THE WIZARD! Wow! Opening credits! Christian Slater! Beau Bridges! Super Marios Bros!! KEVIN ARNOLD! WOW! California! California! Hi! FRED SAVAGE! Retard videogame playing genius! Hot girl! Where’s Winnie Cooper? Wow! Cosmo magazine! Hot girl taller than Fred Savage! Long kiss on top of trailer! Damn FRED SAVAGE! Nintendo Entertainment System! Oh no! Bad kids in trenchcoats! Vision Streetwear! Power Glove!! Wow! POWER GLOVE! “I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.”!! Power Glove in dog movie Beethoven too! Power Glove starred in more movies than Fred Savage! RAD RACER! Oh no! Bad kid kick ass! It’s in the Power Glove! Power Glove actually deliver more believable performance than Fred Savage! I think it won Best Supporting Actor In A Movie Starring Fred Savage! Sorry Cary Elwes! Bad kid Lucas still kick ass! I want Power Glove! What to do now! Bring out retard who plays games good! Oh no! Retard run away! Oh no! Video Armageddon! SUPER MARIO BROS. 3!! WOW! Magic flute! WARP ZONE! Boo! Cheater! Win championship! YAY! Super Mario Bros. 3!!! All go home now.

“I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.”

I’m going to masturbate to these pictures of Hayden Panettiere in a bikini*

* this may or may not actually happen

So i got bored with the Dreamcast and unplugged it. Now i’m playing Nintendo 64 games. I tried playing Goldeneye but i just couldn’t get used to the (now) wacky control scheme. I tried using all the different controller configurations to no avail. I just suck at controlling the game. Which is weird because i had no problem playing Turok all those years ago. I blame dual analog joysticks. Playing FPS’s on Dreamcast and N64 is just nigh-on impossible now.

I also tried playing Perfect Dark. And guess what, i couldn’t play that game for shit either. And again, i blame the wacky control setup AND the jerky graphics. Seriously, the framerate in that game is HORRIBLE. Even with the Expansion Pak. Setting it to letterbox barely even helps. How in the world did we even tolerate all of that back then? The only games i’m able to play skillfully are racing and flying games. Diddy Kong Racing pwns. And so does StarFox 64. Beetle Adventure Racing pwns too. I never played Mario Kart 64 though. Did i miss out on anything? Mario Kart for the SNES ruled. I heard MK64 wasn’t as good. That’s why i never bought it. Never played Double Dash for the Gamecube either.

Oh and Conker’s Bad Fur Day! The N64’s swan song. Best game ever next to Mario 64. Didn’t that game cost like 89 bucks or something ridiculous like that? (and people are complaining about next gen [PS3, 360] games costing 59 bucks… psssh) I never did finish Conker. I got stuck about 8 hours into it. I think i restart the game since it’s been quite a while since i last played it. I can’t even remember where i left off or what i’m supposed to do anymore.

The fun machine indeed.

Ahh. I’ve been looking for hi res versions of these promo pics. Mmm. Lindsay Lohan in her prime. It’s kind of sad that we’ll never be able to see her like this again. Meaty, busty, redheaded.

I no longer look forward to watching Lindsay Lohan movies anymore. I haven’t even seen Herbie: Fully Loaded yet. Although apparently i hear it’s still worth watching (since Lindsay hadn’t really changed all that much while they were shooting it. Plus apparently, they didn’t really CGI her boobs down as previously rumored?)

Instead, i now look forward to all of Rachel McAdams’ movies. Like Wedding Crashers and Red Eye. I love Rachel McAdams. Didn’t think much of her when i first saw her in Mean Girls but trust me, after you watch her performace in The Notebook, you’ll definitely start to see what all the fuss is all about. After all, she didn’t win all those MTV Movie Awards for nothing.

I watched The (super controversial) Passion of The Christ again yesterday. My second viewing since getting the DVD last year. It’s not exactly a rewatchable movie. Not that it sucks or anything. On the contrary. It’s very well made. Just not very enjoyable to watch. Not even with the beautiful Monica Bellucci in it.

Note to self: Buy Malena on DVD someday. For a more ‘enjoyable’ Monica Bellucci experience.

