Surprise lovebirds alert: Canadian rockers Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger are engaged, despite the fact that not many people knew they were even dating. According to People, Lavigne and Kroeger sparked up a romance while they were working together on material for Lavigne’s new album but chose to keep their relationship private.

“A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together,” a friend of Lavigne’s told the magazine. – MTV

I kinda like some Nickelback songs though.

Can’t wait for her next album!

Remember that post about Hayden Panettiere and how fucked up she allegedly is? Well, it seems par for the course for most of these Hollywood starlets apparently. I stumbled across this crazy story about Miley Cyrus.

Now, this is probably the best Miley Cyrus fan fiction i’ve ever read or one of the most fucked up true stories ever.

I actually got a boner reading it.

Several years ago, I was working at an accounting firm doing financial statement audits in L.A. Pretty good experience but boring work for the most part. After a couple years of doing this, and seeing the ins and outs of Hollywood, I began to see where there was real money to be made. In my audits, I saw the the bank that the TV execs and producers were making. True, they worked very long hours, but I did have occasion to meet with them, and it definitely did not seem to be rocket science. Only years later did I find out why they spent so many hours at the office.

Continue reading →

I was reading about how these waterpark slides can literally remove tops and bottoms due to the intense rush of water.

It’s just too bad the water didn’t remove Katy Perry’s top, as opposed to her bottom.

I’m actually slightly horrified yet intrigued by DAT ASS.

This was hard to masturbate to.

But i did it anyway.

Continue reading →

Dolphins used to ‘poke’ Jessica Alba, presumably at her vagina.

DOLPHIN RAPE.

Jessica Alba is always careful when she’s scuba diving because she doesn’t like attracting amorous dolphins. The actress discovered horny cetacean mammals got aroused by her presence when she was a youngster while shooting dolphin drama “Flipper.”

She recalls, “I don’t know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being – and they have long, long… (penises). I didn’t know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little bastards.”

Alba reveals the dolphin dilemma became a constant joke at the actress’ expense. She tells MTV News, “Needless to say my closest friends and family did dolphin squeaking noises for the next five years any time they referred to me or called me or talked to me, which was pretty annoying.”

– (OLD NEWS)

POST BONUS: 14-year old Jessica Alba dreaming of following Flipper to his rape cave…

You’re welcome.
-AB

She really is growing up nicely.

I LOIKE.

What better way to celebrate the old gal’s 236th, than Kate Upton’s July photoshoot for GQ?

God bless the USA.

Just upgraded WordPress to version 3.4. I can now embed tweets into posts!

Which is great because i’ve been meaning to share this for a while now:

Thanks to this hot gym, I've learned you can get underboob sweat even if you don't have boobs. That what I'd call a lose-lose, Mother Nature

— AJ Mendez (@TheAJMendez) June 8, 2012

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

Coincidently, i was watching Journey 2: The Mysterious Island on my 3DTV the other day. Knew nothing about the movie except that The Rock was in it. Didn’t even know it was a direct sequel to the Brendan Fraser flick from 2008. Never even knew that Vanessa Hudgens was going to be in it!

Journey 2 was nothing special. Even in 3D. In fact, pretty much the only reason why i sat through it was because of Vanessa Hudgens’ sweaty cleavage. In 3D.

3D sweaty chest the whole movie!

Which probably also means she probably also had the underboob sweat that A.J. mentioned in her tweet up there.

Boob sweat.

Sexy and GROSS at the same time.

SO CONFUSING.

Angelbaby, underboob sweat. IS IT REAL?

Also, A.J. = Waifu.

LOL.

I don’t know why but this really made my day.

Speaking of which, Taken 2 is coming out. Can’t wait! The first one was so fucking badass. One of the best flicks of 2008. So good.

Sequel trailer below!

Really hope this second one lives up to the original. October 2012!!!

Will Maggie Grace do her weird run again this time?

Cannot be unseen.