Michelle Trachtenbabe and I would like to wish you and yours the happiest of holidays!

Merry Sexmas and a Fappy New Year! ^_^

I don’t think I really need to set this one up…

The whole lulzy NSFW trailer for ‘Your Highness’ can be viewed here.

People say that nothing much gets made in America anymore, that we’ve shipped most of our manufacturing overseas. But there’s one thing that good ol’ Uncle Sam still exports better than anyone, and that’s trashy young celebrities.

To prove that ‘Made in the USA’ still means something, we sent Taylor Momsen and Miley Cyrus across the Atlantic to appear at Europe’s version of the MTV Music Awards.

Lucky for us, jailbait cleavage and sideboob never go out of style.

New.

Trailer.

FTMFW.

Do want.

Hope everyone had a good Spooky Day! This girl and her awesome Starcraft Ghost costume were seen at Blizzcon last weekend, but I think work this good deserves some exposure on the biggest dress-up day of the year.

If I had a costume this kick-ass, I’d have gone to Halloween parties three nights in a row. Yep.

Okay, I’m off to get ready for The Walking Dead on AMC. Zombies ftw…squee! ^_^

Trailer for Darren Aronofsky’s creepy-looking thriller about ballet (lol wut) featuring Mila Kunis stalking and kissing Natalie Portman.

Do want.

When asked about the kiss in an interview, Mila tried to downplay it…

“It’s two girls making out, and guys have a thing for that. And Nat is like every guy’s dream. She’s a nerd’s idea of heaven. The whole thing is silly, but I can see why people care.”

Justin’s fapping arm is already in a sling by now, but in case the rest of you missed these pics of Little Miss Punk losing her top in the Malibu surf, here you go…

Gotta give props where they are due…nice booty, Avril.

Another teen queen just had a birthday. T-Moms turned 17 and I don’t even want to think about how that celebration went down. Maybe something like the video for the second single from her band, The Pretty Reckless.

Even the album cover for her band’s debut album is causing a commotion…

While she was still sweet sixteen, Taylor gave an interview to Disorder magazine, where she dropped the following wisdom when asked about her love life:

She also grins when asked if she’s single, and replies that she is, that she’s not into guys, waits a beat, then adds she’s not gay but just bored of men and her best friend is her vibrator.

YA RLY.

You’ve been a bad girl, Taylor…go to my room.

Lots of coo stuff was shown at Comic Con as usual, but I think this is what I’m most psyched to see next year, and I imagine many of our loyal readers will be equally intrigued.

Emily Browning FTW! ^_^

Oh, and some old chick named Carla is also in this. You’re welcome, Justin.

That sound you heard last week was thousands of pedos jumping off the Selena train when she turned 18 on the 22nd.

Other than becoming legal in all 50 states, Miss Gomez had a busy few days, with appearances on Letterman and Jimmy Fallon as well as the premiere of her new movie, Ramona and Beezus.

Next up on the jailbait countdown? Selena’s BFF, Demi Lovato, set to turn 18 on August 20.