She has a new TV show coming out in the Fall. Good to see Chyler working again. Haven’t seen her around much since Not Another Teen Movie and Girls Club.

She was actually in another show that never got picked up. Rocky Point i think it was called. It was basically a TV version of Blue Crush. Which would have meant lots of Chyler in bikinis. IF IT HAD GOTTEN PICKED UP.

Instead, we have to settle for Reunion, slated to air in September. On FOX.

Prediction: Cancelled after two episodes. Knowing FOX.

Here are some old pictures of Hilary Duff being a fucking poser at some xbox thing a while back. I think this was before Halo 2 was released. Bungie had a bunch of celebrity people try out the game and stuff. Ya, like Hilary Duff really even plays Halo at home. Bullshit.

At least she’s hot (when she’s not wearing those fake teeth that make her look like a horse, of course).

I added a Recent Comments thing to the blog. It’s right down the sidebar. I’ve actually had the plugin installed quite a while ago. Just never turned it on. Mostly because it’s such an SQL query hog (bumped it up to 44 queries per page from the usual 9). That was, until i had the common sense to re-download updated version of the plugin (the one i had was probably like version 0.1 or something), which is A LOT better, query wise. Down to 24 queries versus the 44 from before. I’m still a bit worried that it’ll overload my server though. Considering the number of visitors i have looking at the site at any given moment.

But then again Spencer has 18 queries for his front page and like 40 for his comment pages and he probably gets a lot more traffic than i do and i’ve never seen his site go down. Then again he might just have a better host. How many queries is too much anyway?

Regardless, if i do start overloading my server or whatever, i’ll probably take off the Recent Comments thing. Just thought i’d turn it on to make things easier for you guys. That way you won’t have to sift through every single post just to see if there’s anything new in the comments.

So i finally got the rest of my stuff home from the US yesterday. Had 3 boxes of DVDs, college books and videogames sent over via mail courtesy of old man Smash. It sure took its sweet time. He’s still got like a bunch of DVDs that he’s borrowing (you really need to watch Wonderfalls) and also that personally autographed issue of Maxim that i had Mandy Amano send to him. Considering how long it took for those 3 boxes to get here (they were sent out on April 25th i think), the rest of the DVDs and that magazine will probably get here like by Christmas time by the time Smash is done with them all.

Anyhow, i think i’m going to hook up the old Dreamcast. And maybe the N64. Been a long while since i turned on my Dreamcast. Not since… 2001? Actually i did plug it in once last year while i was still in Michigan. Attempted to play Quake III Arena but i just couldn’t get used to playing with the Dreamcast controller anymore. Despite it being almost exactly like an Xbox controller (Yep, Microsoft pretty much stole the design. Fact). It just felt weird and i couldn’t control the game for shit.

I’ve forgotten how many Dreamcast games i actually own. Looking forward to playing some of the old classics. Like Daytona USA. Remember the theme music? Daytonaaaaaaaaaaaa! Let’s go away! Let’s go away! Sega, and their shitty arcade music. They made great playing games though. Shame the Dreamcast had to die. I blame Sony.

An Ode to the Dreamcast.

Dreamcast, oh Dreamcast, my little white box
You bring me such happiness and joy
And you match the color of my socks
In the morning when i wake
You are there, ready to play
In the evening when i sleep
You are dim and mostly grey
I plug you in and turn you on
Your disk spins ’round and ’round
I grab the controller and flick the buttons
I love when you make the WHIRR sound
The games i play lighten my soul
They take me away from tiresome days
I feel much better, i feel so good
My Dreamcast makes me feel such ways
I sometimes get so lost in playing
That i could use a maid
But i will stay loyal to you my Dreamcast
Because i know even without you i still won’t get laid

They sure do have a knack for bombing on nicely numbered dates. So far 33 have been found dead. =(

Angelbaby2003: 7/7/05
Angelbaby2003: wonder if that has some meaning
psykotik2k: at least its not 7/11
Angelbaby2003: yikes
Angelbaby2003: scary thought
Angelbaby2003: madrid was 3/11 right?
psykotik2k: dunnos
Angelbaby2003: i think yes
Angelbaby2003: if this had been 7/11 id stay home on all 11s from now on