The story of Jenn

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I’m sure most of you know who Jenn is. And if not, well, let’s just go back in time and see how Jenn came about and impacted the world of fubar.

I first got to know Jenn when she first e-mailed one fateful day on October 1st 2002. Her e-mail caught my eye because she had just basically said that she wanted to bend me over and touch my asshole. And then fuck me.

Seriously. Look. It’s the third e-mail that i posted up in this post:

I never replied to the e-mail but as you just saw, i did post it up on the site. And as you may have read, i later found out that Jenn was actually a lesbian! How exciting!

But then. Jenn found out i posted the e-mail and she got angry because i was trying to find out things about her. =(

After that, we did not hear from Jenn again. And i became sad. So, about a month or so later, i decide to e-mail Jenn for the first time and give her access to post on the site! LOLOLOLOL. I thought it would be funny.

And so she posted…

…and she got an unprecedented 82 comments for her very first post on fubar. Which is amazing since no one has ever gotten that many comments. Not for their very first post anyway. But. The fubarbs were not pleased. And they did not like Jenn at all. But did Jenn care? Not at all! LOLOLOLOL.

And so Jenn posted once again. Pissing off the fubarbs even more.

But this time, a strange twist of fate occured. And for some reason, people did not think Jenn was real! Liek, OMG peoplez! But she IS! But yet, the people did not think so. And the people started to think that Jenn was really ME. OMG. Liek, no way dudez!!!

And then Jamlink decided to play detective and debunk the rumors of me and Jenn being one and the same.

And then, the other girls start to not like Jenn very much! Oh nos!!!

And so, Jenn did not post anymore.

And sadly, fubar was shut down temporarily from December 12th to Feb 10th due to a very lengthy server switching incident. And when it finally did come back online, i was sad to think that Jenn would probably not be posting anymore forever and ever since i figured that she had forgotten about the site after it being gone for so long.

But then liek, OMG!!! She unexpectedly posts!1!!@#%^#1&@1

  • ……. – 3:46am February 12, 2003

To which Thess responded with a post of her own shortly thereafter:

LOLOLOLOL. And so. That is the story of Jenn. So far.

Will we ever hear from her again? Nobody knows. Not even i.

Some people love her (e.g Banana). Some people secretly love her (e.g Kingolf). But most people HATE her with a burning passion hotter than the sun.

As exhibited by Eve halfway through the comments section of this post where Jenn said:

Guess who i hate.
I hate them all, surprisingly enough.
Posted by Jenn – 12:08am February 22, 2003

…in response to the poll question of “which fubar girl do you hate most” (which Jenn won by the way) which then got her into a little fight with Eve. Which didn’t really last all that long unfortunately. Oh well.

And that, is the end to my little tale. And so, i leave you all now with the last known e-mail that i have received from her.

—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: ……..
From: Jennie Burgess jennsdiaries@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Mon, Feb 24 2003 10:33:01 AM +0000 (GMT)

Hello Justin,

Congratulations on getting your site up and running again. I imagine that you realised you were never going to make it in the real world, and so needed to retreat to your little online safety haven. Anyway, whatever you need.

I’m abroad at the moment on an assignment for my magazine, so I have not had the time to waste on you recently, but nothing motivates me like a boy begging so I suppose I could squeeze you in.

Have you ever had a woman squeeze your penis as hard as she can in her fist? I’m told it’s quite and experience.

Love

Jenn
—————

56 thoughts on “The story of Jenn”

  1. Oh yes, it is quite an experience… my friend told me.

    #1 | Comment by Mart — March 3, 2003 @ 5:44 am

  2. "NO FINGERS IN THE BUTTHOLE!"

    #2 | Comment by Bubba — March 3, 2003 @ 5:47 am

  3. *sob* no more anal?

    #3 | Comment by eve — March 3, 2003 @ 7:22 am

  4. I think what Jenn wants is a stalker for her very own.

    Banana?

    #4 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 7:39 am

  5. Yay…maybe she is gone for good? Or dead?

    One can always hope…

    #5 | Comment by smash — March 3, 2003 @ 9:25 am

  6. i’d just like to say, new fubarbians females unite!

    i mean, you got your femmie, your furbie fighter and your feline.

    ffffffffantanstic.

    oh my, the lameness hurts my head.
    ::cries in the corner::

    #6 | Comment by starzie — March 3, 2003 @ 9:42 am

  7. wat happened to good old dvd tuesdays and posts about new games! *sigh* those were the days
    now all we hear about are female stalkers liking it up their rear end!

    #7 | Comment by luke — March 3, 2003 @ 9:48 am

  8. god ur devoted to this site justin i mean who wakes up bfore 5am in the morning to post!

