So i did lots of cooking over the weekend, and here’s what i learned. Pizza dough turns out better if you put the yeast in warm water, not cold water out of the fridge. Muffaletta sandwiches are very good, but when you buy olives from an olive bar, make sure that either they’re pitted or you own an olive pitter. And lastly, you can make a bitchin’ caramel sauce with a can of sweetened condensed milk. Punch a coupla holes in the top and put it in boiling water that just comes up to the top of the can. Boil it for about four hours, removing when the contents are a nice caramel color. It’ll be pretty thick, so you can thin it down with milk or half-and-half or something. Good stuff; i put it over the top of a Klondike bar. Enjoy these fine edibles at home while looking at what is quite possibly the most hottest Olsen twin picture ever.

I went and saw SWAT today with my friend Terry. I actually liked it, and thought it was a really good movie. Colin Farrell was good, and was Samuel L. Jackson. LL Cool J has gotten fat… and then there was that other dude…

Two things i noticed: One, the camera never stays still in an action sequence… there is a shitload of pointless shaking and panning and jerking the camera around to add, i guess, to the suspense of the scene. And Two, the music was really great except for some shitty rap at the end about Sammy Jackson.

Yesterday I watched Donnie Darko for the first time in a while… that movie owns all. Donnie Darko is my hero… and I’m going to be a giant scary apocalyptic-telling bunny who is doer of evil things for halloween… but no one will get it… because they suck.

Two days ago I watched Monty Pythoin and the Holy Grail. God I forgot how funny those guys were. The random shit that they can come up with is hilarious

I’ve just realized I’ve been watching a lot of movies as of late… and I got tired of seing Justin’s post…

Cellar Door.

So i finally got around to watching that bootleg of Freaky Friday which i bought a coupla days ago and i’m happy to say that it doesn’t suck! It’s well worth watching. Lindsay’s pretty cute in that movie. She dresses very Avril-y/Lillix-y too (and we know how much i like Avril/Lillix so bonus points there). I don’t know how she stacks up against Amanda Bynes or Hilary Duff (because i haven’t actually seen What A Girl Wants or The Lizzie McGuire Movie yet) but i thought Freaky Friday was pretty good and from what i’ve seen of the trailers for Bynes’ and Duff’s respective feature films, Freaky Friday seems to be the best of the three recently released girly teen movies.

Now one thing. Is it just me or does Lindsay Lohan looks like a female version of Frankie Muniz? Seriously. Go see Freaky Friday and tell me that she doesn’t look (and act) like a female Frankie Muniz. I swear to God she really does. Or maybe it’s just me. But if you ever do check out the movie, look out for the Frankie Muniz-isms.

In other news, Google is my bitch. Lalala.

And someone out there really wants to know the answer to this:

Anyhow, just for the hell of it, i bought Gigli on VCD yesterday to see what all the fuss was about. To see if it really was as bad as everyone says it is. Considering the fact that i actually liked Martin Brest’s last film (Meet Joe Black) a lot, and the fact everyone pretty much hated that movie too, i figured maybe i’d liked Gigli in the same way i liked Meet Joe Black. I was wrong. The reviews were right. ‘Bad’ doesn’t even begin to describe Gigli. It is so atrocious, so appallingly awkward and so awful that several members of the UN have moved to ban this movie on the basis that exposure to its shittiness constitutes the employment of weapons of mass destruction on innocent humans.

Gobble gobble.

And i also bought Blood on VCD. I would’ve tried getting it on DVD but i couldn’t find a copy anywhere. So i settled for the shitty VCD version. It’s been a while since i last watched that movie. The first time i saw it was on DVD back in 2001. It was my farting roommate’s. I would’ve bought myself a copy too but i heard that the movie was only like 45 minutes long and i sure as hell didn’t want to pay RM$130+ for the damn thing (i was still in Malaysia at the time. Non bootlegged DVD are ridiculously expensive in Malaysia).

Anyhow, two years later, i watch it again and it amazes me how i never thought that the voice acting sucked the first time around. Because i sure did notice it this time. It kinda sucks when that happens. When you watch a movie for the first time and you think it’s the shit. And then you watch it again like two to five years later or whatever, and then you think it’s just shit. Not to say that Blood sucks overall. Actually it’s a pretty good movie. Hot main character. Fucking amazing animation mixed in with seamless CGI elements and oh so fucking bloody at times. And did i mention the really hot main character? In a Japanese schoolgirl uniform to boot.

