Woo woooo! Just bought Gerry on DVD today. Remember that movie? I posted about it once a coupla months ago. Anyhow, it’s finally out on DVD and since i love the movie so much, i just had to buy it again. Even though i already own the bootleg (actually, they’re both bootlegs but the first copy was one of those ‘shot with a camera in the cinema but still pretty clear dvd bootlegs’. Now i have the fake original copy. If that makes any sense).

Gerry is just one of those movies that you either love or hate. There is absolutely no real plot whatsoever and out of the whole 100 minute or so running time, there’s probably just like 30 words of dialogue. You may think i’m exaggerating but the whole movie might as well have just 30 words of dialogue seeing as to how little of it there is. I don’t even think there was a script for this movie (and if there was it’d probably just be like 4 pages long or something. Shit, this movie could’ve easily been written on the back of a napkin.

Basic ‘plot’:

Two friends, both named Gerry, get lost while hiking in the desert.

(okay i’m just going to repost my old original [half assed] review starting from now but read it anyway)

I swear to God it’s just basically two guys. Walking around. In a desert. For 100 minutes. They walk and walk and walk. And then they talk for a while. And then the walk and walk and walk again.

Let me describe the first opening 5 minutes.

We see a car driving along a road. No opening credits. There’s background music. Car’s still driving and driving and driving. For like 3 minutes. Then camera angle switch. We see Matt Damon and Casey Affleck in the car. There’s still no dialogue. Just music. This lasts 30 seconds. Then camera angle switch. First person view of them driving down the road. For like 2 minutes.

Now let me describe one scene for you.

Gerry I and Gerry II. Extreme closeup on their faces as they’re walking. Heads bobbing up and down. No dialogue. No background music. No cuts. No edits. No change in camera angle. Uninterrupted. For like 4 minutes.

Shit this is exciting stuff.

But you know what? I really like this movie. Sure it’s literally just two guys walking around lost in a desert for 100 minutes with barely any talking at all but it’s all just so real. It’s a beautifully shot movie, EXTREMELY long takes for each scene, VERY little editing or camera angle cuts with little to no dialogue at all (and what little there is is all improvised and actually quite humorous). Even Castaway had a lot more talking.

It’s funny. You can take a bathroom break during pretty much any scene in this movie… and come back… and not miss a single thing! Because the two Gerry’s are still just gonna be walking around lost in the desert!

My favorite scene is when Casey Affleck gets stuck on a rock. One camera angle. Of him stuck on a rock. And Matt Damon collecting dirt to build a dirt mattress so he can jump down. 10 minutes.

Let’s look at that again:

Casey Affleck stuck on a big rock.

Matt Damon collecting dirt.

For 10 minutes.

This is probably the best scene in the movie.

I’m not even kidding.

—————

Anyhow, i really really recommend you watching this movie even though you’re probably going to hate it with a burning passion because it’s so ‘boring’ and ‘nothing ever happens’. You really have to watch this at least once. At least so you can tell your friends how incredibly stupid it is and then make them watch it anyway. Haha. Who knows, you might actually like it. Go buy it. Or at least rent it. But whatever you do, just experience it.

And on another note, i stumbled upon this picture of Hilary Duff last night.

I actually really hate Hilary Duff (even though i have no real reason as to why other than the fact that i think she’s fucking ugly and that i like Amanda Bynes better) but this picture made me think dirty thoughts which i shouldn’t even be thinking of since i’m turning 23 tomorrow. Woo woooo!

(yes i know the woo wooo man is like soooo February 2003 but i just find myself randomly going woo woooo randomly for absolutely no reason at all these past coupla days)

The whistles go wooo!

What’s up pedos. I mean, Hilary Duff fans. Got nothing for you in the way of an actual post today so how about some hi res Hilary instead.

Looking more and more like a porn star each day.

