Fable
OMGOMGOMGOMG. I picked up my copy of Fable today. Actually they fucking lost their copy of the reservation stub so i had to stand around like an asshole for fucking 10 minutes while they went searching for the thing (to no avail by the way). Anyway, i ended up saying, “Okay, just put the 5 bucks that i put down for Fable and put it towards a limited edition Halo 2. And i’ll pay full price for Fable now”. And that was that. Stupid Babbages.
(actually i already have a copy of limited edition Halo 2 reserved. i’m planning on buying 2 and selling one on eBay. kekekeke)
Fable blurb. If you’ve been living under a rock:
Fable is a ground-breaking role-playing adventure game from Peter Molyneux, in which your every action determines your skills, appearance, and reputation. Create your life story from childhood to death. Grow from an inexperienced adolescent into the most powerful being in the world. Choose the path of righteousness or dedicate your life to evil. Muscles expand with each feat of strength; force of will increases with each work of wit. Obesity follows gluttony, skin tans with exposure to sunlight and bleaches bone-white by moonlight. Earn scars in battle and lines of experience with age. Each person you aid, each flower you crush, each creature you slay, will change this world forever. Fable: Who will you be?
Anyway, i haven’t played it yet. I’m letting the demo movie roll as i’m typing this though. Can’t decide whether i wanna be a bad guy or a good guy. I was thinking i’d play as a bad guy first. But not just any type of bad guy. I wanna be a GAY bad guy. YES. I wonder if it’s even possible. Actually i think it is. Should be at least. Better be. I wanna be a GAY BAD GUY. Maybe bald. With horns. And red eyes. You can fucking get married to a guy in the game. I’m just wondering if the gay townsfolk will actually go for a supreme bad ass with red eyes and horns. If not, then i’ll just kill everybody i see. And maybe slap some the school children (can’t kill them. boo).
Now what the fuck am i going to do with Burnout 3? Fuck! If i don’t keep playing it, my rank will go down! I’m currently ranked in the 400s. Out of a total of 20000+ ranked online players. I rule. but if you fucking don’t play for at least 6 hours, you fucking drop like 200 in rank! Boo! Must keep rank up. But i can’t be playing both games all day! Fuck! I lose.
Sin City
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To: webmaster@psykotik.zzn.com
Subject: sin city trailer
From: Fred Simmons
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 2004 19:35:26 -0400
http://www.rhmrvrentals.com/themoviebox_ne…ty_comiccon.mov
alba-licious.
big fan of the site.
-fred
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Jessica Alba makes my penis sad. Carla Gugino however…
HOT.
i hate it when that happens…
Karma and I have a love/hate relationship. Lately, though, I’ve only been feeling the hate part.
Last monday I took a friend out to a local bar for her 21st birthday… and the scene was hurTING. There were maybe 50 people spread throughout the two levels. No one was dancing and the majority of the attractive males were upstairs playing pool.
Determined to show my girl a good time though, I was relentless in keeping her drinks coming. Another girl that was with us was a much bigger girl; long blonde hair and a mouth that would make George Carlin blush. She was also determined to have a good time, talking to anything with a penis that was in the general vicinity.
We spent a lot of time on the dance floor, but I eventually got bored, grabbed the birthday girl and headed up to the bar to get another drink and a smoke. We walked by big blonde, now fawning over a very tall, built and HOT guy standing off to the side, and they followed us to the bar.
The guy had a lighter and a round of jack and coke’s for us before we could even get our cigs out of the box. He introduced himself, asked me a few questions about the birthday celebration and then I noticed that big blonde was now freaking with some guy on the other side of the bar. I looked up at the guy that she had been talking to.
“She was hardcore hitting on you a second ago, and now she ditched you to go freak that guy over there? That really sucks”
“Well, I really don’t give a fuck. I was talking to her because I knew she’d lead me over here to talk to you.”
Gulp. That was smooth. And surprisingly unexpected. Two points.
But maybe 15 minutes later, the lights come up and we are told to get out. I looked to go find the group and head out but he grabbed my hand.
“What are you doing now?”
“Well, they are all going to wake up some of their friends in the Courtyards. I am going home.”
Yeah, yeah, shut up. He came home with me.
So we end up sitting outside on my deck smoking and drinking leftover sangria from our Labor Day BarBQ from that Saturday. He’s funny. Intelligent. Air Force. Engineer. Southern Gentleman. I am seriously getting frustrated because I can’t seem to find any flaws with this guy.
And then he gives me a chance. He asks,
“So, what do you do for a living?”
“Promise not to laugh? I’m a specialist for a dating service.”
“No way! So you get to match people up?”
“I actually just get to know people. I’m a first round interviewer. We have a lot of requirements for people to join our service.”
“Do you use those in your own love life?”
“What- the service?”
“No, no, the requirements.”
“You know, that isn’t a bad idea.”
