I’m sure most of you know who Jenn is. And if not, well, let’s just go back in time and see how Jenn came about and impacted the world of fubar.

I first got to know Jenn when she first e-mailed one fateful day on October 1st 2002. Her e-mail caught my eye because she had just basically said that she wanted to bend me over and touch my asshole. And then fuck me.

Seriously. Look. It’s the third e-mail that i posted up in this post:

• I AM KOREA huk huk huk – 12:52am October 9, 2002

I never replied to the e-mail but as you just saw, i did post it up on the site. And as you may have read, i later found out that Jenn was actually a lesbian! How exciting!

But then. Jenn found out i posted the e-mail and she got angry because i was trying to find out things about her. =(

• Stalkers! – 9:32pm October 12, 2002

After that, we did not hear from Jenn again. And i became sad. So, about a month or so later, i decide to e-mail Jenn for the first time and give her access to post on the site! LOLOLOLOL. I thought it would be funny.

And so she posted…

• So you think I’m stalking you? Just wait……. – 5:16am November 18, 2002

…and she got an unprecedented 82 comments for her very first post on fubar. Which is amazing since no one has ever gotten that many comments. Not for their very first post anyway. But. The fubarbs were not pleased. And they did not like Jenn at all. But did Jenn care? Not at all! LOLOLOLOL.

And so Jenn posted once again. Pissing off the fubarbs even more.

• The usual crap – 6:13am November 20, 2002

But this time, a strange twist of fate occured. And for some reason, people did not think Jenn was real! Liek, OMG peoplez! But she IS! But yet, the people did not think so. And the people started to think that Jenn was really ME. OMG. Liek, no way dudez!!!

And then Jamlink decided to play detective and debunk the rumors of me and Jenn being one and the same.

• No fingers or butts in this post – 3:11am November 21, 2002

And then, the other girls start to not like Jenn very much! Oh nos!!!

• I dont like Jenn – 10:42am November 22, 2002
• Not the usual crap. – 12:02pm November 22, 2002

And so, Jenn did not post anymore.

And sadly, fubar was shut down temporarily from December 12th to Feb 10th due to a very lengthy server switching incident. And when it finally did come back online, i was sad to think that Jenn would probably not be posting anymore forever and ever since i figured that she had forgotten about the site after it being gone for so long.

But then liek, OMG!!! She unexpectedly posts!1!!@#%^#1&@1

• ……. – 3:46am February 12, 2003

To which Thess responded with a post of her own shortly thereafter:

• I’ve got your drivel right here, bitch. – 9:38am February 12, 2003

LOLOLOLOL. And so. That is the story of Jenn. So far.

Will we ever hear from her again? Nobody knows. Not even i.

Some people love her (e.g Banana). Some people secretly love her (e.g Kingolf). But most people HATE her with a burning passion hotter than the sun.

As exhibited by Eve halfway through the comments section of this post where Jenn said:

Guess who i hate.
I hate them all, surprisingly enough.
Posted by Jenn – 12:08am February 22, 2003

…in response to the poll question of “which fubar girl do you hate most” (which Jenn won by the way) which then got her into a little fight with Eve. Which didn’t really last all that long unfortunately. Oh well.

And that, is the end to my little tale. And so, i leave you all now with the last known e-mail that i have received from her.

—————
To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: ……..
From: Jennie Burgess jennsdiaries@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Mon, Feb 24 2003 10:33:01 AM +0000 (GMT)

Hello Justin,

Congratulations on getting your site up and running again. I imagine that you realised you were never going to make it in the real world, and so needed to retreat to your little online safety haven. Anyway, whatever you need.

I’m abroad at the moment on an assignment for my magazine, so I have not had the time to waste on you recently, but nothing motivates me like a boy begging so I suppose I could squeeze you in.

Have you ever had a woman squeeze your penis as hard as she can in her fist? I’m told it’s quite and experience.

Love

Jenn
—————

Anal Donkey Fucking + Google.com – “quotes” = fubar #1 on the list now!

I am so proud.

cinnfuleyes: yeah! uh! yeah! uh! grrr
cinnfuleyes: yo get it twisted
cinnfuleyes: this rap shit is mine
cinnfuleyes: motherfucka
cinnfuleyes: fuck what you heard
psykotik2k: X GON’ GIVE IT TO YA
cinnfuleyes: WHAT?!
psykotik2k: what!
cinnfuleyes: what!
psykotik2k: what!

We are so ghetto rap at heart.

I love Eve. She’s so great. She’s actually called me up all the way from Germany (!) two days ago. I would’ve posted about it earlier but i’ve been having the worst fucking toothache/headache ever. Been bugging me for days. But anyway, yeah, Eve called me up! At 9am in the morning no less. I’m laughing right now just thinking about it because i was just so totally out of it that morning. Yeah, i’m not really a morning person. I actually thought that i was dreaming for the first 5 minutes of the conversation! In fact, i didn’t even realize that it was Eve calling me up because she used her real name when she was identifying herself. So for those first 5 minutes, i was thinking like, “Samantha? I never gave my phone number out to any of my classmates. Maybe she got my number from my website? But wait, i don’t even have my number on my website! I don’t think i even know any Samantha’s from class!”.

