Chobot on AOTS

Just so you can hate her more Chobot will be on Attack of the show tonight.

“Jessica Chobot, video game columnist for Redassedbaboon.com (not to mention a renowned licker of the Sony PSP), discusses the trials and tribulations of being a “girl gamer.””

Oh shut the fuck up Chobot. Girl gamer my ass. Can’t believe they’re inviting this two bit whore back on the show. Fuck you G4. And fuck you too IGN. I know you probably had a hand in this.

In other news, look at my sidebar. Now i have a special link for all my Chobot posts. lmao! Unfortunately you’ll still have to endure them on the front page since there’s really no way for me to hide them from here. Ha ha ha! Eat it haters.

By the way, i’m number one on MSN Search for “Jessica Chobot”. I rule.

Next, is to be number one on all major search engines for “Jessica Chobot nude”. Or maybe even “Jessica Chobot naked”. Stupid whore.

Here’s some more hate mail from IGN Babes Whores for this so called “girl gamer”:


– KEN!!!

I read your “interview” with the slut who loves PSP… Do not make her out to be some kind of super woman. It is okay to enjoy “babes” for what they are, dumb eye candy. I will now pledge to not visit this site or and IGN/Game spy site for thye next 6months and I will advise others to do the same.

– Erhan

I totally agree with the letter from the guy who thought Jessica Chobot was vacuous, insipid, pseudo-gamer. Her comments perfectly reflected the MTV,Tech TV generation of gamers that think Nintendo is just for kids and don’t understand that they are innovators that are constantly creating new game play experiences. They created the standard control pad, analog stick, and radio wave wireless controller. Now all these are system standards. Even their failed attempts at gameplay additions show ingenuity and an ability to take risks (powerglove,Virtual Boy). Without Nintendo gaming would not have had the legs to get where it is today; a part of the mainstream. As a gamer Jessica lacks a fundamental understanding that as an industry we must know where we came from in order to get where we want to go.

– Boz

So Avril’s getting married eh?

To this guy? I’ve taken shits that look better than he does (this one time, i shat out a turd that looked exactly like an erect penis. it was facinating. wish i took a picture).

Imagine this: a fat, pregnant Avril. Not that she is or is going to be anytime soon (at least i hope not) but it’d definitely be a strange sight no? She doesn’t exactly have child bearing hips i don’t think.

I give this engagement 6 months. Unless of course she marries him next week or something. What next? Hilary Duff marrying Joel Madden?


I always liked Tifa better though. Her’s were bigger.

Did any of you cry when Aeris died in Final Fantasy VII? I remember reading somewhere about how this one guy thought it was the most tragicest thing ever and actually cried. I decided to Google this ‘fact’ to see if anybody else did and holy crap would you look at all these pansies. Grow some balls you pussies. It wasn’t even that sad. Now if Tifa died, i’d probably cry. But Aeris? Aeris can eat shit for all i care.

Also, anybody who thinks FFVII is the best FF game ever is stupid. The best FF game ever was Final Fantasy III on the SNES. And i’m talking about the one with Terra, Locke, Sabin, Edgar, Celes, Shadow, Cyan, Mog et al. That game ruled. All the games that came after it sucked ass and isn’t worth completing. I played Final Fantasy X for a grand total of 16 minutes before deciding it was crap and never touched it again. Stopped playing after i reached the first save point in the game. FFX can eat shit. FFVIII, i only played up until the part where you had to split up your party into groups and lose certain abilities. Fuck that. I hated splitting up in FFIII and i hated splitting up again in FFVIII. So i quit playing. I think i was probably like 90% into the game at that point, right about to storm into the last boss’s castle or something. FFX-2? Bullshit. I’m not even going to touch that crap. Though i did like FFVIIII a lot. Only got up to the start of the second disc then i stopped playing. Just didn’t have the time to play through it all. The only post-FFIII FF game i’ve ever completed was FFVII. Best part of the entire game? When the airship got hit and Tifa fell on her ass, subsequently causing her boobies to bounce and jiggle. Mmmm.

Breast physics in videogames. Best thing to ever happen.

Thank you Team Ninja.



