Frankenhooker. Have any of you seen that movie? It’s pretty old (1990) and kinda obscure. Very low budget. Very bad in a good way. I remember renting it on VHS and thinking that it was one of the greatest (bad) horror movies i’d ever seen at the time (until i saw Dead Alive which came out 2 years later). Actually to be honest i only started getting into low budget horror movies after 1993. Right after Army Of Darkness came out. So it probably wasn’t until after 1993 did i get to see both Frankenhooker and Dead Alive. After discovering the man that got me hooked on these types of movies, Sam Raimi.
Just in case you didn’t know, i’m a HUGE Sam Raimi/Bruce Campbell fan. Now, when you think of those two names, the Evil Dead Trilogy probably comes to mind first. Funnily enough, my first introduction to Sam Raimi (type) movies didn’t happen with the Evil Dead ones. It was with Darkman which came out in 1990.
I LOVED Darkman. I LOVED it. I thought that it was like the best movie ever back when it first came out. I must’ve watched that movie like, i-don’t-know-how-many times. I even bought the NES game (it really sucked though. unlike the super cool movie it was based on. it played almost exactly like fucking Robocop 2 which was also another shitty game).
Anyhow, 3 years later, Army Of Darkness came out.
And when i saw “From the director of Darkman” on the cover, my vagina went wet. Not knowing that AOD was actually the third part in a series of movies, and having not seen it’s prequels yet, i immediately went out to search for parts 1 and 2 as soon as i finished watching AOD. And i’ve been a Sam Raimi/Bruce Campbell fan ever since.
It wasn’t long til i started seeking out other cult movies from other cult directors.
Like Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive.
Stuart Gordon’s Re-animator.
And, of course, Frank Henenlotter’s… FRANKENHOOKER!
I don’t think many people have heard of Frankenhooker. It’s basically about this guy who starts making a new girlfriend out of hooker parts after his own girlfriend get’s chopped to pieces after an unfortunate accident with a lawnmower.
I think the only other plot synopsis that can top that is the one from Little Otik…
…about a couple who can’t have a baby, so they dig up this tree stump, diaper it up and decide it’s their baby. Oh, and by the way, the tree-stump baby happens to eat people.
So i figured, okay, Frankenhooker. One of the most memorable movies i’d ever seen. Everybody i’ve ever talked to has never heard of it. So i check online to see if it’d ever been released on DVD. And it has! But it’s out of print. I check Amazon.com but they’re all out of it. So is every other site out there. Although i did see people trying to sell used copies on Amazon for like fucking 50 bucks or so. 50 bucks! Outrageous! So then i check eBay and whaddaya know? It’s listed! Some of them even for under 5 bucks! But then i tried bidding on a copy and i kept getting outbidded. My question is, who the fuck would ever want to buy this movie??? (besides me of course)
I actually don’t have a point to make with this post. I’m just pissed that there are other idiots out there that actually want Frankenhooker on DVD (i don’t blame them though. it’s a great movie). They’re still fuckers though. For denying me to purchase the DVD for under 10 bucks by outbidding me each time. Assholes. I’m not paying more than 10 bucks for that DVD.
I think i’ll just go and buy Dead Heat instead.
Joe Piscopo baby!
