For the safety of your own thoughts and feelings, if your name is Zoe, you DO NOT want to click on ‘more’. If you choose to, then it’s your choice. Just don’t say that i didn’t warn you.

For everyone else, you’re probably better off not reading this post either. I just wrote it for me. But hey, it’s your CHOICE. Read it if you want to. Just don’t give me any shit for it if you don’t agree with what i have to say.

Continue reading →

18/4/03 7:22 PM
Auto response from psykotik2k: ALL THE DUCKS ARE SWIMMING IN THE WATER
AmngStarz: i do not like that away mesage
AmngStarz: its scary
AmngStarz: SCARY

No it’s not.

Falderalderaldo falderalderaldo! (14.4 megs)

Welp. I done gone did it.

Perhaps i’ll fill you in on all the details later.

Or perhaps i’ll go dig a hole for myself to crawl into now. Haha.

It’s probably like, the lamest thing i’ve ever done OR it’s probably like, the lamest thing i’ve ever done. No two ways about it.

But at least i got to see her smile. So it was worth it.

Sigh. The silly things i do sometimes…

Okay more like random facts.

I need new shoes. Believe it or not, i only have ONE pair of shoes. I’ve been wearing the same pair of shoes for the past year. Actually when i first got here to Michigan, i had these leather boots that we got from England back in 1995 or something like that. Of course, i only started wearing them like 6 years later because seriously, why would anybody wanna wear boots in Brunei. There’s no snow in Brunei. So yeah, i came to Michigan with those boots. Wore them for about 2 months before they started falling apart (The soles kinda came loose. Stupid boots) so i had to get another pair of shoes. Went to Meijers and got myself a new pair that cost like.. i dunno. 70 bucks? Or something like that. Nothing fancy. Hell i don’t even know what brand they are. No-name pair of shoes. But they’ve been good to me. I like my shoes. But they’re starting to fall apart. Sigh. I need new shoes.

So i like this girl. She’s in my intercultural communications class. Blonde. Blue eyes. Probably about 5’5, 5’6. Never spoken a word to her. Well maybe just once. We had to get into groups and we were introducing ourselves to each other. That’s pretty much it really. She seems nice. I *would* like to get to know her better. But eh. I only have like what? Just over a week left before i leave the country? I tend to do pretty stupid things around times when i’m ‘about to leave’.

Like for example, in highschool. I think it was about like, two weeks before i was gonna quit my A levels, leave school and just go straight to college. There was this hot new girl that’d just moved to the school from ISB. She had a pretty hot friend too. Whatshername. Camilla. Yeah. The friend. The hot girl, her name was Jeanne. Okay that’s a pretty bad pic but trust me, at the time, she was really hot. Hottest girl in school even. So on her first day of class, this kid Daniel was supposed to be her ‘guide’. Showing her around school and stuff. But he didn’t want to. So i graciously stepped in to take his place. Haha. Anyway, we started hanging around each other a bit. And it became like the biggest ‘thing’ in school that i ever did. Actually the second biggest thing. I think the first was when i started going out with Mira. That two timing bitch. No wait. Second would be when i got with Izzati, another ‘hot new girl’. She eventually became known to be my ‘psycho ex’. No wait. Maybe it was the time when Stephanie started stalking me. Oh i don’t know. Anyway, yeah, Justin walking around school with a hot girl. It was a big deal. I actually posted about what happened during those two weeks in detail. You can probably find it in the archives. Start reading after Tuesday, July 18, 2000. If you want. It’s pretty lame though. My old posts suck. Sigh.

Anyhow, looking back on that, i really have no idea why i even bothered. I guess we were both just fucking each other over. Haha. Not literally though. But yeah, honestly, i seriously doubt she was into the whole thing. Neither was i really. I mean come on, what could’ve possibly happened after those two weeks were over. I was gonna be in another country soon after that. So really, despite what i said in those old posts, most of it was all just manufactured. A ‘storyline’ i guess. Something i did on the site (and in real life) to go out with a bang. Actually it was really more of a whimper considering the fact that none of it was really ‘real’. She was into it out of pity and i was just doing it to look good. Haha. I’ll never do anything stupid like that ever again though.

