Well, I’ve got good news and bad news.

GOOD NEWS:

Nat and Scarlett play sisters vying for the attention of King Henry VIII of England. But don’t get your hopes up for any boudoir scenes from Miss Portman…

BAD NEWS:

Natalie Portman insists she’ll never bare all on the big screen again after regretting a saucy scene in new short film Hotel Chevalier. The shots of the actress baring all in the film hit the internet earlier this year – months before the movie hit festivals in September. And Portman admits she’s rather upset about agreeing to do something she felt awkward about in the Wes Anderson-directed prelude to The Darjeeling Limited. She says, “I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to my intuition. From now on, I’m going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no.”

To ease the pain of this announcement, I figured I’d post some pics of Natalie that somehow never landed on fubar.

Someone mentioned in one of the comments recently that there needed to be less clothes, more boobs. Well, when I hear boobs, I think of the Queen of Great Breasts, Her Royal Highness, Miss Keeley Hazell.

Her new 2008 calendar was recently exposed to the intarwebs, and watching the months go by probably doesn’t get much better than this…

Oh, and I missed making a post for her birthday in September, but Keeley just turned 21.

Wowsers…

Teh Block sure was looking curvy last week in a slinky black dress at something called the Spirit of Life awards in Hollywood. She’s certainly working the “boobs pushed up under the chin” look. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

The girl with Hilary in the last two pics is none other than little Miley Cyrus. Aww…she’s all dressed up.

^_^

Season 7 of Smallville starts today…yay!

And just in time to help develop a little hype for the show, two of its female stars hit the lad mags for some hawt photoshoot action.

Erica Durance plays Lois Lane, and she’s in the October issue of Maxim.

Laura Vandervoort plays Kara Zor-El (better known as Supergirl) and she’s in the October issue of Stuff.

What the hell is Kristin Kreuk doing?

As usual, I didn’t watch these awards, but I did surf around a bit looking for the fashion highlights so that I could share them with the fine folks of fubar.

Hayden isn’t preggers, that’s just what a poofy Empire-waisted dress will make you look like sometimes.

Kristen supposedly sat with the Heroes cast during the awards, good to see them bonding so soon.

Eva was looking damn good in her backless shiny dress.

Jennifer Love was also stunning in black, and it appears she’s been on quite the workout regimen.

Christina was looking incredibly busty in white, even more reason to believe Paris was telling the truth when she let it slip that there is a baby on the way.

Last but not least, Katherine was the only one of this bunch of lovely ladies to take an Emmy home with her. Congrats!

Hey Justin!

I’m in the Big Apple for Fashion Week! Isn’t that cool?

What’s not cool is that everywhere I go that Michelle Trachtenbabe or whatever is at like every show! She’s always looking better than me, which makes me depressed, which makes me wanna eat. But that’s totally cool, cuz I keep nuts stored in my cheeks for just such an occasion! ^_^

Too Much Love:
JoJo

One of *my* favorite Jews attended Fashion Week in NYC recently. Michelle was hopping from one designer’s show to another, with her bff Lydia Hearst joined at the hip.

I don’t really know where teh Trachtenbabe rates on my Hawt Jewess list. She’s up against stiff competition when you consider that Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson are also Hebrew Hotties. I guess I’d put her in my Top 5 though…Happy New Year!

So I assume everyone here has already heard that Kristen is joining the cast of Heroes for 13 episodes this fall? She made the wise choice and picked them over Lost. Good call. FTW.

Heroes returns for Volume 2 on September 24…squeee!

Oh, these pics were taken on the red carpet at the Creative Arts Emmys this past weekend.

It’s been 16 years since Wicked Game, but the girl who made Michael Hutchence horny enough to tie a belt around his neck while fapping for great justice is still lookin damn good.

Hot enough at 38, that GQ tapped her for their October issue.

Whenever my head is like a maze, I turn to the easy things in life, the things that mean the most to me: Sex and cheese.

WTF? o_O

FUN FACTS: Helena is a Christmas baby, and was Miss Denmark at 18.