Monthly Archives: April 2003

Ode to Layout: A poem by Cleo

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22

So long I went without an electronic outlet of my own,
Dabbling on other people’s sites with no home,
And then Will came along (with sweet nocturnal nothings),
To come and take me out of the internet cold.

I remember well this black-and-tan of my early days
FUBAR of my memory is Angelina then Drew came in,
And though those weren’t the greatest I would do ’em,
Justin you took away the porn, at least let us keep Women

So yes I met my host through this site’s dvd, gamer guru,
(Who only tried to beard-paste and buttfuck me one time)
But I guess the honors of introduction go to Indian Name
Loves Dunst But Would Go To Jail For a Piece of Bynes

Soon I had a site and posted as often as I was sane,
What a wonder, I can keep my tits undercover
And the camboys, oh, the few the fun the really young,
Became my own topless e-harem of photolovers.

It doesn’t take too long to figure webmastering out,
IM pastes and smiley face and jealousy abound
Cybercliques and cyberpricks, do anything, but do avoid
Bringing too many older Internet Gossip folks around.

Months later I am well schooled in the old hallowed ways
Of stencilling a name (they’re all the same) on my skin.
And they say man, that means that I’m a true fan,
But it just means I know that a pretty face is the easiest in.

The most shocking thing a girl could learn while surfing
Is the age of the breasts that load 2000 times a day
Now I come back to ol’ FUBAR to see another naked kid,
So when did an Amanda become different from a Nay?

Dns error, constellate is down like a camgirl’s chin,
So let me appeal against the horror of youth and the Ring,
Remember that double-ended dildo scene in Dream?
Yeah, let’s toss up some Jennifer Connelly on that thing.

Who’s with me?

connelly (36k image)

Amanda Bynesssss

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25

AmngStarz: doode that pic you put on the left up top
AmngStarz: scary as fuck
AmngStarz: she looks too perfect
AmngStarz: psycho
AmngStarz: scary
AmngStarz: like shes gonna bite me
AmngStarz: im serious

Dionysus742: the top left pic of bynes on the site is starting to freak me out
Dionysus742: its looks doctored or some shit, her eyes look soul-less or some crap
Dionysus742: evell i tell you

Vassilios10420: i dont like seeing that chick when i pull your site up
Vassilios10420: she looks to young man

—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: Avril Withdrawls
From: “Nick” dionysus187@msn.com
Date: Sun, Apr 6 2003 7:29:56 PM -0400

Apparently thanks to your site I’m developed an addiction to seeing avril. Now that you changed your site layout (had your page as homepage) its really fucking with my head. I’ve had to get a massive collection of avril pictures and look at them 3 times daily to stay sane. Seeing bynes isn’t cutting it either. Especially that picture at the top left of her smiling, she’s fcking possessed. Bring back avril or I’ll have to take drastic measures that have yet been conceived by man.
—————

Update:

PacManJesus: now that people mention it, that picture in the upper left is thuroughly frightening
PacManJesus: she looks like she can see into my soul and suck all that is good straight out of me

Girls don’t?

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42

06/4/03 3:08 PM
psykotik2k: so. do girls really sweat under their boobs. i’ve always wondered.
Teflon Parakeet: Girls don’t sweat.
psykotik2k: lol

(flashes back to…)

28/1/02 4:47 PM
Teflon Parakeet: everybody knows that girls dont poop
Teflon Parakeet: or fart
Teflon Parakeet: or sweat

Update:

06/4/03 3:15 PM
l2icochet: in minescule amounts, there is boob sweat. Jen lies.

I wonder…

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9


psykotik2k: i wonder what avril’s nipples look like
psykotik2k: i bet they’re like natalie portman’s
Teh Bubba: i bet they’re like my nipples…
psykotik2k: sexy
Teh Bubba: indeed
psykotik2k: hairy nipples
psykotik2k: i wonder if she plucks her hairy nipples
Teh Bubba: i wouldn’t if i were her.
Teh Bubba: hairy nipples are punk!
psykotik2k: i wonder if she has a hairy butt
Teh Bubba: or hairy palms…
psykotik2k: i wonder if her legs are hairy
Teh Bubba: i wonder if her toes are hairy
psykotik2k: i wonder if her armpits smell
Teh Bubba: i wonder what kind of smell her armpits would emit…
Teh Bubba: i wonder if they smell like avocados. mmmmm…avocados…
psykotik2k: i wonder if she sweats alot
Teh Bubba: i bet she does, i bet she does.
psykotik2k: i wonder if she sweats under her boobs
Teh Bubba: mmmm…sweaty boobs.
psykotik2k: i wonder if she’ll suck my dick
Teh Bubba: mmmmm…..your dick…no wait…

Gay Bubba. Gay.

She looks good in a skirt though no?

IMs and e-mails

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33

I was bored. So i decided to unblock the people that weren’t already on my buddylist so that they could IM me. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be me, and what kinds of IMs i usually get, well…

30/3/03 10:39 PM
Tyler560: why won’t treble chager come to the states?

