Dum dee dum. I’ve been downloading lots of porn off of Limewire lately. Which is the Mac equivalent of Kazaa for all you Winblows users. (Macs rule btw. Think different. Switch).

Anyhow, yeah. Porn. Mostly Asia Carrera and Tera Patrick stuff. And some Ashlyn Gere just out of curiousity because she was in Willard and i wanted to see what she was like in porno land.

I was bored and had nothing else better to do this past weekend.

I like Asia Carrera. She’s pretty cool. I’m not sure if any of you even realize this but she sort of has a blog over at her site. It’s really facinating. Just like the freckles around Lindsay Lohan’s armpit.

The first time i saw Tera Patrick was when my old farting roommate bought this porno DVD for something ridiculous like RM$40 or something (just because it was a porno DVD) when we were all still in Malaysia. I think it was Real Sex Vol. 23 or something like that. Featuring chicks with all natural boobs and stuff.

Unfortunately, Tera Patrick is not all natural anymore. I think she recently got boob implants. She’s about half a cup bigger now i think. Or so i read.

Want to see her with her new jubblies?

I’ve got some hires pics of her. Because i just love hires pics. Especially ones where you can see pores.

friendlyblueDane: What is it with you and pores?

• Tera Patrick 1
• Tera Patrick 2

So yeah. I guess these are my two favorite porn stars. Do you have any favorites?

Mmm… freckles.

That’s Lindsay Lohan by the way. Just in case you couldn’t tell under all that makeup and those freckles.

Freckly.

HEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEE.

30! You ooooooold motherfucker.

The great American stereotype. Overweight fat man with a gun. Hee hee.

Well i finally got around to watching Bowling For Columbine about a week ago. Till then, i’d always felt like i was the last person on earth who hasn’t seen Bowling For Columbine yet. Actually no, that probably wouldn’t be true since i don’t think anybody who isn’t American (or at least Canadian) would give a damn about wanting to watch the movie (me being one of probably many exceptions though. and maybe Kingolf too since guns and politics are his thing. have you seen BFC yet Kingy?).

Anyhow, i would’ve watched it earlier if i could but the movie was never out on VCD before it got officially released on DVD. But now that the DVD is out (and bootlegged), i get to finally see what the fuss was all about.

For those of you who don’t already know, Bowling For Columbine is a documentary that centers around the issue of gun use in America. Some people say it’s an anti gun movie (which is funny because Michael Moore himself is a member of the National Rifle Association) but i personally think that it’s an anti stupid people movie*.

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I was flipping through the comments on the last post by Lizzie, and WP Legend’s right. Seventy-five percent of Americans are overweight, but -this being America- it’s our God-given right to be fat; it said so in the Declaration of Independence: Pursuit of Life, Liberty and a Double Quarter-Pounder With Cheese.

That’s right, we’re Americans who propelled, “I’m OK, You’re OK” to the top of the New York Times bestseller list, but seem to have forgotten the second half of the title and now see it as, “I’m OK, But You’re A Fucking Asshole, So Stop Criticizing Me Before I Shove This Broomstick So Far Up Your Ass You’ll Be Picking Splinters Out Of Your Teeth.”

We’re Americans, and collectively we’re fat, but rather than simply admit that we have a problem with over-eating, we eliminate any chance of being flawed in any way whatsoever and hire scientists to find the elusive “Fat Gene”. I don’t care if they find the Fat Gene; I want scientists to find the gene that makes people retarded and not take responsibility for anything.

Case in point: The fuckheads who think it’s Ronald McDonald’s fault they look like Grimace and take the whole company to court. If only Mayor McCheese could step in and say, “You’re fat, it’s your fault, fuck you. Here’s five dollars’ worth of gift certificates for your pain and suffering, thank you and come again.”

But it’s a damn good thing we’re fat, because weight-control books dominate the bestseller lists; diet-pills are sold mainly to truckers, college students and essentially anyone else who can’t find good amphetamines; Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers offices are open all over the country… Being fat is a multi-billion dollar a year industry, employing thousands of people across America, who likely have absolutely no other job qualifications. Couple that with the money generated by things at actually make Americans fat, and you realize that our own obesity is the only thing keeping us out of the poor-house.

What can you do on Love Your Body Day? Go to Hallmark and try to find a card to send to someone, and then ultimately realize that the Love Your Body Day is just a giant publicity stunt created exclusively to promote the National Organization For Women at a minimal cost by getting their followers to go all Stuart Smalley and say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and damn I look hot in these 54-inch stretch-pants…” and then hold rallies for yet-wider seats at movie theaters, airplanes and sports stadiums.

If they had their way, Fenway Park would seat nine people, just to make sure the fattest people on earth could all sit there and be happy as pigs in shit, which is a pretty appropriate metaphor, don’t you think?

thought this might generate some discussion.

and this article in repsonse might generate even more.

this is not a post. it’s just a lazy attempt at giving the people who can read something to type about.

I found out that this girl in two of my classes was actually two different girls. That owned!

Stal is hot.

so im standing in line at publix paying for my sub

and the bag boy is bitching about how his name is RICHIE. it says RICHIE clearly on his name tag. but people keep calling him by names that AREN’T HIS NAME. names that AREN’T ON THE NAME TAG. like chris, or greg.

and when they call him by some name that isn’t RICHIE, he points to the name tag with a vengeance, and gets pissed that they pissily respond with “ohhh, soooo sorry–RICHIE”

and i’m sitting here thinking to myself. my god man. does it really matter?

i mean a rose by any other name… a bag boy by any other name tag!

but he’s RICHIE and he’s ANGRY.

so he hands me my sub in a plastic bag

and he says “have a nice day” in that insincere way (like they’re programmed to do)

and i said

thanks, gary

and walked away

dont read more if you’re easily offended. seriously. the stuff inside is gross. smash would probably like it. it’s that gross.

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