I’m from Puerto Rico. To be famous in PR (and in Latin America) you don’t have to have any type of talent just do exercise and wear a speedo or a bathing suit. Now I don’t like Britney Spears at all. But at least she can dance a little. So for a no talent mall hair hack like chobot trying to be a trendy video gamer who for some reason sells her DS for a PSP because is for 13 year olds, and then she licks it and becomes famous is stuff that should be ignored.

But as much I like to put the blame on IGN I think the blame should be put on RAB and Kotaku, which is the same guy. This hurts alot because I’m a big fan of Kotaku.

Chobot should be put with the curent video game journalism and G4 as the reason nobody is taking video games seriously. Give a Jennfer Taso and Morgan Webb (yes, I believe that she knows video games) over Chobot any day. – Dman

Morgan Webb. Now there’s a true girl gamer. Though she does kind of look like a man if you look at her face from the side. Didn’t Adam Sesslar make fun of her jaw once and she got somewhat pissy about it or something on the air? That’s what i heard somebody tell me. Haha. I love Adam Sesslar. SESSLARRRRRRR! They really should give him his own show. They did a skit once for a fake show that he supposedly left X Play for. I think it was called Meet the Sess. Hilarity.

dman said what I was coming here to say.

Jessica Chobot should drop to her knees and worship at the altar of Brian Crescente every night. She owes everything to him.

The original “OMG she licked a PSP. That is hawt!” post appeared on Kotaku. Evil Avatar later picked it up and Jessica herself posted to the forum and got laughed out of there for her rants that resembled that of a 12 year old. Brian then turns around and gives her a column on RAB and the rest, as they say, is history. He screwed up, and I say this as a huge Kotaku fan.

Is it a little bitterness on my part that someone goes from nobody to huge game journalist because she licked a console? Hell ****in’ yes. I’m extremely bitter that in three months Chobot has become the go-to video game personality. If she appears on 60 Minutes opposite Jack Thompson I might lose it.

But for all my bitterness, I don’t think anyone can dispute that she’s a pisspoor representative for video game journalists or video game players even. – John Scalzo

Fuckin’ A my man. Kotaku can eat shit and die for birthing the hellspawn that is Jessica Chobot. Same goes for RAB too.

We at Double Viking, feel for Justin because he’s right.

Double Viking

God, i hate Jessica Chobot.


Don’t forget to tune in to your local NBC TV station tonight. They’ll be airing that 150 second spot for Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake, due out this December. I believe it’s going to start at 8:59:30pm EST and conclude at 9:02:00. Of course, it’ll probably be uploaded online like, right after it ends. And if you’d like to see the trailer on the big screen, you can catch it right before War of the Worlds when it opens this Wednesday. Dakota Fanning! YAY!


Here’s the trailer! In GLORIOUS Quicktime.


LOL. That’s right! None other than JESSICA CH… hahahaha!! Psyche! Alright you fuckers. I think i’ve fulfilled my one week dream streak of e-shitting on Jessica Chobot. But that doesn’t mean that i won’t be mentioning her every now and again in every other post though! LOLLLLL. Eat it Chobot hater haters! THIS MY SHIT THIS MY SHIT.

I’ve been noticing a couple of search referrals from people looking for an Eve sex tape. You know, Eve. Eve the rapper. She was in the Barbershop movies and i think she has a show on UPN? Just so happens that i got an e-mail two days ago directing me to said possible Eve sex tape.

Link to Possible Eve Sex Tape

Thought you might like this for your site if you haven’t seen it.


Short clip. And personally, i don’t think it’s her. But who knows, i could be wrong. Thanks Jeremy for the heads up.

whoa dude!!


A fren of mine just im’ed me and said basically, “dood, you gotta check out that pepsi girl’s stalker’s site!”

I’m like (of course) WHAT?!

Then I see your site … Calm down man, before her agents have you in f*&king cuffs!!!

But seriously, I just laughed really hard. I mean … sure, she’s hot, and what guy our age wouldn’t want to like … well, totally have her. I am not excluded in that. I’m 27.

Also just wanned to say wassup to the pepsigirl dood. WASSUP!

reply or trash it … whatever man. Rock on!

