Nyuk nyuk nyuk. At one point in time, my site was actually listed third right under MTV and VH1 if you did a search for “Madonna kissing Britney/Christina” on Google. Now it’s somewhere in the top ten. But nonetheless, how about that? This site being right up there with MTV and VH1. Ahahaha. Google loves the fubar.

Anyhow, if you’re looking for the high res pics and vid of the (unremarkably brief) kiss between those three ladies, click here.

Other just enjoy this here pic:

Poor guy. Well at least he won a bunch of awards for his video which was essentially just a four minute fuck you to Britney. All she got was a kiss.

Look at Mary J. Blige in the background. She looks disgusted. Hehehe.

All in all. Aside from the whole Madonna kissing Britney and Christina thing, i hear that this year’s VMA’s wasn’t really anything to shout home about (i haven’t actually seen it yet. not even sure if it’s already been shown here on MTV Asia). Anyhow, it’s shame that Johnny Cash’s Hurt didn’t win best male video. That was a good video. Never actually got to see it on air though. Had to download the damn thing off the net. I read somewhere that MTV only played it like 6 times. But then again i wouldn’t really know. I haven’t been watching MTV since April 2003. Anyhow, it’s a most excellent video and you’re a Gerry if haven’t seen it.

Question: Was Alyson Stoner at the VMA’s? You know. That little white girl in all of Missy Elliot’s videos. She’s cute. A damn good dancer too. Also, how come Gossip Folks wasn’t nominated. I thought that it was a much better video than Work It. Plus it had Ludacris in it. Ludacris is the shit.

So i was tinkering around with the site earlier, trying to get Movable Type working but i failed. Perhaps i shall try working it out some other time.

Anyhow, i’d like to talk about Jessica Simpson a bit.

But why talk when a picture can paint a thousand words.

Click for a high res picture.

Anyhow, i finally got around to watching Mr Deeds the other night. And i have come to the conclusion that Winona Ryder has, quite possibly, the jiggliest boobs in Hollywood. Not that they even jiggle around that much in the movie but from the looks of them, they look like they would jiggle a lot. So i went around the net looking for pictures and clips of her jiggly boobies and i found a nice jiggly video clip of her running down some steps from the movie Dracula.

By the way, celebritymoviearchive.com is a most excellent site where you can get pretty much any clip of any celeb you could possibly ever think of. Real cheap too. $2.95 gets you 100 megs of ‘credit’ to download any vid you want. No monthly fees or anything. Just a one time $2.95 payment. And if you join now and add this e-mail address (psykotik_1@hotmail.com) as a referrer, you get a bonus 20 megs of credit added to your account.

And if joining isn’t an option for you, that site is pretty fun to browse around too. They have screencaps of every vid they have on there up for free.

Anyhow, i was sad to find out that Winona Ryder has never done any topless scenes. None where you can actually see anything anyway. Although you do get to see like half of her nipple for like a split second in that Autumn In New York movie. That alone was enough to make my penis explode.

Anyway, so i got bored looking at Winona’s half tit after a while and i decided to browse the site alphabetically. Letter by letter. And so i got around to the letter T right, and who do i see listed amongst everyone else? Keegan Connor Tracy! The big forehead chick from Final Destination 2! I never even knew she’d done onscreen nudity before. What a most excellent site.

But enough of these humans. We all know that cartoons are much better than any boring human.

So Bubba and i were on AIM and somehow i started talking about how hot that squirrel looking chick thing was in that Tailspin cartoon. I think her name was Gadget. And then Bubba says:

Bubba: Gadget was from Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers, NOT Tailspin, Justin! You l00by bitch, you don’t know anything…

Justin: so then who was that squirrel dog looking chick in tailspin? she was hot. i’d tap that.

Bubba: I’m not sure what her name was, but I think I know who you’re talking about.

Justin: shit. disney chicks are hot. even the animals.

Bubba: Screw Disney animal chicks, I want to hump Cheetara. RAAWRRR! That was one hot pussy…

Justin: you know who else was hot. that female rabbit that was seducing thumper in bambi. shit she made my penis explode.

Bubba: Lady and the Tramp had all kinds of cute bitches in it. I want to make puppies with them all…

Justin: come to think of it, bambi’s mom was pretty hot too. now that’s what i call a MILF.

Bubba: I wanna hump Evil-Lyn so hard up the cootch. I’ll show her who really has the power….my cock. *pang wink*

Justin: fuck evil-lyn. the baronness from GIJOE was much hotter. the things i would do with her action figure… if it were lifesize… and alive. heck i bet i’d have her screaming COBRA LALALALLALALALALLALALALALAA in bed all night.