    #8 | Comment by luke — March 3, 2003 @ 9:59 am

  9. Justin went and said :
    "Okay both their names start with the letter L. That’s all for now."

    I’m not seeing the "L" in Cici.

    #9 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 10:27 am

  10. She’ll be back…they always come back…

    #10 | Comment by Bryan — March 3, 2003 @ 11:35 am

  11. I agree with Luke. I mean, Jusitn is the reason I got obsessed with DVD’s in the first place! I think he should do a DVD/Kiki post, if only for ol’ time’s sake. And what about the new movie releases? I NEED JUSTIN REVIEWS, DAMMIT!

    #11 | Comment by Lucy — March 3, 2003 @ 12:15 pm

  12. Junto cantamos Serenatas, Tu con guitara y yo maracas, como cuando teniamos Diez y Seis… como cuando teniamos diz y seis

    Ive been reading through the archives a bit and I noticed that he hasnt mentioned Kirsten Dunst in quite a while… could it be that he has forgotten her?

    And yes, this is the exiled Guizhang (Not that anyone care) and I am a hypocrite and half baked anyways so why shouldnt someone ban me and end my suffering…

    And Thess, you rule….

    #12 | Comment by Guizhang (Or Celius_Quin... whatever) — March 3, 2003 @ 1:17 pm

  13. God that was alot of typos…

    #13 | Comment by Guizhang — March 3, 2003 @ 1:18 pm

  14. Someone should hate Guizhang, if only to affirm his constant expectation of it.

    #14 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 1:38 pm

  15. Dont worry Pete, itll show its true colors VERY soon…

    #15 | Comment by Guizhang — March 3, 2003 @ 1:42 pm

  16. I’m not a blue baby.

    Honest.

    #16 | Comment by Kingolf — March 3, 2003 @ 1:58 pm

  17. and i am not the tick.
    anyway, i could use some advice on dvds, so get on your horse justin and write about some.
    or you could just post whatever you want and we’d read it anyway

    #17 | Comment by gabdabary — March 3, 2003 @ 2:07 pm

  18. i suppose i should have said that i don’t have silver b00bs since i use the tick over at OD and not on these boards. me idiot.

    #18 | Comment by gabdabary — March 3, 2003 @ 2:09 pm

  19. This is the end. I can’t take it anymore – all the estrogen on this site is too much to handle for me at this point (Yes, and that’s just you alone Justin).

    I will miss Thess. Who wouldn’t miss the cunning and intellectually stimulating commentary of a waitress?

    In second thought, I won’t miss a thing. Buh-bye.

    #19 | Comment by JesusChrist — March 3, 2003 @ 2:27 pm

  20. Buh-bye.

    #20 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 2:31 pm

  21. "…nothing motivates me like a boy begging…"

    Uh, hello, what have I been doing for the past five months!? Stalking is a two-way street, ya know…

    #21 | Comment by Banana — March 3, 2003 @ 2:48 pm

  22. para bailar la bamba se necesita una poca de gracia guizhang

    #22 | Comment by Justin — March 3, 2003 @ 4:24 pm

  23. now you have done it. do not talk to me anymore.

    you are such a liar.

    #23 | Comment by Susan — March 3, 2003 @ 4:42 pm

  24. Vas?

    #24 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 5:42 pm

  25. Hvad fanden i helvede?

    #25 | Comment by Kingolf — March 3, 2003 @ 5:50 pm

  26. BAH. I WAS KIDDING. BUT NEVERMIND BECAUSE YOU TOOK ME OFF YOUR BUDDYLIST SO I WILL NOT EXPLAIN.

    #26 | Comment by Susan — March 3, 2003 @ 6:24 pm

  27. Oh wow, I wish Jennagain had my e-mail address, cause then…

    …I wouldn’t do anything.

    #27 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 6:30 pm

  28. STOPFIGHTINGORIWILLKILLBOTHOFYOUWITHMYTOENAILS

    #28 | Comment by thess — March 3, 2003 @ 6:44 pm

  29. susan you dork. you scared me. ok i added you back. dont do that again!!

    #29 | Comment by Justin — March 3, 2003 @ 6:44 pm

  30. Hmm.

    Now I will wonder whether Jennagain is fake or one of the new posters is Evil.

    Curses.