So yeah, i was totally confused and pretty much just talking out of my ass for the first 5 minutes or so not even realizing who i was really talking to. Hahaha. It was only when she mentioned the long distance call from Germany did i finally realize that it was actually TEH EVE. And boy did that ever wake me up. I was all like thinking, “Oh shit! Wake up, it’s TEH EVE!”. Haha.

So yeah i probably sounded horrible at the time. But then again the line was pretty bad for her. Apparently there was lots of static on her side but it was pretty loud and clear on my end though. Hopefully all that static drowned out most of the horribleness of my voice. =P

Remind me to call her up at 9am in the morning someday.

cinnfuleyes: people are hilarious when they wake up, but you sounded more aware than i normally would be at 9 am

That was a really nice early morning surprise. We spoke for about 15 minutes. Eve sounds very nice. Very sweet. =] I don’t know how else to describe her voice. Nice laugh too. She laughed a lot. Yeah, i must’ve been pretty hilarious. I’ll get you back Eve!! I’ll call you up at 8am someday!!

In other news, i’ve been listening to a lot of DMX lately. That guy is great. He says “What!” a lot. I love it. I think i’m gonna just start saying “What!” randomly in my posts from now on.

I’m thinking of going to see Cradle 2 The Grave but i dunno. Maybe i’ll just wait for the DVD. I hope it’s better than Romeo Must Die. I didn’t really like that movie that much. Although i did quite enjoy Exit Wounds. Hopefully it’s just as good as Exit Wounds. More hip hop kung fu from Andrzej Bartkowiak. That man never strays too far away from formula.

I bet you his next movie will have DMX in it too.

Oh and by the way, i am a genius.

Told you…

…it…

…works.

Hey guess what. Meg has a paypal thingy on her site now. I think she’s like 400 dollars in debt or something and she’s accepting money from her viewers to prove their love for her.

…

I wonder how long it’ll take before we start seeing her on camchores.com. I mean, since she’s already going as far as posting these kinds of pictures up, which aren’t really all that dissimilar from that other pic that Eve put online… and now i really don’t see what all the fuss was about over that. But anyway, i guess it’s just gonna be a matter of time before she starts showing her hoo hoos for more ching ching.

Oh yeah and she’s also offering to make people layouts for cash too. So yeah, if you at least wanna get something for your money, get her to make you a brand spanking new super kewlies layout in place of the hoo hoo pics that she’s not sending out… perhaps not yet anyway. Of course, you could always accept the eternal love she’ll give you for 10 bucks or so.

“So, yeah, i have paypal. THANK YOU TO MIKE!! MY JEEBER!!! <3<3<3<3<3 YOU ARE MY LOOOOOOOOOOVER!!!!!!!!” – Meg

Love!

But in all seriousness…

Take a lesson from former camtard (her words, not mine) Susan. She been there. Not to the extent of having a paypal button on her site or anything but she knows what it’s like. The camgirl scene.

(All these links are here for you to click on btw)

Cici pretty much summed up my views on camgirls/camtards/camwhores when she said:

“Hmm. It is incredibly tempting to join camportals, like the super kewlll ones that everyone is joining these days. But I’m not going to. AND HERE IS WHY! (Let me all tell you what you already know, in the words of Cici, aka God): Camportals = Hits = Perverts = Annoying IMs = Irritation = Drama = Being a hypocrite and complaining = Eventually shutting down your site. OK. Don’t get me wrong. I used to do it too. To all of you girls that are fine and dandy with your portals, I’m glad you are! So was I! I was like HEHEHE I’m kewl. Ok. Here’s the reality. These girls joining portals for kewl hitz are the ones that are like OMFG. LOOK AT WHAT THIS PERV SAID TO ME. And yeah, I’ve done it too. What the hell do you expect? Do you think men respect you for joining portals and then posting your body and AIM screen name for all to see? No, you’re a piece of meat. Of course, you don’t see it that way when you join the portals. And I’m not saying that’s all it’s about. I’m not even trying to hate anyone that joined portals, almost all of my online friends are on portals, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO!, shit, like I said I had links up to kazoo: VOTE FOR ME! back in the day. Just not anymore. I’d just rather get visitors from people that want to read my site. I was talking to Chel and we both agreed we’d rather get 50 hits a day from people that genuinely read our site and care versus 10,000 hits a day from people that see us as visual pleasures. It’s not a pleasing thought that guys across America are whackin’ to you.”

She seems like a pretty cool chica. I’d IM her and say hi but i’m too intimidated by her. She was one of those super hyper popular camgirls back in the day. Still is actually. Minus all the netpervs that used to make her life a living hell. I think. Go check out her site. It’s purty and her fanbase amazes me. I wish i was that popular. I wish i had boobs.

Anyway, like her, i don’t really care about whether people are on camportals or if they have paypal links on their site or not.

But in the words of one of Meg’s fans:

“why did you go the way of the scum camgirls and put a paypal link. I mean I know why you already posted it but I thought you were better.”