Well shag me with a rusty nail. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw even. I actually managed to top my all time high of 3093 hits by getting 3141 yesterday.
Will i be able to top myself again today? Only time will tell. I seriously doubt it but hey, who knows?
If you’re new to the site, then don’t hesitate to look around! I have naked celebrities, topless foreign exchange students, naked Osama bin Laden and some really good posts!
Okay everything except those last two.
Here are some screen caps that i took off the R rated version of the ‘Not Another Teen Movie’ trailer. It’s got that foreign exchange student in them. And she’s topless.
Yes. Topless nude naked foreign exchange student from Not Another Teen Movie.
Yeah Google. Scan that last sentence up there and put me up on the ‘Topless nude naked foreign exchange student from Not Another Teen Movie’ search index. Har har. And give me more free hits. I am so smart.
Two things i would like to improve on with this site:
As some of you know, especially for those of you who’re still on dial up, this site takes an unreasonable amount of time load up. Mostly because of the fact that the main index.html page, the page you’re currently reading/viewing/skimming through right now, usually weighs in at about 200k. Which is waaaaay over the limit of what it’s supposed to be (optimally 50k).
Personally, i have absolutely no idea how slow (or how fast for that matter) my site loads up on dial up since i’ve been living with the comfort of having a fast enough cable connection at home and at college. But logistically, i’m gonna assume that on dial up, it probably loads slower than a fat bitch on rollerskates going uphill.
I have a strange feeling that i’ve used that joke before…
Anyway, you can blame the ridulous page size on me. Or my posts rather. Or even me AND my posts. You see, i tend to write a lot. I tend to write a lot of crap some might even say. And that’s just putting it lightly. And from Q and Q standpoint, it’s undeniable that there’s more quantity than there is quality on this site. It’s true. I post more than people even care to read. I’m even doing it right now. It’s happening right under your nose. As of this very moment, as i’m just writing all this. Practically wasting valuable K’s of cyberspace writing about what’s ultimately going to amount to nothing, in the end, bogging down the site even further as a result.
See? Even by starting this short new paragraph by leaving a line and writing this said new paragraph, i’m wasting valuable space when i could actually be writing about something more worthwhile.
Which brings me to my next point, my posts. Specifically my posts which i need to severely diversify upon topic wise. Because the old pattern of movies, DVD’s, women, and embarassing failed attempts at humor… is getting old. Actually it got old a year ago but i still kept at it. Because it works. What can i say? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Still, you do get bored of the same old thing over and over again. So yeah, even though i’m going against myself by actually getting off my ass and trying harder to not bore you actual readers to death, i’m try to work on being more entertaining. Actually i’m surprised that some people still even read this site. Or much less even visit it everyday. Even much less visit it at all in lieu of the consistent lack of anything truly new or original going on within this site. Post wise, content wise etc etc…
Apart from a few spurts of inspired moments from time to time; like that Wonder Years obsession this past August, there’s not really much to tide things over during the downtimes.
It’s okay. I have absolutely no idea what i mean by that last paragraph either.
I’ve actually been under quite a lot of pressure this past week. Site wise i mean. I’m sure you all know by now of the sudden influx of hits i’ve been getting (averaging roughly around 3000 a day now) due to all the Osama bin Laden search referrals. With all the new visitors coming here and all, it’s a great opportunity to snag a few of them into my trap and turn them into regular visitors. And maybe even *shock* readers who actually read the posts! Wow! What a concept!
Actually… let me allow myself to pat myself on the back for that ingenius ploy. You know, mentioning Osama bin Laden in nigh on every post in hopes that Google picks up on it and lists my site amongst the other Osama bin Laden related sites. Even there’s absolutely nothing at all related to him on the site. Aside from the mentioning of his name like a million times. Yes, that deserves a pat on the back. I am, indeed, the smartest man in the world.
I was a bit slow, i’ll give you that (should’ve thought of it a month earlier) but hey, better late than never. Look who’s getting the hits now. Har har.
Yes. Justin, ever the opportunist.