Another stupid thing that i once did. April 2001. I’m back in Brunei for like, a month (i think?). Semester break. And two weeks before i’m supposed to go back to Malaysia, i hook up with Sophie. So yeah, two week whirlwind ‘relationship’. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into. We knew that things probably wouldn’t work out with the long distance and stuff. So i gave her the option of just ending things after those two weeks. But then she says that she’s willing to give it a try and wait for me. I’d be back in August. Only a four month wait. So we go through with the long distance relationship thing.

Everything was hunky dory.

Then. A day before my final exams. A week before i’m supposed to be back in Brunei to see her again, she cheats on me. Sigh. Oh well.

You can read about the whole ‘i got cheated on’ saga if you look in the archives and start reading from Wednesday, August 1, 2001 onwards.

Oh and i made a pretty good post on July 29 2001 too. My Chasing Amy story.

I used to blog more back then didn’t i? I don’t do it anymore because i highly doubt any of you guys would give a shit about what’s going on in my life (or the lack of it). So yeah, i doubt anybody’s gonna even read this post so i guess i’m just writing this post for myself.

Anyhow. So yeah, she cheated on me. I have all the luck with women. Sigh.

I mentioned Stephanie up there. The stalker. Yes. I had a stalker in school. And this is the story.

So like, i’m like (literally) minding my own business in the learning center right, doing my business homework (hah!) for business class (told you it was literal). Then fat Jeff comes up to me and he has Stephanie with him. Apparently they’d just met like a day before or something and then he introduces me to her. “That’s Justin”. And then she goes “Ohh. so this is the mysterious Justin..”

wtf.

Anyway, so we all sit. He’s next to me. And she’s on the other end next to him. I started cracking jokes and making fun of fat Jeff. Some stupid joke about firemen and police and donuts. And she just cracks up laughing her ass off. Each time i made a joke, she’d just be laughing and laughing.

Hey i’m funny but i know i’m not that funny.

Anyhow, over time, she kinda switches places with Jeff and suddenly she sitting next to me instead. Then it was time for us to head off to class and i’m like “nice to meet you” and stuff.

And we’re all off on our way.

So then the next day, i’m walking up the stairs to one of my classes right, and i see Stephanie walking down the stairs coming towards me. I just give her a little nod and a smile, you know, to acknowlegde her presence and stuff. Then, right as she walks by, she TAPS my ass.

I was like thinking “HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT”.

I look back and she smiles. And i was like. Okay. And i just brush it off.

So then later that day, during lunchtime, as i’m walking towards the cafeteria, i see her coming towards me from the cafeteria. And she’s like, “Oh hey, where’re you off to?” and i’m like “Oh, just gonna get some lunch” and she’s like “Oh can i join you?” and i’m like “Yeah sure. Have you eaten?” and she’s like “Yeah but it’s okay, i’ll keep you company”.

And that. Was when it began.

So over the next two weeks or so. She just keeps ‘mysteriously’ bumping into me all over the place. Always tagging along and always by my side following me around. And people were starting to notice.

You know, it was nice for a while. All that attention. It was nice. But you see, she’s always had this reputation for being a little ‘unstable’ so to speak. Apparently there was in one time in her art class where she just had a mental breakdown or something. And she’s also been known to sorta talk to herself.

…

And sometimes, when she’s talking about stuff, like this one time, she was telling me about her mom and how she doesn’t like her, she got so worked up and she just became sorta… wow. Psycho. Man. That was scary.

Anyhow, so people were starting to notice ‘us’ and i got a liiiittle uncomfortable with all the attention she was giving and all the attention that we were getting. Plus i just didn’t like her in that way you know? And she was kinda coming on a little too strong. But i was just too nice to let her know that.

Gosh, there was this one time, i was with all my buddies in the learning center just talking about stuff. There were probably about like 8 or 9 of us at the table. And then Stephanie just comes up to me out of nowhere crying her eyes out because she was stressed out about something or whatever and she’s laying her head on my shoulder and then on my lap and then everyone just went all quiet. And we were all like, wtf.

Goodness. Was that ever awkward or what.

