I managed to rape all my bandwidth (again..) and the site was down for like two days. Hee.

Remind me not to do that again.

The next time i put celeb porn on my site again, i’m just going to leave the files up for like about 4 days or something. That should be enough time for all you regulars to get your hands on them before the rest of the world finds out. And by that time, the files will be gone! Wow what a great plan! I guess that should be incentive enough to become a regular and check out this site every day now wouldn’t it? Gyahahaha.

In other news:

• I bought Madden 2004 the other day.

Mostly because of the online play and voicechat features (which i still haven’t tried out yet). Anyhow, there hasn’t really been all that many changes since last years edition. Well except for the new Playmaker Control thing. Which is pretty cool. And there’s that new Owner mode thing which i’ll never ever touch. But it’s cool too i guess if you ever feel like playing Sim-NFL. Of course there’s the new tackle animations and shit. But damn does the commentary ever suck. I hate it. All in all, not a very good game. Disappointing. Perhaps Sega’s ESPN NFL 2K4 will be better.

• I still haven’t watched What A Girl Wants, The Lizzie McGuire Movie and Agent Cody Banks.

Despite already having the DVDs and being able to watch them whenever the hell i want. Why not? Well for one thing, i still hate Hilary Duff (for no other reason except that i think she’s ugly) and there’s the fear of me looking at Frankie Muniz in the way that i would look at Lindsay Lohan (brrr..) and finally, because of the fact that i already saw What A Girl Wants… when it was called The Princess Diaries.

• I’m going to spam 50 people with my new URL

Gyahahaha. Well it seems like as weeks go by, i get at least one new comment saying: “omg you assturd so this is where you’ve been all this time i’ve been checking out badinagoodway.com everyday and THIS is where you are instead? I hate you Justin” or something to that extent anyway. So i have devised a plan to try to get all the old regulars back to the site. And hopefully things will be as they once were like around a year ago when fubar was as lively a site as Amanda Bynes will be when i get her into bed with me someday.

Or then again maybe not.

So anyway, i’ve been trolling through all the comments from all the posts from around this time last year and i’ve so far collected about 50 e-mail addresses. E-mail addresses of past regulars who we haven’t seen commenting on here in a while (probably because they have no idea where the site is).

Ah the good old days. When the site was at its peak. Getting something ridiculous like 9000 hits a day. Generating insane stats such as these (which ultimately led to the rapage of bandwidth and the eventual shutting down of the site for like a month). How i wish things could be like that again.

Well. Minus the having to shut down the site of course.

Pipe dream?

More like crack pipe dream (zing!).

• I think i’m in love with Rosamund Pike.

Finally got around to watching Die Another Day for the first time last night. She’s fucking hot. Mahphlapbhpbhphh.

• I’d really like to bone Marla Sokoloff.

Here’s why.

• Newsflash:

x girlhugsboy x: i think i am a nympho

That’s Liz by the way. She doesn’t wear pants at home. Neither does Suzi i think. Speaking of which…

—————-
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: Suzi
From: trizzle@cox.net
Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2003 0:43:38 -0400

Hey, I’m just curious… have you seen Suzi around lately? You know Suzi, Alabama Suzi? Yeah, does she have a site anymore?

I must know.
—————

Yeah. But she’s being lazy and not updating it anymore. She has a livejournal though. But it’s friend’s only. Maybe if you all beg her enough, she might post something on this site.

• I have some long overdue (and severely outdated) fansigns to post up.

Got these right around the time fubar died back in May. When it was still over at badinagoodway.com. I swear to God i have so much shit from back then that i want to post up, they’re practically all just stacking up waiting to be released. Like the orgasms that i will give Amanda Bynes one day.

• Some plugs.

I’m flabbergasted by the fact that i’m actually linked over at this site. It’s one of my favorites next to this one. I’m also linked here. Why i have no idea.

In closing, you should download the Bubba Ho-Tep movie trailer and then dream about the movie until it comes out. Deep down, you are a Bruce Campbell stalker, whether you know who he is or not. Trust me on this.

