Hi. My name is Zac. I am also PacManJesus, and the pupeteer of Tasha-Ray in the chat logs. There really does seem to be an insane amount of talk about Avril around here. Hell, there was less talk about her when she was on the actual site! You people just can’t let go can you? Speaking of, Avril’s CD “Let Go” has probably gone like triple uber platinum by now, and it really bugs me. Now I have a confession to make. I actually went out and bought that damned CD. I feel horrible about it, I really do. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hump her, though. But I spent almost 15 bucks, American, for that. Not only do I feel bad about the CD, but I feel bad about actually paying for ANY CD. The only CD that I have bought since then was Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”…. hey, I had to spend my Best Buy gift card somehow…
I don’t have a giant problem with Avril Lavigne, or, I didn’t until today when I caught I giant whiff of MTV News. Turns out that tonight Avril will be in a tribute show to Metallica. There are SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS. I like Metallica, but more importantly I respect them, and I don’t think it is right for their reputation to be shat on my an 18 year old who is this months babrie, with Arista controlling her. Not only that, but you know who will be performing with her? SUM FREAKIN 41! The world has gone horribly wrong. On this MTV News segment, before I tried to hang myself, I saw an interview with Avril about it… and this is honestly what she said. She said that she doesn’t “really listen to much Metalica.” She went on to explain how she hadn’t even heard the song she was performing. Folks, this is fucked up. Metallica deserves to be an MTVicon, just like Aerosmith and Janet Jackson before them, but this is a disgrace. MTV is simply using people that they think are popular to draw in viewers. They don’t care whether the person that is playing has ever even heard the band, as long as they are popluar enough to draw in 10,000 12 year old girls and a few 35 year old guys that just want to hump Avril. Those are the people listening to her music folks. Her concerts are like a bunch of really short high pitched 12 year old prehubesent girls and right in the middle of them is this big balding 35 year old guy who keeps screaming how he wants her body. At this point in my life you would have to hog tie me, kicking and screaming to go to a concert with Avril in it. I don’t hate her. I liked her a lot when I first saw the video, I had a small obsession, and that was great… then it got really old, really fast. And now everyone is questioning whether or not it is act…
She is an 18 year old girl who gets brazillian waxes and hasn’t listened to Metallica… but then again those ties do make her look hardcore. She apparently doesn’t listen to a lot of rock music… and she did say that she hates the “whorish” ways of Christina and Brittany, so she doesn’t listen to pop… so what the hell does she listen to. Or when she goes to sleep does she just play a recording of someone saying, “You are hardcore, you are a rebel, you are punk, you are hardcore, you are…” over and over again. It doesn’t matter who puts the words in her mouth, or who writes the music, all I know is that the world of music is becoming a sad state of affairs. Listen, fubarians, it will be a sad sad day when Avril Lavigne is the definition of punk. Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, The Ramones, any of this ring a bell? This is punk. If the 2004 “Punk” tour features Avril Lavigne, Sum 41, or Good Charlotte, then you can find me lying in my bathroom unconscious, on the floor with a toothbrush jammed in my ears, bleeding to death.
But I’d still hump her…