So one day, i just decided to let her know that enough was enough. That it was getting a little too uncomfy. We were walking past this one group of people and they were all like looking at us and going “oooooh” and shit and i was like “omg kill me now”. Okay i didn’t actuallly say that but i sure was thinking it.

She just started laughing and i think at that point she kinda got the hint that i was just a liiiittle bit embarassed by her following me around everywhere. And she was like, “You feeling okay?” and i was like “Not reeaally, it’s just…”

“Uncomfortable?”

“Yeeeah.. i mean, i do like the attention and all but it’s kinda getting to be a bit much.”

And she just laughs it off and tells me that she’ll back off.

And that was that.

She just stopped following me around after that day.

End of story? Not quite yet.

See. The next day, she started stalking Marcus.

And long story short, he got freaked by the stalking and told her to fuck off.

So then she starts stalking Dan Fanselow. And he got freaked out by her stalking and i guess he told her to fuck off too.

So then she starts stalking Dan Bell (Sophie’s brother).

And lol. Dan and her actually became boyfriend and girlfriend! Hahaha. She was his first ever girlfriend i think. I think he was desperate.

Oh boy.

Gosh there’s so much more to that story. Especially with what happened after they both got together. But. It’s too long a story and you just had to be there to get it. Maybe next time eh?

Notice how everything stupid always seems to happen within the span of two weeks?

Anyhow. I’ve rambled on for far too long.

Point is. I need new shoes. And i do lots of stupid stuff whenever i’m about to leave someplace. I have bad luck with women.

And that i had a stalker once.

And i’m about to do something stupid on Friday. Sigh. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe i’ll post about it if i ever get around to doing it.

Anyone got any stalker stories to share?

update:

Bonus highschool girls pics!

I have a new girlfriend!

Serious! Listen!

Okay i lie. That’s just Cici.

Sigh.

So like, i’m going back home to the other side of the world on the 26th. Actually i’ll be stopping off in Singapore first. Leaving on the 26th and arriving there on the 28th. Then i’m off to Brunei the next day. I think. I dunno. I might be in Singapore for a day or two. Not sure yet. But hey, if that’s the case, then maybe some of you Singaporean readers might wanna meet up or something. Or not.

So i’ll be back home for the summer. And then i’ll be back in Michigan in the fall. August 26th. Those of you who have my number, you can gimme a call if you want between now and the 26th. To say bubye or something. I dunno. It’ll be quite a while before y’all’ll be able to hear my voice again. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Haha.

In other news:

15/4/03 6:48 AM
b00f3d: dude fuck you
b00f3d: change the splash screen

15/4/03 5:14 AM
pangwinking: god damn it, the layout it starting to fucking freak me out, first it was the whole talking thing, wich made me almost shit myself, and now that damn screen comes up before the homepage wich scared the shit outta me…..hasn’t it been 7 days yet?!

15/4/03 12:45 AM
mCtRip21: AHH THE RING
mCtRip21: WHAT IS THAT?
mCtRip21: TAKE IT AWAY
mCtRip21: *Crys*
mCtRip21: put hot sexy pants back up
mCtRip21: take that shit down
mCtRip21: im afraid to goto your site now

15/4/03 4:21 AM
the feline punk: “everyone will suffer” REEAAAARAAARRR

15/4/03 4:43 AM
PacManJesus: the only thing that can scare us more then Amanda Bynes is that… thing
PacManJesus: make it go away

15/4/03 3:16 AM
LA SHoTIMe: thanks for giving me nightmares

Five days ago i had this wav file embedded on the main page. Not sure if all of you got to hear it but Thess sure did. Hahaha.

10/4/03 1:11 AM
TeflonParakeet: FUCKING GODDAMN HELL JUSTIN
TeflonParakeet: the wav on your site
Teflon Parakeet: jesus
Teflon Parakeet: christ on a stick

Anyhow. People. You all complain that Amanda’s too young. And that she’s scary looking. So what do i do? I go for someone even younger and scarier looking just to fuck you all over! Hahaha. Yes i am a genius.

Okay not really.

Okay let’s talk about Amanda Bynes.