Bubba and i were talking about Avril again. We talk about Avril a lot.

psykotik2k: my avril icon is better than yours

TehBubba: i like this one that looks like she just got kicked in the nutties.

TehBubba: because she’s so punk.
psykotik2k: i’d like to punk her up her cooch
TehBubba: indeed.
TehBubba: she’d make that face when i crawled up inside of her. she shall become my new suit of woman.
psykotik2k: i dont think she’d fit you
TehBubba: true, she’s a little short. =\
TehBubba: i’ll just stick my arm up in her then….make her my lil avril puppet.
psykotik2k: make her give me a blow job
psykotik2k: and then do a little strip tease
TehBubba: that would be awesome…
psykotik2k: and then make her get on top of me
TehBubba: whoa there, keep your winking pang away from my arm.
psykotik2k: my winking pang wants avril pussy
TehBubba: i guess i can hold her from the back. might take a bit of stretching…but it can be done.
psykotik2k: i bet she has pokey nipples
psykotik2k: like natalie portman
psykotik2k: nah
psykotik2k: on second thought
psykotik2k: her boobs are quite round

• round

psykotik2k: though small
psykotik2k: so they cant be pokey

Yadda yadda yadda. By the way, winking pang means penis.

Anyhow, the point of this post, is that one of my readers recently made a song dedicated to Avril’s ass crack. It’s worth a listen.

You can download the minute long MP3 here. It’s only 915k. Written by Mr. Brandt Cooley. Good stuff.

Visit his site to listen to his other stuff. It’s all good.

psykotik2k: do you think avril would have a sweaty ass crack?
TehBubba: i would think so. i have a sweaty ass crack as well. tis hot. =(
psykotik2k: ew

From the director of Audition and Dead Or Alive:

• Ichi The Killer

In other news, i saw Freddy Vs. Jason last night. On VCD. Muahaha. How great is that? The movie just came out like 2 days ago. And it’s already on VCD! Haha. You wily Asian pirates. You so fast! You so good! Bootleg some more yes please!

By the way, i’d just like to say that the Ginger Snaps girl (whatever her name is) that’s in the movie, didn’t really do that nude shower scene. I smell body double.

radish01001: wow ichi the killer looks like family fun!
psykotik2k: ya!
psykotik2k: slicing off nipples is fun!

You know, ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to thank Colin Farrell for putting the shout out to me that Fubar has found a new home. It would’ve been nice to get that information from Justin, but since he’s on the ass-end of the earth from whence come things like SARS.

Regardless, I’ve been pretty busy lately, what with getting down on my knees and smiling like a donut for the Weinstein Brothers, and pretty much anyone higher up in the Disney company than the kid who runs Space Mountain during the mid-afternoon shift at Disney World.

Then let’s not forget these anti-piracy trailers that I’ve been doing with Jim Cameron and just about everyone else in Hollywood who sold their souls to Satan (a.k.a. Michael Eisner) for a percentage of the back-end on some movie or another. But I’d just like to say that if Justin keeps on buying VCD’s, then Hollywood won’t be able to produce another summer of mind-numbing action extravaganzas that suck your will to live. And then I’ll be out of a job, and Cameron will be out of a job, and the rest of the tools who were in that commercial, well, fuck ’em, that’s why they’ve got unions.

And the promotional tour for Gigli. That came right about the same time that I fired my agent for getting me involved with that piece of complete and unadulterated shit. He made it sound so good, because the director of Beverly Hills Cop was attached (but he left out any mention of the box-office on Meet Joe Black), J-Lo was in it (and, quite honestly, I thought the title of the movie was pronounced ‘jiggly’ and it was a reference to her ass). My agent made the whole thing sound so good, and now it’s the worst film in the history of film.

And then there were those hookers. And strippers. And Damon’s ex-girlfriends. And Casey’s ex-girlfriends. And any women who submitted screenplays for this year’s Project Greenlight.

