    #34 | Comment by Bubba — June 19, 2005 @ 8:54 am

  35. Dex is a jerk.

    #35 | Comment by steampunk — June 19, 2005 @ 10:05 am

  36. She’s nasty looking. She looks like a truck-stop waitress.

    No offense to you truck-stop waitresses out there.

    #36 | Comment by Ruprecht Jones — June 19, 2005 @ 11:55 am

  37. You’re dissing my avatar! I’ve got a pic of her licking a Nintendo DS. She is hot as fuck though. And I ain’t no gay.

    #37 | Comment by sammy — June 19, 2005 @ 1:26 pm

  38. Jessica can lick my PSP any day…

    And by PSP, I mean my kitty…

    And by kitty, I mean my vagina.

    : )

    #38 | Comment by AngelBaby — June 19, 2005 @ 3:31 pm

  39. I lick PSP all the time and I’m not famous!

    Maybe my PSP is broken or something.(o_O)

    #39 | Comment by Crackpot Live — June 19, 2005 @ 3:41 pm

  40. my psp has ONE dead pixel. would sony replace it for me? NO!! because sony HATES us all and will only replace dead pixelled psps if there’s only like 13 of them. FACT!!!!!

    nintendo will replace your ds even if you only have ONE dead pixel.

    the DS has two screens and i dont even have one dead pixel! how about that! that’s quality assurance right there!

    i tried to get a replacement psp from best buy after i found that dead pixel and guess what, the replacement psp had like SEVEN dead pixels! i said fuck it. give me the one dead pixel and i’ll deal with it. fucking piss poor sony manufacturing!!!!!!!

    oh ya, i hate jessica chobot.

    #40 | Comment by Justin — June 19, 2005 @ 4:11 pm

  41. #38 makes my penis happy.

    #41 | Comment by kiko — June 19, 2005 @ 11:33 pm

  42. for more jessica chobot hate, click here!

    #42 | Comment by Justin — June 28, 2005 @ 5:41 am

  43. Hey your really gay your just pissed because u bought a ds and then the psp cam out and now u wasted your money on the ds when you could have spent it on a psp, your sooo poor lol

    #43 | Comment by Dustin — August 9, 2005 @ 4:53 am

  44. #43 is dumb.

    #44 | Comment by JessicaChobotSucks — August 9, 2005 @ 12:55 pm

  45. Not to laugh at you…well yeah actually. If the exsistence of Jessica Alba is the worst thing you have to face today, your doing pretty damn good. Why spend all this energy hating her when it’d be so much easier just to ignore her? And more importantly I wish people would stop comparing the DS and the PSP. It’s not even the same market share. The DS is more of a direct competitor to the GBA in that most younger gamers are vying for it. WHile on the other hand more older gamers are vying for the PSP. And regardless of sales, i think any moron would have to agree that the PSP’s hardware is technologically superior

    #45 | Comment by Geoff — September 25, 2005 @ 5:46 pm

  46. Geoff, thats exactly what I was thinking when I came across this post. You guys are talking about this chick like shes the anit-christ of video games or something. I mean come on people… get a life. I like my video games as much as the next guy, but some of you seem to take it a little too far. I understand your loyalty to Nintendo because I myself was introduced to video games for the first time through Nintendo; it was my first console. Since then, however, my preferences have shifted towards Sony. I just like PS games; FFVII-X, FF tactics, Socom 1,2 and 3 pretty soon, Gran Turismo, Tekken, and God of War just to name a few of the top of my head. But like most other video game heads at or above my age (20) I still remember the greatness that was and still is NES and SNES. But just because you’re loyal to one system or another doesn’t mean you shouldn’t or can’t at least respect what the others have to offer. It might not be for you but that doesn’t mean you should bash it or the people who like and/or buy it. Nintendo puts out quality products, and so does Sony and Microsoft. Let’s just leave it at that.

    p.s. Hot or not, who really gives a damn about Jessica Chobot? Is she really that important?

    #46 | Comment by LCsaint — October 8, 2005 @ 7:53 am

  47. I just like spam! I’m collocting junk email…

    #47 | Comment by hacker — December 18, 2005 @ 12:46 am

  48. You are a fucking idiot man. People like you annoy me. In fact, how can you call someone gay for thinking a WOMAN is hot? Seriously, are you retarded? Is your wheelchair needing greased up? Do you stick the little DS pensil up your ass? You’re just a fanboy. Fanboys are gayer than gay. Shut the fuck up

    #48 | Comment by G-Core — July 2, 2006 @ 8:54 pm

  49. i don’t see how anyone could possibly get that angry about jessica chobot or any other gamer personality. i mean really, she has done absolutely nothing to warrant such unadulterated hatred. christ, some of you are acting like this chick is adolf fuckin hitler. she is just an online gaming columnist. you don’t half to like her, you can even hate her, but really, to write paragraph after paragraph about how horrible she is not only unnecessary its also pathetic.
    one of you even went so far as to say that they want ign to take off her article(s) and apologize for the interview. wow, i would love to see how you react when someone who truly matters and really is fucking evil says something dumb. they’re games people. GAMES. meant to be fun not inspire witch hunts.

    #49 | Comment by sinshyft — July 24, 2006 @ 2:38 pm

  50. ^^^
    omg…chobot is a witch?

    o_O

    #50 | Comment by AngelBaby — July 24, 2006 @ 10:43 pm

  51. Justin is one sad individual…..

    #51 | Comment by bman — August 16, 2006 @ 7:32 pm

  52. when is he going to finish that sentence?

    … (PS you only use 3) means you have more to come.

    S’plain yo’self bman.

    I don’t know who Jessica Chabot is. That makes me awesome.

    #52 | Comment by Eamon Angelface — August 17, 2006 @ 4:44 pm

  53. ok first youre jealous, second shes hot, third she like nintendo she only licked a psp for the heck of it plus its not a bad portable… anyway imo it is bad but some ppl still like it so why bothering its a matter of tastes, oh and from what ive seen it apparently taste good ^^ so shes hot and thats it dont get this jealous.

    #53 | Comment by JC #1 fan ^^ — November 30, 2006 @ 10:52 pm

  54. Way to get the joke, #1 Dumbass.

    #54 | Comment by smash — December 1, 2006 @ 12:40 pm

  55. Chobot is one of the most useless human beings on the face of the earth. She makes all female gamers look bad, being that she has no brain at all.

    #55 | Comment by Gooie — December 2, 2007 @ 10:35 pm

  56. I agree with 48. You have to admit, she is hot. And liking games and anime too? That is so a turn-on.

    #56 | Comment by SawronZXZ — April 1, 2009 @ 7:17 pm

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