(Highly inappropriate thought of the day: “Mmm. Boobies”)

PacManJesus: have you seen any of the pic of her smiling
PacManJesus: that is the fugliest thing ever
PacManJesus: she is like Avril with no sleep for a week and bad makeup to cover it up

(I’m going to jail thought of the day: “I’d tap that”)

TeflonParakeet: Y’know.
Teflon Parakeet: I really don’t like her smile.
Teflon Parakeet: It doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
Teflon Parakeet: Which is a shame, since she’s beautiful.

So, what? Is she scary? Beautiful? Fugly?

Sigh.

For the record, i’ve actually never seen any of Amanda’s work. Not even while channel surfing. I’ve never seen any of her shows and i’ve never seen any of her movies. So it’s like, having not ever watched Full House and not being able to feel guilty about the Olsen Twins since i never ‘knew’ them when they were still kids.

(actually they’re all still kids regardless of that fact but let’s just forget about that and pretend that my argument is valid)

In closing, i would just like to say:

PEDOPHELIA IS BAD!

Hello. Just so you all know, i’m still alive. I’ve just been super busy with school and stuff. Papers, debates, presentations, projects etc etc. Plus i’ve got my finals coming up next week.

I don’t really have much to post about yet. Maybe tonight. We’ll see.

Anyhow. So this kid right, he IMs me. And i don’t reply. And he keeps IMing me. For over 3 hours.

3 hours.

On and off. And he just doesn’t quit.

Because he thinks i’m Amanda Bynes you see.

13/4/03 8:59 PM
ruagahsa: Hi asl
ruagahsa: Hello
ruagahsa: u there
ruagahsa: r u a gurl
ruagahsa: i guess u r a gurl
ruagahsa: u r a gur;
ruagahsa: who r u
ruagahsa: r u Amanda Bynes
ruagahsa: probably r ignoring a fan
ruagahsa: yes i will bug until u answer
ruagahsa: plz anwer
ruagahsa: plz answer
ruagahsa: r u Amanda Bynes
ruagahsa: if u r how old r u
ruagahsa: r u a guy
ruagahsa: with that sn u could never kno gurls r psykotic also
ruagahsa: fine u just kno how to make a guy feel baf
ruagahsa: bad*
ruagahsa: but if ur a guy
ruagahsa: i hope u dont think i am gay
ruagahsa: cuz i aint
ruagahsa: u dont talk much’
ruagahsa: plz talk to me r u Amanda
ruagahsa: ur probably not gonna pay attention to me
ruagahsa: darn
ruagahsa: wat if i said u r mean
ruagahsa: plz talk to me
ruagahsa: how a bout lets start this talk over
ruagahsa: Hi i am JOzef
ruagahsa: and u r
ruagahsa: i am 13 m az
ruagahsa: and u r
ruagahsa: ok lets start over again
ruagahsa: Hi
ruagahsa: wats up
ruagahsa: how come u wont talk
ruagahsa: today is my last day talkin on the computer plz talk
ruagahsa: r u Amanda Bynes
ruagahsa: r u Amanda
ruagahsa: sry Amanda
ruagahsa: i didnt mean to bug u
ruagahsa: i will leave u alone now even though u r not there
ruagahsa: do u kno how to get on all that
ruagahsa: Amanda u there
ruagahsa: or in other words Hello
ruagahsa: Hello
ruagahsa: is this Amanda
ruagahsa: u there
14/4/03 12:02 AM

Alright, alright. I realize my last post was awful. I have no idea what possessed me to even post, especially for the first time on FUBAR, a stupid, stupid limerick. I think we all agree it was inane (yes, “inane.” My grammar is for the most part okay).

So, to make it up, I decided to to a post on something pressing in my life for, oh… *looks at watch* about the last four hours. The subject: rebound guys. Now, by posting this on Justin’s site, I’m in no way insinuating that Justin is “on the rebound,” even though some might suggest that it implies Justin. In fact, I currently have a serious interest in a guy that happens to suddenly be on the proverbial rebound, and so it gave me an inspiration for a more interesting and palatable post. I certainly hope that all of you (especially the FUBARettes) at least enjoy it. Now, to business.