So yeah, roughly 3000 hits a day more or less. Which is pretty impressive for a small site such as mine. Of course, i’m not at all as naive or as stupid as to think that all those hits equal to the number of people who actually READ my site. Oh no. Because, as sad as it is to say, probably 80% of those hits amount to people who’re just looking for porn. Mostly of the preteen variety.
And of course, Osama bin Laden naked.
Out of all the hits i get from you people, i’m thinking probably only a very small percentage of you actually even read the posts. Especially the long ones. And believe me, my posts can go on forever.
Now if they were good long ones, that wouldn’t be so much of a problem. But alas, mine are usually of the bad long variety.
And it’s not a matter of length either. The short ones are equally as bad. If not even more so for their brevity.
Funny thing happened last night. I was just doing my thing on the net, downloading trailers, reading DVD reviews, hitting on a girl on AIM (i lead a very sad internet life) and some guy IMs me. Said he was a fan of the site. Told me he found my posts humorous and thought the faq section was the funniest thing ever.
Personally i think my faq section isn’t as funny as people say it is. I read it now and i cringe at how unfunny it is. Speaking of which, that faq is pretty outdated. I should update it a bit.
Anyway, the dude then goes on to ask me if i ever thought of becoming a professional writer. And i’m thinking, “EH?”. Complete with the ‘one eyebrow raised’ expression.
Dude, if you’re reading this, let me tell you that the day i start writing professionally, will be the day Kirsten Dunst starts bouncing on my lap wearing nothing but socks and earrings.
Hmm. you know, i actually had a point to make when i first started thinking of writing this post. That point has long since been forgotten.
Oh well.
Might as well continue on writing. Even though i know only 15%+/- of the 3000+/- hits from the 2000+/- or so visitors coming will ever be reading this far down the post.
Funny how i can just throw around those numbers as if they were nothing. Because i know there are people out there probably dying to get at least half of what i get. And here i am, non-chalantly dismissing it them as if they were as lowly as the number 300 or something.
Yes. To me, 300 is very low. Funny that. Because there was once a time where if i got 300 hits on any given day, i’d feel like the king of the world. Now, if i ever get only 300 on a given day, i’ll just quit the site.
Maybe it’s just me but sometimes i think i just don’t deserve the hits that i get. Both the ‘real’ ones (actual readers *shock*) and the ‘fake’ ones (Osama bin Laden/porn seekers). People like Antwon, now he deserves more hits than he gets. Personally, i don’t really know how many he gets a day but he sure deserves more on top of what he’s getting. He updates everyday, he’s funny, he looks like Oliver Platt and he always has something thought-provoking to say in his posts.
Jia Hui. She deserves more hits too. She’s consistently funny as hell, consistently funny as hell and consistently funny as hell. She deserves getting more hits than she normally does based on those three points alone.
Even though they’re basically just the same point repeated three times. In case you didn’t notice. Thought i’d just point that out.
Speaking of thoughts, one just occured to me. Even though i am complaining about my hits and how i don’t really deserve them bla bla blah yakkity yakk… me being the hit whore that i am; have just thought of another ingenius way to rack up MORE free hits. In the internet world, two things reign supreme. Porn and Osama bin Laden. Since the Osama bin Laden thing has already been done, i’m thinking back and i realize how most of my other free hits have come from people looking for porn. Specifically porn of the Western nature.
With that in mind, i’m thinking that maybe i should mention more keywords that have to do with porn of the Eastern nature. Or Asian to be more specific. Because i KNOW Google will be scanning the net again in the next coupla days or so for new key words and phrases like… ooh… maybe… naked topless girls in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia? Or maybe hot Kuching girls from Miri? Or naked pics of college girls at Modestos? Or maybe even… nude Bruneian schoolgirls? Or how about… nude Sunway College girls? And hey, they might even be interested in picking up words like… naked Singaporean women? From Bugis street perhaps? Chow Kit road in Malaysia? Japanese preteen lolitas? Cheap Asian prostitutes long sucky sucky only five dollar? Asian chicks with dicks from Thailand?