“Go ahead. Screen me.”
Ahem. So I deny every sexually charged cell in my body and refrain from making some smart-ass comment and tackling him right then and there and explain,
“Well, I usually just start off asking them about their jobs. It relaxes them and makes them feel more comfortable sharing things with me. After I loosen them up a bit, I go in for the dirt on their past relationships.”
Then it happened. He went into a long monologue about how he was fat and a nerd in high school, but that he lost weight and got in shape by joining a cheerleading camp for the college that he got accepted to. During one of the practices early in the semester, the football coach asked him if he had ever considered playing football (he’s 6’6″). So he jogged over from the sideline to the field and ended up being their starting tight end. So now Mister jock man who knows all the cheerleaders joins the most popular frat on campus and becomes hot shit.
I almost got really intimidated and turned off because he was sounding like a cocky ass. But then he just had to go and call himself out, saying that he got too full of himself too fast. He openly admitted that he couldn’t handle it and that he went crazy over all the attention.
“It wasn’t enough, though.”
He worked as a bouncer at a club in the off-season and decided that he should take a go at stripping. Six months later, he was listed as one of the city’s 50 sexiest men.
“But even that wasn’t enough.”
“How on earth can you top that??”
“How do you think?”
“Please don’t tell me that you’re a porn star.”
“Well, not exactly. You see, there are the actors. And there are acting scenes, foreplay scenes and then the action scenes. For some of the action scenes the actors have stunt doubles. Stunt cocks, really”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME???
For once, I meet an attractive, intelligent, honest and thoughtful guy and no no, liz that’s just not gonna work out for you. We’ll just make him a STUNT COCK on the side.
And being the inquisitive little moron that I am, I decide to ask how many women he has slept with.
“Do you really want to know?”
Oh god.
“Over 30.”
I just had to ask…
“But because of the Air Force I get tested every month. And I only did a couple films and each time I was sterilized from top to bottom.”
Yes, I’m sure darling. Very responsible of you.
We spent the rest of the early morning cuddling somewhere between awake and asleep, and then he left when I did at 8am for work.
Ever since, we have been playing phone tag, but I don’t really know if I want to pursue anything. I’d like to think that I am comfortable with myself and my sexuality, but I don’t know if I could ever do anything intimate with him without thinking about his previous “work” experience.
All joking and cutesy little stories aside, I don’t know if I can handle this. Could you deal with dating someone in the “industry” or even someone with a previous sexual partners list over 30?
So much for being a relationship specialist.
Hi Res Alizée
—————–
To: webmaster@psykotik.zzn.com
Subject: for the LOVE of mercy!!
From: “Whitey Ford”
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2004 14:51:19 -0400
Please, oh PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and holy…stop posting hi-res images of these nubile young women! It is an irresistable draw, causes much wasting-of-time and much procrastination-of-work. If you continue along this path of wretched display of young womanflesh, I am just going to have to keep visiting your site and consuming mass quantities of bandwidth.
+ whiteyford +
+Hall of Shamer+
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Anyhow.
Alizee.
She makes my penis sad. But some of you like her. So here she is:
Hi Res Elisha Cuthbert (and halo stuff)
Mmm. Penis going soft.
But in other penis hardening news…!
Via PM:
Hey Justin, been to your site since earlier this year but i just registered to let you know that yes, Halo 2 is coming along nicely. Im currently doing h2 game testing for microsoft so i get to play it everyday. Granted its still broken and stuff is being added, bugs are getting fixed/created everyday.
But hey, the original halo bored the shit out of me, this one i can say that its gonna be pretty fuckin cool.
Thats it for now. Later.
quote>
Original Halo was pretty blah for me too. Repeated levels (A – B – C – B – A. WTF? LAME LEVEL DESIGN), not enough enemy types (killing those stupid exploding zombie things got REALLY old after the 700th time) and well… it was just generally underwhelming. Especially after all the hype and good reviews it got. Fun while it lasted though (at least right until those zombie fuckers started being the only enemies you’d face for the rest of the game). But not the end all be all FPS people were making it out to be. I ended up trading the game in after i finished it. I was telling some people over Xbox live about what i did and they were all like “Dude! You traded HALO in?? WTF! That game’s a classic!”. Yeah whatever. Fuck off.
Anyhow, i’m thinking about buying two copies of the limited edition Halo 2. One to own and one to sell off on eBay to some poor schmuck who couldn’t get a copy in stores. Supply and demand baby.
TAKEDOWN!!!!!!
Mmm. Not much to report. Traded in some of my old games to get Burnout 3 Takedown for Xbox yesterday. Best. Game. Ever. At least until Halo 2 comes out of course.
Also picked up some must buy DVDs.
- Clerks X 10th Anniversary Edition (3 disc set!)
- Dawn Of The Dead Ultimate Edition (4 disc set!)