As far as I can figure, there are four types of “Rebound Guy”: the fourth appears to not be on the rebound at all, and can also be split into a subgroup of not appearing to be on the rebound, but instantly gets with a girl after a breakup (often for simple companionship, just as often to release some sort of pent-up sexual angst). Therefore, Type Four won’t be discussed in this particular survey, since they’re pretty easy to figure out.

Type One: “Holy Crap, I’m Single Again”
Type One is probably the most similar to Type Four in that they appear – and remember, I said appear – to be completely fine. In front of his friends, he tries his hardest to remain the same guy he always was, but inside his emotions and anguish rend him limb from limb. Type One, unlike Type Four, will feign satisfaction with being single, when in fact he is secretly terrified of it. Type One usually occurs after long relationships, whereas Type Four usually happens after short relationships, or ones that end particularly badly, but in his favor.

Pros: Doesn’t worry his friends, family, or co-workers too much.
Cons: Bottles his emotions, is very needy, needs to find himself, depends too much on relationships to get him through hard times in life. Often emotionally overbearing on women he finds attractive, especially if left untreated after long periods of time.

Type Two: “I Just Need to Talk to Someone Right Now”
Type Two, in my opinion, is a great middle ground as far as Rebound Guys go. Granted, the guy’s pretty fucked up right now and pretty emotional. However, he keeps a level head about the issue, even if his emotions are everywhere, and is able to talk sensibly. This particular type is very stable, even if he seems unstable right now, and is the most likely to heal quickly. He is in harmony with his feelings, and though he knows he might be a little over-emotional with his problems, he doesn’t try to bother everyone with it. He just needs to cry his guts out to SOMEBODY, and he’ll probably choose someone he trusts a lot (if drunk, anyone who’ll listen will do).
[Type 2 b: Like Type Two, he’s got a level head: but don’t expect him to talk about his emotions until long after he’s calmed down. Then, he’ll talk as freely as you please about the issue, but don’t expect him to cry about it in front of you. And you better not tell anyone about what he’s said to you, or you can expect to be having the next conversation with Mr. Baseball Bat.]

Pros: Realizes that breakups happen to everyone, doesn’t blubber, doesn’t skirt the issue, is able to remain in the real world while dealing with his problems; also, if he talks to you it proves he trusts you a lot.
Cons: For a short period, he’s kind of needy. Be there for him and offer him any kind of aid he needs, and he should be okay in no time.

Type Three: “I DEFY YOU STARS!!!” (aka Romeo Syndrome)
Ah, yes. Type Three. He certainly has a flair for drama. He is a great and studious love, but he takes himself and his relationships more seriously than anything. He can be smothering in relationships, since he is so afraid of losing them that he is often to attentive to them. This guy is virtually helpless unless he’s with a significant other, and if he or she leaves it is literally the end of the world. This guy pretty much never takes the time to lick his wounds clean, opting to forget his frustrations by seeking out new partnerships. If he can’t find a partner, he sinks into a deep and often long depression, and pretty much forgets how to act like a human being.

Pros: Very caring and attentive.
Cons: Name it. The guy’s an emotional basket case. He needs the help that only true and honest friends can provide. Friends that won’t encourage him to find a new lover before he learns to love himself.

Okay, cats and kittens. That’s it. I’m tired. I’d like to leave you all with a few simple words:

AVRIL SUCKS, and this layout with Deveigh Chase is awesome. Yay Justin!

—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: Is this a funny practical joke to do or not?
From: “Jim Marsden”
Date: Sun, Apr 13 2003 3:33:32 AM -0500

LOL. I can’t even begin to imagine how she got his penis to fit through that small opening.

I’d just like to let you guys know that if you aren’t: Justin, Eve, or Thess , then you shouldn’t ever be allowed to post on FUBAR again. If you aren’t one of them then chances are your posts suck…really bad, like mine. I shouldn’t even be allowed to post on here, which is why I rarely do. I will spare you guys now from having to read one more lame poem.

THE END!

There once was an asian named Justin,
who for b00bies he was alwasy lustin’.
One day he wished
for his own set of tits,
but he found on one’s head, they’re disgustin’.