Yep. That should probably do it.
That alone should probably increase my total hit count by at least 30% withing the next few weeks or so.
I’ll be looking forward to the potential ‘chicks with dicks’ search referrals i’ll be getting in the near future.
Anyway, where was i? Oh yes, wasting more valuable space on my server typing out long post entries that only 15%+/- of my visitors will read and slowing down the loading time of my site even further as a result of said longwinded, pointless, barely read, site slowing entry.
You know, it’s gonna be tough to write a closing sentence for this post.
I know. I’ve been lazy today. It’s kinda hard to concentrate on posting when you’ve got Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within Special Edition on DVD staring at you right in your face.
So how about… pics Kim Smith? To distract you from the lack of posts today.
—————
To: “Justin FUBAR” psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: Kim Smith
From: “Stephanie Goh” fuzzy@absolutely-fuzzy.com
Date: Sat, Oct 20 2001 2:46:57 AM +0800
Justin..
Just thought of one more chick you could add to your list – Kim Smith. She was a Guess? model.. also appeared in Nsync’s
Bye bye bye video I think (I hate NStink)
I guess I don’t have to mention the fact that she’s gorgeous. 🙂 With nice tits. http://www.kimsmithmodel.com/victoria_s_secret.html
Cheers,
Stephanie
—————
Now you know you wanna check that link out.
Okay. So me and two of my film class buddies are supposed to be shooting our movie right? For our film class project thing. Which amounts to something ridiculous… like… 70% of our final grade or something.
The script’s been written, a shooting schedule’s been made. Everything’s all planned out. Everything’s been greenlit. But we have NO DV CAMERA.
That’s right. We have no camera. Which means no movie. Which means no grades. Which means we’re fucked.
Oh no. Don’t get us wrong. We had a camera. We’ve had it for weeks now. Borrowed it off Jason’s girlfriend. The only person we knew who had a DV camera. And guess what? The camera just decided to DIE on us. It’s broken. It’s not functional.
Deadline’s in a coupla more weeks. There’s pretty much nobody else that we know that has a DV camera that we can borrow off of. And so, yes. For the time being, we are fucked.
Since a LOT of you out there are being tricked into coming here hoping to find good Osama bin Laden shit, only to find nothing but lots of naked women and some really bad weblogging, i figure i might as well do you some good by maybe directing you to some place where they actually HAVE good Osama bin Laden shit. Like Osama bin Laden naked pics for example. Although why any of you would wanna see him naked is beyond me.
So let me start by directing you to this page.
There. That’s my good deed for the day.
Haha. That’s pretty funny.
Went out to that Fox Home Video place with my farting roommate today. Brought along another roommate too. He wanted to check out the 5.1 surround speaker systems for his DVD player.
Farting roommate spent a grand total of around RM$650 today. He’s almost as crazy as i am. He picked up his copy of The Godfather Trilogy Boxset (RM$499) and Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (RM$149).
It’s gonna be a long movie marathon weekend…
Received a coupla e-mails today:
—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: laetitia-casta!!
From: “Christopher Jarvis” chris@xaraonline.com
Date: Thu, Oct 18 2001 11:17:57 AM +0100
She is very fine – thank you for introducing her to us
I submit this image to you for perusal 🙂
http://www.webdesk.com/laetitia-casta/laetitia-casta-pictures-05.jpg
chris
—————
Yes i agree. She is very fine indeed. I’ve never really noticed that until Stacey (spelt S.T.A.C.E.Y) pointed her out to me a coupla weeks ago. I’d heard of her name a coupla times before in the past but i never really bothered looking her up because i thought she’d be like one of those typical model types. You know the kind. Skinny. Not really all that hot. No boobs. But yeah, Laetitia Casta’s one of the very few exceptions to the rule. She’s actually hot. Very hot.
I was watching Driven again last night. It got thinking about looking for Estella Warren pics. She’s pretty hot too.
I should also expand my vocabulary and try not to use the word ‘hot’ over and over.