Oh and Jersey Girl too.
Could’ve probably just held off on buying those DVDs for a while though. Since i have absolutely no desire at all to watch them at the moment. I tell ya, Burnout 3… it’s just fucking amazing. Funnest game ever. My sore thumb and cramped hand can attest to that. And so can my voice too (i seem to have lost it… all that shouting and swearing really took its toll). Definitely better than fucking Project Gotham Racing 2. You fucking give people a little love tap in that game and they all fucking freak out and bitch at you. Now with Burnout 3, there’s none of that. This game encourages you to ram the shit out of everyone else. Good times.
Anyhow, Fable comes out next week. Definitely getting that. Halo 2 is a no brainer. But that comes out November 9th. Not sure if i wanna get GTA San Andreas though. Maybe i’ll just get my mom to buy the bootleg and send it over via mail. That and MGS3 too. That’ll save me 100 bucks. Yep. I’ll do that when the time comes.
Movies you should check out
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To: webmaster@psykotik.zzn.com
Subject: posting IM logs
From: Jazzy Jeff jazzyjeffcali@yahoo.com
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2004 10:51:21 -0700 (PDT)
that’s so uncool that you posted i.m. logs with people’s screen names
and how the hell do you expect to attract girls to date you when the opening pages of your site features the photos of lots of girls?
————–
Pfffft. I post screen names ALL the time. And guess what, i post e-mails too. Also, i didn’t realize that i was supposed to be attracting girls with my website. Who the hell does that anyway. Attracting girls with a website. Only a complete loser would do that!
ps: to any girls reading this, hit me up at my e-mail address if you wanna hook up. kthnx.
Any of you seen Go? It’s pretty old now. Came out in 1999. Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, Jay Mohr, Scott Wolf and a whole bunch of other pretty cool actors. I picked it up on DVD a coupla days ago. Only 5.99. Cheap as fuck. Anyhow, check it out if haven’t already. It’s from the guy who did Swingers (that movie is so money) and The Bourne Identity. I hadn’t Go in years (the last time was probably when it first came out) and i didn’t remember it being as funny as it was. It actually had me laughing out loud at certain points. Good stuff. It’s one of those movies that got pretty good reviews but practically nobody ever saw. If you like Pulp Fiction (and who doesn’t), you’ll probably like Go. Heck, there’s even a quote on the back of the DVD package that says “A razor-sharp dark comedy… son of ‘pulp fiction.'”
Katie Holme still looked pretty good back then. I just recently saw posters of her and her new movie, First Daughter, hung up all over the place at the mall and she looked… kinda… retarded? I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. Actually, go have a look here. What do you think? She used to be so much hotter back in the day. Now she’s just broken and she’s lost the fine boobage that she had from the time she bared them for all to see in The Gift. What happened to you Katie?? I think it’s probably from all the weight she’s lost.
Speaking of upcoming movies, i was watching TV earlier tonight and i saw a spot for the new Cellular movie. I posted about this flick a coupla months back and i’d already planned on seeing it but then after watching the TV spot and catching the fact that David R. Ellis is directing this one (never knew it until i saw his name in the credits), i’m DEFINITELY going to see this opening day. I LOVED Final Destination 2 (that opening crash scene RULED) and this one looks like it’s gonna have some awesome vehicular destruction as well (David R. Ellis was also the 2nd unit director that worked on the highway chase scene in The Matrix Reloaded). Can’t wait for Friday.
I picked up Flirting With Disaster on DVD a coupla weeks ago. I’d heard about this movie ages ago when it first came out back in 1996 but i never got around to watching it. Anyhow, i picked up the DVD and i was pleasantly surprised to see that it was directed by David O. Russell (he made Spanking The Monkey [one of my favorites] and Three Kings. both EXCELLENT movies). I regret not having seen Flirting With Disaster earlier because it’s one hell of a funny movie. It’s just so incredibly quirky. Almost insane. I love it. And judging from the looks of his new movie, I ♥ Huckabees, it looks like another winner (i.e even more insane).
So yeah, those are my recommendations for now. Go, Cellular and I ♥ Huckabees. Should be some good times.
AIM and me
Every now and then, i like to make myself visible to the general public on AIM (and hope that a really hot chick IMs me and wants to marry me but alas, that never happens. Ever). If you didn’t already know, i have my AIM set so that only people on my buddylist can see me. I have to do this because if i don’t, i get bombarded with IMs from random people. There are generally 6 different types of IMs that i get on a regular basis. IMs from people giving me props…
10/8/04 2:28 AM
DrunkenBum8: i like your site
psykotik2k: thanks
DrunkenBum8: im 16… and the bitches on your front pages are hot as fuck
… to people demanding i give them porn…
14/1/04 6:49 PM
TauDelt39: hi there
TauDelt39: i saw one of your posts about christinamodel.com
TauDelt39: PLEASE give me wha tyou have!!!
