The great American stereotype. Overweight fat man with a gun. Hee hee.

Well i finally got around to watching Bowling For Columbine about a week ago. Till then, i’d always felt like i was the last person on earth who hasn’t seen Bowling For Columbine yet. Actually no, that probably wouldn’t be true since i don’t think anybody who isn’t American (or at least Canadian) would give a damn about wanting to watch the movie (me being one of probably many exceptions though. and maybe Kingolf too since guns and politics are his thing. have you seen BFC yet Kingy?).

Anyhow, i would’ve watched it earlier if i could but the movie was never out on VCD before it got officially released on DVD. But now that the DVD is out (and bootlegged), i get to finally see what the fuss was all about.

For those of you who don’t already know, Bowling For Columbine is a documentary that centers around the issue of gun use in America. Some people say it’s an anti gun movie (which is funny because Michael Moore himself is a member of the National Rifle Association) but i personally think that it’s an anti stupid people movie*.

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I was flipping through the comments on the last post by Lizzie, and WP Legend’s right. Seventy-five percent of Americans are overweight, but -this being America- it’s our God-given right to be fat; it said so in the Declaration of Independence: Pursuit of Life, Liberty and a Double Quarter-Pounder With Cheese.

That’s right, we’re Americans who propelled, “I’m OK, You’re OK” to the top of the New York Times bestseller list, but seem to have forgotten the second half of the title and now see it as, “I’m OK, But You’re A Fucking Asshole, So Stop Criticizing Me Before I Shove This Broomstick So Far Up Your Ass You’ll Be Picking Splinters Out Of Your Teeth.”

We’re Americans, and collectively we’re fat, but rather than simply admit that we have a problem with over-eating, we eliminate any chance of being flawed in any way whatsoever and hire scientists to find the elusive “Fat Gene”. I don’t care if they find the Fat Gene; I want scientists to find the gene that makes people retarded and not take responsibility for anything.

Case in point: The fuckheads who think it’s Ronald McDonald’s fault they look like Grimace and take the whole company to court. If only Mayor McCheese could step in and say, “You’re fat, it’s your fault, fuck you. Here’s five dollars’ worth of gift certificates for your pain and suffering, thank you and come again.”

But it’s a damn good thing we’re fat, because weight-control books dominate the bestseller lists; diet-pills are sold mainly to truckers, college students and essentially anyone else who can’t find good amphetamines; Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers offices are open all over the country… Being fat is a multi-billion dollar a year industry, employing thousands of people across America, who likely have absolutely no other job qualifications. Couple that with the money generated by things at actually make Americans fat, and you realize that our own obesity is the only thing keeping us out of the poor-house.

What can you do on Love Your Body Day? Go to Hallmark and try to find a card to send to someone, and then ultimately realize that the Love Your Body Day is just a giant publicity stunt created exclusively to promote the National Organization For Women at a minimal cost by getting their followers to go all Stuart Smalley and say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and damn I look hot in these 54-inch stretch-pants…” and then hold rallies for yet-wider seats at movie theaters, airplanes and sports stadiums.

If they had their way, Fenway Park would seat nine people, just to make sure the fattest people on earth could all sit there and be happy as pigs in shit, which is a pretty appropriate metaphor, don’t you think?

thought this might generate some discussion.

and this article in repsonse might generate even more.

this is not a post. it’s just a lazy attempt at giving the people who can read something to type about.

I found out that this girl in two of my classes was actually two different girls. That owned!

Stal is hot.

so im standing in line at publix paying for my sub

and the bag boy is bitching about how his name is RICHIE. it says RICHIE clearly on his name tag. but people keep calling him by names that AREN’T HIS NAME. names that AREN’T ON THE NAME TAG. like chris, or greg.

and when they call him by some name that isn’t RICHIE, he points to the name tag with a vengeance, and gets pissed that they pissily respond with “ohhh, soooo sorry–RICHIE”

and i’m sitting here thinking to myself. my god man. does it really matter?

i mean a rose by any other name… a bag boy by any other name tag!

but he’s RICHIE and he’s ANGRY.

so he hands me my sub in a plastic bag

and he says “have a nice day” in that insincere way (like they’re programmed to do)

and i said

thanks, gary

and walked away

dont read more if you’re easily offended. seriously. the stuff inside is gross. smash would probably like it. it’s that gross.

