Well, Ashlee Simpson may have declined to take it all off for a magazine…if only 6-month preggers Britney could’ve shown equal restraint.

The mind boggles at the sheer amount of Photoshop used to make Mrs. Federline look good in these shots…

UPDATE: Oh yeah, that’s right…fubar trumped bigtime media outlets like E Online and Reuters, who didn’t post this story until just this evening.

My favorite part was:

Unfortunately for Harper’s, said photos leaked onto the Internet shortly after the conclusion of the shoot and were available on various Websites as of Wednesday afternoon.

Ahem… “Various Websites” indeed. And more like Wednesday morning. Thank you, thank you very much. ^_^

SIMPSON SNUBS CHANCE TO POSE FOR PLAYBOY

LATEST: ASHLEE SIMPSON has turned down a multi-million dollar offer to pose for famed men’s magazine Playboy. The 21-year-old was offered $4 million (GBP2.2 million), but decided to not to bare all for the legendary publication. Simpson’s publicist ROB SHUTER confirmed to website TMZ.com that the singer did indeed receive the offer to pose for the magazine, but declined. A newly-glamorous Simpson is currently on tour promoting her latest album I AM ME.

I would have fapped to that.

This teaser fails at having any wet or jiggly Kiki in it (ala the trailers for Spider-Man/Spider-Man 2)!

I am vexed!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I certainly hope Zoo magazine continues to celebrate big sporting events with Keeley photoshoots.

I’m already visualizing the British Open spread… Topless Keeley assuming a proper stance over her teed-up ball, little plaid skirt hiked up just so. Keeley sprawled nude across an emerald green bentgrass putting surface. I think you get the idea…

Until then, enjoy this Wimbeldon-themed series. This time the naughtier shots are included in link form so as not to disappoint anyone’s fapping plans. ^_^

Topless Keeley 1
Topless Keeley 2
Topless Keeley 3
Topless Keeley 4
Topless Keeley 5 (mmmmm…strawberries & cream)

I know she’s popular around here (for some reason), so here are some pics of Amanda taken at some T-Mobile Sidekick event.

Oh, and one of Hilary Duff taken at the same event to show you how NOT to dress for success in Hollywood. I’ll grant Miss Bynes this much, at least she picked a pretty outfit, and looks well put-together.

WTDuff? Did someone tell you the newsboy cap and those shoes really brought that whole look together? And what’s up with the celebs and leggings? Can someone plz tell me? I think those were the height of fashion back when I was a toddler. They just look dumb under a dress. Fact.

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Oh, Hermione…not again!

You naughty girl!!

And quaffing Bud as well…come on, girlfriend. Don’t you live in jolly old England? I would think you could get your hands on some better beer.

I’d totally like to spend some quality drinking time around Emma’s friend in the brown dress. I bet the alcohol could bring out her “curious” tendencies… 😉

Difficult to follow Keeley, I realize…but perhaps some Sha-bear might be acceptable?

Oh…did I mention side boob was involved??

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With all the bickering over cup size going on in the comments of the Amanda Bynes post just below, I figured now might be a good time to offer up a recent photoshoot of a lovely lass who at the tender age of 18 was credited with the following (all-natural) measurements:

I’m sure everyone here has, at one point or another, asked themselves the important question: What would a soccer team look like if it were made up of ELEVEN Keeleys?

Gaze upon the magic that is digital photo editing…

FUN FACT: Keeley totaled her Mini Cooper back in February by running it into a lamp post. Even though the vehicle’s airbag failed to deploy properly, Miss Hazell walked away from the accident without a scratch… 😉

I wonder what her boobies would look like unclothed.

I also wonder what her actual cup size is.

I wonder alot about Amanda Bynes.

I can’t wait till this scene from ‘Ask the Dust’ gets ripped once it hits DVD.

Oh yes, there will be fapping.

Hands up if you’ve jerked it to ‘Frida’ and ‘Desperado’.