It’s too bad that it’s a really short movie. Less than 50 minutes long. The back of the DVD cover even lies to you and says 83 minutes. Hell, it’s not even 83 minutes long if you add up all the extra stuff on the DVD. Nevertheless, it’s still a pretty good movie. Not much going for it plot wise. And there’s none of that ultra freaky stuff that most Japanese anime is known for (if you’re into that kind of thing). Actually, we should just be happy that that country of deviants showed the restraint of not having an octopus demon slither into the room and take a crap on her forehead in this movie.

I’m hungry. I think i’ll go cook something to eat.

I have the wierdest feeling that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to be the next California governer. If you don’t know I live in California and there has been a recall election because people hate our current governer Grey Davis… because he is a dumbfuck. I wouldn’t mind Arnold as our Governer, because honestly people, no one would even try to fuck with us! Who is going to fuck with a state run by the Terminator? I actually think he is pretty qualified… oh and he’s got a pretty cool website too.

Speaking of pie, did anyone see the Teen Choice Awards? Yeah, me neither… but Justin says they were good. Due to the fact that we couldn’t find any pictures from the 2003 Teen Choice Awards we are giving you these instead.

I’ve touched Hilary Duff… and you haven’t.

…touched her good…

…oh so now you want the story, huh? Well Hilary Duff actually lives close to me and one day back in like June or something she was at a Teen Center around here and she was kind of hanging out, and I guess promoting the Lizzie McGuire movie. So I went up to talk to her, and she was surprisingly nice and it wasn’t like it was a bunch of people around it was just us talking, so then I just said i thought she was a good actress and i liked her (what was i going to say “I want to fuck you brains out??”) The Teen Center was taking pictures for some shit, so they asked if she would stand with me so I put my arm around her waist (touchy touchy) got the pic and left. Justin is making me tell the story… but it really happened…

(Justin says: Suuure it did..)

While we are talking about pedophiles… Amy wrote a pretty funny rant about fubar and about the creepiness of guys who want to bone underage women… but not that we know any of those…

And once Google gets it act together we should start getting a descent amount of hits from things like Playboy Pictures and from things like:

Hot sex porn Colin Farrell naked sex blow job boys kissing naked nude fuck bukkake Lindsay Lohan

Stop reading now…

Update:

Girls Kissing

Who loves you baby?

• Trishelle – Real World Las Vegas
• Arissa – Real World Las Vegas
• Katie – Road Rules Morocco
• Sarah – Survivor Marquesas
• Shannon – Big Brother 2
• Tonya – Big Brother 3Get em quick before Playboy makes me take them down or whatever.
• More Playboy Stuff Here

I’m kind of disappointed that Brynn didn’t get naked. Instead we get stupid Trishelle (i always hated her the most on the show). I have no opinion on the others because i never watched those other shows but anyhow, yeah, i hate Trishelle’s face. I don’t think she’s pretty at all. She looks good naked though. From the neck down. But that face never relly did anything for me. Now Brynn, she’s cute. I’d make fuck with her. Well okay i’d make fuck with Trishelle too given the chance but only in the dark. Tee hee. Oh well, at least Trishelle’s got a nice set of tits. Maybe that’s worth leaving the lights on for.

They’re like tiny little doorbells. I want to press them. HEHEHEHE.

Comments? Opinions?

Can you say best layout pic ever?

Update:

And a bonus question to whoever’s willing to answer it.

Who would you pick to make fuck with if you could only pick one?

Update again!

For the benefit of Google, which i hope will be indexing this page pretty soon so that i can get free hits and fucked up search referrals like Raven Simone nude or Rachel Evan Wood boobs etc etc.. and also for those of you who don’t read YM or Seventeen or whatever (seriously, chick mags are like the best things ever. you wouldn’t believe how much eye candy there can be in those things. except for the coupla pages where they have lots of pictures of guys though. then i sorta feel gay for reading them), i shall list out all the names of the girls that you see up there.

From left to right:

• Amanda Bynes (the one i want to make fuck with)
• Olsen Twins (don’t know which one is which though. but who cares. you’d do them both at the same time anyway)
• Mandy Moore (looking very hotsex)
• Hilary Duff (ugly as fuck)
• Alexis Bledel (she was in that Tuck Everlasting movie)
• Evan Rachel Wood (she’s in that Thirteen movie. She was also in S1M0NE and Little Secrets)
• Raven Simone (she was on the Cosby Show when she was still a kid. think Olsen Twins Full House)
• Lindsay Lohan (she’s in that new Freaky Friday movie; which i just bought on VCD today incidently.)

Um. Fuck ass anal donkey sex boobs naked nude butt bra and anything else people would put into search engines in conjunction with any of these girl’s names. Trust me. Google eats this shit up like you wouldn’t believe.

