Wow…it must be nice to be a newly-single gal and have professional partygirl whore Paris Hilton take you back out onto the playing field. Who is that Borat impersonator working the door at the club?

Apparently, Professor Hilton even gives her new pupil some handy fashion tips…

So is commando the hot new look for celebrity white-trash mothers? Where are the rugrats while Mommy is out getting her drink on?

I feel sorry for the family court judge who has to decide which parent gets custody of those kids…

Happy 28th Birthday, Miss Heiglicious!

Grey’s Anatomy is still one of the best shows on TV.

FUN FACT: Katherine replaced Anne Hathaway in this movie.

BOOBIES???? TITS???? MAUMFLAUMBAS???? FUN BAGS???? MOUNDS OF JOY???? SOFT PILLOWS OF FLESH????? NAPPERS????? MILK BAGS???? THE DAIRY QUEEN???? OOOOGLAS????? CLEAVAGE ENDS????? THE TWINS????? RACKS????? THE REASONS ALL MEN WAKE UP IN THE MORNING????? JOY BUZZERS????? SOFT BAKED COOKIES????? RINGWAS???? ALLAKANOOZERS?????? STAY PUFT MARSHMELLOWS????? SOFT LANDING PADS??????? PUSSY’S PRIVATE MOUNTAIN RANGE?????

…..and thus, boobs?

Some promo shots of Leah from season nine of The King of Queens. Mmmm.

She’s my favorite TV wife. Next to Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond. HOTTIES. Both of them.

Anybody seen those two VH1 specials about Leah from a coupla years back? The one where she was about to get married and the one where she was pregnant about to give birth? She is SO spunky in real life. It’s hot. I like it. And i’d hit it. Even if she is a Scientologist.

Happy Milfday, Justin! ^_^

Had these kinda lying around the hard drive…now seemed like a good time to post them.

ps. Don’t let “the girlfriend” catch you fappin’ to the oldies.

I bought her new album last week. Popped the CD in the car and totally loved the second track. I mean, with lyrics like these, what’s not to love! I think i got a boner just listening to it.

I love how you do me like that (Come on)
A week is so long
I don’t know how to act
Promise me when I see you
You do me like that (Do me like that)

UPDATE: I actually posted the wrong lyrics. The one’s above are from track six (Like That). Here’s an excerpt from track two (Way you do me):

Boy the way ya do me
Boy the way ya do me
Why ya gotta be so good when ya give it to me?
I been trying to think of ways to tell ya no
But at the same time I’m thinkin I’d be crazy to let ya go

Jojo so horny!

There’s also a track that’s called “How to touch a girl”.

It’s not as dirty as it sounds though.

My girlfriend happens to think track number 2 is disgusting and she called me a pedo for liking it so much.

I don’t care. I still love Jojo.

Now. If i hadn’t had already known it was her, i probably wouldn’t have known that it WAS her. She just looks so fucking different. It’s like she’s a whole other person now!

I do not like this new Ashlee Simpson. I would rather do the old version of herself, big nose and big chin and all, if only for the added novelty value. This new Ashlee does nothing at all for me.

DOWNGRADE.

Now, if my math is correct…

I’m officially 4 years and a day older than Scarlett Johansson today.

And probably like 16 years older than Jojo.

And 34 years younger than Susan Sarandon.

Conclusion: I would still do them all regardless of age!

Happy 22nd Birthday, Scarlett!

Looking forward to seeing her in this in the near future.

^_^

Remember that Dustin Diamond sextape story?

Well here’s the DVD cover.

Dustin “Dirty Sanchez” Diamond…? Wha..?

From Wikipedia:

Dirty Sánchez is a term used to describe the sexual practice of smearing fecal matter under the nose of the receptive partner following anal sex. This act can be seen in the 2006 sex tape Screeched as performed by Dustin Diamond of Saved by the Bell fame.

Oh. I see.

By the way, that ‘scratch and sniff’ thing: Scary.

Continue reading →