23/3/03 10:38 AM
perutaisgod: r u avril lavigne

02/4/03 5:13 PM
FuguePartisan: he was a man… well, more like a dragon-man… or maybe just a dragon- but he was stil TROGDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

04/4/03 11:54 PM
AJisKewl: The smiling frog winks at me….then frees his young companions
AJisKewl: Please, the elephant has a brain Tumor

02/4/03 3:25 PM
juice2027: i wanna know.. how many times you have been random messaged since u unblocked everybody….
juice2027: e-pimp.

28/3/03 11:30 PM
WhackedSka: so your not avril?
WhackedSka: so your not really avril?
WhackedSka: see your not cuz avril would answer back, defending her avrilness
WhackedSka: your a poser

02/4/03 6:04 PM
NorthKoreanP0wer: how do i become as cool as you?

04/4/03 10:46 PM
ObsesiveInsanity: youre avril lavigne right?

Sigh.

So i got this e-mail a coupla days ago.

—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: hey im sorry
From: “Beth Dougherty” beth_157@hotmail.com
Date: Sat, Mar 29 2003 5:21:18 AM +0000

hey, i know you dont really know me but i have kinda talking to u on AIM, my name is beth, my screen name is BrandX2wo my friend joe had givin me your screen name and told me that you yourself were avril, n then i went to your site n i realized you werent, i am a big fan of hers n im sorry if i caused u any inconvenience. i would like it if u would email me back n let me know u got this email alright… thank you

sincerely,

beth
—————

Aww. Poor girl. Anyhow, i figured i’d just try IMing her and talking to her. Just to see if she’s new girlfriend material. Haha. I kid. She’s like what, 16. That’s like Suzi’s age. EW. Anyway, so i’m talking to this girl and we’re talking about Avril and how she wants to hump her (she bisexual apparently) and then she direct connects to me and sends me a picture of herself! And i didn’t even have to ask!

  • 16 year old Beth

    I don’t think she’ll mind me posting that pic up. I mean she has the same pic on her Hot or Not page and this Bang Me thingy that she has. Kinda like Hot or Not. So yeah. It’s not like you can’t find that pic online or anything.

    You know, sometimes i wonder why i don’t just go out there and take advantage of these kiddies and get them to just send me pictures of their naked boobs. I’m sure they probably would. I mean, look, i didn’t even have to ask her for that pic! And remember that balloon girl? The 14 year old? She sent me a picture of herself in a bikini top sitting in front of a birthday cake! And i didn’t even have to tell her to do that for me!

    Damn me for being such a nice guy and not wanting to take advantage of my power!

    02/4/03 3:33 PM
    DrunkenGorg: Hey, this is the guy from theRut.org. You were posting soemthing about emo earlier, and I found this… http://www.dobi.nu/emo

    Hahaha. Speaking of EMO…

    —————
    To: psykotik@gmail.com
    Subject: Possibly Faggot Looking EMO sighting
    From: “Nick” dionysus187@msn.com
    Date: Thu, Apr 3 2003 5:54:48 AM -0500

    I don’t know if you heard/seen this band called AFI on MTV but i saw them twice with some song thats apprently a prelude to something (ghey).

    Anyway i couldn’t really understand WTF they were singing about but it sounded like he was saying “i will follow” a lot and yelling words for a long time but he didn’t sound like the devil when he did it so I assume its some kind of EMO crap. On top of that the lead singer had hair down to his ass and the guitarest had a dykie looking haircut and it was a dude. And at some point in the song when he wasn’t yelling crap him and the guitarest were really into each other staring at one another. The drummer and other guitarest weren’t getting much camera time so I assume they were the sex gimps of the other two.
    —————

    You’re probably talking about A Fire Inside. How do i know this? Google of course. Did you really think i’d know anything about music at all aside from Avril Lavigne?

    Ooh ooh. Speaking of Avril Lavigne, how about that new video of hers eh? Especially that part where she stagedives into the crowd. I was watching her ‘making the video’ thing for that video and she was like saying how the guys in the crowd were like groping her and grabbing her ass and stuff and i was like “AHH I WISH I GOT TO GROPE AND GRAB HER ASS!!”. But oh well.

    —————
    To: psykotik@gmail.com
    Subject: I made a game.
    From: “Will Boyd” will@gearfactory.net
    Date: Thu, Apr 3 2003 7:21:11 PM -0500

    Hey Justin. Remember that half Korean webmaster from Gear Factory? Yeah, it’s me.

    I made this game called Align 4. I’m all proud of it because it’s my first public software release. Anyway, I’m freely distributing the game as freeware, and I was wondering if you could help me spread the word by plugging my game on your site.

    URL for the game: http://www.gearfactory.net/align4.php

    By the way, I added your link back to Gear Factory. I took it down a long time ago when your site seemed to be gone (which, looking back, seems to happen a lot), and never got around to putting it back up. But then, I’d feel guilty asking you for a plug without even linking to your site, so I took care of that.

    Later.

    Will Boyd
    www.gearfactory.net
    —————

    Anyway, that’s it for now kiddies. And remember girls, SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS. Voluntarily of course.