—————
Subject: Cameron Diaz pic
Date: Thu, Oct 18 2001 8:33:47 PM
Attachments: cameron-diaz-nude-real-dephile-approved.jpg
Just thought i’d send you the bigger version of the one that you have. Enjoy.
I wish people would just send me cool celeb porn in the email. 😉
—————
Thanks man. I actually haven’t check out that pic you sent me because i can’t. I mean like, i can’t… not from school anyway. Because the school network has this stupid thing where if any URL or filename has a ‘naugthy’ word in it (e.g preteenlesbiansex.com, nudegirls.com, nudeteens.com, sexsexworld.com etc etc), it just blocks the site and give you this access denied page thing.
The same goes for any jpeg images that have filenames like… well…
“cameron-diaz-nude-real-dephile-approved.jpg” for example. I can’t view it nor can i even download it.
So yeah, if anybody of you out there wants to send me any files or whatever, try not to name them “nudeteenxxxgirlssex.jpg” or whatever.
Because i won’t be able to check them out from school.
Meanwhile, i just recently updated my DVD list and i thought i’d just show it off a bit.
I was just checking my stats and guess what? Google put my site back up on their Osama bin Laden search index!
This is great news. Not only will i be getting free hits, i can also now go back to like… refreshing my stats and looking at all the Osama search referrals come pouring in by the minute!
Yes! I have no life!
Lack of sleep.
Or lack of a proper sleeping schedule i would say. I just took a look at myself in the mirror and noticed that my eyes were red. I mean, like red from them not being closed for long. Or not closed long enough.
Wait, isn’t that the same thing?
Anyway, what i’m meaning to say is that i have red eyes because i have a fucked up sleeping schedule. And i permanently look like i’m high or weed or something. I’ve gotten that a lot. People coming up to me, looking at my eyes and going, “Dude, you look stoned”. And then i have to explain to them how my eyes pretty much like that all the time because i don’t sleep very well.
It’s not like they’re completely red or anything… not like something out of some horror movie… no. They’re just red in the way… like when you just got up from sleep. And your eyes are all red and stuff. In that way.
Of course, my eyes aren’t ALWAYS permanently red. That would just be freaky. But just as i was looking in the mirror today, i noticed that they were red.
Of course, it could just be the fact that i’d just woken up at the time. But i thought i’d make it out to seem like my eyes are red all the time. For dramatic effect. Oh an by the way, i’m typing out this post offline and i’ll probably be posting it up later in the day. It’s about 8:30am-ish right now. So yeah. There might be some disrepancies time wise and subject wise by the time you get to read this post.
So my sleeping schedules fucked up and i’m asleep during the day and awake during the night. I’m practically running on Florida time. Which exactly 12 hours behind from where i am right now. Meaning that if i was in Florida right now, it’d be 8:30pm.
But i’m in Malaysia and it’s 8:30am. And i haven’t slept a peep all night. Well actually i did but it was only like for half an hour. Then my farting roommate came in to my room and we had anal sex.
I’m just kidding of course. He just wanted to watch The Princess Bride. And i couldn’t get back to sleep. Mostly because i decided i wanted to watch The Princess Bride too.
I love that movie. It’s such a classic. I once had a running joke on my site where i would go “Inconceivable!” at every conceivable moment.
It wasn’t very funny.
I was talking to Stephanie last night on AIM. And we got into this small discussion about the running jokes on my site. It was a really small discussion. I didn’t really go that far into it but she did acknowledge the fact that she noticed a theme of running jokes running through my site.
I just re-read that last sentence up there and realized how it barely makes any sense.
Anyway, i thought i’d just talk about some of the running jokes i’ve had on this site. Because well… i can’t think of anything else to write about right now. In fact, i’m just basically typing out everything that i’m thinking about as i go along.
And that last sentence barely makes sense either.
Anyway, i’d hate to quell your impression of how much bad taste i have when it comes to women but yes, the whole Kirsten Dunst infatuation thing, which has been going on for quite some time now, is indeed just a joke. The joke being that Kirsten Dunst is just ‘alright’ and nothing really much to obsess over. And yet i consider her to be the God’s greatest gift to guys and obsess about her like a very obsessed man.
