Wanna score some sweet Beowulf swag? I’ve got a bunch of Beowulf goodies up for grabs.

All you have to do is just e-mail me and fill in the blanks to these lines of dialogue spoken by Grendel’s Mother* in the movie.

Are you the one they call Beowulf? Such a strong man you are. A man like you could own the greatest tale ever sung. ____. ______. ________. This… I swear…

Easy!

I’ll pick three random winners on Monday and will be contacting you for your mailing address. This contest is only open to US residents though!

*Grendel’s Mother, by the way, being a naked CGI Angelina Jolie if you hadn’t already known.

Fappable.

You can download a glorious 720p HD version of the Exclusive Internet Only Uncensored Beowulf Trailer here.

Visit the official movie site here.

Beowulf opens in theatres everywhere November 16th. Also in IMAX 3D and Digital 3D.

FACT: This movie looks pretty fucking awesome.

Apparently, Justin’s fave faux-punkette got the memo that black dress + flash photography = see-thru nip pics.

So she thought ahead and put some glittery flower-shaped pasties on before hitting the red carpet at the World Music Awards. What a lose.

Justin probably won’t even be able to fap to these.

to bad yep to bad

Me thinks that butterfly is ‘shopped.

THE END?

MORE LIKE THE BEGINNING! OF MORE WINONA BOOBIES TO COME! I HOPE.

Brightened up version here.

Video of the scene here.

I didn’t dress up as anything this year (to razy yep to razy), but Petra Nemcova got all sessified as Cleopatra for a Halloween party.

If any other celeb looked as good, I haven’t found the pics yet. Feel free to mention your faves in the comments.

THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!!!

Ahh… Jailbait Mandy Moore. During her ‘Candy‘ days. Before she grew boobs. And became a gigant.

Dare i say… i’d hit it????*

Some of my favorite (non-jailbait) Mandy pics below:

*i wouldn’t actually. i kinda prefer gigant Mandy to Candy Mandy.

FACT: I own Mandy Moore: The Real Story on DVD. And i don’t know why.

The Candy video with commentary by Mandy!

Via e-mail:

from: – –
date: Oct 30, 2007 1:27 PM
subject: 2GIRLS1CUP: Thanks for ruining my dinner!!!!

Justin,

I love your site, but just putting up that video without any description? No warning? What the fuck is wrong with you? I literally yelled and pushed my chair backwards when I saw her spread her cheeks and shit. I keep telling myself I didn’t really see it or it was just special effects or something. I couldn’t have picked a worse time to check up on your website. I am waiting for my frozen pizza to cook and the next thing I know I see shit in a glass. What the fuck man! It was a pizza with everything, Justin, a pizza with everything! Now what the fuck is it going to look like when I eat it? Jesus fucking christ!

Please give a warning the next time you put a shitting video on your site.

Gary