… to people being general stupid idiots…
18/7/04 12:00 AM
StupidDex2005: i want your cock!
… to people asking me specific questions…
04/9/04 11:58 PM
JazzyJeffCali: so then
JazzyJeffCali: do you like Psycho Girl?
JazzyJeffCali: the one who’s in love with Matt
JazzyJeffCali: do you know her?
JazzyJeffCali: how old are you?
JazzyJeffCali: hmm?
JazzyJeffCali: and you’re a dude?
JazzyJeffCali: would you lick her chocha?
JazzyJeffCali: her young chocha
… and of course, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE (i.e the type that makes me want to stab them in the face), the people that do this:
28/8/04 6:16 AM
liquidhifi: hello
liquidhifi: who is this
liquidhifi: your on my buddy list but i dont know who you are
04/9/04 11:46 PM
TurkishDelight37: hey
TurkishDelight37: who is this?
29/12/03 3:46 PM
OhWhoaAUFO: huh? hmmmm…. howd you get on my buddy list
10/8/04 2:23 AM
RyanThaRappa: i put u on my buddy list
RyanThaRappa: but i forgot who u r
04/9/04 11:59 PM
TheCandyManZ28: who is this
10/8/04 2:17 AM
kanenxpac1: ?
kanenxpac1: who are you
10/8/04 2:17 AM
boredwithgarlic: hmm.. some1 on my aim that i dont kno.. who be this?
08/5/04 8:50 PM
NightsEcHoS182: who r u
03/3/04 4:58 PM
cracker man332: who is this
The only other type of IM that i dread are, of course, the Avril ones:
28/1/04 1:39 PM
PWShvr: is your name avril
psykotik2k: nope
PWShvr: ok
PWShvr: are you sure?
psykotik2k: yep. pretty sure
PWShvr: even if you were you probably wouldn’t admit it since you would get flooded with IMs, so I am not 100% sure that you aren’t Avril.
psykotik2k: i’m 100% sure i’m not
(even when i deny it, they still think i’m her)
But thankfully, i don’t get those as much anymore.
03/3/04 5:00 PM
DeadVASky: hey
Auto response from psykotik2k: who are you and why am i on your buddy list?
Dead VA Sky: i read your website
Dead VA Sky: it is sooo awesome
Dead VA Sky: anyway, it makes sense how you dotn want people to talk to you
Dead VA Sky: put me on your buddy list and i promise nto to bug you
It’s hard being psykotik2k.
Passion
I finally saw The Passion Of The Christ yesterday. Picked it up on DVD over at Best Buy (and so did 4.1 million other people apparently). Never did get a chance to see it in theaters (although i really wish i had. would’ve been interesting seeing people crying and all. kinda like when i went to Fahrenheit 9/11 with everyone cheering for Michael Moore).
I thought The Passion was a good movie. The torture scenes were definitely tough to watch. Like when that cat o nail tails dug into Yeshua’s ribcage, and then having chunks of his flesh visibly stripped away.. YOWZA. And what about the part where it LATCHES ONTO PART OF HIS FACE FOR A SECOND. I don’t know which movie has the more brutal torture scenes. Mel Gibson’s The Passion or Takeshi Miike’s Audition.
Anyhow, i joked about how Mel Gibson is seemingly an expert of sorts when it comes to torture. Well, in addition to getting The Passion Of The Christ on DVD, i also picked up The Passion Of The Jew. I never got to watch on TV when it first aired so it was a funny surprise to actually see it for the first time especially AFTER i made the whole Mel Gibson torture/revenge connection in my Paparazzi post yesterday. Because if you haven’t already seen that episode of South Park, they made it seem like Mel gets off on being tortured. Made me laugh.

Actually i almost picked up Ransom and Payback on DVD too after i saw Paparazzi. But i decided to just get the two Passion DVDs instead. Didn’t want the cashier thinking i was some kind of Mel Gibson worshipper or something.
Kyle: SHUT UP ABOUT JEWS FATASS. YOU DON’T KNOW A THING!
Cartman: OH REALLY? I’VE SEEN ‘THE PASSION’ THIRTY FOUR TIMES NOW. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT ONCE! THERE’S EVEN A PART WHERE THE JEWS HAVE A CHANCE TO SAVE JESUS BUT THEY LET A SERIAL KILLER GO INSTEAD AND LAUGH ABOUT IT!
Kyle: YOU’RE WRONG.
Cartman: You know what I think Kyle? I think you’re scared. You’re scared of the truth. If you aren’t scared then go see it. Go see “The Passion” and tell me I’m wrong. 400 million dollars Kyle. The highest grossing film of all time. Those numbers don’t lie. Mel Gibson Kyle… Mel… Gibson.
(pause)
Kyle: You’re just a stupid asshole Cartman.