Dolphins used to ‘poke’ Jessica Alba, presumably at her vagina.

DOLPHIN RAPE.

Jessica Alba is always careful when she’s scuba diving because she doesn’t like attracting amorous dolphins. The actress discovered horny cetacean mammals got aroused by her presence when she was a youngster while shooting dolphin drama “Flipper.”

She recalls, “I don’t know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being – and they have long, long… (penises). I didn’t know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little bastards.”

Alba reveals the dolphin dilemma became a constant joke at the actress’ expense. She tells MTV News, “Needless to say my closest friends and family did dolphin squeaking noises for the next five years any time they referred to me or called me or talked to me, which was pretty annoying.”

– (OLD NEWS)

POST BONUS: 14-year old Jessica Alba dreaming of following Flipper to his rape cave…

You’re welcome.
-AB

She really is growing up nicely.

I LOIKE.

Just upgraded WordPress to version 3.4. I can now embed tweets into posts!

Which is great because i’ve been meaning to share this for a while now:

Thanks to this hot gym, I've learned you can get underboob sweat even if you don't have boobs. That what I'd call a lose-lose, Mother Nature

— AJ Mendez (@TheAJMendez) June 8, 2012

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

Coincidently, i was watching Journey 2: The Mysterious Island on my 3DTV the other day. Knew nothing about the movie except that The Rock was in it. Didn’t even know it was a direct sequel to the Brendan Fraser flick from 2008. Never even knew that Vanessa Hudgens was going to be in it!

Journey 2 was nothing special. Even in 3D. In fact, pretty much the only reason why i sat through it was because of Vanessa Hudgens’ sweaty cleavage. In 3D.

3D sweaty chest the whole movie!

Which probably also means she probably also had the underboob sweat that A.J. mentioned in her tweet up there.

Boob sweat.

Sexy and GROSS at the same time.

SO CONFUSING.

Angelbaby, underboob sweat. IS IT REAL?

Also, A.J. = Waifu.

LOL.

I don’t know why but this really made my day.

Speaking of which, Taken 2 is coming out. Can’t wait! The first one was so fucking badass. One of the best flicks of 2008. So good.

Sequel trailer below!

Really hope this second one lives up to the original. October 2012!!!

Will Maggie Grace do her weird run again this time?

Cannot be unseen.

I liked The Hunger Games better when it was called Battle Royale.

Stumbled upon this blog post while i was surfing the internets. Wow if true.

This former B list television actress who was on a really big hit network show just a couple of years ago now just seems to float mindlessly and flit between boyfriends. She comes from a broken home and abusive home. Her dad used to beat her and get into bed with her. Her mom just let it happen because she was being beaten herself and did not want to provoke. Well, now the actress who is still very young only seems to date boyfriends who are abusive and willing to hit her. Her last boyfriend (former A list athlete with B list name recognition) was so scared that he would kill her he broke up with her. Her new celebrity boyfriend does not punch nearly as hard but seems to love it. Probably getting out his anger because he is closeted.

There is some crazy stuff in the comments about sex for money and favors and influence involving Hollywood starlets.

Just look for the wall of text.

So i was watching Hugo 3D a coupla days ago. Great flick. This was before the Oscars too. Good to see it win a bunch.

Of course, one of the reasons i wanted to see it was for Chole Moretz. She’s so weirdly attractive. Even with the 1930’s look doing her no favors, i still couldn’t stop watching her. And thinking BAD THOUGHTS.

I feel dirty.

(By the way, too much make up in that video up there)

Nevertheless, here’s hoping she ages well in the next coupla years.

I love this picture. Took it about 3 years ago at the hospital while my wife was in labor with my first kid. They had these two trainee nurses come in and this one nurse was wearing a ridiculously tight nursing uniform and i had to take a picture. IN SECRET. Can’t remember what her face looked like but she was fairly cute and wore glasses. But dat tightness!

I showed the picture to my wife and she called me a pervert and rolled her eyes. She keeps threatening to delete the picture off my iPad. Won’t happen.

Sigh… and i’ll probably fap to this.

It’s a video which should spark a lot of discussion in the following hours.

Papparazzi Jean-Claude Elfassi announced on his blog he will reveal on friday the images from a sextape with singer Adele, no later than tomorrow on his blog, with no censorship whatsoever.

Likewise, gossip magazine Public announced tonight on its website that the front page from its new issue (to be published tomorrow) will be dedicated to this sextape, which is said to have been made by her ex-boyfriend and published as an act of revenge.

Adele, who was successful in the latest Grammy Awards 2012 by winning 6 trophies, is therefore back on the mediatic stage with a video she must never have wished to be published on the internet. Get more information on security staff for London escorts on this site.

A few days ago the singer published a Tweet saying “I hate papparazzi”. It is certain that she must hate them even more by tomorrow!”

Translated from here. There’s a teaser screenshot on that page.

People who respond with “Do Not Want” really mean to say “will grudgingly download and possibly masturbate to”.

I’m here because Avril’s here and she doing a show tomorrow night at the Stadium.

No idea if she’s already flown in or not. I wonder if there are people waiting for her at the airport. I think her last stop was over in the Philippines. Or was it Japan.

Airport’s like an hours drive away or something and i’m too cheap to take anything but buses and trains while i’m here. Heck, i’m even just walking to the Stadium tomorrow night from where i’m staying (not far, less than a KM away).

Wonder where she’s staying. Probably the Hilton. Time to stalk her Twitter.