Not to say that i don’t really like Kirsten Dunst. Hell no. I fucking love her. She’s hot beyond belief. I want to see her naked boobies. So very badly. God, why didn’t they go ahead and make crazy/beautiful have an R rating? That movie was supposed to have Kirsten Dunst nudity! I mean, fucking hell, did you seen her in that scene where she’s in that dark room BRALESS and wearing this tighter than tight t-shirt?? PHWOAR! I mean, look at this!! So close yet so far!!
You know, now that i think about it, i don’t really think this Kirsten Dunst thing’s a running joke at all. She really IS God’s greatest gift to guys!
Or to me at least.
Okay, maybe i can try pointing out other running jokes that’ve been on the site. Like… ah yes. The hit whoring.
The hit whoring’s a running joke too. I actually don’t really care about my hits. I don’t.
Oh alright alright. I’ll try pointing out ANOTHER running joke that’s really a running joke and not something that’s for real like my obsession for Kirsten Dunst’s tits. I mean Kirsten Dunst. And hits.
Okay Kirsten Dunst’s tits and hits.
Actually forget about me pointing out my running jokes. Let’s talk about hits. And Osama bin Laden. Well, as you know, my site’s been taken off Google’s Osama bin Laden search index thing. Meaning that if you were you type in ‘Osama bin Laden naked’, my site wouldn’t show up on their list. Which really really sucks. Because i took great pleasure in refreshing my stats every 10 minutes just to see all the fucked up search referrals i was getting by the minute from people searching for Osama bin Laden this and Osama bin Laden that… only to be tricked into visiting my site and finding nothing at all in relation to what they were looking for.
Instead they just found lots of naked women and some really bad weblogging.
I guess it’s pretty pointless to mention Osama bin Laden on the site now. Since i probably won’t be getting anymore hits off his name. Since fucking Google took my site off their index AGAIN. I mentioned yesterday how they screwed me over with the Zhang Ziyi and Afroman search referrals i was getting a coupla months ago. How they did the exact same thing they’re doing to me now. Taking my site off so that that it wouldn’t show up under those searches.
But no matter. It’s not like they took my site entirely off their database. I’m still getting Libby Hoeler search referrals and the usual fucked up ones like ‘visible panty line’ and ‘preteen lesbian sex’. Which, of course, i don’t even have on the site.
All i have is just lots of naked women and some really bad weblogging.
The bad weblogging part comes into play with the fact that i don’t actually blog that much. I mean, sure, i post a lot but most of the time, the posts have precious little to do with my actual life. And not having a life doesn’t really help either.
There isn’t really much i can write about in terms of what i do everyday. It’s usualy just the same old thing. Every single day. Sometimes i feel like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog day.
I wake up. I go to class. I go online. I sleep. Rinse, lather and repeat.
Of course, that’s just a very basic pattern and i do partake in all the other smaller day to day routines like eating, shitting, going to the mall etc etc. Usually when i’m not too busy waking up, going to class, going online and sleeping.
There’s also the odd occasion where i actually do deviate from said basic pattern and actually go out.
*shock*
Like actually go out and have a social life. But that only happens once in a blue moon. The last time being when i went out on that pseudo date with Susan. And when i went to my farting roommates sister’s birthday party thing at Pizza Hut. If you can call that ‘going out’.
Actually it’s not that i don’t have a life. It’s just that i’m too lazy to put in the effort to have one. Certainly not here in Malaysia because i know i’m not gonna be here for that long. With my raison d’etre being that i don’t wanna get too attached to any friends that i know i’m not gonna be seeing much of once i leave for Michigan. It’s like, well… think of it this way.
You’re single and you have two months left before you head off to another country. Would you wanna start a relationship with someone then? Knowing that it’s probably gonna be worthless in the end because you know it won’t follow through too well once you leave? Would you wanna put any effort into something that you know wouldn’t last?
Well it’s something like that.