– Nate

Mmmm. My infamous Pepsi Girl site. Did you know Mandy actually sent me a personally signed autographed copy of the Maxim issue she was in? How cool is that? TOTALLY COOL IS WHAT THAT IS. Actually the mag is still in Michigan. I had Kat tell Mandy to send it over to Smash’s address to have him send it over to me. Didn’t want to have Mandy spend all that $$$ just to send a magazine overseas just for me. Plus Smash still has like 35 of my DVDs with him. So he can send over the mag with the DVDs once he’s done with them. I’ll probably post up pics of the magazine once it gets here. Which should be just in time for Christmas. Yep.

sm4shy: i got mail yesterday
psykotik2k: what say
sm4shy: mandy amano sent you maxim
psykotik2k: hooray!
psykotik2k: yay mandy
psykotik2k: mandy mandy mandy
sm4shy: i think panties are in there

I think Smash is a filthy liar.

idea to kill jc

Now, my idea involves Elisha Cuthbert, Lacy Chabert, a bowl of ice cream, the Nintendo Revolution, some KY Jelly, and a potato. Might as well throw in some of those DK bongos. I don’t know how it goes together, but the potato is the instument that will kill JC. I think if you shove it down her throat it will work, then everyone will be distracted by the hot girls playing an actual gaming system.


I LOVE potatoes! No really, i do! I think potatoes are yummy. I’m not even kidding. I’ve burnt many a finger in my quests to make homemade french fries and potato chips during my college days in Malaysia. I may have blogged about it a few times. Potato is love.

You know what i kinda hate but am amused by at the same time? Morning wood. I had a ridiculous case of morning wood that just wouldn’t go away like two days ago. Keep in mind that this was all while i was still in bed. So it wasn’t like i was up and walking around with a humongous erection or anything. I literally had morning wood for what seemed like hours. Actually it probably was for hours. I woke up and i realized i had wood. I was like oh fuck not again (this tends to happen semi-regularly). Not thinking twice about it, i figured it’d just die down in a coupla minutes. So i went back to sleep. I woke up again like.. i dunno.. maybe an hour later or something and i still had morning wood. So i was like trying to keep the fucker down, silence of the lambing it and whatnot but it just popping up like the soldier that it was. Standing at attention. So i said ah fuck it. And i went back to sleep. I think i woke up again like 2 hours later and I STILL HAD MORNING WOOD. And i’m almost certain that it was the same woody from like 3 hours ago. So now i’m getting a little annoyed because i just wanted it to GO AWAY. I tried thinking unsexy thoughts but fell asleep before i even thought of anything. Then i woke up again like 7 minutes later or something and the morning wood was gone. The end.


Mmmm. My hate for Jessica Chobot. Acknowledged. On The Video Game Ombudsman no less (a most excellent site that i frequent). Though he seems less critical of her than i obviously am (Boo).

I agree with some of these dectractors’ points, but I think some of them were a little extreme.

I wouldn’t happen to be one of those some now would i?

Here’s an anonymous comment:

I don’t get this woman, or the hype around her. She licked a PSP. Big fucking whoopee. Why am I supposed to give a fuck?


Oh and i also got quoted on Broken Toys too.

Comments by Mithrandir:

Didn’t we go over this a few months ago with the Ubisoft “Counterstrike Clan” ?

BTW, thanks for making my day, lol, hilarious, especially the pink poster

Followed up with:

see my above post: I read farther on the pink ranter’s website and it mentioned the group i was talking about and referred to as “Counterstrike Clan.” They are actually called the “fragdolls”

YES. The fucking Frag Dolls. See? Even he knows what’s going on with those faux gamers. The Frag Dolls are like Jessica Chobot multiplied by 7 and 10 times more uglier than Chobot already is. Though i’d probably fuck that Asian one. Mmm. Nerdy Asian fetish. Wait. What the fuck. I’m Asian.

Related: Video Game Truth: FRAG DOLLS — EXCLUSIVE REVIEW

Oh and for fucks sake, this site is purple!!!!! Not pink!!@#$%^ GODDAMMIT!


AIM IM with vaultcomplex 3:27 PM

I thought I would further infuriate you by pointing out the fact that Jessica Chobot or whatever’s latest “article” on IGN is basically a bunch of ads for a few lame websites, plus a link to that silly dancing transformer thing we all saw about a year ago, no mention of video games in her nonsense

CHOBOT!!!!!!!!! *shakes fist*