Bubba: Ooh, G.I.Joe chickadees! I want Jinx on my pang. Yeah-hah, lights out little girly! *grabs Jinx figure and puts on pang* Hmm…it’s just not the same. =\

Justin: fuck that. i’ll tell you who else is hot. arcee from the fucking transformers. she was one damn hot pink car. i’d ride her all night long.

Bubba: Hmm, that’s pretty good…but you know who else is ridable? My Little Pony. That’s one fine horse….giddyup lil cowboy Bubba.;-)

Justin: you are sick. but you’re right, they should really stop making all these animal chicks so hot. like minerva mink from the fucking animaniacs. man what i would give to be able to lick her furry little boobies. although i dunno. that would probably suck a lot because i once sucked on a human titty and it had a hair on it and it was gross. minerva is still one hot minx though.

And then Bubba sent me this:

Sometimes i question his sanity.

“And how would sir like his hair today?”

“ARRRGGGHHHHH!”

The number one sin in The Hairdresser’s Commandments, the mullet is indeed the Devil’s Haircut. The preferred head snip of trailer park trash and fans of the WWE, hot rods and most species of death metal, in the real world the mullet is not only a thing of oily ghastliness, it’s stylistic suicide.

In the movies however, the mullet is the preferred cut of the bulging action hero. The rugged and dependably short hair on top JUXTAPOSED with a roguish shoulder length sprinkle SPRAYING from the back, there’s nothing more INVIGORATING than watching the mane of a mullet BILLOWING MAJESTICALLY in the wind as its owner LEGS IT down the middle of a busy AMERICAN ROAD FOR CARS. Or something.

Mullets: they’re hairy catshit.

And so, as the former Mullet King Mel Gibson made a shocking reappearance in 1998’s Lethal Weapon 4 sans mullet, favoring instead a boring and frankly unfunny crop cut, here’s fubars own personal celebration of the dumbest hair phenomenon since the pubic rat tail.

BRING ON YE MULLETS!

Kurt Russell Escape From Mullet (1996)

Christopher Lambert HighMullet (1986)

Eddie Murphy Mullet In Brooklyn (1995)

Michael Douglas Mullet Rain (1989)

Kevin Costner Mulletworld (1995)

Kevin Costner Again Robin Hood: Prince Of Mullets (1991)

Mel Gibson Lethal Mullet (1987)

Jean-Claude Van Damme Hard Mullet (1996)

Kiefer Sutherland The Lost Mullets (1987)

Nicholas Cage Con Mullet (1997)

Steve Guttenberg
Don’t Tell Her It’s Mullet (1990)

You shameless, undignified oily locked straggly old rock tramp.

Time for a break in the dick parade.

*10 minute blank out staring at screen* I don’t really know what to say. I promised Justin if he emailed me I would post. I’m rusty.

I’m in ‘class’ – “Projekt zur Berufsorientierung junger Frauen” which is translated as a project for the career orientation of young women. The only good thing here is that there’s a kitchen with free coffee and free DSL. And maybe a new friend. But she needs to wash her hair more than every four days. And eat a few cheeseburgers.

After class yesterday I had an appointment with a real man of our times. He’s the director of this place and before he goes into retirement at the end of this year and dies with his tiny pension stuffed under his pillow he’s supposed to help out us “girls” with finding an 8 week place where we can do a praktikum. I guess that’s an internship, basically you work full time in some place and don’t get paid.

The problem with him started right at the beginning by telling me that I should probably pronounce my first name (Samantha) a little more “German” – as in Zumuntu. Apparently being American and having an american name is no longer a good idea for the work scene? He’s so modern and up to date. What made his statement 5 points more ridiculous is that in my class of 15, over half are foreigners from the Middle East and it took me a week to understand their names and be able to pronounce them the correct way – ie. how their own country would say it. No one tells them to germanize their names.

Strike two was that he didn’t realize that my email address was an email address. Obviously he’s never seen that new invention of the internet. Or written an email. Which wouldn’t surprise me because in the 90 minutes I had to stare at my reflection in his glasses and he sat in front of the window that was the cause of my migraine he received SEVEN phone calls. He didn’t politely tell them to call back, he had full blown coversations with Spaniards and Turks that were looking for or found jobs in construction and factories. And I got to quietly sit there with nothing to do.