Actually that’s a pretty bad analogy to use for that situation… but it does fit well for this one question that Stephanie was asking me last night. About why i’m not in a relationship right now. With someone over here in Malaysia that is.
So yes. Lack of life = lack of real blogs. Which is why i always have to resort to posting up filler material. Like my e-mails. Or just writing about nonsensical stuff like DVD’s and girls. And on the ever so odd ocassion, attempting to pull off really bad jokes. Like that Rachel Leigh Cook forehead joke down there.
Actually i’m surprised that people even found that funny.
So yes, that’s one of the reasons why i don’t really blog that much. I post a lot but i don’t blog as much. In fact, i post more than most people even care to read.
But that’s another story.
Thess has always been a big inspiration for me to try harder with this site. And every few months or so, or every few weeks at times, she would just IM me and scold the crap out of me for not trying hard enough. 🙂
To actually blog more and post less crap. And to put up better smut. Or not put smut up at all. It fluctuates. She can be fickle.
I love reading her site. I check it out everyday. In fact, i check it out everyday, multiple times a day. Just to see if there’s any new updates. Even though i KNOW that she only updates like 3 times a week. If she had a hit counter, i’d probably be like number one on her top referrers list. Reading her site and reading about how her week went, what she did, the people she interacts with etc etc… kinda fills in the empty gaps in my life.
Actually i don’t even know what i’m trying to say with that last sentence but yeah, reading her site and reading about her life… it just, somehow, fills in the blanks. So to speak. Maybe not the blanks in my life excatly but just… some blanks. It’s kinda hard to explain. ‘Empty gaps in my life’ was the first thing i thought of so yeah, empty gaps it shall be. Even though it’s probably nothing at all like what i’m actually meaning to say.
And it’s not necessarily just with her site either. The same goes for other sites that i follow religiously. Another site being Zia’s for example. I read her site and sometimes i feel like crying. Yes. I feel like crying because of how funny she is and she can write about the most mundane details of her life to become the most funniest thing you’ve ever read. Like who would’ve thought installing a Law Dictionary thing on your site to be so funny?
Okay, maybe i just have a weird sense of humor but i found it funny as hell.
It helps that she also has family members and people around to provide her with a starting point for things to blog about. Incestuous brothers, favored sisters, certain misters… amongst other people.
Me? I only have myself. My friends aren’t at all that very interesting and my parents are piss boring.
Oh wait.
I could tell you about how my mom SMSed me, from BANGKOK of all places, this morning, asking me what my shoe size was… but come on now. That’s just not worth talking about.
And what the hell is my mom doing in Bangkok anyway?? How come i didn’t know about that?? Seriously. Nobody ever tells me anything.
Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to have a brother or a sister. If i had any, i’d probably have a lot more anecdotes i’d be able to share with you on the site. But alas, i’m an only child.
*violins playing*
Boo hoo hoo.
Not many people know this, that i’m an only child and all, but if you’ve been reading this far down the post, soon, you will know something else too. I’m actually supposed to have sister. And if she were alive right now, she’d probably be like… 22 or 23. But she died when she was 12 months old or something due to fatal complications in her intestines. This was all before i was born though. I don’t really know too much about her and i’ve never really asked my parents about her either. I only found out about those facts, about how she died, when i accidently stumbled across her death certificate one day while i was rummaging through some files. This was like… probably 11 years ago now i think. She shared the same name as Dexter’s sister from that cartoon show. You know… Dexter’s Laboratory.
There have been times where i’ve just sat and wondered what it would have been like if she were still around. I’d probably annoy the hell out of her and we’d probably be fighting over who gets to use the phone… or the internet… or the bathroom. I’d probably be hitting on her friends that she’d be bringing over and doing dastardly things like i dunno. Snapping her bra strap or whatever. Doing whatever it is that annoying brothers do to big sisters. I wouldn’t know because i don’t have a big sister.
It would be really great if she could be anything like what Zia is like. I’d love to have a sister like Zia.
Kind of a melodramatic way to end a post don’t you think?