…but you aren’t even original, kiddo. And I swear, if I knew how to edit comments, I’d change that stupid thing to YOUR name.

God. Some people, I swear. Like I’d forget to use the shift key or a period. This site sucks since Justin left.

http://theheretic.net/thess/ra.jpg
http://theheretic.net/thess/ra2.jpg

(You may all take a moment to ph34r my Photoshop skills, then click “more” for a fun new picture!)

Continue reading →

Apparently, suzi’s right. The only way to make you fanboys happy is pictures of half-naked bitches. So I snagged a few links from the “fanboys made happy by pictures of half-naked bitches” section of a forum I read.

– Lorissa McComas
– Fernanda Martinelli
– Oodles of stuff on this one

Alas, I finally see what it takes to be liked around here now that Justin is gone. It takes boobs. Real boobs, not like the hot stuff I posted before (boobie sex!). So here I come baring the most disgusting pictures of this person, that I have seen atleast, and she just so happens to be topless! EEP! I know that since they make me want to gag, every horny guy here is going to like them, possibly. Bleh.

Christina Agustupidwhore!!

and there’s more… (sorry girls, don’t look at any of the pictures if you are squeamish!)

even more nastiness!!

Since you all miss Justin, you probably miss the Avril tards too! Har. I’ll ask Justin later if he has gotten any emails that you all might care to read, since that is all he ever posted anyways and you guys think he is a saint! Eh, on to a tard.
Taken from Justin’s guestbook!

Fullname: Someone who doesn’t pretend I’m Avril Lavigne and says bad things about her
Email:
Where are you from?:
Homepage URL:
Comments: Whoever made up this site, why are you doing this??!?? You just hate Avril Lavigne, and are trying to make her look terrible. Well, you know what? She’s a down to earth girl who doesn’t care what other people think about her. She rocks, and does not deserve to be treated like this, so quit it, and stop acting like a freak. AVRIL LAVINGE RULES!!! From someone unlike the person who made up this stupid site. Someone who isn’t an idiot.

Haha. Justin, you are an idiot and Avril Lavigne rules! *cough* Only half of that statement is true… and more unimportantly never…ever.. forget when Justin said this statement to me on AIM, months ago.

Psykotik2k: I am a homo!

OOH! To end this post I’ll let you all in on my new found discovery. I have also stumbled onto something that I don’t think Big J let onto any of you before his departure. Just the other day I was informed, by the flaming homosexual himself, that in three months Justin shall have the mullet we all once teased him about. It is true. Justin.. is growing a mullet. oh wee.

I AM KOREA.
HUK. HUK.

Apparently Justin monitors IP addresses and noticed that my IP has shown up three hundred and thirty-six times……today. Guess he felt bad for me and decided to let me post. Yes he is still alive. No he did not say he was coming back. No, I cannot get a message to him for you.

In an attempt to discuss something other then Ben Affleck related, damn that Peanut Butter Jelly song. I still can’t get it out of my head. Anyway, if you all have not yet heard of Bum Fights, I highly recommend you go to your local software stealing program and download the videos right away. You can see some of their stuff on www.bumfights.com if you are too lame to be able to find the videos on your own. Seriously, this is the best Crocodile Hunter meets Jack Ass you have ever seen. I won’t bore you to death with all of my favorite scenes when you are just going to go to the site and see it anyway, but go check it out. Also, before any of you guys start whining about how much you miss Justin and how much you wish I would go away, remember who gave you this link. In conjunction with the little repertoire over to the left, you will have your fill of celebs for a while. Sorry girls, I had to find some way to calm the masses.

Back to the Affleck thing. I just wanted everyone to know I figured it out. Thess was only pretending to pretend that SHE was Affleck, while Liz was telling the truth…partly. You see her real name IS Ben, but her last name is actually Aztec, not Affleck. So who is Affleck? Who cares as long as he doesn’t play in any more good movies that involve him not having a penis or wearing red leather tights.

How is it that Thess could be Ben Affleck, when I am quite clearly Ben?

Hmm…You are quite the odd one, Jennifer my dear.

HAHA, SUCKERS.

Guess who Ben Affleck really is.

(Hint: me.)

Okay. I am tired of reading comment after comment about how bad we suck so stop complaining.

If you want your Justin back so freaking bad, then go sign that little petition thing. Justin said if I posted that it would be the best post in the world and everyone would love me again. SIGN IT NOW.

I AM KOREA. HUK. HUK.

I like “Ben Affleck” he is a really nice guy, but I dont like how he has been like the main poster lately. So here I am posting the usual bullshit. For those you you who know liz and we so proud that she was going to school today, there is no answer at her house so i dont think she will be making the bus ride or buying me hotcakes (mmmmm cakes of hotness) I know that she wants to go to school but she needs some incuragement, and I am encouraging out….so all of you need to give her a good word…not a bad word, cause I dont think that would be good.

Anyway, it is 7:00 am and the first thing I do, before my shower, before I bruch my teeth, is come to the net, to check my site, this site, lizzies site, god…..

Oh yeah, I dont check the news often but i was following this whole Sniper thing and I was wondering if he has done anything in the last few days….I hope they catch him…anyway, yeah, for those of you who are scared to leave your house, I hope they catch him, then you can siesta outside.

Well I am off to school kiddies, and Liz, GET YOUR ASS TO SCHOOL!….alright, see ya.

