B-b-b-bbb-booooootaaaayyyy

That’s Michelle Trachtenberg if you couldn’t tell.

I still think she’s ugly though.

Anyway, here’re some Jessica Alba pics from a recent photoshoot she just did.

She’s definitely been getting quite a lot of more buzz and exposure these days as a result of being in Sin City and the upcoming Fantastic Four flick. By the way, that’s a direct link to the hidden trailer that’s on the Fantastic Four site. You’d normally have to wait for the flash intro to be done to get to the screen with the floating character names where you’d then have to hit F4 on your keyboard (get it? F4. Ha!) which would take you to the VON DOOM ARCHIVES! (where the trailer is stored away)

They’ve only got the ShoWest trailer on there for now but i’m assuming it’ll be updated with more goodies as time goes on. So you might wanna check that Von Doom archive thing every now and then.

Flame on!

Samara; Samaire

Oh yeah i forgot about these Samaire Armstrong pics that i uploaded a coupla days ago. I have no idea who she is but apprently she’s on The O.C or something? I dunno. I don’t watch that show.

Her name kinda sounds like Samara from the Ring movies no?

Anyhow, not much else to report. Just posting in between classes in the computer lab right now. Actually i should probably be doing some last minute studying. I have an exam coming up later. So yeah…

Seacrest… out!

Babes of Sin City

Except for Devon Aoki. Not a babe. She’s fucking ugly.

Carla Gugino > All

Can’t wait for this movie to come out. Mostly because i hear Carla Gugino’s practically topless in every single shot she’s in. Now that’s dedication.

Q: Jessica, your character was topless in the comic book. Why did you want to play the character and why wouldn’t you do it topless?

Jessica: She was bottomless too. […] I looked at the graphic novel and I saw all the pictures. I then found out she was a stripper and was bottomless and topless and, nudity was an option. We could have done it if we wanted to, I just felt too…

Q: Was it really an option?

Jessica: It absolutely was an option. Robert said that we could do it if we wanted to and obviously it would have been more authentic. But I felt like dancing around with a lasso and chaps was gonna be sexy enough. I think being nude, for me, would have been distracting and I really couldn’t be bottomless for my dad. He would really, I don’t know, he would disown me. He would freak out.

Boo. Not that i would get off from seeing her naked, but boo nonetheless.

Here are some pics from the premiere. Oh and hey, Alexa Vega was there too.

By the way, i left out Brittany Murphy because i hate that whore. I hate Brittany murphy’s stupid ugly crooked eyesockets. I also hate that every picture taken of her has her head tilting to one side or, hair covering her lower eye so people can’t notice. Sorry you ugly dope, i notice.

Mermaids!

Well ain’t that a bitch. The fucking download stopped at 94.7% and it’s not moving anymore. Hasn’t been for the past 24+ hours. Stupid fuckers stopped seeding the torrent. Might as well fucking delete it now. And i was so looking forward to watching it too.

So if you’ve been keeping up with the latest movie news, you’ll know that M. Night Shamalamadingdong has a new movie in the works. The Lady in the Water. About an apartment building superintendant who finds a rare type of sea nymph in the pool.

Sounds to me like a mermaid!

I like mermaids.

You know, Splash really pissed me off as a kid. I remember going frame by frame on VHS trying to find that elusive Daryl Hannah nip slip. It wasn’t until years later did i find out that she put flesh colored tape on her tits to hide them. And to think i wasted all that time slow motioning and frame by framing that damn movie. On VHS nonetheless. I blame the PG rating for the titty tape. CURSE YOU PG RATING.

Speaking of which, how in the hell did that movie get a PG rating? Titty tape notwithstanding, there was still bare boobs in that movie.

So anyway yeah, that movie i was downloading. It’s called Mermaid in a Manhole.

The story concerns a painter whose wife has recently left him. He devotes all his time and attention to his art, venturing into the sewers beneath his house in search of inspiration for his paintings, which all depict scenes of decay and disease. Once this sewer was a river, where the painter played as a child and where he once believed to have seen a mermaid. On one of his treks he realises his beliefs were right when he finds the mermaid, trapped in the stinking sewer. When the river ran dry, she explains, she was unable to get back to sea and hid in the sewer system. Her skin badly infected by waste and pollution after years of living in the sewer, she begs the painter to help her. He decides to take her to his house, where he puts her in his bathtub and proceeds to paint her.