    #30 | Comment by Seriously — March 3, 2003 @ 6:47 pm

  31. Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
    Que tu cuerpo es pa’ darle alegria y cosa buena
    Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
    Hey Macarena
    Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
    Que se llama de apellido Vitorino,
    Que en la jura de bandera el muchacho
    Se metio con dos amigos
    Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
    Que se llama de apellido Vitorino,
    Y en la jura de bandera el muchacho
    Se metio con dos amigos

    Does anyone like "Los Ketchup"? …

    #31 | Comment by Guizhang — March 3, 2003 @ 7:01 pm

  32. aserejé ja deje dejebe tu dejebe deseri iowa a mavy an de bugui an de güidibidi

    #32 | Comment by Justin — March 3, 2003 @ 7:08 pm

  33. Ahh… you dont know how much I hate that punishment of God of a song…

    Thats just the… strange language part of the song… the rest goes:

    Mira lo que se avecina
    a la vuelta de la esquina,
    viene Diego rumbeando.
    Con la luna en las pupilas
    y en su traje agua marina
    van restos de contrabando.

    Y donde màs no cabe un alma
    all” se mete a darse caña
    poseido por el ritmo ragatanga
    y el dijey que lo conoce
    toca el himno de las doce
    para Diego la canciòn màs deseada.
    Y la baila… y la goza … y la canta

    The stupidist lyrics ever written… in Latin America it caused a bit of controversy because when played backwards it says: Me gusta el Marijuana (I like marijuana)… Spanish whores….

    #33 | Comment by Guizhang — March 3, 2003 @ 7:40 pm

  34. What’s wrong with marijuana??? 🙂

    #34 | Comment by Bryan — March 3, 2003 @ 10:28 pm

  35. Oh no, dont get me wrong, marijuana is groovy, just it caused a bit of a stir with the right conservative media.

    #35 | Comment by Guizhang — March 3, 2003 @ 10:48 pm

  36. wow. i gotta try that one out.

    #36 | Comment by bean — March 4, 2003 @ 2:12 am

  37. Justin. Don’t be a dumbass. I was nice enough to post in the non-current to get your attention.

    You really want to play this game?

    #37 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:39 am

  38. you dont be a dumbass first

    #38 | Comment by Justin — March 4, 2003 @ 4:41 am

  39. FOR ME TO BETTER PEWP ON YOU!

    #39 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:42 am

  40. FOR ME TO BETTER PEWP ON YOU!

    #40 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:43 am

  41. hahahaha !!!

    #41 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:44 am

  42. hahahaha !!!

    #42 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:45 am

  43. I’ve been very nice to you justin…

    I think I’ve made my point. I would ask you nicely to unbann the IP’s. I thank you in advance.

    #43 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:48 am

  44. I’ve been very nice to you justin…

    I think I’ve made my point. I would ask you nicely to unbann the IP’s. I thank you in advance.

    #44 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 4:48 am

  45. i dont see how spamming the comments is ‘very nice’. dumbass.

    #45 | Comment by Justin — March 4, 2003 @ 4:50 am

  46. Well, I think it is rather nice, since I can easily script this and have a bot spam your comments dynamically for the rest of my life. I’m sure you know that wouldn’t be too hard to write.

    See. All depends on your point of view. Wouldn’t it be just nicer if we got along?

    #46 | Comment by PrettyBoyFloyd — March 4, 2003 @ 5:00 am

  47. *yawn*

    #47 | Comment by Justin — March 4, 2003 @ 5:02 am

  48. Aww, no more comments. Looks like you have yet another stalker Justin, how do you do it?

    #48 | Comment by Bubba — March 4, 2003 @ 5:13 am

  49. i guess i’m just that gosh darn sexy.

    #49 | Comment by Justin — March 4, 2003 @ 5:16 am

  50. I wonder what magazine would hire a penis squeezing, beastiality writing, dildo using, Justin hating (or loving), anus playing, lesbian/dominatrix? Highlights? Better Homes? Reader’s Digest?

    #50 | Comment by grud — March 4, 2003 @ 5:22 am

  51. I would think she would work for Fox News.

    #51 | Comment by Seriously — March 4, 2003 @ 6:57 am

  52. Ahhh, ok gotcha :).

    *lights bowl*

    #52 | Comment by Bryan — March 4, 2003 @ 12:05 pm

  53. dude, that chick wants your pee pee bad…

    (in a good way)

    #53 | Comment by Chris — March 4, 2003 @ 12:14 pm

  54. I just realized that she made her first appearance on my birthday October 1. That sure is weird. Dontcha think?

    #54 | Comment by Annubius — March 4, 2003 @ 8:03 pm

  55. Nope.

    #55 | Comment by Kingolf — March 7, 2003 @ 5:26 am

  56. Justin – First time poster, long time wanker…Bar none, the best site on the web. Keep up the good work laddy.

    #56 | Comment by BigDaddyGraham — June 8, 2004 @ 11:51 pm

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