They’re swinging a little low there Lindsay!

A reader (via e-mail) was saying “She seems to have more boobs [in these pics] than in the bikini shots“. I dunno. That was probably because that tight bikini top she was wearing. Looked like it was squishing them down somewhat.

Doesn’t that hurt..? I’ve always wondered what it feels like for a girl if she got punched in the boobs or something. Or what it feels like if they’re lying down flat on their chest. That’s kinda like wearing a tight bra no?

Probably feels like wearing a tight bra around your butt. Or something.

“Anyone who loves Lacey had also better love Trachtenberg, because they are basically the same chick.” – nerima

SURELY YOU JEST!!!!!!

Michelle ‘Clownface’ Tractenbusted is NOTHING compared to the oh so lovely oh SO fetch! Lacey “Sha-bear”.

Observe! Look at that! Michelle has a face only a carnie could love!

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And you know it!

I get a kick out of saying Lacey’s last name. For the longest time, i always thought it was pronounced “Chay-bert”. It wasn’t until i heard her being introduced on air as Lacey “Sha-bear” for an interview on E! or something did i realize i’d gotten it all wrong.

Kind of like when i found out Christopher Lambert is actually “Christoph Lam-bier” in France.

But whatever. On with the pics!

So fetch!

In theaters June 10th. In my DVD player June 6th. Lolz.

Actually it’s not really that big a deal me getting the movie this ‘early’. I’m sure at least some of you have already downloaded it. This flick’s been out in France since 2003 (as Haute Tension) but only now is it getting an official US release. It’s already out on DVD in HK and Korea. Though i’m dubious of the quality of the subs on those DVDs. And yes, if you’re wondering, those are bootlegged versions. I mean come on almost everything that comes out of HK and Korea is bootlegged. Or pirated as some would say. Though i’m curious to know if there’s actually an official R2 DVD out there. Has to be, but i haven’t really taken the time to run it by Google. But no biggie. I’m sure Lions Gate will come out with an unrated R1 DVD somewhere down the line.

Preferably with the original language intact.

Ya, i wouldn’t count myself lucky though with the bootleg that i got. BECAUSE IT’S DUBBED (and i fucking hate dubs). Just like the version most of you are going to see on June 10th. And not only that, i have this sneaking feeling that this is the R rated cut that i have in my hands and not the original NC 17 French cut. But what the hell. At least it hasn’t been completely pussified down to PG 13 or anything. And according to the MPAA, it still has “GRAPHIC BLOODY KILLINGS, TERROR, SEXUAL CONTENT AND LANGUAGE”. So it can’t be all that bad.

So yes, fuck that House of Wax bullshit and go see Haute Tension if you have a chance.

Update:

Added a little review after the jump.

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Didn’t count on that wind blowing through now did you.

BEST SITE EVER.

I love you Rachel Stevens.

Here’s a mirror if it’s down. And another mirror just in case.

It’s Mandy Moore’s glorious butt!

Update: added some (ever so slightly) better quality pics

Here’s a link to a torrent of a 10 minute Batman Begins trailer!!!!!!!

Wow! It’s almost July! And just about a month away from the premiere of Undead.

July 1st

Which i will be getting on DVD, in like less than a week after its release, of course. But you know what, this movie’s been out in Europe and Australia for quite a long while now. I’m surprised those crafty azn pirates haven’t already bootlegged it. I guess they’re waiting till after the US premiere? I remember posting about this movie THREE YEARS AGO. Either way, this movie looks pretty fun. I’m hoping it’ll be just as good as Shaun of the Dead was. Plus, with a hero called MONGO, how can it go wrong???

July 8th

And then there’s DARK WATER. Another Japanese horror remake. Which looks pretty damn good from the trailer (BUT LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING). Though it helps that JENNIFER CONNELLY is in it. And for once, in the lead role! Mmm. Can’t have enough of J.Co.

Oh yeah then there’s that Fantastic Four flick which comes out on the same day.

July 8th

Too bad Friday doesn’t fall on the 4th. That would’ve been marketing genius! Speaking of July 4th, i miss the days when there’d be a Will Smith movie opening every July 4th weekend. But yeah, Fantastic Four, i’m predicting to be a FANTASTIC FLOP.

July 15th

I have absolutely NO DESIRE to see this movie. I don’t see what the big deal is about Johnny Depp anyway. You’re a faggot if you like Johnny Depp. TRUTH!

July 22nd

I’d rather watch The Island instead. True story: Armageddon almost made me cry. I’m hoping Michael Bay sneaks in tragic subplot somewhere in The Island. Because i’m really waiting for that one Michael Bay flick that’ll finally make me cry. Armageddon came REEEEALLY close. But congratulations anyway Michael Bay! But wait! Isn’t this his first flick without Jerry Bruckheimer? Oh noes! What if his movies suck without him??? Is a Michael Bay flick still a Michael Bay flick even without Bruckheimer behind him??? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody interested in buying Hayden Panettiere’s Sue Wong Daytime Emmy Awards gown? There’s an option to have it (presumably) dry cleaned before it’s shipped out. But why would anybody want to do that???

I’m still pretty content with the Lindsay Lohan shawl that i scored off of eBay a year ago. And it still even has that husky Lindsay Lohan smell to it. I guess its probably not as ‘valuable’ as it used to be though. I should have resold the thing on eBay while she was still hot!