Goddammit, Britney.

You’ve managed to almost single-handedly ruin the allure of teh pink wig.

Way to go, ho.

WITH A LARGE FLOPPY DILDO IN HAND. OOOO YEAAAH.

Mike posted an open letter to CNN on his website!

Dear CNN,

Well, the week is over — and still no apology, no retraction, no correction of your glaring mistakes.

I bet you thought my dust-up with Wolf Blitzer was just a cool ratings coup, that you really wouldn’t have to correct the false statements you made about “Sicko.” I bet you thought I was just going to go quietly away.

Think again. I’m about to become your worst nightmare. ‘Cause I ain’t ever going away. Not until you set the record straight, and apologize to your viewers. “The Most Trusted Name in News?” I think it’s safe to say you can retire that slogan.

Pwnage! Read the rest here.

So in the comments of the Kylie post, Xan mentions this Teddy Babes place. I’m all “hmm…never heard of that…*click*” And then I’m transported into a creepy world of $700 stuffed toys for guys who can’t get a real girl into their beds. I mean, this is the strangest thing I’ve seen since Shower Boobs.

Perhaps the most unique and unusual feature of your Teddy Babe is her vaginal entry point; complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, or as we like to call it, “Pussy Velour.”

wtf Pussy Velour??? I suppose I should just be thankful there is no “anal entry point” or as they would probably like to call it, “Pooper Velour.”

It is also a perfect love doll traveling companion, fitting easily into a reasonably sized suitcase.

omg please, please, please let me be in the security line at an airport when they search some loser’s luggage and find one of these folded in half stuffed inside. That would be all kinds of awesome. FTW.

Here’s the best part of their sales pitch though…

Because it’s a plush character, as well as a work of art unto itself, Teddy Babes are not typically perceived as sex dolls or adult sex toys, but as cute and sexy novelties; and women especially seem to find them attractive.

HAHAHAHA!! Yeah, every girl I know would totally think a guy who had one of these “works of art” sitting in a chair at his place was hot stuff. I don’t even know whose clothes we would tear off first, his or the doll’s. I promise you, no female would run screaming for your front door…cross my heart.

I can’t decide whether Jade Raymond is pretty or beautiful. So how about i say she’s pretty beautiful? (OH HOHOHOHO!)

Ahh… Jade Raymond… i could watch you talk about Assassin’s Creed all day. Like in all these youtube videos.

Anybody see her during Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference when she demoed the game? The part where Altair kills a guard and his dead body gets stuck in midair? And then Jade’s like nervously trying to laugh it off? SO CUTE. If it were anybody else, i’d probably be like AHAHA WTF BAD PROGRAMMING but with Jade, i’m like awwww! it’s okay Jade! don’t worry about it!

Jade Raymond is what i call a REAL girl gamer. Not like that Chobot whore. I really hate Jessica Chobot. She instills FURIOUS ANGER in me. Jade Raymond instills flowers and kittens. And true gamer boner.

I bet Jade Raymond smells like strawberries. I love you so Jade Raymond.

FUN FACT: While filming an interview for a Star Wars game, kids were apparently coming up asking for her autograph. Seeing her surrounded by Stormtroopers, fans thought she was Natalie Portman.

More fun facts in Jade’s wiki entry.

Yet another hottie who, for whatever reason, has never had her fubar debut. I just ran across these pics of Kylie snapped back in 2003 while she was shooting a swimsuit ad in Cannes.

Breast cancer survivor, set to turn 40 next year, and still one of the best bootys in the business.

Will be about gay homos and the ‘phobes that hate them! That’s right. Homophobia and the anti-gay Christian right movement might be the topic of his next documentary!

I cannot wait!

I think it’s a very ripe subject for someone like me to make a movie about. Simply because we are not there yet and it remains one of the last open wounds on our soul that we are not willing to fix yet,” Moore told The Advocate. “There is nowhere in the four Gospels where Jesus uses the word homosexual.’ The right wing has appropriated this guy, and they have used him to attack gays and lesbians, when he never said a single word against people who are homosexual. Anyone who professes to be a Christian and does that is certainly not following the teachings of Jesus Christ.

/moorgasm!

Let’s all go back to a happy place…

It’s early 1998…

…and Scarlett Johansson is 13 years old and dewy fresh, posing with 15-year old Jessica Biel for a magazine shoot.

Mmmmm…doesn’t that feel better?

Mandy Moore > Michael Moore

Fact.

ps. Both of the Moores have boobs, but there’s only one you’d ever want to see showing cleavage.

CNN vs THE FACTS

CNN owes Michael Moore an apology!!!!!!!!