Monthly Archives: November 2001

ruh roh, here it comes!

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he’s lost his mind. i swear he has. justin, i mean. you’ll agree with me. just as soon as you scroll your little eyes down and see who’s posting this little diddy.

(oh my god.. oh no he didn’t… he wouldn’t… is he mad!!!)

apparently! but damnit i love a guy with balls. i already warned him this would probably cost him the integrity of his site but he said…. anything goes. and so it shall. just as soon as i make it clear not to blame justin in his time of temporary insanity. he still deserves all of the love in our hearts 🙂 (aww.. mushmushmush). actually to be honest i’d really like to thank him for this opportunity. i have a few things i’d like to make clear. and on what better forum than on a site called “bad in a good way” ???

let’s be honest with eachother for a moment, shall we?

apparently in some very, very, very small and insignificant ways i have muddied the water with controversy. or, at least managed to do something (technically nothing) to make a few (very very few and an insignificant number of) people–how can i say this–not happy with me? now the funny thing is, the people who aren’t happy with me are people who i have never spoken a word to before…in my entire life! how do people who have never even met me grow to dislike me? how the hell am i supposed to know?? i never asked them… (never had the opportunity 🙁 )

but i could make a few guesses. is it the fact that i had a couple saline-filled silicone bags shoved under my pectoral muscles at the “tender” age of 16? is it the fact that i adore MAC makeup and wear it like it’s going out of style? is it the fact that my warddrobe has pinks, blacks, and blues sprinkled here and there in it??? or maybe it’s the fact that i have a personal site on the web just like everyone else? oh wait, it must be because i bought a webcam and use it on occasion. yes, those are all *perfectly* good reasons to hate me.

do you buy that? i don’t. mandi speculates that maybe people are just jealous of me, or that they think that i am fake. surprisingly both of these things come as a bit of a shock to me. first because, (remember we’re still being honest), i am not even remotely perfect enough for anyone to be jealous of me, and second, because the only remotely fake thing about me is my cup size. my actual breasts–which consist of mammary tissue–are real. it’s the silicone parts beneath them that don’t exactly occur on their own in nature. but does having ‘fake tits’ make me a fake person? think about it. my tits have no more to do with me as a person than the amount of earwax building up inside of your ears at this very moment has to do with you as a person.

i chose to get them, yes. it was a conscious decision, yes. i had my valid reasons, yes. i am happy with the outcome, yes. they are me and i am them, ….no. they’re just boobs! i wanted bigger ones….. to go along with my child-bearin’ hips and semi-broad shoulders. to bring proportionality to my body, to bring balance. to be able to look in the mirror and think “cool my shirt actually fits today.” ..as a bit of a self-esteem booster, yanno? same reason you goobers get braces, opt for contacts over glasses, try to wash all the acne off of your faces, etc. not to have sexually-frustrated guys drool over them or think anything more or less of me–which is why you’ll never see me “bearing all” (these puppies are staying clothed thankyouverymuch….heh heh, sorry guys!).

so now that it (hopefully) makes sense to you that i am not my boobs, perhaps you can come to the mature conclusion that i am not fake for having them. in fact i’m probably one of the more straight-forward, honest, and open individuals you may ever meet. the day that those qualities equates to being fake is the day …. [insert cliche about hell freezing over–or something along those lines–here]

ok so we’ve established why i did what i did, we’ve established that it bears no relevance to my persona, and we’ve established that i’m not fake. oh, and we’ve also established that you have no need to be jealous of me. i am not a threat, i swear and i promise. i won’t steal your man (already got a great one of my own.. [well, two if you count justin he-he-he kidding! ;)] …not that i’d ever do that anyway :P), i won’t bite you (unless of course you deserve it), and i sure as hell will never get all-up-in-your-face or even all-sneaky-behind-your-back to talk shit about you for no reason. so i’d appreciate it if you did the same for me. sounds cool?

oh, and as if you couldn’t tell by this point, i’m not flawless and i know that. that does not make me stuck-up or snobbish in any way, shape, or form. i am well aware that i have my shortcomings–for one thing, i am long winded. (have ya noticed? have ya? i have a real knack for it!). for another, i have self esteem issues. and yet for another, just to put icing on the cake, i can’t spell for shit. but that doesn’t mean i’m not edjumacated. i may be giggly and hyper and even downright weird at times (sometimes i wonder if i have a tendency towards manic episodes..), but that doesn’t mean my head is full of hot air. i just adore having fun, being fun, and that to me, is enjoying myself to the extent where i ‘hehe’ a lot. does that make sense? i hope so.