Her condition worsens and after a while festering sores start erupting all over her body. Though both of them know death is inevitable, the mermaid asks the artist to document her decay in his painting. This he does and the bond between the two grows stronger as her situation deteriorates. When the sores increase, he adjusts his portrait accordingly, even when the infection turns into a grotesque mutation that covers her entire body. When he fails to find the right paint to truthfully depict the colours of her infections, she tells him to slice open the boils with a razor blade and use the abundantly flowing puss instead.

It’s a shame i’ll never get to watch it.

Jesus is Magic!

Mmm. Sarah Silverman. I think i first noticed her in There’s Something About Mary back in ’98. Didn’t know who she was at the time but i remember seeing her in the end credits singing along to the Build Me Up Buttercup song along with the rest of the cast. I think she played one of Cameron Diaz’s friends in the movie. Small role. But she looked cute and caught my eye. Haven’t really seen her much on TV these days (not since Greg the Bunny and all that whole controversy about that chink joke she made on Conan) but it seems like she has a new show or DVD or tour or something. Jesus is Magic (trailer here). And sure enough, it’s got lots of that trademark ‘crossing the line’ humor that she’s (in)famous for. Love it.

Speaking of comediennes, i think Ellen DeGeneres is doing a show on campus (WMU) tomorrow. For free! I think. But if that’s the case, i think i might go. I don’t remember seeing anything about any entry fees or whatever when i saw the fliers a coupla days ago. The last stand up show i went to was to Janeane Garofalo’s. Before she became all super political.

Speaking of politics and crossing the line, what about that Terri Schiavo eh? And what about all those crazy Christians who’re fighting for Terri’s right to live by sending death threats to the politicians who rejected the legal appeals to keep her alive? Oh the irony. And those people that got arrested for trying to bring her water? HAHAHA. Just let her die and rest in peace! She’s freakin’ braindead! And she’s been so for 15 years! There’s no hope of her recovering! It’s time to pull the plug feeding tube on this story! Surely there must be more important news to cover. Like the Michael Jackson trial for example.

So how much longer till she bites the big one? There’s probably a betting pool for this somewhere. I say 5 more days.

Rings/D.E.B.S

Just got done watching Rings. No, not Ring Two. Rings. It’s a 16 minute short that takes place between the first Ring and the second one (i’m assuming). I still haven’t seen The Ring Two yet though. Maybe later tonight.

Anyhow, this girl…

…is so hot. Alex Breckenridge. 15 May 1982. She’s in the Rings short.

And just like Mary Elizabeth Windstead (who has a small role in Ring Two), she’s relatively unknown. Coincidently, the guy who plays the lead role in Rings, is going to be playing the other lead role (alongside Mary) in the third Final Destination movie.

Alex kinda reminds me of Elisha Cuthbert a little. Maybe just in the chin.

So i was googling Alex on the net and i was surprised to see that she has D.E.B.S listed in her filmography. Never heard of D.E.B.S? I was actually going to post about D.E.B.S a coupla months ago after seeing the trailer. Because it looks like a piece of shit and i really can’t believe how this crap got greenlighted. God i hope this flick bombs. Even in its limited release.

Anyhow, i saw Alex’s name linked to D.E.B.S. And i though… “Hmm.. Maybe i’ll give this flick a chance. Just so i can see Alex in it”. Kinda like how i gave Ice Princess a chance just to be able to see Hayden Panettiere (bad idea because she’s barely in it and it has too much Michelle Trachtenberg which made me want to gouge out my eyes because she’s just so incredibly fucking ugly to me).

As it turns out, Alex ISN’T in D.E.B.S. At least not the D.E.B.S that just came out today. She was in the original 11 minute D.E.B.S short (which came out in 2003) that the new D.E.B.S is based on. So no Alex Breckenridge in the new D.E.B.S. Which is a shame because there’s no way i’m watching this new D.E.B.S now. And if i do, it’s only to see how bad it is.

Primary reason i don’t want to watch it? Devon Aoki. Quite possibly the only other girl that’s even uglier than Michelle Trachtenberg. Not even Jordana Brewster can make me watch D.E.B.S (the other hottie who’s not Michelle Rodriguez from the first Fast and the Furious flick that’s also in D.E.B.S). Now if it actually had Alex in it, then yeah, i’ll definitely watch it (even if it sucks ala Ice Princess; even it has Devon Aoki in it ala Michelle Trachtenberg in Ice Princess).

Okay so maybe D.E.B.S won’t be that bad. A guilty pleasure at best. But Devon Aoki…? My God what a dealbreaker.