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21/9/03 10:26 PM
TehBubba: what ya doin/
psykotik2k: downlaoding limewire so i can try to download the full version of sam and max
TehBubba: may the force be with you then.
psykotik2k: ooh!
psykotik2k: i know
psykotik2k: i’mm going to play my old mixtapes!
TehBubba: aah
psykotik2k: from 1997!
psykotik2k: :DD
TehBubba: hee hee
psykotik2k: HEHEHHEHEHEH
TehBubba: i bet you liked gay music.
TehBubba: tell me what’s on them
psykotik2k: OOOH
psykotik2k: sarah maclachlan!
psykotik2k: HARDCORE
TehBubba: man…
psykotik2k: BUILLLDDING AS MYSTERYYYYY
psykotik2k: HOLDING ONNNN
psykotik2k: AND HOLDING IT INNN
psykotik2k: YEAH YOURW ROKING>>> BUILDING A MYSTERYYYYY
psykotik2k: IN CHOOSING SO CAREFULLY
psykotik2k: YOURE BUDILFING A MYCTSURTTTTYYYY
psykotik2k: that’s hardcore
psykotik2k: lets see what else is onhere
psykotik2k: i think this is my sarah mclahclan miuxtape
psykotik2k: i know i have my heart will go on on one of them
psykotik2k: seriously
TehBubba: dying
TehBubba: seriousl
TehBubba: y
TehBubba: fuck
TehBubba: in
TehBubba: aye
TehBubba: wow
TehBubba: almost
TehBubba: almost died! eeeeeee hee hee
psykotik2k: 4 hour tape
psykotik2k: heheheheh
psykotik2k: 2 hours on each side
psykotik2k: hehehehehhee
TehBubba: you idiot
psykotik2k: i wonder where i put my fiona apple tape
TehBubba: you suck

Someday i’m going to have to explain my taste in music.

Here are some Lucy Liu nipple pics.

I dunno. Some people find her hot.

03/10/03 4:48 PM
TheGammaddict: amy’s posts are usually pretty slutty
TheGammaddict: it’s true
TheGammaddict: they are shy
TheGammaddict: but are kinky

My web host has been going down on me a lot lately. And not in a good way, at all. Everything’s down right now. Their main page, boycottme.com, my email, all of it. I’m super irritated.

If there were 4 web hosting companies in the world, I’d switch. But there are a gazillion companies, and a hundred gazillion different plans. I started researching it, “shopping around”, if you will. I’m more overwhelmed than when I go to buy deodorant (and I’m pretty damn overwhelmed then.)

OK, they’re nice and cheap… look up a review. Hmm, maybe they suck. This guy gave it all “1”s and bashed everything. But this guy gave it all “10”s, and praised it all. So which is it? Can they completely suck and completely rule at the same time? Do they rule at sucking? Or do they suck at ruling?

And then there are the others that are supposed to be wonderful, but they’re expensive as hell. If I paid that much, I’d feel like I was being shafted. (Again, not in a good way, at all.)

And, of course, the trade-offs… which is more important to me, storage or bandwith? Am I more willing to pay a set-up fee, or commit to (and pay for) an entire year? Who has the more appealing logo?

Still not back … It’s 7:05, 2 and a half hours from when it first went down. Who would’ve thought they could’ve gone down on me for that long and I’d still be this cranky?

I picked these people two years ago when I moved into my own domain. Someone mentioned the name, it was $10 a month, and I could swing it. (A third of what I pay for that gym membership I don’t use.*)

They’ve been pretty good up until now, but lately, I’m annoyed. I’m open to suggestions if anyone knows a good place. At this point, one testimonial is all I really need.

Did I mention I was annoyed? I’m going to be on post #2 before my site comes back…

I guess I’ll go post this at fubar instead. Hopefully someone will ask me if I think anyone gives a fuck about my problem host.

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* I’m starting to think the $30 a month might be worth it just for the membership card on my keychain. Cause then it looks like I work out. Or at least my keys look like they belong to someone who works out.

ahhh canada. you all seemed to get a thrill ripping on bryan adams in amy’s last post so i thought i’d dedicate a whole post on my homeland. actually, i’m just really bored.

first of all i must say, please i invite you to maim, rape, & muder bryan adams. i can’t stand that man. stab celine dion as much as you want…please run over jim carey & my god get rid of avril lavigne! okay, sure we do have a few bad apples. but what country doesn’t? (three words – the olsen twins) in fact, i do believe you’ve got a few million…err…billion of them. americans are stupid. we have television shows based around americans’ stupidity. how many of you actually believe that we do indeed live in igloos? or that it snows year round in every single province? or that ontario is right beside british colombia? waiiiiit a minute, isn’t ontario in california? what?

you are all severely uninformed.

in other news, i may be canadian, i may not be an idiot, but i still do insanely stupid things. i am the girl who runs into walls…one time i decided it would be a great idea to make some kraft dinner (a canadian delicacy of course) & ended up melting the coffeemaker all over the oven. also, i blew up the microwave with my mom’s wedding gold-laced plates. i just have bad luck. perhaps you’d all get a kick out of my latest retarded antics… this is the results of a mishap with this evil appliance. i do believe i am worthy of the klutz of the year award.

pointless half assed post (i envy those who are either extremely intelligent or creative in thier writings). i didn’t sleep at all last night & i’m off to school…be kind, i’m too lazy to spell check.