ok now i fully realize a lot of the problems people have with me stem from their misunderstandings (or lack of understandings) about me, my intentions, and motivations. it is true these things are not always available in black and white for your reading ‘pleasure.’ which is why, to bring this post to an end, i want to extend myself out for you to contact if you ever have any questions for or about me. don’t be shy. you’ll never get any honest answers if you only talk behind my back. i’m really open to answering anything, as long as your questions aren’t obviously stemming from your hormones or anything like that. my name’s crystal, called stal for short. i’m sinnah on aim/aol, hades_hot_angel@yahoo.com if you’d like to e-mail, and my site is at http://www.fallingdust.net/sinnah/ if you ever want to read up on me before you jump to conclusions or make any unfair assumptions. feel free to contact me any time. i’m almost always online. i live a pathetic existance and i’m damn proud of it (haha not really) so feel free to take advantage of that at any time 😉

lastly, i <3 justin for letting me do this. but someone who i've recently developed an even stronger thing for is "trent" (yeah, you baby ;) ). which is why i have to say this right here and right now. TRENT WILL YOU MARRY ME?????? you can have my babies and we'll name them all after you, it'll be great! ;D haha kidding child, don't get your panties in a bunch :) but please do feel free to contact me so i can spread my lameness all over you like butter on hot sticky buns, baby! thanks for reading kidlets :) hope you feel a little… less tense about me. ;)

Archives

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Somebody once asked me where the link to my archives are. Specifically the GreyMatter-ed posts archive. It’s kinda hard to see but if you look closely, you’ll see a link that says 2001 and beyond to the left on the sidebar thing. Under the archives section. That’s where the older posts are.

Anyway, if you look just above that row of heads up there near the top of the site, there’s a little notice that says:

Wanna access the archived GreyMatter-ed posts?: HERE’S THE LINK.

Pretty obvious if you ask me. I don’t see how anybody could miss that.

Last night

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La di da.

So i’m checking out my page stats and what do i see? 4986 hits total for yesterday. They probably have a lot to do with the fact that steakandcheese plugged my site yesterday so big ups to Kap for doing so and also the kind words that he had to say about this piddly little site of mine.

And apparently he also had something to do with this:

—————
Fullname: Kate
Email: carrots@phobia.co.uk
Where are you from?: London
Comments: so you used to be an english boy? good for you. are you planning on coming back and spelling words the correct way once more or staying where you are and continuing to plague the world with dropped vowels? spiff to the page though…. nice…. angeline jolie was a touch of class I’m glad you came up with because she’s fucking awesome and if I could only get her to agree to come to my house….. ah what fun we could have. congrats. and thanks to kap for helping me find my way here.
—————

Yep. I used to live in England. Ages ago. And the only few things i can remember from my time living there are as follows:

  • My dad trying to get me to sit on some huge black lion thing somewhere in the city.
  • My neighbor (i think) hitting me on the head with a toy machine gun and making me cry.
  • A big fat black and white cat that i used to love.
  • Being in a a taxi and and telling the taxi driver to ‘go left’.
  • ET.
  • Postman Pat and his black and white cat.
  • Looking like this.

    I was around 2-3 years old. I can’t remember that far back that well.

    Believe it or not, for pretty much all my life, i’ve actually been brought up and educated British style. Which is to say that i’ve been educated with the British education system. You know… IGCSE’s, O Levels, A Levels… that crap. And yes, i actually do know how to spell words like honor and color the right way.

    But why take all that extra effort to type in that one extra letter when you can spell the same word with just five?

    Anyway, since i’m in WMU now, which is a decidedly American college, they kinda encourage you to spell words the American way and not the British way.

    Which is no problem for me. Anything that takes off the work of actually having to type in certain vowels into certain words is fine by me.

    I went down to KL last night. Had to drop off some luggage for my uncle to bring back home with him. So that i don’t have to lug around too much stuff when i fly back home next month. He’s here on a business trip for a coupla days so i dropped by the hotel he was staying at and dumped the stuff with him.

    Went walking around KL after that. Ended up at the Sungei Wang mall trying to look for quality bootleg DVD’s that i could hopefully buy. Much to my disappointment, while there were quite a lot of bootlegged DVD’s for sale and shit, none of them were of the DVD-9 variety. They were ALL on DVD-5’s. Meaning that only the movie itself has been ripped onto the disc with probably 90% of the extras missing. Plus, they all have shitty packaging.

    There’s a difference between the bootleg DVD’s that you can get here in Malaysia. You generally wanna buy the one’s that’re printed on DVD-9’s. The can hold more information (9 gigs of shit), they have better picture and sound quality, they pretty much have almost all the extras as the legit versions and they have packaging that’s a complete reproduction of the original. With the exception being that there’s a ‘DVD-9’ sticker stuck on there somewhere.

    The bootlegs that’re on DVD-5’s are pretty much the total opposite of what i’ve described up there. They’re pretty easy to spot. Just look for this shitty packaging.

    It’s kinda hard to find ‘perfect’ bootlegs since there’s always something missing, be it the commentary or a documentary or the menu being misaligned and fucked up sometimes… etc etc… so i tend to stick with originals. Plus bootlegs don’t have any liner notes. I dunno about you, but i like the liner notes that come with every DVD. It’s just not the same to open up a bootleg DVD and not seeing those inlays in there with the disc. Which, again, is why i prefer buying originals.

    Of course, originals cost about 7 to 9 times as much which really really sucks… (bootleg DVD-9’s only cost RM$15 = US$3.90 as opposed to RM$139+ – RM$200+ for an original)… but hey, that’s just the way it is over here. Stupid country.