In any case, J-Lo’s sleeping now, which means this is my chance to kick on the Spice channel (not to be confused with the Spike channel, which is not to be confused with Spike Lee, who is not to be confused with Spike Jones or Spike Jonze), because the alternative is J-Lo’s eyebrow-stylist who’s set up permanent residence downstairs, and looks more like Jim Carrey than Mariah Carey. Thank god for hardcore pornography.

I went out again today and i bought more pirated DVDs.

• The Rock: Criterion Collection
• Pulp Fiction 2 Disc Collector’s Edition
• Jackie Brown 2 Disc Collector’s Edition
• Goldeneye
• Tomorrow Never Dies
• The World Is Not Enough
• Die Another Day
• The Usual Suspects Special Edition
• Jurassic Park III
• Little Otik
• 2 Fast 2 Furious
• American Wedding

Yes you read that right. American Wedding again. But this time on DVD!

You’ve probably already heard of all those other movies. Well except maybe Little Otik. It’s this little Czechoslovakian horror movie that’s apparently pretty good. Here are some review blurbs from the DVD cover.

“TRULY EXTRAORDINARY! HILARIOUSLY CHILLING! Don’t miss this baby whatever you do!” – Mike D’Angeloa, TIME OUT NEW YORK.

“Rivals ‘The Exorcist’, ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ and ‘Eraserhead’ as a disturbing treatise on the fear of parenthood” – Andrew Johnston, THE NEW YORK TIMES.

Wow! Sounds pretty good eh? What’s the plot like you ask?

Well it’s about a couple who can’t have a baby. So they dig up a tree stump, diaper it up and decide it’s their baby. Oh, and by the way, the tree-stump baby happens to eat people.

I love this movie already.

Oh and speaking of other good movies, i got around to watching Gerry last night. I did some research on the movie and i was surprised to find out that it’d already been out for quite a while now. Since February 14th actually (the day Daredevil was released. must’ve got drowned out by all the Daredevil hype).

Anyhow, just in case you’ve never heard of Gerry, let me tell you about the plot.

Two friends, both named Gerry, get lost while hiking in the desert.

Tada! That’s it. That’s the whole movie in it’s entirety. It runs for about 100 minutes and that’s all there is to it. Two guys walking around in a desert for 100 minutes. Oh and it’s a near silent movie too. There’s very little talking. You’d be lucky if you could squeeze out 20 minutes of dialogue from this movie. I think there’s probably even less than that. I swear to God it’s just basically two guys. Walking around. In a desert. For 100 minutes. They walk and walk and walk. And then they talk for a while. And then the walk and walk and walk again.

Let me describe the first opening 5 minutes.

We see a car driving along a road. No opening credits. There’s background music. Car’s still driving and driving and driving. For like 3 minutes. Then camera angle switch. We see Matt Damon and Casey Affleck in the car. There’s still no dialogue. Just music. This lasts 30 seconds. Then camera angle switch. First person view of them driving down the road. For like 2 minutes.

Now let me describe one scene for you.

Gerry I and Gerry II. Extreme closeup on their faces as they’re walking. Heads bobbing up and down. No dialogue. No background music. No cuts. No edits. No change in camera angle. Uninterrupted. For like 4 minutes.

Shit this is exciting stuff.

But you know what? I really like this movie. Sure it’s literally just two guys walking around lost in a desert for 100 minutes with barely any talking at all but it’s all just so real. It’s a beautifully shot movie, EXTREMELY long takes for each scene, VERY little editing or camera angle cuts with little to no dialogue at all (and what little there is is all improvised and actually quite humorous). Even Castaway had a lot more talking.

It’s funny. You can take a bathroom break during pretty much any scene in this movie… and come back… and not miss a single thing! Because the two Gerry’s are still just gonna be walking around lost in the desert!

My favorite scene is when Casey Affleck gets stuck on a rock. One camera angle. Of him stuck on a rock. And Matt Damon collecting dirt to build a dirt mattress so he can jump down. 10 minutes.

Let’s look at that again:

Casey Affleck stuck on a big rock.

Matt Damon collecting dirt.

For 10 minutes.