So now, which one would you like do the humpy humpy with?

Ehem. So i’m guessing we all remember the time that i brought my WEBCAM into class to secretly take pictures of that HOT big foreheaded Thora Birch/Zoja looking chick Stephanie right? Boy, that was a MAD STUNT wasn’t it? Tee hee.

But just in case you missed it, here’s a excerpt from the original post made sometime last year:

—————
…you all remember Stephanie right? I talked about how i kept staring at her jubblies in my last post. Remember how i said i was gonna maybe bring my webcam into class? Well i did! And i took some pictures of her without her knowing. Hahaha. Anyway, yeah, i brought my webcam into class with me Wednesday morning and i secretly took snaps of her all throughout class. It was kinda hard because i mean come on now, how could anyone not notice the freakin’ webcam sitting on my table. It didn’t help that it was a tiny class too. But i pulled it off anyway. Without her suspecting anything. Har har.

It kinda sucked that she didn’t really dress herself up that morning (or better yet… dress herself down… ha!) but lemme tell ya, get this girl into the right clothes and HOT doesn’t even begin to describe how good she looks.

Anyway, tell me that she doesn’t look like a cross between Thora Birch’s forehead and Zoja of web-decay.net.

Isn’t she cute in that Thora Birch kind of way? Aww…

I want to make fuck with Thora Birch. (okay i edited that. it used to say hump. i like make fuck better)

Anyway, today in class, she wore a tight white t-shirt again. And her left bra strap fell off her shoulder again. And once again, the highlight of my day was when she reached into her shirt to readjust it. Haha. It’s quite sad that the highlight of my day was seeing a girl adjusting her bra strap. I am easily jollied up. The only real difference today was that her shirt wasn’t as thin or as see-through as it was on Monday. But oh well. At least it was tight. Hee.
—————

Now back to 2003.

Sigh. Oh Stephanie. You hot little minx you. I say goddamnnn you’re so hot (in my best John Travolta impersonation ala Broken Arrow).

I remember always sneaking looks at you in class. While you weren’t looking of course. I remember me hoping that you’d sit next to me everytime we had class together. Or at least in the seat diagonally in front of me so i could stare at your ass and the side of your boobs without you knowing at all. And then this one time, at the end of class, you were sitting behind me and i stood up… and omg! you suddenly bent down to put your books into your bag and i turned around to get one last look at you for the day and BONANZA! i could see clearly down into your shirt. And i saw your bra. And your cleavage. And i nearly died. Okay maybe not but still, i could’ve just died happy that day. Okay i’m starting to get creepy.

(On that note, isn’t it amazing what i can get away with saying now that i don’t have some lameass jealous girlfriend who hates my site to regulate what i can or cannot say on my own blog?)

So anyway. This past April, on the last day of TV Studio Production class, i decided to… dun dun dun! BRING MY WEBCAM INTO CLASS! 😀

Okay so it’s not exactly as new and as exciting a thing to do since it’s already been done once before (kind of like watching The Matrix Reloaded) but hey, it’s hard to top something as ingenius as that. It even beats the time that i went around school pretending to take photographs of students (well. girls really…) for this non-existant school magazine. Ahahahaha. I did that back in high school. Observe.

There’s actually a whole lot more than just those three pics. But i never got the others scanned in.

Hands up whoever wants to make fuck with Chloe.

Incidently, i actually saw her not too long ago at the Sultan’s birthday celebration thing in the city this past July 15th. She still looks exactly the same. Except older of course. And maybe even hotter. I didn’t really take a good look because i was too busy lugging around a Betacam for the filming we had to do of the Sultan’s birthday celebration thing. I work at a video production house by the way. I think it was just for stock footage purposes.

ANYHOW. Chloe was 16 in that picture. I think. But enough about hot make fuckable Chloe.

Where was i. OH YES. TV Studio Production. So i took my webcam into class and secretly took pictures of the three hottest chicks in that class. Okay so maybe they might not be hot to you and maybe they look pretty bad in pictures but hot diggity damn, they’re actually quite hot in real life (as always is the case just like that Stephanie girl, she’s way hotter in real life than in pics). So anyway, we got Kelly, who’s always wearing these super tight clothes (okay she may be a little bit ‘healthy’ but hey, i’d still make fuck with her). And then we have Lauren. Who always sits next to me and reminds me a little bit of Liz actually. I think it’s the eye makeup. And then we have… okay fuck. I forgot her name but i always thought that she was the cutest one out of all the chicks in the class and she kinda looks like that chick from The Real World Las Vegas. That Go Go dancer chick. Whatever the hell her name was. Cute like her too. Except with longer hair. Man what the fuck was her name. I wish i could remember. She was hot. The chick in my class i mean. And that chick on The Real World too i suppose.