• Hilary Duff 1
• Hilary Duff 2
• Hilary Duff 3
• Hilary Duff 4
• Hilary Duff 5

Sadly no pores 🙁

Not exactly the best scans ever… plus she’s airbrushed to hell but it’s Kristanna Loken nonetheless.

• Kristanna Loken 1
• Kristanna Loken 2
• Kristanna Loken 3
• Kristanna Loken 4

Most disappointingly, no pores despite the huge closeup! Oh how i hate airbrushing.

By the way, i wish i was the goat.

Moving on… WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT? I’m praying that these are old pics.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt 1
• Jennifer Love Hewitt 2

Now it’s time for Jennifer Garner pores!

• Jennifer Garner 1
• Jennifer Garner 2

And Jessica Simpson pores too!

• Jessica Simpson 1
• Jessica Simpson 2

Oh yeah and hi res Hilton sluts if you’re into them. Too skinny for me. Not sure if there are any pores in these pics. Haven’t actually looked at them all.

• Hilton 1
• Hilton 2
• Hilton 3
• Hilton 4
• Hilton 5
• Hilton 6
• Hilton 7
• Hilton 8

And finally… Hilary Duff! Pores!

• Hilary Duff 1
• Hilary Duff 2

Speaking of whom, there’s a fairly interesting comment that was left on my old ‘Bad Blood’ post about Hilary.

—————
Actually i no for a fact that hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are friends b/c im friends w/ lindays cousins and for her birthday 2 years ago linday invited the olsen twins, hillary, aaron carter, and that chris guy from dream street. o and hillary is a slut b/c aaron told her to come to his room naked after dinner and she did my friends saw the whole thing! Also linday used to go to my school and she had no friends and everyone hated her so she stopped coming, but she visits sometimes to visit the 2 friends she had.

Posted by Jessica – 5:27am November 20, 2003
—————

You’ve probably already seen the latest Natalie Portman peanut smuggling pics and if you haven’t, there are some links to them in the comments section of Crystal’s post right below mine. What i’m wondering is whether she actually realized that she was poking through her dress when she looked in the mirror before leaving the house (Natalie, not Crystal). And don’t celebrities care if people can see their nipples through their dresses or whatever? Do they do it intentionally? I mean, i’m not complaining or anything but i just wonder sometimes if they’re actually aware of what they’re wearing and how they look once they go out in public.

Of course, these are celebrities that we’re talking about. I don’t know about how ‘real life’ people like you and me go about it (especially you females out there) but doesn’t it bother you at all if you were poking through your shirt?

Isn’t it the same as a guy having a boner and not wanting people to see it?

Like take for example those hi res Anne Hathaway pics i posted up a while back. Tell me she didn’t realize that you could CLEARLY see her nipples and breasts through that dress. She might as well just be naked.

Speaking of which, any of you guys ever see girls wearing bras with clear plastic bra straps? I personally find them to be very distracting. It’s like, you just HAVE to look. And it’s just something you don’t want to be caught doing. You’re like “ooh.. clear plastic bra straps… *STARE*” instead of just like “ooh bra strap.. seen that a million times.. *looks away*”. But maybe that’s just me.

Damn plastic bra straps

Kind of like with VPL. You know, VISIBLE PANTY LINE (something i picked up from reading girly mags like YM and Seventeen… What? Does that make me gay? Shit dude, you learn a lot about girls from mags like those. Let me tell you, girls can be really strange. All you have to do is just read the letters or advice pages).

So yeah, VPL. It’s like, okay you see this chick. She hot and all and of course, being the typical ‘guy’ that we can be sometimes, you start checking her out from head to toe. Peanut smuggling and clear plastic bra straps notwithstanding, you eventually start checking out her ass. And of course, most of them time, you’re bound to see VPL. And that’s the end of that. But when you DON’T see VPL, you start to stare. Looking up and around all over the place just trying to find that stupid little triangle thing (assuming if she’s wearing a thong of course) and if you DON’T find that stupid little triangle thing, well then you’re shit out of luck and i guess you’re probably just gonna be stuck there staring at that ass forever. But maybe that’s just me.

