But first, Jessica Chobot (hate) quote of the day!
Who did she have to sleep with to get that job. I mean come on she licked a PSP and now she is suddenly a well informed gamer fit to make reports at IGN. I have now lost all faith in IGN. The only headline I want to see about Jessica Chobot is: Electrocuted From Licking Her PSP Too Much.
Hear hear!
So i bought Casshern on DVD last night. Only watched the first 45 minutes though. Then i turned it off, went to eat dinner, and then put on Three… Extremes right after. Don’t know why i didn’t continue watching Casshern.
That said, Casshern really feels like a movie made from cutscenes from a videogame. Very Final Fantasy VII-y. Except of course with live action actors mixed in.
Speaking of Final Fantasy VII, i found some Tifa Cosplay porn the other day. The chick even has big boobs. Just like Tifa. I also found some Dead or Alive Cosplay porn (from the same site) but all the chicks had small boobs. Stupid.
Speaking of Dead or Alive, i hear they’re making a live action movie out of it. Starring Devon ‘weird Cthulhuian looking thing’ Aoki of all people.
Devon Aoki is the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe they’d let this freak be in front of cameras. The only reason they do is because her father is the head of Benihana. They should never waste film on this freaky looking alien again. She puts the inbreds in Wrong Turn to shame. Plus she has no boobs. So how the fuck can she be Kasumi. Fucking idiot casting people. Eat shit and die. You too Aoki. And while we’re at it, same goes for you Chobot.
At least Corey Yuen’s directing. If i can stomach Aoki enough, there’ll probably be some worthwhile fight scenes to look forward to.
By the way, Jaime Pressly, she’s going to be Tina Armstrong. Yet another chick with no boobs playing a Dead or Alive character. STUPID.
Speaking of Corey Yuen, i can’t wait for The Transporter 2 to come out. Did you know that Jason Statham’s character is actually gay? I shit you not. He’s supposed to be gay. A faggot. A queer. I swear to God. I have proof.
So back to Three… Extremes. I have it on DVD. Actually my mom bought it while i was still in the US. Only just got around to watching it last night. I think they’re releasing it in the US sometime this year though. You might wanna pick it up. It’s basically three short films directed by three of the best directors from Asia. Namely Takeshi Miike (Audition, Ichi the Killer, Visitor Q), Fruit Chan (actually i have no idea who this guy is) and Chan-Woo Park (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Old Boy and the upcoming Sympathy for Lady Vengeance).
I’ll tell you this, Takeshi Miike’s entry, ‘Box’, pretty much sucks. But it’s got a hot Japanese actress in it so maybe it’s worth watching. It’s shot nice, i’ll give it that. And it also has the usual fucked up stuff that you’ll find in Takeshi Miike flicks, like creepy long haired girls, incest, pedophila and an ending that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
‘Dumpling’ actually made me feel sick. It made me sick in the same way ‘Requiem for a Dream’ made me sick (and that’s a good thing). This movie is disturbing. ‘Dumpling’ on the Three… Extremes DVD is actually a re-edited 37 minute version of the original 90 minute feature length film. I haven’t seen the the 90 minute cut but the 37 minute one works well as it is and i really couldn’t tell that it was a (severely) cut down version of a feature length film. Only found out that it was after looking for reviews of what other people thought of this short. Apparently this short version has a different ending from the feature length cut. And boy, what an ending. I defy you not to cringe and look away.
Oh, the movie is about eating dead aborted baby fetuses by the way.
‘Cut’ was great. It’s kind of like ‘Phone Booth’ meets ‘Saw’. But if you’ve already seen Old Boy and know who Chan-Woo Park is, i probably don’t have to say anything else about this short other than ‘watch it’. Because it’s from Chan-Woo Park.
‘Dumpling’ and ‘Cut’. Highly recommended.