This is probably the best scene in the movie.

I’m not even kidding.

I went out and bought SWAT and American Wedding on VCD today. For a total cost of about US$2.50. Maybe even less than that. Tee hee. I like bragging about my bootleg purchases. Because i know like 95% of your reading this right now have no way of getting pirated movies as easily as i can. All i have to do is just walk into any store and buy them off the shelves. While the rest of you probably have to download them off the net. *points and laughs*

In other news, i saw Legally Blonde 2 last night. And my IQ dropped by about 90 points as a result.

Update:

I went out again to a different store and i found Dead Or Alive on DVD. It’s a Japanese flick directed by the guy who did Audition, one of the most freakiest most sadistic Japanese movie i’ve ever seen. Seriously like omg. It’s like… Silent Hill freaky. Anyhow, i bought Dead Or Alive and i watched the first 10 minutes of it at the office.

Two men fucking in a toilet, strippers gyrating, a prostitute plunging to her death from a building, throats being sliced open and blood spraying everywhere, a mile long line of cocaine being snorted, a guy eating like 5 bowls of noodles and then getting shot through his stomach by a shotgun and noodles flying towards the camera.

And that’s all just in the first 10 minutes! I’ll watch the rest later at home.

If see this movie in stores, don’t hesitate to buy it.

Now if i can only find Battle Royale on DVD…

Update again!

I went out AGAIN to another different DVD store some time later today and no, i didn’t find Battle Royale on DVD (although i did see a shitload of new Anime DVDs and boxsets that just came in). Instead, i bought these:

OMG the whole gang is here! Amanda Bynes, Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan! I mean Frankie Muniz…

Plus i also got Bringing Down The House and the new Gus Van Sant movie, Gerry. I heard it’s pretty good.

And just to show you all that i’m not just bullshitting you, here’s a pic of all the purchases i made today.

How do you like them apples?

12/8/03 1:21 AM
PacManJesus: wanna know soemthing funny
psykotik2k: sure

Continue reading →

Yes! It’s true! Apparently Colin Farrell has been a long time fan of my site and as a thank you for me having him up on my layout a while back, he got director Clark Johnson (the director of SWAT) to CGI in a little shoutout to the site (in honor of its recent resurrection) on a sewer wall in the movie!

Here are some screenshots!

SEE!?

And now, an e-mail.

Continue reading →

So i did lots of cooking over the weekend, and here’s what i learned. Pizza dough turns out better if you put the yeast in warm water, not cold water out of the fridge. Muffaletta sandwiches are very good, but when you buy olives from an olive bar, make sure that either they’re pitted or you own an olive pitter. And lastly, you can make a bitchin’ caramel sauce with a can of sweetened condensed milk. Punch a coupla holes in the top and put it in boiling water that just comes up to the top of the can. Boil it for about four hours, removing when the contents are a nice caramel color. It’ll be pretty thick, so you can thin it down with milk or half-and-half or something. Good stuff; i put it over the top of a Klondike bar. Enjoy these fine edibles at home while looking at what is quite possibly the most hottest Olsen twin picture ever.

I went and saw SWAT today with my friend Terry. I actually liked it, and thought it was a really good movie. Colin Farrell was good, and was Samuel L. Jackson. LL Cool J has gotten fat… and then there was that other dude…

Two things i noticed: One, the camera never stays still in an action sequence… there is a shitload of pointless shaking and panning and jerking the camera around to add, i guess, to the suspense of the scene. And Two, the music was really great except for some shitty rap at the end about Sammy Jackson.

Yesterday I watched Donnie Darko for the first time in a while… that movie owns all. Donnie Darko is my hero… and I’m going to be a giant scary apocalyptic-telling bunny who is doer of evil things for halloween… but no one will get it… because they suck.

Two days ago I watched Monty Pythoin and the Holy Grail. God I forgot how funny those guys were. The random shit that they can come up with is hilarious

I’ve just realized I’ve been watching a lot of movies as of late… and I got tired of seing Justin’s post…

Cellar Door.