Stupid little triangle thing

I had a point to make when i first started writing this post but i seem to have lost it. Oh well. Make of it what you will.

ps: i’m currently running on my way to going over my bandwidth limit so don’t be surprised if the site dies within the next week or so. no worries though. it’ll probably be back up again by the 1st of december if it does. also, i scrolled off about 5 days worth of posts to lighten the load of the main index page. go look in the archives for the good stuff you’re not seeing right now.

greymatter sucks. i wrote up a post earlier and the damn thing decided to pull a “page cannot be displayed” upon preview, and then an “i’m a piece of shit so i decided to lose all of your data” when i hit the back button. my folly for not copying before previewing, but i really wasn’t expecting it to mal-fucking-function. >:O

/rant

allow me to try to recreate my beautiful vision. 😉

–~scoobidydoo~scoobidydoo~scoobidydoo~ (or whatever they say on wayne’s world)–

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In case you were wondering, this is the supposed HARDEST TONGUE-TWISTER IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:

The sixth sick Sheik’s sixth sheep is sick.

So there, I had a purpose, and am not *completely* crazy. Heh.

::burp:: ate too many fiji apples. It’s good stuff, grown to perfection, and good for a meal or two (or three). I only hope that it retains the crispy freshness and flavorful aroma it had going in when it goes out. That would be cool.

Go to AtomFilms.com. I order you to. In case you peons don’t know what that is, it’s a place that shows small movies. A lot of small movies. Movies like In God We Trust, a cool-ass movie about redemption against a system that tries to take you down. Movies like Wheelchair Rebecca, a sick and twisted movie. Hee hee. And finally, movies like Gulp, which is actually an inplausible and insulting movie about saving a FISH. However, the one redeeming quality is that it contains a song called “Fishy Friend” at the end, which goes like this:

“Fishy Friend”

Where oh where is my fishy friend?
Are you scared out there,in the great big sea?
I’d like you to know that ever since you left
I havent had even a bite of… sushi.

Where are you now??

Did you join a school?
And did you rise, to the head of your class?
Did you spawn? Did you fall in love?
Are you male or female?!? Oh i never even asked!

You understood me!
Maybe because I am a Pisces
and like orange.
I thought we’d never be apart.

The other day
I thought I saw you swimming in my pool!
But it turned out to be a cheeto…
and it broke my heart.

If you come back to me…
I’d treat you real good.
And never, ever make you swim in LA Tapwater.
And every single day of the rest of your fishy life,
I’d treat you like you were my (depending on your sex)
son or daughter….

FISHY FISHY FISHHHHH

You know you want to watch it now. 🙂

Whilst walking around town today, I realized that there are a lot of fuckin’ roadkill around. Gross roadkill. Eek.

How about some half assed mini videogame reviews?

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First there was Libby. Then there was Cay Lynn. Now there’s…

• “Dancing Slut”

Story?

She was dating this guy, and when they broke up, apparently she was really bitchy about everything, and so, to spite her, he sent the video to his friends.

It’s a pretty amusing vid.

Note: nobody is forcing you to watch the vid. if you felt guilty after watching the Libby vids, you probably won’t want to watch this vid. it’s a really funny vid though. get it while it’s still up.

Well would you look at that:

sm4shy: 101
sm4shy: SHHEEEEEEEEEET
sm4shy: 101 people online
sm4shy: dude
sm4shy: you gotta stop being popular

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This is Keli:

(also sometimes known as Christina Applegate)

And today is Keli’s Birthday!!!! Happy Birthday!!! Reeeeee! Penis! Arrrr!

Happy Birthday Kels. 20 years old! You’re no longer a teen! In other words, you’re old! Like the rest of us 20 somethings! Here’s a birthday card for you from all of us over at fubar. Thanks to Old Man Smash for picking it out.