Okay anyway, without further adieu.

The Matrix Reloaded equivalent of… secretly taken webcam pics 2003!

Tee hee.

• Kelly
• Lauren
• Er…i forgot her name. But she’s cute.

(Last one might take a while to load. Lotsa pics)

The current Colin Farrell joke layout is coming down soon. So to put things into context, all the posts that were made before this one; had that layout up on the site. Hence all the mentioning of Colin Farrell in previous posts.

Just so you know so that you get all the jokes.

I’ve often wondered what people must think of this site after checking it out for the very first time.

Okay well, they might probably be thinking “GAY” right now what with the current Colin Farrell layout and the 15 year old girl-ishness of some of the more recent posts. But that’s a given.

I sure do hope people actually take the time to read the posts though. Otherwise they’d probably miss the whole joke. You know. This whole gay thing. And the 15 year old girl-ishness (You all do know that it’s a joke right??). Because i like a good running joke. Trouble is that, it’s not really the best way to rope in new readers. It’s like watching 24 when it’s already halfway through the season. You’d have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Nobody would ‘get’ what’s happening on the site.

Case in point:

Jackalicious2: what
Jackalicious2: the fuck
Jackalicious2: your site is gone nuts

pangwinking: fuck…colin farrel?

Hee.

Though, it can be pretty amusing for those of you all who actually follow the site through and through, sitting back and watching everyone else’s reactions to whatever crazy stunt i decide to pull. I like to fuck around with my readers every now and then by doing totally unexpected things. Remember the Ellen Feiss layout? The Daveigh Chase one? Well, you can add this Colin Farrell layout (and the Johnny Depp one too) to the list.

Anyhow, the point is, i haven’t really gone gay and yes, things will go back to normal pretty soon. I just haven’t been able to think of any hot chicks to use for a new layout. Which is why this Colin Farrell layout has been up for so long. It’ll come down sooner or later though.

So i was talking to M@ from SLBS like a coupla hours before i got the site back up under this new URL and he was gracious enough to help spread the word of the return of fubar. Thanks M@.

matt at slbs: I’m going to use my internet powers and try to get you some hits from the cfus.net forums to get you back on your feet
matt at slbs: your interfeet, if you will
psykotik2k: they’re probably gonna think the site sucks. it is an aquired taste.
matt at slbs: yeah, but everyone knows fubar
matt at slbs: like, seriously, I hate sites like your site, but I love your site
matt at slbs: It’s like some sort of sick, twisted trick that the internet is playing on me

Hahaha.

matt at slbs: I showed my roommate your site one day, and he was like, “this guy is exactly like us, except he admits it”
matt at slbs: just keep the site updated with all the crap I want to put on my site, but can’t
matt at slbs: you’re my martyr

Yep. I’m taking one for the team.

Keep in mind that this was all said in the context of when the site still had hot girls and boobies. He probably wouldn’t have said the same thing if Colin Farrell was on it. Hee.

Anyhow, i think it’s about time that i retire the Colin Layout. Although i haven’t exactly made a new replacement yet. I was supposed to do it this past weekend but i guess i got a little sidetracked. Doing what i have no idea. Because honestly, i didn’t do jackshit this weekend. I guess i was just being a lazy bastard.

So now then. I have a question. Why in the world do you people even like this site?? Actually wait, let me rephrase. Why in the world do you people even still visit this site, much less even like it enough to visit it?? It’s changed so much. Gone are the boobies, the naked celebs, teh Eve, the good old posts about DVDs, videogames and Doritos… all that’s left is, well, crap really. Not that i haven’t noticed. Otherwise i wouldn’t even be mentioning it. But with that being said, fear not fellow fubarbs. The fubar of old will probably be making a comeback. Once i get my shit together. Not posting for over two months has taken quite a toll on me. I kinda lost my groove. Since i got the site back up, things have been a little bit off lately. Mostly because i have no idea what direction i want to take with the site. So far i’ve just been trying to live up to the new URL and posting up stuff that’s just not right. And ironically enonugh, it just doesn’t feel right either.

THIS PENIS PARTY’S GOT TO GO.

(HEY HEY, HO HO)

So i’m gonna try to bring back the old feeling. The fubar of the pre-lillix days.

So tell me what you would like to see back on the site. The stuff you liked from before. Your opinion will be much appreciated.

Tee hee hee. And it only cost me about US$2.50.

WOOSA!

WOOSA! WOOSA! WOOSA!