For being a career counselor he apparently has no idea how to listen to what people want to do and suggest things along the line of what goal they’re reaching for. I threw out the idea of opening a cafe, something I’ve already started, and he told me to do a bakers training. Baking bread = serving coffee? Right.

And he’s so educated he couldn’t figure out where Michigan, one of my most prominent states in the America, was located.

He couldn’t grasp the concept that the name of an american elementary school and a language school aren’t really important in life, and that it doesn’t matter what the meaning or relevance behind the name is.

Or that I didn’t want to work in the fucking warehouse of the construction store (like Lowe’s or something) just because he had a connection there that was also german-american. He said it would teach me better German. I wondered if wizzing on his rug would piss him off.

A real man of our times.

Madonna making out with Britney and Christina at the VMAs?

And did you see the look on Justin’s face? (no, not my face, Timberlake’s)

Hehehehehe.

(Updated with high res pics)

Hm. Nothing much to talk about today. But i feel like sharing this classic Suzi fansign with you all just one more time.

Okay i know one of you went searching for this. Who was it??!! Own up now.

Here’s what i’ve gotten so far. I’ll keep adding to it if i get more. So keep checking this space.

• Voice 1
• Voice 2
• Voice 3
• Voice 4
• Voice 5
• Voice 6
• Voice 7
• Voice 8
• Voice 9
• Voice 10
• Voice 11
• Voice 12
• Voice 13
• Voice 14
• Voice 15
• Voice 16
• Voice 17
• Voice 18
• Voice 19
• Voice 20
• Voice 21
• Voice 22
• Voice 23

The number to call is: 877-571-0606

And now, some post voicemail convos:

24/8/03 11:30 AM
psykotik2k: woah. suzi’s voice has changed
TehBubba: no it hasn’t
psykotik2k: yes it has
TehBubba: suzi doesn’t change
TehBubba: she still looks like she does in your buddy icon, and she was 4 years old there.

24/8/03 12:22 PM
gabdabaryfactory: eh
psykotik2k: hello sir
gabdabaryfactory: i went to leave a voicemail for you.
gabdabaryfactory: i was gonna tell a funny joke
gabdabaryfactory: and just as i started
gabdabaryfactory: i got stung by a bee
psykotik2k: ahahahahaha
gabdabaryfactory: and i was like “oh fuck”
gabdabaryfactory: and then it hung up on me
gabdabaryfactory: so when you get that weird message, it was me
gabdabaryfactory: i may call and tell you that joke again
gabdabaryfactory: but i didn’t feel like it tonight because my right outer thigh is throbbing like the winking pang of a 13 year old after his first wet dream

24/8/03 10:16 AM
DaRkSuPeRMaN3666: people who just stumble onto your site are probably scared of you
DaRkSuPeRMaN3666: I told someone that your site is funny, but if they just go to it and haven’t ever read it before, you’d seem weird and creepy
DaRkSuPeRMaN3666: like a mix between Richard Simmons, Hannibal Lector, and the creepy middle school math teacher who hits on his female students

That is so not true!

My site IS NOT funny…

I was just listening to all the old voicemail messages that i received from back in the day and it got me thinking about setting up a new voicemail box thing so that you can leave me creepy messages.

• Voice 1
• Voice 2
• Voice 3
• Voice 4
• Voice 5
• Voice 6
• Voice 7

There’s actually supposed to be 7 more from this first series of voice messages but they accidently got deleted somehow. Doh.

Consider these ones down here series two.

• Voice 1
• Voice 2
• Voice 3
• Voice 4
• Voice 5
• Voice 6

Anyhow, i’m pretty P.O.ed at the fact that my e-mails aren’t getting through properly. For the past two days, i’ve been trying to send a friend of mine an e-mail with a photo attachment and she says she still hasn’t received anything from me. I’ve already tried e-mailing her three times. To no avail. I’m guessing that my other e-mails to Zia, Amy and Eve didn’t get through either since i haven’t received any replies or anything from them yet. Gah! I blame that stupid virus e-mail worm thing that’s been going around. They must be lagging the shit out of my e-mail servers or something causing delayed/undeliverable deliveries. Anybody else getting spammed by that virus or is it just me?

Update:

Gyahahahaha. I done gone did it. I made another voicemail box thing over at Ureach.com. Although i was a cheap bastard and decided to go with the 7 day free trial thing. So yeah, my voicemail number won’t last forever.

877-571-0606

(It’s toll free i believe. Oh and try to speak loud and clearly)

Knock yourself out.