This Justin guy really pisses me off sometimes. He starts off by dragging me on for three weeks, letting me think he’s Avril Lavigne, talking about this and that… not cybersex, but cyber-foreplay for sure. So anyway, I’m seeing a connection here, and so I went to an Avril Lavigne concert, got backstage and she’s like, “Oh my god! Ben Affleck!” And I’m like, “Good to see you, too, sweetkins,” dropped my pants, and next thing I know I’m slapped with a restraining order. So I get back online and find this Psykotik2k person and I’m like, “Bitch! You lied to me!” and then Justin explained it all and we both had a good laugh over it. Well, he had a good laugh, and I fell off the wagon. God, I hope he doesn’t still have those IM’s logged away somewhere.

So anyway, maybe he felt so guilty that he decided to give me this job, or maybe it’s because he found some jackhole on the internet who hates me and linked him to my name at the end of the story I wrote, and I can’t do anything about it. I mean, I can stand criticism, but this guy is saying I look like Popeye-meets-Rambo, and that’s just the nastiest thing someone’s done to me since Damon convinced me to play Chuckie instead of Will Hunting. He gets an Oscar nomination for acting, and I end up playing second-fiddle to Mork From Ork! Damon’s a manipulative bastard, Justin’s a lying bastard, and this Popeye-thinkin’ fuck is fucking clown shoes. Yeah, you piece of crap, I read your Pearl Harbor review and I ain’t gay!

So let’s talk about breasts. You want proof I ain’t gay? We’re talking about breasts. Now, let’s be honest: J-Lo ain’t got much up top. You ever seen Money Train? Yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about. I bet you can probably find that picture over in that naked celebrity thing on the left there. I mean, I am a man in pain. Gwyneth? Ha ha, nope, nothin’ up there, either. I think I’m getting known for this, which might be why they cast me against Liv Tyler and Kate Beckinsdale in Armageddon and Pearl Harbor. If I had a thing for Canadian girls, I’d be on the first flight to Toronto for a Leafs game and visit the girls who post here on Fubar.

So, me being Mister Dissatisfied Ben Affleck, let’s talk about the actresses I should’ve nailed on movie sets over these past years: Salma Hayek in Dogma, Christina Ricci in 200 Cigarettes, Claire Forlani in Mallrats, Charlize Theron in Reindeer Games, Kristy Swanson from when I was an extra in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and this chick even though I never acted with her, because she’s really hot! Man, I’d dump J-Lo in a heartbeat for that chick. She must be like a foreign superstar or something. The name’s just so exotic, like Cher or Bjork, who are superstars that I don’t want to nail, but I will if it’ll prove to all of you doubters that I ain’t gay!

[Editor: I’m sure Ben would’ve wanted me to add the Popeye-Rambo link for clarity.]

Have no fear Thess, I’ve heard your cries. You’re not going to have to be the only one posting luckluster content on fubar, I’m here to add some “flavour”. Of course…I have very little of said “flavour,” since I am a mere blip on the radar of late, slipping away from social places such as school and even my friends houses. I am becoming a hermit at the age of 17. So, I’ve forced myself to become rather creative and at the moment I am determined to make myself a purse out of duct tape.

When I was at Call the Office (local punk club area thingie), before I got kicked out for drinking (don’t ask), I saw some chicks from Beal (local artsy downtown highschool where EVERYONE worth talking with transfers eventually) with duct tape purses. Now, I heard through the grape vine that night that they’ll make you one for $15 and they’re cool with stars and such. I got kicked out before I could approach them and ask…Plus, I was busy getting myself invited to a halloween party by ex-student council member and hottie boy who is now in uni (thats entirely not the point, /end hormonal teenage girl rantings here). But I’m ingenious and will do it myself (the purse). I just want to look around only for instructions first. If I can’t find them, then well, I will play around. I already have made wristbands before out of duct tape, stickers, socks, and nail polish (exacto knives are fun! Erm, don’t run with them…)

I must say, I do have a duct tape affixiation. I have no idea really where it came from, but one day I suppose I woke up and decided duct tape was the single most ingeneous product manufactured on the face of this earth. In fact, they have a duct tape plant in this good old city I am living. Amazing, oui?

Anyway, I am a strange girl with nothing to post. I MISS JUSTIN. So, here is some pranks you can try with duct tape that I stole from here, shamelessly.

“Sometimes when you buy used videos from Blockbuster, they still have the little theft strip on them. So if you ever want to get someone good, just remove theft strip and duct tape it to the bottom of their shoe, then send him on a run to the video store.Works great! – Randy M.”

“Secure a 32 oz. soda cup to the top of your car with duct tape on the bottom of the cup. As if you had left it there by mistake, drive merrily along with the radio LOUD so you can’t hear the people yelling to get your drink off the car. When they point and wave, act like they are waving at you, smile and wave back. You would not believe the reactions to this in traffic. People will GET OUT OF THEIR VEHICLE and tap on the window to tell you about the cup! – Stan”

“Here is a fun (and safe) prank to pull on co-workers in an office setting. Most office dwellers have chairs that use a pneumatic piston to control the height. They are also designed to use a persons weight to effect the downward adjustment. While your coworkers are away from their desk, take a strip of duct tape and tape the height adjusting lever to the bottom of the seat. This effectively locks the piston into adjust mode. When they sit down, their weight will cause the chair to bottom out quickly. The looks of utter confusion are priceless. Extra points to brave individuals who pull this one on their boss. – John Callicotte”

Meh, I know this post was completely half-assed…sigh.