    Can’t wait to get to the States where the DVD’s are a whole lot more cheaper than anything you can get over here. Originals too. And Region 1.

    ANYWAY.

    So i didn’t get any DVD’s last night. I did however get to see a whole lot of PS2 and GameCube games on display all over the place. There’re quite a number of videogame stores over there. And fucking hell man. Metal Gear Solid 2 is out! Shit. I want that game. But i don’t have a PS2.

    And the GameCube! I want one too!

    Man. I hope i can raise enough money to get myself a PS2. I’ve already earned US$112 so far promoting and selling these t-shirts. And it’s only been just over a month since i started doing that!

    If things keep going the way they are for about two more months, i might even be able to afford to buy a GameCube! Or better yet, a PS2!

    I think it’s time to retire my Dreamcast. It’s deader than Zil.

    Been playing a lot of 4 player Tennis 2K2 and Bomberman Online.

    But face it, it just doesn’t compare to being able to play bigger and better games that’re on the GC or the PS2. The Dreamcast is dead. My PS is literally dead (i have 2 and both have broken down).

    I need a new system.

    HELP MY RAISE MONEY TO BUY A PS2 OR A GAMECUBE. BUY A SHIRT.

    I get 4 bucks for every shirt you buy. SO BUY A SHIRT.

    BETTER YET. BUY 300 SHIRTS.

    I picked up the original Chinese version of Iron Monkey on VCD last night on my way back. Original meaning that it’s the 1993 version and not the 2001 re-release version.

    I’m not sure if they changed the soundtrack or spruced up the sound effects for the 2001 version but damn, the ’93 version sure is corny as hell. After watching the 2001 American re-release trailer with all the fancy techno music and shit and watching the ’93 right after, with the old ’93 music and sound effects, it’s just… bleh.

    And i just didn’t like the movie because of that. It was just so… 1993.

    I loved Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I didn’t think it was silly at all. Despite people flying about all over the place. But geez, Iron Monkey is just ridiculous.

    I also bought a PC game last night. Return To Castle Wolfenstein. For what only amounts to US$2.

    Har har.

    2 bucks. Isn’t that just great?

    • Logging in

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    1

    AAAHHH.

    —————
    To: psykotik@gmail.com
    Subject: login id
    From: “nick pangelinan” Add to Contacts
    Date: Tue, Nov 27 2001 5:37:32 PM +1000

    i was reading youre post about logging into youre site and i was wondering
    ,so can any one just request to sign up or do you give special access
    permission. is there an entrance exam?
    —————

    Why do people want to log into my site?? Seriously, there are NO Olsen twins pictures back there!

    Actually, there’re only 5 people out there who have access to this site. Will (who can never seem to remember his own password) has full access, there’s dead Zil. She’s dead. There’s the always wonderful Thess. I <3 her. She's great. There's also Nick and of course, there’s the mysterious FMPS2002. Who in reality is just Bence. He runs this site called CNN or some shit like that.

    And they all have breasts in one way or another. Well except for Will. He just looks like Gary Oldman.

    “EEEEEEEVVVVVVERRRRYYYYOONNNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!” – Gary Oldman, Leon The Professional.

    They’re not exactly ‘members’ per say. It’s not like i have multiple posters on the site or anything. I just give them access to it so they can post here whenever they like. They don’t have an obligation to post here everyday. I’d like to think of them as ‘freelance posters’. I’ve especially chosen these people to be able to post here because i know i’m bigger than all of them and i don’t have to worry about them stealing my thunder. Har har.

    I’m just kidding okay.

    Actually no, i chose them because they all are special (not in a retarded way). And because most of them have breasts. In one way or another. And also because it’s always good to have a Gary Oldman lookalike have full access to your site.

    I need a wittier closing to this post.

    See?

    Posted on by
    2

    —————
    Fullname: stacey
    Homepage URL: stezsie.cjb.net
    Comments: hello justina, i know you’re right there but no, im not going to scare you again. i have nothing to say! oh yes, go to my website!
    —————

    She just signed my guestbook. See? Told you she does it on purpose. Scare me i mean.

    I personally think she’s trying to get back at me for all the times i stalked her during high school.

    Brutal

    Posted on by
    2

    Stacey just walked by me (and slightly scaring the shit out of me again).

    She kinda broke a chair at the same time too.

    She just innocently bumped into a chair. And seriously bent one of it’s legs.

    It’s a metal leg.

    How in the world did she even manage that i don’t even know.

    And she blamed me. I didn’t even do anything!

    Brutal.

    Tsk tsk tsk

    Posted on by
    2

    Look at this. People who’ve been trying to log into my GreyMatter thing.

    [11/26/01 08:55 PM] [203.24.77.214] Invalid login attempt: No such author as rizer (lizard) registered
    [11/27/01 06:10 AM] [152.163.206.188] Invalid login attempt: No such author as gobri (static) registered
    [11/27/01 06:54 AM] [12.145.224.98] Invalid login attempt: No such author as khits96 (96.3) registered

    Seriously. There aren’t any pictures of the Olsen twins back there!